Sex, Society and The Norm

edited December 1969 in Faith Issues
hey guys,

ok so in the past few days i have had a couple of interesting experiences and so i wanted to share them with you and start an interesting discussion( keyword there discussion) i would like to have a nice discussion and hear everyones opinions. So first ill share with you what happened to me, well i was walking home yesterday and i was with one of my best friends and somehow we got into talking about christ and church and he mentioned how he felt bad about going to church because he had lost his virginity( i was shocked this was news to me) and so anyway hes been to our church before but then he started saying how could the church expect him to stay a vrigin till marriage he said it was abnormal...! This Shocked me i mean is that what society has become being a virgin till marriage is abnormal!?!?!?! And then today we had a speaker come into class and talk to use about sex and so she asked how many people have had sex before almost all the class raised there hands! then she said how many more than once? 2 people put their hands down im a freshman in high school!? this is shocking.... Ive lived in America my whole life and have never felt society this way so here are my questions... I know we have some older users here..where things like this at your age? when you were in highschool did you feel the same way ? did these things happen around you? also i have some interesting facts i would like to post about in sex in america i found out today in a brochure i received from the County Pregnancy Center and it is taken from reputable
medical studies

Sexually Transmitted Diseases(STDs) in the USA:
-STDs are the most common diseases in America Next to teh common cold and flu
-1 in 5 Americans Are presently infected with an STD
-15 million Americans become infected with STDs Yearly- 41,000 a day
-45 million americans ar infected with an incurable STD
-STDsinfect 3 million teenagers a year
-Every 2 seconds Some one contracts an STD
-Of the 70 million people with STDs 80% have no idea because they have no symptoms

Scary isnt it?! well i really would like to have a mature discussion and see what you guys think about this and maybe get the answer to my question.

aghape,
chris
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Comments

  • i can tell you thats svery dissapointing that i know some of my friends from church has had sex about 3-4 times and is about 14 - 15. yes this is very shocking and its not a healthy relationship with Christ. it usually starts with something like rap music and the lyrics. i also know someone from my school who is not friend that supposedly he has sex almost everyday but i dont know if its true, but regardless its just sick and ignorant.
  • I think parents should start talking about it with their children more. I know egyptian parents are very shy about this but I also know that parents have to play a huge role in the lives of their children and they have to talk to them about everything. I think it is really sad and it makes me almost lose faith in the goodness of people but somehow, i know it can still be there, in certain people... Even if our church was ok with premarital sex (i mean of course its not but even if) I would still find it wrong. I think something that special has to be sacred. Like an incredible diamond that you only wear on a special occasion. I also think it would probably bring more love into the marriage. Don't give up hope in your fellow friends. Its a big deal but its never the end, its never the end of hope and never the end of optimism. The world is pandora's box but that doesn't mean its doomed to the dark side forever.
  • okay yea, so the stats r pretty disturbing bout these kinda isssues! :o.... But, I guess i've always thought of it to be "the norm" in society(Canadians /Americans)...but now that its becoming somewhat common/ found in the youth of our COPTIC ORTHODOX (egyptian)churches...this is where the real isssues begin! What happened to our morals, values, and beliefs?!!? We truly differ from society. Being christian doesnt just mean having a title..there r specific obligations that come with that priviledge. We carry and represent the name of Christ. Especially being COPT, we have huge responsibilities, and are truly blessssed to be brought up "spoon fed" what's right and wrong!!! For a topic such as pre marital sex, we can refer to the bible! It mentions several times the importance of being pure, and fleeing sexual immorality, and remaining a virgin till marriage!! Honestly, its scary to think that our youth are giving into peer pressure and fitting society's definition of "normal"...cuz if us-as copts (being most traditional and fundamental)- wont be the ones to folllow the bible and remain strong in our origins, roots, and STRICT beliefs....then NO ONE will!
  • its weird... egy parents are reeealllyy shy about talkin about the birds n da bees ;). Honestly... i no soooo many people that have had sex like its normal... and wat shocks me is the fact that ther parents THINK that they no wat goes on in life and wat is even scarier is the parents who dont care one bit. In our society today... people r goin clubbin more then church and lives are corrupt. Wat was seen as rong and inproper 10 years ago is now considered normal todayin society and u r weird if u dont do it For exapmle... my scool has kids that dye their hair purple or green and put it in funny designs which amuses me so much. I ve always wanted to do that but my mom slaps me if i say that :D. Jk. But our society is not keepin its virginity because parents arent takin care of kids. Lissen... im only 15 n im not gonna say that im the best kid or the kid who doesnt get in trouble becus its not true. I am not one of the kids that lives under abouna's wing eventhough he really likes me ;D. All im sayin is i have my morals and kids my age should have theres.

