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(personal issue?) marriage.
The user and all related content has been deleted.
Comments
Easier said then done, but hope it helped
GB, rabena ma3ak
I dont see anything wrong with that.
So, when you're 25, 30, and you have a degree - the question the priest will ask u is: if you love this person or not, or if you've found the right one.
The right person for you may come at a time when financially you are not ready. But wait a second - in married life, you do NOT know what life will throw at u. What if you lose your job, or become ill, or what?
What then?
What if you marry the wrong person at 30? You're ready financially, but what good is it if u are not happy with the person u are with??
I'm not suggesting that u marry at 16 or 20.. but I think its "OK" to be thinking about marriage at that age, and even get married young. Marriage is a HOLY SACRAMENT. Whilst your friends and peers at school may be having immoral relationships, you will not believe in that. You will find yourself alone. won't u?
Also, I HATE this attitude of not being ready until you finish your degree.. why is a degree necessary for marriage??? Its a basic human right. What on earth does a degree have to do with the sacrament of marriage? And i think the Church is giving the wrong signals if it insists on you being financially stable before you get married.
When is a person financially ready for marriage? If I have 100000 euros in my pocket, I live according to 100000 euros. If I have 10 euros only, I live according to that. That's it. The person whom you marry MUST accept you with your limitations.
I don't understand this AT ALL from Coptic priests.
You are ALREADY in the smallest niche possible: i.e. you are coptic orthodox, living in the Diaspora. The Church will NOT baptise ANYONE and make them Coptic just so you can marry them. The day you find someone Coptic and you want to marry them, such a feeling should be rewarded with joy and not sarcasm from a priest who tells u that u are still a baby.
You don't have to marry them THERE AND THEN! You can plan it so you can finish the things you want to before you embark on marriage.. but the idea of marrying is good.
Do the priests not appreciate the fact that you are not approaching them and telling them "Fr. I found a girl, I REALLY like. she's cute.. I just want to make her my girlfriend.. date her a bit, maybe use her for sex, and see how it goes."
What worries me more is that such attitudes from priests make you look at yourself as being "INSUFFICIENT". that's just STUPID!!! They teach u to thank God for everything you have, and be thankful for the small things you have, but then they go and make you feel that you have nothing when it comes to marriage. THAT'S DUMB!!!!
Actually...I found that the words my father of confession spoke to me to be very wise...he knows me best...there are a lot of things that went into him telling me that and it's too long to discuss.
The reason why they say you should be financially ready is that this is a source of many problems for them...
What happens if you lose your job or you fall ill when you are married? What then?
I don't know about you, but the impression I get is that the Church is causing a lot of problems like this for young couples. I agree that you should be ready and give yourself the BEST chance possible, and i think a degree is not bad to have ; but a LOT of copts have done a degree in ANYTHING just to get married.
its only to please the Coptic Criteria set by priests.
And the worst part is this, that makes my blood boil: these priests, that serve with us, have not grown up with us in the Diaspora. They've got married in Egypt, lived all their lives in Egypt, and then they come to the west and live amongst us and have NO idea about school life, peer pressure, anything.
[quote author=GODlovesme link=topic=10487.msg127549#msg127549 date=1295520149]
Actually...I found that the words my father of confession spoke to me to be very wise...he knows me best...there are a lot of things that went into him telling me that and it's too long to discuss.
The reason why they say you should be financially ready is that this is a source of many problems for them...
What happens if you lose your job or you fall ill when you are married? What then?
I don't know about you, but the impression I get is that the Church is causing a lot of problems like this for young couples. I agree that you should be ready and give yourself the BEST chance possible, and i think a degree is not bad to have ; but a LOT of copts have done a degree in ANYTHING just to get married.
its only to please the Coptic Criteria set by priests.
And the worst part is this, that makes my blood boil: these priests, that serve with us, have not grown up with us in the Diaspora. They've got married in Egypt, lived all their lives in Egypt, and then they come to the west and live amongst us and have NO idea about school life, peer pressure, anything.
Zoxasi,
Wouldn't that be the same logic as:
Why do they insist I get a car before I start working. What if I get it into a crash. What then?
It at least seems to me that they both use the same logic. Maybe I'm misunderstanding what you mean.
please pray for me
Oh and didn't I already tell you to become a monk?!?!
