when do u wanna get married

edited December 1969 in Faith Issues
have u ever really thought about when u wanna get married i mean if u do it 2 early u might waste ur life and then again if u do it 2 late ur not gonna have a good connection with ur kids so i was thinkin like 2or3 year of college wut bout u guys
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  • Dear Kyrillos,

    No one can really determine when they want to get married. This should be submitted to God's will. Leave it up to God and don't worry about when or who, he'll take care of everything.
  • well..its all really in God's hands....dont worry He will send you the best person for you in the right time...
    but in my opinion..well marrying in the 2nd or 3rd year of college is kind of young..and before you graduate..getting married...i think would distract u from studying... :-\
  • If marriage is in God's plan for me... would like to *ideally* get married 25 or 26. I think that's generally a good age.

    And for the more simplistic answer... "I wanna get married when someone wants to marry me!" ;D

    sotirmou.
  • I actually don't want to get married - however, IF it is God's will for me, i'm sure He'll change how i feel about it.

    You said: "If you do it too early you might waste your life" - hmm... coming from someone who doesn't want to get married - i really don't think married life is "wasted" life ;) Its just a different type of life-style.

    In answer to your question - i think it depends on maturity and not so much age - I mean, i have some friends who are 30 and NO-WHERE near ready to get married. Its a huge deal. Its not just like getting a flat-mate or something... so yeh... I'm not too sure if age is that relevant.

    Having said that, stats say that ppl who are married at 24 are 5 times more likely to end up divorced, than if they married that same person at 27 [its to do with the whole maturity thing..] But yeh - nowadays they find stats to prove everything... so i'm not sure what that says...

    This topic was also discussed here: http://www.mycopticchurch.com/ask/Messages/ViewThread.cfm?ThreadID=1947#9
    Check it out :)
  • hey god child,

    well, you're right. Maturity above age at any right. I wasn't too clear with that in my original post - thanks for bringing it to light! Yeah, I'm not advocating hitting 25 and then running out to the nearest Church to be crowned. I'm saying if by that age, you're ready and 'all systems go', it's the best time to move forward. You're young enough to have a few years of bliss before children and not too old that you're set in your ways.

    With me, I do want to get married, but I have found that that *want* is not as strong as it used to be and I am at the point where actually I could surrender this 'want' for something else or just give it up completely.

    Peace,

    sotirmou.
  • *want* - i have so much to say/question about this, i'm starting a new thread so that i don't ruin this one for the original poster - join me there ;)
  • Lol OK.. there I go with starting WHOLE new threads.
  • Lol Marmar, I thought I answered his question. Now you be making me doubt me readin' abilities! :'(
  • Hey there MarMar - i gotta admit - i thought i answered it too. There is not "law" of when to get marriage - you can't set an age on this. I mean, IMAGINE if they did set an age and everyone had to get married at 26 - is every 26 year old you know really mature and ready enough to get married??? [i think we're underestimating the commitment!].... some of them may have even been readier afew years earlier!

    When is the right age to get married?? [assuming its God's will] - When you're mature enough - and as Sotirmou said - you'll need someone who wants to marry you too ;)
  • ASAP
    i want to get maried young so i can have children young, so that wen my kids r in their teens id be able to keep up with them, and still be able to beat them in basketball
    i say 22-23
    engaged at 20

    i guess its gods will in the end though
  • wat i want to know is wat the best age differance is between the guy and the girl...???
    and i also want to hear views about wat u guys think if the gal hapns to be older, cause here its really frowned upon...
    sorry goin a bit of the topic..
  • well he age that u have 2 b 2 get engaged in the coptic church is 16for the girl and 18for the boy so u can get marreid as young as 18 but thats waaaaaaaaaay 2 early and 5years??? thats alot 3 is the most...still just my opinion
  • I dont know about the age difference thing, there's couples i know, with a difference of more than 10 years, and they are really happy, i guess it depends on the person. Personally i wouldn't go for such a big difference, but its possible :)
  • I know that I'm going to go off topic, and please forgive me, but is there anything wrong with the girl being older in the marriage, or is there anything that says that the guy has to be older?

    sleepy
  • There's no rule that says its forbidden, but its just a fact that (generally speaking) girls mature earlier than men, so if the difference is big, unless u have an extreme mature man, its gonna be difficult. Just a couple of months or a year shouldn't be a problem, but this is just a matter of personal choice.
  • It's not that I'm thinking about marriage now, far from it, it's just that people always speak about the couples, and always, the man is older, so I thought to myself, what if I wanted to change things up a bit....lol

    But like G.J.I. said, it's all in God's hands.

    sleepy
  • Hah, now all those that have been saying such things CAN be proved wrong....lol

    sleepy
  • I know, I meant that the people that have been saying that you can't marry a guy that is younger than you are wrong (not on the site...lol), I didn't mean that you ahd to...lol

    sleepy
  • Posted by: G.J.I Posted on: August 28, 2004, 10:58:35 PM
    ASAP
    i want to get maried young so i can have children young, so that wen my kids r in their teens id be able to keep up with them, and still be able to beat them in basketball
    i say 22-23
    engaged at 20

    i guess its gods will in the end though


    Sry guys, I know I'm going a little to the previous posts, but I completly agree with G.J.I I want to be able to hang out with my kids. Like when I'm thirty, my kids will be tenish. And they'll be in their teenage years when I'm in my thirtys. That way I can be a grandmother when I'm in my fortys and I'm not one of thse old ladies that needs to lie down every two minutes. And I deffintly like the fact of being able to beat my kids at sports. I think that's so cool. Besides i think I'll be able to connect with my kids better if I can still remember how I felt at their age. :D


    Posted by: G.J.I Posted on: August 28, 2004, 11:13:32 PM
    wat i want to know is wat the best age differance is between the guy and the girl...???


