Depression/Unanswered prayers

edited December 1969 in Personal Issues
Hello everyone. Sometimes when I get very close to God, I begin to notice every minor sin I do.
A few days ago at church, I began to have thoughts of pride and vain glory. I tried to fight it but to no avail. At church, I began to pray in my thoughts asking God to take away these thoughts from me. When nothing happened, I began to be depressed, because vain glory and pride takes away my peace and I was not able to get rid of the thoughts. What should I have done?

In the Bible it says "Rejoice in the Lord, again I say Rejoice!" I could not rejoice because of these thoughts.

Any help will be appreciated. I hope anyone can help me. Thanks everyone for your knowledge.

Comments

  • Always say this in your head:

    "Oh King of Peace,
    Grant us your peace.
    Confirm Your peace
    And forgive us our sins."
  • [quote author=drilago99 link=topic=12122.msg143354#msg143354 date=1313701486]
    Hello everyone. Sometimes when I get very close to God, I begin to notice every minor sin I do.
    A few days ago at church, I began to have thoughts of pride and vain glory. I tried to fight it but to no avail. At church, I began to pray in my thoughts asking God to take away these thoughts from me. When nothing happened, I began to be depressed, because vain glory and pride takes away my peace and I was not able to get rid of the thoughts. What should I have done?

    In the Bible it says "Rejoice in the Lord, again I say Rejoice!" I could not rejoice because of these thoughts.

    Any help will be appreciated. I hope anyone can help me. Thanks everyone for your knowledge.


    It is a great thing that you are recognizing your "minor" sins. It is an indication that you are closer to the Light.

    St. Macarius (I think) prayed for 14 years to be rid of one sin and finally God freed him from it. You prayed a few times and didn't get what you wanted. Keep praying and in due time these thoughts will be taken away from you.

    To rid yourself of pride keep your sins before you at all times.
  • "Our eigth struggle is against the demon of pride, a most sinister demon, fiercer than all that have been discussed up till now. He attacks the perfect above all and seeks to destroy those who have mounted to almost the heights of holiness. Just as a deadly plauge destroys not just one member of the body, but the whole of it, so pride corrupts the whole soul, not just part of it. Each of the other passions that trouble the soul attacks and tries to overcome the single virtue which is opposed to it, and so it darkens and troubles the soul only partially. But the passion of pride darkens the soul completely and leads to its utter downfall.

    In order to understand more fully what is meant by this, we should look at the problem in the following way. Gluttony tries to destroy self-control; unchastity, moderation; avarice, voluntary poverty, anger, gentleness; and the other forms of vice, their corresponding virtues. But when the vice of pride has become master of our wretched soul, it acts like some harsh tyrant who has gained control of a great city, and destroys it completely, razing it to its foundations. The angel who fell from heaven because of his pride bears witness to this. He had been created by God and adorned with every virtue and all wisdom, but he did not want to ascribe this to the grace of the Lord. He ascribed it to his own nature and as a result regarded himself as equal to God. The prophet rebukes this claim when he says: "You have said in your heart; 'I will sit on a high mountain; I will place my throne upon the clouds and I will be like the Most High.' Yet you are a man, and not God." (cf. Isa. 14:13-14). And again, another prophet says: 'Why do you boast of your wickedness, O mighty man?' and he condemns in this same vein (Ps. 52:1). Since we are aware of this we should feel fear and guard our hearts with extreme care from the deadly spirit of pride. When we have attained some degree of holiness we should always repeat to ourselves the words of the Apostle: "Yet not I, but the grace of God which was with me" (1 Cor. 15:10), as well as what was said by the Lord: "Without Me, you can do nothing" (John 15:5). We should also bear in mind what the prophet said: "Unless the Lord builds the house, they labor in vain that build it" (Ps. 127:1), and finally: "It does not depend on man's will or effort, but on God's mercy" (Rom. 9:16).

    Even if someone is sedulous, serious, and resolute, he cannot, so long as he is bound to flesh and blood, approach perfection except through the mercy and grace of Christ. James himself says that "every good gift is from above" (Jas. 1:17), while the Apostle Paul asks: "What do you have which you did not receive? Now if you received it, why do you boast, as if you had not received it?" (1 Cor. 4:7). What right, then, has man to be proud as though he could achieve perfections through his own efforts?

    The thief who received the kingdom of heaven, though not as the reward of virtue, is a true witness to the fact that salvation is ours through the grace and mercy of God. All of our holy fathers knew this and all with one accord teach that perfection in holiness can be achieved only through faith, fear of God, gentleness and the shedding of all possessions. It is by means of these that we attain perfect love, through the grace and compassion of our Lord Jesus Christ, to whom be glory through all the ages. Amen"

    + St. John Cassian +


    "On no account, beloved, must you flee from what may be a chance for acquiring virtue. On the contrary, whenever such a chance offers itself, you should accept it with joy, regarding as best and most welcome such things as are unpleasant to your heart and evoke no sympathy in you. I predict that, with God's help, you will actually do so, if you engrave deeply in your mind the following thoughts.