    This leads to my next point... the butterfly effect. Ya ur sayin wat in the world does this have to do with anything. But in the butterfly effect also know as the Chaos theory... it says the flapping of a butterflies wing may ultimatly lead to a typhoon or starvation or extintion! Here is how it happens... for example... a butterfly may flap its wing causing a ripple in the water cuasing a bird to swoop down bcus it saw a fish in teh ripples causing the fish population to switch causing a great change in the balance causing this and that... u get where im giong... If kids understood how much they effect everyone around them i think kids would finally understand that they are important and need to contribute alot more. For example... a kid drops out of scool and stays single all his life. How do we no that he wasnt goin to meet his wife in college causing them to have a kid who would become a genius to invent a cure for AIDS. As crazy as it seems... it mite actually hapen and if people lissened... they would feel more important in society.

    My last point, is the fact that society will just keep gettin more corrupt if we dont stop this. Now scools r really sectionalized now. u no the ghetto kids that dress in echo and phat farm... the goths that r all black.. the preps n ther abercrombie..u no the basic "groups". Id hafta say.. the goths and ghetto kids are failin miserbly. I was lookin at grades (my teacher forgot them on the computer :-X) and 8 kids are failing and one has a 32! What??!!! I no this kid... he is very meterosexual and all he cares about is frends and bein cool. Wat is gonna happen in 6 years wen he has to go to college and hasnt even taken SAT's??? He will be on the street increasing poverty and poorness makin our country worse then it already is. In years from now... im scared how my grandkids (if i have any ;D) will be livin. They will be surrounded by peopl who havent heard the word Jesus Christ in ther lives! Have never recievd the Sacrament of the Eucharist or even bin baptazied because ther parents have grew up on the streets becaus they refused to try in scool. Its a chain reaction making our society believe that these problems are normal. Sex... ahh just go ahed no problem! Thats wat will be sed to a 12 year old in 60 or 70 years! picture that... goin up to mama or baba... ya mama momkin ahmil el sex? Aywa... bas irghah hina 12 wi nos! (haha me bein corny... in english:) Can i have sex ma and dad? Sure be back by 12.30. Just picture that! All i no is that this frightens me and im happy that i was born in the family i was born and i have a relationship with my Savior.

    God bless everyone and sorry i took everyones time but i just had to say wat i had to say...
  • [quote author=Maryann23 link=board=1;threadid=1703;start=0#msg26311 date=1117156945]
    Being christian doesnt just mean having a title..there r specific obligations that come with that priviledge.

