getting engaged

My friend want to know what age are Christian orthodox allowed to get engaged

Comments

  • there are no set dates and times lol...

    however through out good judgement and frequent meetings with both their confession fathers, once both the male and female are READY and mature enough to take on this step, there is no age requirements.

    (however it is probbly recommended that they be of mature age ...18 or so..)
  • :o :o no not 18. i attended a question and answers night with HG Anba Moussa, Metropolitan Anba Bishoy and HG Anba Sorial and this q. came up and Anba Moussa was answering it. he said as 'why' said when u mature but 18 isnt the age. he also said its preferrable to be after u finished uni and looking for work. so u rnt just matured in ur feelings etc. but ur also stable in ur work... so maybe 23 or 24 around that stage. and also if ur looking for a job etc. u will soon be getting ready to start a family so ud have to be financialy stable to.

    hope i helped in any way
    +FROG+
  • they just want to get engaged right now. and when they finish college they will get married.

    the girl is 16 years old and the boy is 18 years old.
    they asked abouna at the church and he said that the girl is too young to get engaged the church rules is you must be 17 years or older to get engaged.

    is that true?

    [quote author=FULLY RELY ON GOD link=board=4;threadid=4084;start=0#msg57132 date=1151836465]
    :o :o no not 18. i attended a question and answers night with HG Anba Moussa, Metropolitan Anba Bishoy and HG Anba Sorial and this q. came up and Anba Moussa was answering it. he said as 'why' said when u mature but 18 isnt the age. he also said its preferrable to be after u finished uni and looking for work. so u rnt just matured in ur feelings etc. but ur also stable in ur work... so maybe 23 or 24 around that stage. and also if ur looking for a job etc. u will soon be getting ready to start a family so ud have to be financialy stable to.

    hope i helped in any way
    +FROG+
  • :o :o :o :o :o :o :o 16!?!?!?!?! r u kidding me??!?!?!?! thats crazy shes still in skool.... my goodnes... the girl isn just young she WAAAAAAAAAY to young... the age for church is prob 17 i dunno but no way ud do that i think its urgent cases man i dunno... and my post ye its tru i dont think id lie to u bout tht... but i really agree with Anba Moussa 23 or 24 is good... one of m servants got married at 30 i thought that was awesome... do wateva u want she was such a dedicated servant... so ye 16 darn thats crazy....

    +FROG+
  • [quote author=traincracker link=board=4;threadid=4084;start=0#msg57133 date=1151849345]
    they just want to get engaged right now. and when they finish college they will get married.

    the girl is 16 years old and the boy is 18 years old.
    they asked abouna at the church and he said that the girl is too young to get engaged the church rules is you must be 17 years or older to get engaged.

    is that true?


    It really depends on the individual - people mature both physically and emotionally at different ages - and the society you live in. In the West it would be advisable to wait until you are atleast 18 and in full time work (if you're going to uni, wait until you've finished - 23 or 24). In other countries, where further education is not the norm and people start working from a very young age, I see no problem with getting married at 16.

    The most pure Theotokos was betrothed to St Joseph at the age of 14 or so, and she would have been about 16 when she gave birth without corruption to God the Word.

    Of course, her circumstances were exceptional - I'm not comparing your friend to St Maria - but its a fact that in her time there would be nothing wrong with a girl getting married at the age of 16 or so.
  • ye i agree with Orthodox11

    +FROG+
  • yes as for the age of 18- ofcourse the longer you wait the better but there is no RULE to what age just a recommendation. Also, if they do decide to get engaged at 18 (FOR THE FEMALE!!!!!!!) they would most likely have to delay the wedding for a while and it is also recommended by our church to keep engagement to 6 mnths...(please somone correct me if those figure are not accurate) so it all relates..if they are going to get engaged at a young age (which is not recommended by our church) they would have to hold the engagement for a long time (which is also not recommeneded by our church)...

    its all about the matter of time..
  • Oh my goodness people, why are you so concerned? We're all still young! Live your life and enjoy it, marriage will come later, when the LORD (hence my emphasis on Lord) allows it.
  • you guys are talking about a different topic. marriage will come later after college. I am talking about engagement
  • Well I know a couple who have been engaged for 6 years :o

    She got engaged at 17 and he, at 18. OMG!!
  • Mazza i have a question for you that you dont have to answer but.....How old are you?
  • [quote author=why link=board=4;threadid=4084;start=0#msg57120 date=1151809891]
    there are no set dates and times lol...

    however through out good judgement and frequent meetings with both their confession fathers, once both the male and female are READY and mature enough to take on this step, there is no age requirements.

    (however it is probbly recommended that they be of mature age ...18 or so..)



    Actually there is an age. It's 18 for guys and 16 for girls.
  • Age requirement or not, 16 - 18 is too young. Here's why:
    1. Physically, a 16 year old's body is still pumping hormones, and making life decisions during that period might not be the best thing to do.

    2. You're still in High School, that is not the right to think about engagement, at ALL.

    3. As teenagers, we still have a long way to go before we're spiritually ready for anything as big as engagement and marriage.

    4. Even if we're physically mature and mentally prepared, we haven't experienced enough in life to make us spiritually mature.

    5. It's a emotionally and mentally stressful process and quite unnecessary for one who still has to worry about grades.

    In my humble opinion, such a decision at such a time is a mistake.
  • If the girl is 16 and the boy is 18, then they are definately not ready to be married, or to even consider marriage. Why are they in such a rush to be engaged? If they claim that they are not even going to to think about marriage untill after college, then why be engaged when still in high school?

    They are too young to be engaged because for Christ's sake, they are still teenagers! You can tell me that they are "really mature for their age", but in my personal opinion, nobody who is 16 is capable of knowing what love is (this isn't to offend teenagers...heck, I'm 16). I think that we teenagers definately know what infatuation is, we know what deep friendship is, but we definately don't know what love is.

    The Coptic Church doesn't have any set rules about what age you should be engaged or married. However, marriage is a very holy sacrament that should only be considered when the couple is mature, after a lot of thought and prayer, and when they're lives are STABLE. Your life is stable when you are done school and you have a career! See HG Anba Angaelos sermon entitled "True Love in Relationships" on the website www.copticcentre.com. In it, he says (this is paraphrased) "For Christ's sake, please wait untill your done university before getting married". Two of my sisters friends got married right after they graduated high school. One is now dropped out of university because she got pregnant, and now she is a 19/20 year old stay at home mom, living with her husband and her baby in her parent's basement :'(. The other friend is currently pregnant, and she hasn't dropped out of school yet, but it is probably inevitable that she will. You can't be in school and with a family at the same time. It's practically impossible.

    Please tell your friends to wait. My general rule of thumb about marriage is that if you're not even at the legal age to drink the champagne at your own wedding, then you are way too young to be married. :P There is no rush to be married. LIVE YOUR LIFE! Don't sit around tied down to a relationship when you are that young. Tell them both to read the book "I Kissed Dating Goodbye". It's all about enjoying your single years and using them to better your relationship with God. Also, remind them that in St. Paul's first epistle to the Corinthians, he talks about love (ch. 13) and the first thing he says about love is that "Love is patient"!
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