    First, you should realize that the opportunities for virtue you meet with are the best means you can have for acquiring it, given you by God in answer to your prayer. Having formed a desire to gain virtue, you have, of course, prayed God to grant it to you; and in praying for it, you could not avoid praying also for the methods and means of acquiring this gift. But God does not give, for instance, the virtue of patience without afflictions, nor the virtue of humility without humbling occasions of degradation and dishonor. So, after your prayer about these virtues, He sends you corresponding opportunities. What are you doing, then, in running away and avoiding them? You reject God's help for which you prayed, and mock the gift of God.

    So decide to welcome gladly the chances you meet for virtue, and the more gladly, the more difficulties they offer. For in such cases our virtuous actions evoke great courage and reveal great moral strength; and through this we make each time a considerable step forward on the path of virtue, which alone should be our constant aim."

    + St. Theophan the Recluse +
  • Christ's Servant -- That was really helpful. I read it all. Thanks.
    George -- I tried it. It helped! :)
    Unworthy1 -- That made me feel much better. Thanks

    But there's something i still need help with. Unworthy said that St. Macarius prayed 14 years to be rid of one sin. But when I feel that my thoughts are thoughts of pride, I lose my peace. I begin to feel that every second that goes on is commiting more sin. I begin to pray to escape pride. What should I do?

    Am I supposed to just continue (without peace) but with patience?

    Sorry If I'm unclear, it's kind of difficult to explain but thanks so much for all your help. I love tasbeha.org now! :)
  • Can you elaborate a bit more?

    This is what I am understanding:

    1. You have thoughts of pride.
    2. You lose your peace.
    3. You pray to escape pride.
    4. The prideful thoughts persist.

    Am I missing something?

  • [quote author=drilago99 link=topic=12122.msg143417#msg143417 date=1313778425]
    Nope :)


    Which question are you answering? lol  ;)
  • [quote author=Unworthy1 link=topic=12122.msg143390#msg143390 date=1313731374]
    Am I missing something?


    You're not missing anything.

    Since the prideful thoughts persist, I become depressed. I do not know what to do at this point.
  • Talk to your FoC about it. I think I understand your situation because I had similar issues with pride. But I don't think any advice I give will be beneficial because it will be too generic. Your FoC will be able to prescribe the best remedy.

    Pray and ask God to reveal your faults and shortcomings so that you may gain true humility.
  • [quote author=drilago99 link=topic=12122.msg143424#msg143424 date=1313783143]
    [quote author=Unworthy1 link=topic=12122.msg143390#msg143390 date=1313731374]
    Am I missing something?


    You're not missing anything.

    Since the prideful thoughts persist, I become depressed. I do not know what to do at this point.


    I feel you, heres something By Father Athanasius Iskander in his book "Practical Spirituality" that could be helpful:

    actually, theres so many things that are helpful from there so I'm just gonna send you the Chapter I'm referring to ( Chapter 3: Discipline of the Will) and use His tips to reverse ideas of pride that the devil tries to send you.

    Heres Chapter 3 - Discipline of the Will :
    http://www.coptichymns.net/module-library-viewpub-tid-1-pid-437.html

    I advise you to read the whole book  here it is online (go by the Chapters..Chapter 1, Chapter 2 etc):
    http://www.coptichymns.net/index.php?module=library&tid=1&filter=core.author:eq:Hegomen Athanasius Iskander&pubcnt=100

    You can order the book online: http://www.amazon.com/Practical-Spirituality-According-Desert-Fathers/dp/0980517117

    AND one MORE THING:

    DON'T get depressed, that is a sin because its like you are saying there is no hope in God. Listen to what the Prophet David said in Psalms 3:2-6
    "Many are they who say of me,
            “There is no help for him in God.”  Selah  
           
    3 But You, O LORD, are a shield for me,
            My glory and the One who lifts up my head.
    4 I cried to the LORD with my voice,
            And He heard me from His holy hill.  Selah  
           
    5 I lay down and slept;
            I awoke, for the LORD sustained me.
    6 I will not be afraid of ten thousands of people
            Who have set themselves against me all around. "

    We must be like the Prophet David and not listen to satan when he says to you " theres no hope for you, you're a lost cause... You'll  never advance spiritually because you are too prideful, just give it up. You are not worthy to even...blah blah blah" ofcourse the devil will tell you these things to make you despair and lose hope in the God who tramples Death. You have to keep being persistent and the devil will eventually flee because his usual methods aren't working, Listen to what the Apostle James advises James 4:7-10:
    "Therefore submit to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you. 8 Draw near to God and He will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners; and purify your hearts, you double-minded. Lament and mourn and weep! Let your laughter be turned to mourning and your joy to gloom. Humble yourselves in the sight of the Lord, and He will lift you up."

    Because you are submitting to feeling "depressed" he continues to supress you, you have no reason to be supressed becuase you have with you God who has over come satan so that you could fight. Continue to fight and God will help you, Repent and ask Him to guide you out from this and He who is always faithful will be by your side. Remember as you fight that it is God who gives the increase, not you and He is the one who causes ANY progress you may have.

    "So then neither he who plants is anything, nor he who waters, but God who gives the increase." 1Corinthians 3:7

    May God help with His Mercy and Love
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