I read the thread called depression and thought that it was time for me to tell you guys about how I feel. I am depressed, I feel rejected from everyone around me, from my parents to my Priest. Church used to be my only escape from all the troubles I had but God didn't even let me rest there. In the last period of time many problems arose.senior deacons have hit me or slapped me on the face a couple of times before, for no reason and sometimes they even blame some of the mistakes of others on me EVENTHOUGH they know I didn't do it...everybody likes picking out the bad stuff in me publicly, and they enjoy it very much, it feels like everyone is challenging me. My life has gone so bad, I used to be a 95%+ student, now I worry about failing and my best mark is 80%, I memorize hymns yet I am the only person at Church that whenever gets to do something or wants to do something has to be revised a 100 times. Other people's parents are Churchgoers and are even maybe part of the Council or their dads are deacons and they do not get any criticism, yet they are well respected. Unlike me, I go to almost all services, I am a deacon and has been one for about 1.5 years now, and I am considered the recently ordained deacon....my parents however do not go to Church and I get made fun of because of that and as you can say I have become the "maltasha" of the Church. Whenever anything happens, I can't even find the comfort of a Priest who would support me, rather my Priest does not support me one bit, and I am the least likely to be chosen for anything....I go home emotianally distressed and sometimes I lock myself in my room and cry as much as I can, I don;t want to blame all of this on God rather I do think it's a kind of message or punishment.
I feel so terrible, the only thing on mind right now is stop going to Church, stop serving at all or even change Churches and go to another Orthodox Church and ofcourse the third soloution is probably the last soloution I will be using....
Please help me.... :'(