    :D :D I LOVE how you said that being Christian is a privlidge, because it truly is, and not many people realize that..in fact, most people usually think otherwise :'(
  • WOW this is teh kind of discussion i was talking about mena awesome awesome awesome post everyone keep these great thoughts coming
    [coptic]agapy[/coptic],
    [coptic]Jrictoferoc[/coptic]
  • funny chris... i was thinkin the EXACT same thing... this is one nice convo and the forum is gettin good i like debates

    wait... was that comment to me? i spell my name Mena fyi if it was ;)

    i really wanna get into the topic of drugs
  • Mena do youahve msn because i would liek to talk to you about the pm you sent me and pm isnt working for some reason
    so if u wanna emaill me your msn or aim or yahoo my email is [email protected]
  • What I may say may seem shocking to some, but its based on the simple principle that one of my sunday school kids taught me "Get REAL". Premarital sex has become a norm in our society, and since we can't stop it, we decided to promote its safe practice. not too long ago di the whole idea of abstinance start re-emerging with adds on TV telling people virginity isn't a disease, or a mental disorder...its a gift. Just promote virginity nd hope people listen. You can't force Virginity on people, just preach it. Remeber what Jesus said to peter "I will make you a fisher of men" thats the deal with God...you catch 'em, He'll clean 'em ;)
  • chris who r u talking to????
  • Last week my religion teacher asked "Do you think that someone can live a normal, happy, and healthy life without ever having sex?" and of course, the immediate answer was "NO!!!" They think that's why priest's rape little boys...and they think it must be physcological, and if they don't have sex, they're going to go crazy...I couldn't believe how stupid their answers were, it's like now, our lives revolve around sex!!! It shouldn't be that way at all! :(
  • WOW...Nahda#1 that was good...
    I so believe that it's the role of the parents to tell their kids about what's what. Our parents absolutely don't bring those kind of issues, even thou they should more and more now that they brought us here. U are saying u are afraid for ur grandkids...I am afraid for my kids...who knows what's gonna happen then...I am 18 and ya I shouldn't be worrying about that now...but it's like we are seeing all these stuff and we just don't know what to do. If u go to some of ur friends, and say oh u did and that...u will appear like u are judging them and they might not like that...and if u don't and just ignore the sitaution...now u are not doing the commandment of God of advicing them.
    But ya we do blame it on parents...but I see all kinds of Egyptian parents...like there are those who don't care about their children lives..and the children might be responsible for their own...and their is others who don't care...and their children are going way downhill...and then there is those who care and are very harsh on their children and their children might either be scared of them and do what they tell them to...or they would just rebel and just go downhill as well...
    kinda of make me think...how would i be with my own kids...but i also think it's somehow the church's role...like if the church had a good youth group...then come people will be inclined to go to the church instead of doing something else...tht they knw might harm them
  • Marianne,

    There are 3 kinds of parents:

    The You-will-never-do-anything-until-u-move-out parents: This is the over protective parent. He or she will harbor their child causing them to rebel. For example... i ahve this frend... her mom doesnt let her even look at guys so after church on friday nites after youth... we all chill outside in the parkin lot... she is on every guy. This is to rebel against her parents and their wrath. They dont let her do it so she is gonna defy them and do wat ever she feels like.

    The Go-do-anything parent: This is the parent who doesn't care one bit. Unfortuantly... this is 50% of the time the very rich people who work long hours and supply their kids only with materialistic items. The other 50% just dont care at all. Both of theres groups dont care where ther kids are... who they are with... and how they get somewher. Just last week i went to TGI Fridays... i went with my frend and another kid n he drove... last second we r pullin outta the church parkin lot.. a kid is like can i get a ride. He iddnt no anyone comin but still came. On the way he called his dad for permission and wen his dad was like ya sure watever be back at 12 am... the kid cursed him off and dropped the f-bomb and hung up... kinda scary... if i dropped the f-bomb or any bombinfront of the rents... my head would be chopped off

    Then there is the I-want-wats-good-for-you-but-we-draw-a-line-somwhere parent: This is the typical good parent. Lets there kid associate with the right clique of people... watches over them... doesnt get too involved but isn't too out of ther kids' lives. they have the right balance between butting in and staying out... my parents are a mix of this and the a bit overprotective but its ok cuz they trust me yaaaayy! lol... i ges thats my other 2 cents?