    In my opanion, I don't think it matters at all! I mean seriously why should you even care about the age difference. When the right person comes, you're not gonna be like "how old are you"? Oh I'm sorry I can't fall in love with you because you are only 1 year younger than me. I only fall in love with girls who are 5 years younger than me. lolz That's why I don't think it matters. ;D


    Posted by: sleepymusician Posted on: August 29, 2004, 06:04:50 PM
    It's not that I'm thinking about marriage now, far from it, it's just that people always speak about the couples, and always, the man is older, so I thought to myself, what if I wanted to change things up a bit....lol



    I really think you should go for that. I don't I can marry a guy younger than me, but I'd love to see a Coptic Orthodox girl marry someone younger than her. I admire that a lot actually. ;)
  • [quote author=NotOfThisWorld link=board=1;threadid=577;start=15#msg9820 date=1093843749]

    Posted by: sleepymusician Posted on: August 29, 2004, 06:04:50 PM
    It's not that I'm thinking about marriage now, far from it, it's just that people always speak about the couples, and always, the man is older, so I thought to myself, what if I wanted to change things up a bit....lol



    I really think you should go for that. I don't I can marry a guy younger than me, but I'd love to see a Coptic Orthodox girl marry someone younger than her. I admire that a lot actually. ;)



    Hehehe, even though, I'm too young for marriage, nor am I in love, it's a thought to ponder...lol

    sleepy
  • NotOfThisWorld were on the same brain wave ;) ;)
    good stuff :)

    ps just in case any1s interested i just did 2 major exams today, and i have 2 major exams 2morrow, then i have like 4 not important ones...
    i need strong prayers,
    with prostrations,
    and tears...tears would be good..
    GBU all :) :-\
  • G.J.I, perhaps another thread to complain about ur exams!!!
    , i would like if we stayed on the topic as it is very interesting...

    ...where was i?...o yes, marriage...

    [quote author=kyrillos02 link=board=1;threadid=577;start=0#msg9606 date=1093737798]
    have u ever really thought about when u wanna get married i mean if u do it 2 early u might waste ur life and then again if u do it 2 late ur not gonna have a good connection with ur kids so i was thinkin like 2or3 year of college wut bout u guys


    i dont want to get married....theres better things to do :P....well, as a girl, coz u would hav to do mor stuff :-X
    aniwaiz i aint gonna get married...theres too much involved...

    GBU ;)

    and o-balkom ;)

    (hope my arabic is understandable)

  • aniwaiz i aint gonna get married

    u do know that people who say this, end up gettin married the first ones :P ;D
  • [move][quote author=MarMar91 link=board=1;threadid=577;start=30#msg9821 date=1093843914]
    lol, ya young is good, 20 is just too young 22 is good
    [/move]
    ok 19 is great 20-22 is excellent 25 ya better get married if its ur will
    ok and matt i told jenny not to say that and that is kinda true
  • [quote author=$herry link=board=1;threadid=577;start=30#msg9899 date=1093957665]
    [move][quote author=MarMar91 link=board=1;threadid=577;start=30#msg9821 date=1093843914]
    lol, ya young is good, 20 is just too young 22 is good
    [/move]
    ok 19 is great 20-22 is excellent 25 ya better get married if its ur will
    ok and matt i told jenny not to say that and that is kinda true

    according to sherry i better have a bride by now or i am going to be late in the race (i am 19 by the way)
  • lol, egyptian guys have to yekaweno nafsohom first anyway ;D, it's not just simsim

    u got the arabic part??
  • lol, all the marmar's are nice too, and very wise for their age ;)

    yekaweno nafsohom means that u first work for a while so u can get a house and a car and tefresh el sha2a (get ur house done) lol, its just so typically egyptian :)
  • Basically.
    And you neevr know, you may meet the right person while in college, and things may turn out to be that you get married before you get out, you never know.

    sleepy
  • i agree with u sleepy musician..u never know
    let me share this with u..i got engaged when i was 19 years old (i will turn 20 in a few days by the way so i am still 19) i was in my first year at college and i am heading for a master's and a Ph.D. after my 4th year of college so i have at least 6 or 7 more years to go..the difference between me and my fiancee is 10 years (except for 3 months) we understand each other very well..we love each other..i never thought it was going to happen that fast or that way..i never thought that we were going to be that many years apart..but it is God's will..it is not about when u want to get married it is all about what is planned for u..what God has planned for u even b4 u were born..i am not going to get married now of course i am going to wait at least until i turn 21 or until i finish my first 4 years in college and get my bachelor degree but i can't think 3 years ahead i just left it in God's hand and if i get married b4 i finish..i don't think marriage will distract me from studying since it was planned for me from God...after all it depends on us (me and my fiancee) do we feel ready to get married now? can we really do it? it is going to distract me from studying? or is it going to encourage me to study more and do well in school? age doesn't matter..differences in age don't really count (sometimes they are important) as long as this is the right person that God assigned for u..then that's it..leave it for God and he will plan what is good for u

    Goodluck!!!
  • I agree with eriny on the whole "age doesnt matter thing"because my cousin got married wen she was 19 and her husband was 37 and she has a child now and they're very happy. I would have never guessed she would have gotten mareied to a much older guy like that but like eriny said, its not really up to u....its wat God has in plan...

    GOD BLESS ALL! :-*
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