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Comments
if we remain silent, we are showing them it is okay.... and then it becomes our fault....
and why isn't it ok....why is it ok for an older person to be doing it and not to a 14 yr old??
Because at 16 the brain is developed, emotion wise... Mostly... that is why they could think of the consequences, and all these kinds of things....
And wasim the one who knows the person is angelofGOD, I think it’s a female.
Ok...1) i dont agree with the whole "fourteen-year-olds-are-the-lost-kids-of-the-future-bit". There are 14yr olds out there that r smarter than I ever will be. Age in these issues doesn't matter. Unless you're over 20 then don't complain ( not directed 2 any1). Dating is an issue for ALL teens of ALL religions and ages. Doesn't matter if you're 12 or 17... because to be honest some 17yr olds act 9 and some 9 yr olds act 50....it all depends on how you're brought up
2) You telling your friend that what he's doing is wrong is only gonna harden/provoke his little brain to do the EXACT opposite of what you're saying. OR, he might just not listen to you. I've learned this from experience... by sitting them down and giving them a bunch of rules and no offense bible verses about what they should and shouldnt do is gonna further complicate the issue.
No one is saying that you should support what they do. Dating might not work for you personally and it might be wrong for you, but in their eyes they're right. You don't have to agree with what they do but u do have to be there for your friend. Because trust me, when they see that you're against what they do and u just refuse to listen to their opinion they won't trust to talk 2 u nemore. I dont mean talk i mean lyk talk talk. Friendship is a strong bond but it's the most delicatest (so not a word :-[) of all relationships.
Yeah u want him to not date but when it comes down to it, it's not up to u... and as horrible as that sounds, it's the truth. Never doubt anyone when they say that prayer is the answer to all questions. You need to pray... a lot. The problem these days with most people is that they're so convinced with their own views on life they forget to let in the whole picture, You have to see where he's coming from and understand the pressure/need to feel or atleast have someone who calls u all the time and says all the weird mushy stuff to u... it makes him feel wanted and happy and maybe thats wut he needs right now maybe it isn't but either way thats still not for anyone to decide... all u can do is support him and be there for him. Real friends dont just see a picture... they see the whole story behind it :-\ So i'll pray for u, and dont worry about it too much... learn to cast ur problems on His shoulders, he's the only one that can carry them ;)
GOD BLESS ALL! :-*
plus I think all of these stuff is different with everyone...for me personally I would have went on and on to everyone about how years ago i thought dating was wrong...but I guess when u go through it yourself and expereince it personally then u might think different, because no matter what...u don't know what they are going through u don't know what they are thinking...and u will never do...
angelofGod i could tell youre in a complicated situation, heres what i think you should do... if you already tried convincing ur friend that its wrong and he still will not get it then go to abouna, but thats only if u see him or suspect him doing something really wrong like kissing etc,.. if its just a talking relationship and the KIDS are only 14 then juss wait for it to blow off but keep an eye out in case they do anything.. if they do, do anything go straight to abouna. cuz the thing is that if you go up to him again hes not gonna listen, hes gonna think youre annoying, and its not gonna work. however at the same time if u went to abouna right away and abouna did something about it, ur friend might suspect that u were the one that got the matter to abounas attention and there would be tension between you and your friend. so in my opinion if its juss a talk relationship, wait for them to break up which will eventually most likely happen since theyre 14. ... pray for me
God Bless,
Mariam
what would two young, or old people do, if they go to a place and stay alone.... if not do they will think.... and thinking is a sin also... so the best thing to do is to avoid the temptation.
God Bless,
Marianne
he will learn if he commits a sin and he will regret, u warned him so now its in his hand. i think tht u learn better from ur own experiences. just be there 4 him.
i hope i made sense. :-[
Part of your role as being his friend is not just to "be there" for him, but to advise him. If you know something is wrong and he's blind to it, it is your responsibility to inform him. Obviously, you cannot force him to see your perspective on such an emotionally-charged issue, but you still should make your stance known although try to do so in a nice manner--not yelling at him or anything but showing him that you really care for his best interests.
As for dating in general, most sermons and lectures I've heard on the issue advise that people go out in groups, rather than one on one as this prevents people from doing certain things that they'd be uncomfortable doing in a group--it's sort of a restraint I guess.
Finally, honestly, I think we cannot assume that no sin will be committed if they're just talking. In reality, a sin is likely to be committed, whether in deed or simply in thought. I definitely disagree with dating at such a young age and I do think age makes a difference (at least for the majority of people) in terms of physical, mental, emotional and spiritual maturity. This is the same reason why it's recommended that people marry when they're a bit older rather than really really young.
Hope this helps.
"...avoid foolish and ignorant disputes, knowing that they generate strife. And a servant of the Lord must not quarrel but be gentle to all, able to teach, patient, in humility correcting those who are in opposition, if God perhaps will grant them repentance, so that they may know the truth, and that they may come to their senses and escape the snare of the devil, having been taken captive by him to do his will. "(2 Timothy 2:23-26)
Moral of the passage, keep repeating yourself that what he is doing is wrong. not in a commanding but in a loving way like he is your own brother.
thanks and Gob bless,
Marianne
look just chill out
not all situations are the same
first take a good look at what ur dealing w
then take step by step, talk to the grl maybe
but u do have to do something
its just that if u tried and hes stubborn
then u have to still try
hes 14, he doesnt know whats what
hes going on animal instinct just do what u want
no it must be put to an end
not only is the guy going to be hurt
hes bringing down grls w him.
try to get some1 hell listen to, telling his patrents may seem cruel but its better 100 to 1 than hell
dating at a young age, especially 14, is wrong. whether they are 'doing anything wrong' or not, its wrong. at 14, a person still has ALOT of room to grow and mature, and they are still discovering themselves. dating is usually done to find the person you're going to live with the rest of your life, and no one at that age wants to date someone with marriage intentions in mind. people date simply to satisfy desires and such, that are ment to be taken care of later.
the devil is really tricky, he'll make it seem like its ok and harmless to go out alone without doing anything wrong (holding hands, kissing, etc).... but actions arent the only sin. thoughts start to run through a teens mind and even if they dont act upon it right away, its still wrong. impure thoughts are still a sin, as the bible says: "if you look at a woman lusting her you've already commited adultry in your heart"... that's just looking and thinking, no action! dating at a younge age almost never leads to anything good.
if someone wants to spend time with someone, do it in groups, not alone.
angelofGod, i have a similar situation where a friend of mine is dating and as far as i know its getting 'out of hand'....now im not sure how 'out of hand' your friend's situation is, but here's what i can tell u based on expereince: we tried talking my friend out of dating, we talked to abouna and he gave us advice and such, we confronted her, we played along with her (as in we tried to make it seem ok to gain her trust again and then confront her), we did alotta things to try to get her to stop, but she hasnt. since none of us have dated before, we cant relate much to her experience personally. however, God sent us a another friend that was going through her situation, and is now over it and has changed for the better with His grace. we've introduced them to each other and now that friend is trying to help our friend out by relating personal experiences and talking to her. its much better, i my opinion, when the help is coming from someone that knows what's going on and can easily relate. it makes things alot more effective. hopefully with Gods grace we can talk her out of it.
if you can find someone who's gone through that situation and has clearly changed their ways, perhaps you can befriend them and get them to talk to your friend, who might listen to someone who's "been there, done that". perhaps they can convince them of the devils intentions in dating
and never underestimate the power of prayer, hey i mean, it moved a mountatin!.... so keep praying for your friend.
good luck and i hope things go well...
take care and God bless!