    keep em comin cuz this is just startin up!
  • mena/Nahda#1 IM TALKING TO YOU lol ;D

    aghape,
    chris
  • and also mena what you said about parents i completely agree with you but lets be honest not every parent fits into one of those three categories (actually most dont) for instance i know a gurl who is a friend of mine whos parents are the perfect mix but eventually she ended up takin herself downhill in any situation possible youth meeting school anywhere why i dont know but thats how she is just an example but i think in my opinion a good parent is someone who is not too tight but not too loose but isnt nieve makes sure of everything time you leave time you return where you are at all times but not in such a demanding way

    aghape,
    chris
  • whoever said that egyptian parents are shy about talking to thier children that is absouletly wrong because the egyptian parents are the most people who talks about these kind of stuff!!i will tell you something!

    for about a month ago their was a guest in my school and we talked about having sex and stuff like that and he asked:who didn't have sex before?and the most embarising thing in my whole life I WAS THE ONLY ONE WHO RAISED HER HANDS and then he said WOW and then he felt that he said something wrong when he said WOW and after class was over he talked with me and here comes the graet surprise(he is egyptian and he told me that he was sure that i was egyptian and also he is christian too) ::)

    pray for me!
  • Its hard to live in the world but at the same time "not be of the world" but as children of God we have to do our very best to truly act worthy to be called His sons and daughters.

    Wherever you are, whatever goes around you doesnt really matter, you have to remember that no matter where you are, God's eyes are always watching over you, and He sees everything that you are doing. Have strength in Christ, and know that even though there may be many sinning yet you do not want to upset Jesus because He has already been wounded and hurt so much by our sins.

    Also, do not think of others around you so much, every1 should concentrate about themselves and their own spiritual life.

    when one does something wrong, they always think everyone around them is doing wrong also, and when one does something good, they look at others good. I mean usually, if you ask a person who has had pre-marital sex, he will tell you well every1 else is doing it, but the truth is we shouldnt look at it that way, because its not true, not every1 is doing it, look at those that arent, and try to be like them, look at the positive side not the negative.
  • ladies and gentlemen...the truth HURTS....i'm not surprised by the comments made on this thread as i am exposed to this kind of stuff everyday of my life. apparently, society defines virginity as "un-cool" ..which really disgusts me knowing most of these 13 14 year olds who are no longer virgins, are Christian..."I'd be a Christian, if it wasn't FOR Christians". -Ghandi..
    ouch, that hurts...but, i'd have to say I don't blame him. The way most (not all) Christians act these days is really really nerve-racking. It's so upsetting seeing that I am a teen that has to be exposed to this kinda of stuff.
    parents play a HUGE role in their child's physical, emotional, and mental well-being....nevertheless- the child is the one making the decision. It is ultimately up to them. WE can only pray for our brothers and sisters in Christ, to find the right path.

    god bless
  • i can agree with you for all you said exept for one thing
    that most of the american are baptist and that is the sad part because they didn't know what does that baptism mean and we are orthodox THIS IS THE BIG DIFFERENT BETWEEN THE EGYPTIAN AND AMERICAN!!!


    IF ANYONE SEE THAT IS WRONG PLEASE CORRECT!!! ???
  • Of course our parents play a big role in influencing our mentality and forming our basic morals. Also, our church is responsible to inform us. HOWEVER, it is up to US to take the initiative and put the effort to not conform!! We can not sit here and blame our parents, or our church for OUR weakness and lack of self discipline ! If WE choose to to partake in abstinence, then Great; thats AWESOME!...but if WE choose to follow society, that also was OUR choice. For sure - no doubt- we were influenced by ppl, but when it comes down to it, WE are the decision makers. Each individual is responsible for their own actions. But, if someone (especially a copt) chooses to have sex b4 marriage, and has not repented, they will be held accountable infront of God far more severely, (as appose to a non christian, or a catholic, for example) because we have been given SO much more knowledge than other so called "christians"! We have no excuse- comes judgment day! God will tell us: We had the rules, we had access to a bible, we had our church, we had abounas always ready to hear us out, and YET we still CHOSE (out of our OWN free will to ignore GOD'S will) and do what we WANT! Christianity is about the NARROW path! sorry to sound harsh, but to be a Christian u have to be ready to sacrifice (popularity, reputation, etc)... u GOTTA be strong, and DEEP in faith!
  • Maryann23 you are so right ;)