Obviously she doesn't feel the same about him. He won't get married, I've read his posts, doing all those bad things and now thinking he's in love? He doesn't know the real meaning of love. I don't think he's worthy enough to be a monk. Sorry DimyanCoptic, but if you really want love, or to be a monk, wait a little longer, focus on school or you are nothing.
edited: actually wait a lot longer, seriously, if you're 16 with that mentality, grow up faster, I thought you were 12.
by the way most people are still 'in love' with people on TV at this age, as for me, it was a family friend. no, rather, i was in love with the idea of being in love. i sort of realised this, so didn't tell this guy, just watched him from a distance till my hormones calmed down!
;)
maybe a bit harsh.
by the way most people are still 'in love' with people on TV at this age, as for me, it was a family friend. no, rather, i was in love with the idea of being in love. i sort of realized this, so didn't tell this guy, just watched him from a distance till my hormones calmed down!
;)
True love is not love at first sight, when you love someone because of their looks then that's not love, it's infatuation. I love someone because of who they are and I developed that love over a long period of time and it is still developing, love is not instant.
By the way that is a good way to calm your hormones, good job :).
http://tasbeha.org/content/community/index.php/topic,10543.0.html
[quote author=AikotiEnsok link=topic=10487.msg128360#msg128360 date=1296072139]
Oh and didn't I already tell you to become a monk?!?!
Obviously she doesn't feel the same about him. He won't get married, I've read his posts, doing all those bad things and now thinking he's in love? He doesn't know the real meaning of love. I don't think he's worthy enough to be a monk. Sorry DimyanCoptic, but if you really want love, or to be a monk, wait a little longer, focus on school or you are nothing.
edited: actually wait a lot longer, seriously, if you're 16 with that mentality, grow up faster, I thought you were 12.
now thats pretty harsh.
Let us clean the inside of the cup before we clean the outside.
Pray for me,
Chris
[quote author=Khas. link=topic=10487.msg128374#msg128374 date=1296073608]
[quote author=AikotiEnsok link=topic=10487.msg128360#msg128360 date=1296072139]
Oh and didn't I already tell you to become a monk?!?!
Obviously she doesn't feel the same about him. He won't get married, I've read his posts, doing all those bad things and now thinking he's in love? He doesn't know the real meaning of love. I don't think he's worthy enough to be a monk. Sorry DimyanCoptic, but if you really want love, or to be a monk, wait a little longer, focus on school or you are nothing.
edited: actually wait a lot longer, seriously, if you're 16 with that mentality, grow up faster, I thought you were 12.
now thats pretty harsh.
Let us clean the inside of the cup before we clean the outside.
Pray for me,
Chris
Define Love.
[quote author=AikotiEnsok link=topic=10487.msg128546#msg128546 date=1296148374]
[quote author=Khas. link=topic=10487.msg128374#msg128374 date=1296073608]
[quote author=AikotiEnsok link=topic=10487.msg128360#msg128360 date=1296072139]
Oh and didn't I already tell you to become a monk?!?!
Obviously she doesn't feel the same about him. He won't get married, I've read his posts, doing all those bad things and now thinking he's in love? He doesn't know the real meaning of love. I don't think he's worthy enough to be a monk. Sorry DimyanCoptic, but if you really want love, or to be a monk, wait a little longer, focus on school or you are nothing.
edited: actually wait a lot longer, seriously, if you're 16 with that mentality, grow up faster, I thought you were 12.
now thats pretty harsh.
Let us clean the inside of the cup before we clean the outside.
Pray for me,
Chris
Define Love.
Are you talking to me? I would love to answer you, but I'm 16.... I have no idea what love is! Well, relating to women... I have felt the love of Christ from time to time, and I can't define that with words.
Oooooh nice answer aikoti, it's so true, Khas I don't what u r trying to do but talking and judging like that will not cause the person u r trying to persuade to change. It will cause depression and sadness. Instead of saying u need to grow up I thought u were twelve u could say wait till you are more mature before thinking about such things. I am hoping I am not being offensive right now but I just had to say it.
Sorry, I am Sorry.
[quote author=AikotiEnsok link=topic=10487.msg128546#msg128546 date=1296148374]
[quote author=Khas. link=topic=10487.msg128374#msg128374 date=1296073608]
[quote author=AikotiEnsok link=topic=10487.msg128360#msg128360 date=1296072139]
Oh and didn't I already tell you to become a monk?!?!
