Leaving the church

Comments

• ItalianCoptic

  August 2015

  What has caused you to leave the Coptic church? I am a convert TO the church and now serve as a Deacon. I would like to help you in any way if possible as someone who came from the outside into the church.
• coptic_girl

  August 2015

  I feel like the community spirit is no longer about Christ. It is about who is popular and can take over. It's just like a high school, not a church. At my parish, those who hold responsibilities and serve are nasty people. Think "mean girls" it's exactly like that
• Khepra

  August 2015

  Just go to another coptic church. If that doesn't help, maybe a syriac church. If you want more english, maybe an Eastern Orthodox jurisdiction. Whatever makes you comfortable, as long as it is orthodox.
• ShareTheLord

  August 2015

  Coptic_girl,

  
  

  It is sad to hear that your church has been unable to filter through the "nasty people" and make you see the Lord in the church nonetheless. Feeling fellowship and unity is of primordial important to our orthodox church. We must be of one mind, one spirit. However, change is highly resisted in orthodoxy. Not that change is never an option or incorrect, but rather, change at the wrong time could make you lose out on a spiritual learning experience. A spiritual growth. Talking to your father of confession is imperative in such a scenario. The 'only' reason  where I personally see a person leaving a church is permissible, is when the church is toxic to your spiritual life. This may be your case, that may not be your case - but you CANNOT be the sole judge of that. There is a saying I like that says: "Pain must accompany the process of maturation (/development)". It is not because your situation may be difficult that makes the matter a good idea to change church. There are many things one could learn from being in a difficult situation. Don't let the difficulty be the reason for the change. Sit with your father of confession and bring into perspective your spiritual life with him. If the conclusion is your specific church is toxic to your spiritual life, seek another Coptic church. If none remains, seek an Oriental orthodox church, and so on as Khepra advised. However, if you make such a decision without your father of confession, you will be sure that similar issues will arise at different churches, whether Coptic or not. Our goal is Christian perfection, spiritually unshakeable and unaffected by these external difficulties.

  
  

  Finally, along side speaking to your father of confession, find it in you to find the love of God and show the God's love to these "nasty people". They are in need of His love, we all are. It is our duty, one of our many Christian objectives, to be God's object of love. His love will change us, His love can change them, His love will give you the strength to withstand anything, for truly, His love has saved His church.
• mtawad

  January 2016

  Hi,
  I've seen this posted before and thought I should share:
  
  If you left the Church or a department in church to get away from hypocritical people, you should also quit your job, drop out of school, disconnect yourself from all social media platforms, from all of your friends and family, lock yourself in your room while you're at it. There will be flaws wherever there are humans. We need to start seeing church for what it is; it is a hospital with wounded and hurt people. You will find messed up, conniving, calculating, imperfect individuals, including yourself. As much as you want to deny it, we all go for healing. So if you felt betrayed by a fellow Church member, put your Nursing cap on, and think of them as your patients. Treat them with care, love and kindness despite their rudeness.
  
  Lastly all I want to say is that we go to Church to meet God to feel more connected to Him and to be protected from the world if we are really rooted in all the Church's teachings. So the people in it should not have influence on you and shouldnt bother you if your main focus is to go for God and God alone. Be careful, do not give up God's house because of people, you wouldn't do that if you truly love Him which I'm sure you do. I don't want you to lose all this. Think positive and think of the blessings in everything. I too struggled from this.
  
  May God guide you and strengthen you
• kassiane

  January 2016

  You apparently KNOW me!  Are you a member of my church?   (just kidding. But you have described where I am mentally at this time as if you actually KNOW me!
• Joshuaa

  January 2016

  Sorry to hear you're having trouble Coptic_girl. I have been in the Coptic church for over yen years now and I have experienced similar things happening.
  One of the biggest problems I feel is getting used to new environments. Some situations bring on insecurity, which is doubt, so the only thing they tend to trust is themselves. This results in control. So if there is something that they don't approve about you or they have their own exclusive group, then you don't really need to be with them anyway because you need to be yourself.
  That's part of what Christ wants for you anyway. I know the people in the church are supposed to reflect Christ in their lives, however, even in my church about only half of the people are truly spritually minded. That's what abouna told me after I stopped coming for a few weeks. I was upset no one goes to confession and not only that the church is full of gossips. I felt very awkward that on the one hand they outwardly were friendly and the other they were back stabbing and full of second guessing. It is all about doubt.
  You need to be strong, like Christ, as in when the pharisees, who always had doubt about Jesus and had contempt for Him wanting Him gone, so like Him refused to leave Jerusalem on account of the ones who he was to save and that He wasn't going to be who they wanted Him to be.
  
  Pray for them Coptic_girl and show Christ's compassion that you win them and not the other way around. You can go there just for the liturgy and go if you want.
  I'm focusing on doubt when I listen to others. How much they have. What they are trusting and so on .
  
  I pray you will by strong.