    christianity is about the NARROW GATE

    the statistics even though are shocking, they are true like truly wat can u do. i know this one gurl who like always goes on bout sex an bla bla bla . i sat wif her once cus i jus got sick of it. i told her, ur life doesnt need 2 revolve around sex. an we had like a 2hr talk an i did all i could.

    i told her that sumfin like having sex should be between a husband and wife. for them 2 meet at the deepsest emotional level. when u get married how can u feel that emotion when u have alreadi givin it 2 some1 else. it stil didnt do anyfin she jus didnt care

    like i believe as christians we have 2 set a good example an like if our own copts an christians r not settin this example, were will our churches and our future youths be in 10 yrs time?
    its so scary wen u think about it
    jus pray guys
    mazza
  • now i also need to clarify something. There is a difference between sex before marriage and sex after marriage. Perimarital sex is clearly condemend. now catholics have something like sex in wedlock should only be for procreation. now thats not right because in 1 Corinthians chapter 7, st. Paul says, if you can't control yourself get married. Now he'd rather us be like him in self control, but he knows not everyone can. so what does he later say...he says you can have sex everyday in wedlock if you want, but keep two days aside for the Lord. So though, it may be wrong to mary for the sake of having sex, but it clearly is better than falling into sin.
  • wait but why would it be wrong to marry purely for the sake of sex? wouldnt that make it a sin in itself?

    aghape,
    chris
  • wait but why would it be wrong to marry purely for the sake of sex? wouldnt that make it a sin in itself?

    Sex is not a sin but rather a gift from God.God made sex pleasurable and to be enjoyed between a husband and wife.Everything God made is good.Only when we abuse the gifts of God,when we indulge to excess,when we stray from the boundries set forth by God;only then does sex enter the realm of sin.

    Just as food and drink are gifts from God,the LORD having made both of these truly pleasurable to our senses;so also when we over indulge these gifts to the point of excess do we enter the realm of sin.So it is with all of Gods good bounty.God made all gifts for the enjoyment of His children,for a specific purpose and function,and that man might glorify the LORD of Heaven for all His lovingkindness. God is truly to be praised!

    Abstinence is also a gift from God.Let each man and woman walk according to the gift God hath provided.Amen.God is good.

    If a man does not have the gift of continance(and the desires of the flesh threaten to overwhelm him)by all means let him marry,he does not sin for the gift of God is good.The great Apostle Paul makes this very clear.

    YHWH is great! Thanks be to the LORD for all the good gifts He bestows on the sons of men. :)
  • i want to add to that wonderful sermon of urs jfranklin and everyone else,

    god made this attraction in order for mankind to continue, just as he created hunger, in order that we may eat.

    the fruit of the loins is very serious stuff. the seperation of pleasure and children is an abonmination. one is the chain reaction of another. now birth control and other things have seperated this connection. so now people arent connecting pleasure to kids any more.

    this is where abortion comes in, again, the thought that pleasure, sex, and children are seperate. hh also says that people who are serious about their prayer and spiritual life do not practice this often. if children are not the goal, sex is not the way, period.

    also, just as u said, gods gift are to degrees, we humans push the limit. sex is like fire, made to keep us warm, has plenty of good uses etc. but let it get out of control, it could destroy u.
  • [quote author=jfranklin link=board=1;threadid=1703;start=15#msg26452 date=1117234170]

    wait but why would it be wrong to marry purely for the sake of sex? wouldnt that make it a sin in itself?