Obviously she doesn't feel the same about him. He won't get married, I've read his posts, doing all those bad things and now thinking he's in love? He doesn't know the real meaning of love. I don't think he's worthy enough to be a monk. Sorry DimyanCoptic, but if you really want love, or to be a monk, wait a little longer, focus on school or you are nothing.
edited: actually wait a lot longer, seriously, if you're 16 with that mentality, grow up faster, I thought you were 12.
now thats pretty harsh.
Let us clean the inside of the cup before we clean the outside.
Pray for me,
Chris
Define Love.
God IS Love.
Oooooh nice answer aikoti, it's so true, Khas I don't what u r trying to do but talking and judging like that will not cause the person u r trying to persuade to change. It will cause depression and sadness. Instead of saying u need to grow up I thought u were twelve u could say wait till you are more mature before thinking about such things. I am hoping I am not being offensive right now but I just had to say it.
[quote author=user00 link=topic=10487.msg128819#msg128819 date=1296315943]
[quote author=Khas. link=topic=10487.msg128559#msg128559 date=1296153459]
[quote author=AikotiEnsok link=topic=10487.msg128546#msg128546 date=1296148374]
[quote author=Khas. link=topic=10487.msg128374#msg128374 date=1296073608]
[quote author=AikotiEnsok link=topic=10487.msg128360#msg128360 date=1296072139]
Oh and didn't I already tell you to become a monk?!?!
Obviously she doesn't feel the same about him. He won't get married, I've read his posts, doing all those bad things and now thinking he's in love? He doesn't know the real meaning of love. I don't think he's worthy enough to be a monk. Sorry DimyanCoptic, but if you really want love, or to be a monk, wait a little longer, focus on school or you are nothing.
edited: actually wait a lot longer, seriously, if you're 16 with that mentality, grow up faster, I thought you were 12.
now thats pretty harsh.
Let us clean the inside of the cup before we clean the outside.
Pray for me,
Chris
Define Love.
God IS Love.
user00 beat me :/
[quote author=geomike link=topic=10487.msg128654#msg128654 date=1296194314]
Oooooh nice answer aikoti, it's so true, Khas I don't what u r trying to do but talking and judging like that will not cause the person u r trying to persuade to change. It will cause depression and sadness. Instead of saying u need to grow up I thought u were twelve u could say wait till you are more mature before thinking about such things. I am hoping I am not being offensive right now but I just had to say it.
[quote author=user00 link=topic=10487.msg128819#msg128819 date=1296315943]
[quote author=Khas. link=topic=10487.msg128559#msg128559 date=1296153459]
[quote author=AikotiEnsok link=topic=10487.msg128546#msg128546 date=1296148374]
[quote author=Khas. link=topic=10487.msg128374#msg128374 date=1296073608]
[quote author=AikotiEnsok link=topic=10487.msg128360#msg128360 date=1296072139]
Oh and didn't I already tell you to become a monk?!?!
Obviously she doesn't feel the same about him. He won't get married, I've read his posts, doing all those bad things and now thinking he's in love? He doesn't know the real meaning of love. I don't think he's worthy enough to be a monk. Sorry DimyanCoptic, but if you really want love, or to be a monk, wait a little longer, focus on school or you are nothing.
edited: actually wait a lot longer, seriously, if you're 16 with that mentality, grow up faster, I thought you were 12.
now thats pretty harsh.
Let us clean the inside of the cup before we clean the outside.
Pray for me,
Chris
Define Love.
God IS Love.
user00 beat me :/
Accept my apology please.
[quote author=AikotiEnsok link=topic=10487.msg128874#msg128874 date=1296364341]
[quote author=geomike link=topic=10487.msg128654#msg128654 date=1296194314]
Oooooh nice answer aikoti, it's so true, Khas I don't what u r trying to do but talking and judging like that will not cause the person u r trying to persuade to change. It will cause depression and sadness. Instead of saying u need to grow up I thought u were twelve u could say wait till you are more mature before thinking about such things. I am hoping I am not being offensive right now but I just had to say it.
[quote author=user00 link=topic=10487.msg128819#msg128819 date=1296315943]
[quote author=Khas. link=topic=10487.msg128559#msg128559 date=1296153459]
[quote author=AikotiEnsok link=topic=10487.msg128546#msg128546 date=1296148374]
[quote author=Khas. link=topic=10487.msg128374#msg128374 date=1296073608]
[quote author=AikotiEnsok link=topic=10487.msg128360#msg128360 date=1296072139]
Oh and didn't I already tell you to become a monk?!?!
Obviously she doesn't feel the same about him. He won't get married, I've read his posts, doing all those bad things and now thinking he's in love? He doesn't know the real meaning of love. I don't think he's worthy enough to be a monk. Sorry DimyanCoptic, but if you really want love, or to be a monk, wait a little longer, focus on school or you are nothing.
edited: actually wait a lot longer, seriously, if you're 16 with that mentality, grow up faster, I thought you were 12.
now thats pretty harsh.
Let us clean the inside of the cup before we clean the outside.
Pray for me,
Chris
Define Love.
God IS Love.
user00 beat me :/
Accept my apology please.
Haha no need to apologize! But it's ok :)
[quote author=Khas. link=topic=10487.msg128924#msg128924 date=1296421087]
[quote author=AikotiEnsok link=topic=10487.msg128874#msg128874 date=1296364341]
[quote author=geomike link=topic=10487.msg128654#msg128654 date=1296194314]
Oooooh nice answer aikoti, it's so true, Khas I don't what u r trying to do but talking and judging like that will not cause the person u r trying to persuade to change. It will cause depression and sadness. Instead of saying u need to grow up I thought u were twelve u could say wait till you are more mature before thinking about such things. I am hoping I am not being offensive right now but I just had to say it.
[quote author=user00 link=topic=10487.msg128819#msg128819 date=1296315943]
[quote author=Khas. link=topic=10487.msg128559#msg128559 date=1296153459]
[quote author=AikotiEnsok link=topic=10487.msg128546#msg128546 date=1296148374]
[quote author=Khas. link=topic=10487.msg128374#msg128374 date=1296073608]
[quote author=AikotiEnsok link=topic=10487.msg128360#msg128360 date=1296072139]
Oh and didn't I already tell you to become a monk?!?!
Obviously she doesn't feel the same about him. He won't get married, I've read his posts, doing all those bad things and now thinking he's in love? He doesn't know the real meaning of love. I don't think he's worthy enough to be a monk. Sorry DimyanCoptic, but if you really want love, or to be a monk, wait a little longer, focus on school or you are nothing.
edited: actually wait a lot longer, seriously, if you're 16 with that mentality, grow up faster, I thought you were 12.
now thats pretty harsh.
Let us clean the inside of the cup before we clean the outside.
Pray for me,
Chris
Define Love.
God IS Love.
user00 beat me :/
Accept my apology please.
Haha no need to apologize! But it's ok :)
Thank yous.
Lettuce
[quote author=AikotiEnsok link=topic=10487.msg128983#msg128983 date=1296434514]
[quote author=Khas. link=topic=10487.msg128924#msg128924 date=1296421087]
[quote author=AikotiEnsok link=topic=10487.msg128874#msg128874 date=1296364341]
[quote author=geomike link=topic=10487.msg128654#msg128654 date=1296194314]
Oooooh nice answer aikoti, it's so true, Khas I don't what u r trying to do but talking and judging like that will not cause the person u r trying to persuade to change. It will cause depression and sadness. Instead of saying u need to grow up I thought u were twelve u could say wait till you are more mature before thinking about such things. I am hoping I am not being offensive right now but I just had to say it.
[quote author=user00 link=topic=10487.msg128819#msg128819 date=1296315943]
[quote author=Khas. link=topic=10487.msg128559#msg128559 date=1296153459]
[quote author=AikotiEnsok link=topic=10487.msg128546#msg128546 date=1296148374]
[quote author=Khas. link=topic=10487.msg128374#msg128374 date=1296073608]
[quote author=AikotiEnsok link=topic=10487.msg128360#msg128360 date=1296072139]
Oh and didn't I already tell you to become a monk?!?!
Obviously she doesn't feel the same about him. He won't get married, I've read his posts, doing all those bad things and now thinking he's in love? He doesn't know the real meaning of love. I don't think he's worthy enough to be a monk. Sorry DimyanCoptic, but if you really want love, or to be a monk, wait a little longer, focus on school or you are nothing.
edited: actually wait a lot longer, seriously, if you're 16 with that mentality, grow up faster, I thought you were 12.
now thats pretty harsh.
Let us clean the inside of the cup before we clean the outside.
Pray for me,
Chris
Define Love.
God IS Love.
user00 beat me :/
Accept my apology please.