    Sex is not a sin but rather a gift from God.God made sex pleasurable and to be enjoyed between a husband and wife.[glow=red,2,300]Everything God made is good[/glow].Only when we abuse the gifts of God,when we indulge to excess,when we stray from the boundries set forth by God;only then does sex enter the realm of sin.


    So Franklin... wat ur sayin is everything without a single exception. Pornography, drugs, disease, plague, famine... all that is good? Ur sayin that everything is great but he made that kind of stuff. I dare u to find one thing good about porn or drugs sold on street corners in NY! Find one!
  • [quote author=Nahda#1 link=board=1;threadid=1703;start=15#msg26462 date=1117246717]
    [quote author=jfranklin link=board=1;threadid=1703;start=15#msg26452 date=1117234170]

    wait but why would it be wrong to marry purely for the sake of sex? wouldnt that make it a sin in itself?

    Sex is not a sin but rather a gift from God.God made sex pleasurable and to be enjoyed between a husband and wife.[glow=red,2,300]Everything God made is good[/glow].Only when we abuse the gifts of God,when we indulge to excess,when we stray from the boundries set forth by God;only then does sex enter the realm of sin.


    So Franklin... wat ur sayin is everything without a single exception. Pornography, drugs, disease, plague, famine... all that is good? Ur sayin that everything is great but he made that kind of stuff. I dare u to find one thing good about porn or drugs sold on street corners in NY! Find one!


    God didn't make pornography, drugs, OR disease. Pornography is an abomination of MAN. Drugs are an abomination of MAN. some diseases like STDs can be avoided if each man had his wife. God created the union between a man and woman as something good, something holy, and it should be treated as such. Certain plagues and famine are hardships that some people must go through in life. Thats the cross we have to carry. Of course there's nothing good about the pornography and drugs in NY but that is not God's creation.
  • So Franklin... wat ur sayin is everything without a single exception. Pornography, drugs, disease, plague, famine... all that is good? Ur sayin that everything is great but he made that kind of stuff. I dare u to find one thing good about porn or drugs sold on street corners in NY! Find one!

    If you read what I wrote you'll see that I clearly stated(or not...lol) that sex was created for husband and wife.Anything outside these God ordained boundries is wrong--Adultry,fornication.Pornography and all forms of immorality are expressly forbidden by God, and the Holy Scriptures constantly command us to lead a moral and upright life fleeing youthful lust and immorality.The Bible also says that the marriage bed is undefiled, meaning that sex between husband and wife is good and anything outside this God will judge.That God intended man to enjoy marital bliss(including sex)is evident to all.If He didnt want us to enjoy it He wouldnt have made it pleasurable.If He had only intended procreation He could very easily have made sex joyless,but of course He didnt.The same with food or drink.If He intended that we should eat only for self-preservation then He could have designed the human body another way.Taken or reduced our taste buds...lol...But God is a good God who gave man many goodand wonderful gifts in order that we might enjoy His kindness and that we might praise His Name forevermore.God is great and good! Thats a fact.Amen.

  • Pornography, drugs, disease, plague, famine... all that is good? Ur sayin that everything is great but he made that kind of stuff.

    Are you saying that God made things that are evil? Of course everthing made by God is good! God is not the Author of evil. Because of mankinds disobedience SIN has entered the world. SIN corrupts everything it touches--human beings,the natural creation,the good gifts of God ,etc.

    The corrupting influence of sin is the root cause of disease,plague,famine,etc.

    God is good! The Holy Word says,"God(the Father) is too pure to even behold iniquity". Our God is never the Author or Cause of evil; that would be against His very nature and character. Praise the LORD God! :)


    Awad,Cremedelescremes,

    Preach on sisters,preach on....lol....good words,strong message,hearts that love God....you cant beat that combination...lol....So preach on!
  • Awad

    if children are not the goal, sex is not the way, period.

    u mean by that that sex is only for procreation?? because i'd disagree with that. First let me know if u mean that, and then i'll give u the arguments of disagreement ;)
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