Haha no need to apologize! But it's ok :)
Thank yous.
Lettuce
Lettuce praise the Lord of hosts??
[quote author=Khas. link=topic=10487.msg129085#msg129085 date=1296475498]
[quote author=AikotiEnsok link=topic=10487.msg128983#msg128983 date=1296434514]
[quote author=Khas. link=topic=10487.msg128924#msg128924 date=1296421087]
[quote author=AikotiEnsok link=topic=10487.msg128874#msg128874 date=1296364341]
[quote author=geomike link=topic=10487.msg128654#msg128654 date=1296194314]
Oooooh nice answer aikoti, it's so true, Khas I don't what u r trying to do but talking and judging like that will not cause the person u r trying to persuade to change. It will cause depression and sadness. Instead of saying u need to grow up I thought u were twelve u could say wait till you are more mature before thinking about such things. I am hoping I am not being offensive right now but I just had to say it.
[quote author=user00 link=topic=10487.msg128819#msg128819 date=1296315943]
[quote author=Khas. link=topic=10487.msg128559#msg128559 date=1296153459]
[quote author=AikotiEnsok link=topic=10487.msg128546#msg128546 date=1296148374]
[quote author=Khas. link=topic=10487.msg128374#msg128374 date=1296073608]
[quote author=AikotiEnsok link=topic=10487.msg128360#msg128360 date=1296072139]
Oh and didn't I already tell you to become a monk?!?!
Obviously she doesn't feel the same about him. He won't get married, I've read his posts, doing all those bad things and now thinking he's in love? He doesn't know the real meaning of love. I don't think he's worthy enough to be a monk. Sorry DimyanCoptic, but if you really want love, or to be a monk, wait a little longer, focus on school or you are nothing.
edited: actually wait a lot longer, seriously, if you're 16 with that mentality, grow up faster, I thought you were 12.
now thats pretty harsh.
Let us clean the inside of the cup before we clean the outside.
Pray for me,
Chris
Define Love.
God IS Love.
user00 beat me :/
Accept my apology please.
Haha no need to apologize! But it's ok :)
Thank yous.
Lettuce
Lettuce praise the Lord of hosts??
Yes,
Lettuce
[quote author=AikotiEnsok link=topic=10487.msg129170#msg129170 date=1296530452]
[quote author=Khas. link=topic=10487.msg129085#msg129085 date=1296475498]
[quote author=AikotiEnsok link=topic=10487.msg128983#msg128983 date=1296434514]
[quote author=Khas. link=topic=10487.msg128924#msg128924 date=1296421087]
[quote author=AikotiEnsok link=topic=10487.msg128874#msg128874 date=1296364341]
[quote author=geomike link=topic=10487.msg128654#msg128654 date=1296194314]
Oooooh nice answer aikoti, it's so true, Khas I don't what u r trying to do but talking and judging like that will not cause the person u r trying to persuade to change. It will cause depression and sadness. Instead of saying u need to grow up I thought u were twelve u could say wait till you are more mature before thinking about such things. I am hoping I am not being offensive right now but I just had to say it.
[quote author=user00 link=topic=10487.msg128819#msg128819 date=1296315943]
[quote author=Khas. link=topic=10487.msg128559#msg128559 date=1296153459]
[quote author=AikotiEnsok link=topic=10487.msg128546#msg128546 date=1296148374]
[quote author=Khas. link=topic=10487.msg128374#msg128374 date=1296073608]
[quote author=AikotiEnsok link=topic=10487.msg128360#msg128360 date=1296072139]
Oh and didn't I already tell you to become a monk?!?!
Obviously she doesn't feel the same about him. He won't get married, I've read his posts, doing all those bad things and now thinking he's in love? He doesn't know the real meaning of love. I don't think he's worthy enough to be a monk. Sorry DimyanCoptic, but if you really want love, or to be a monk, wait a little longer, focus on school or you are nothing.
edited: actually wait a lot longer, seriously, if you're 16 with that mentality, grow up faster, I thought you were 12.
now thats pretty harsh.
Let us clean the inside of the cup before we clean the outside.
Pray for me,
Chris
Define Love.
God IS Love.
user00 beat me :/
Accept my apology please.
Haha no need to apologize! But it's ok :)
Thank yous.
Lettuce
Lettuce praise the Lord of hosts??
Yes,
Lettuce
Lettuce give thanks to the Lord?