I turn to boys for happiness.

edited December 1969 in Personal Issues
    I recently realized that I have a serious problem. I feel as if I'm not happy with my life. I'm not enjoying it. I keep losing loved ones and my friends drift away from me. I know the root of this problem is that my relationship with God is not strong, but as i search for happiness, I always find myself talking to another guy. The more i get to know one the more i grow to like them and feelings get involved. That's when i feel happy. What should i do ?


  • "Charm is deceitful and beauty is passing, But a woman who fears the LORD, she shall be praised. Give her of the fruit of her hands, And let her own works praise her in the gates." - Proverbs 31:30-31

    You seem to have said it yourself, that this is a problem. You should find something to motivate you towards God other than relationships - especially if you are young and in no position to get married and be led by a spiritual husband.

    "But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control. Against such there is no law." Galatians 5:22-23

    You say that you are unhappy. You keep losing all that is around you, and the only thing giving you happiness is talking to another guy. I might be wrong, but I see it this way. Look at the fruits of the Spirit in Galatians 5. By entering a trying to establish or develop a relationship we try on our own to be kind, to be good, to be faithful, to be gentle etc.. And the more we try to get these on our own, unknowingly, we get a taste of what the fruit of Spirit has to offer. But in reality we did not get any of those fruits from the Spirit Himself - thus, it is incomplete. Feelings fluctuate, and are unreliable. Unless you get those fruits from the Spirit Himself, you never have the impression that your life is complete/enjoyable.

    So obviously, best thing to do is get everything through the Spirit, that is God Himself. Focus on your relationship with God. Find whatever triggers you to get to him. Talk to your father of confession about this. Tell him, you need to find a better way to get those fruit of the Spirit. A guide is crucial. Look up to someone. Put yourself the goal of having happiness and peace with God, and look for it in every single person around and how they might have gotten to it. Learn from them - from everyone.

    I hope I was of some kind of help,

  • John gave some wholesome advice that I myself should take.

    I think this is common in girls, especially the younger ones.. I know I was like that up until a few years ago except I was usually too awkward and self-conscious to talk to guys lol.

    That unhappiness is a calling to find the one "guy" that can make you joyful in any circumstance..God! Really seek Him and He will be all that you need to be satisfied...that's what I'm learning.

    Make God your... "guy"!

  • well, it's good that you've acknowledged that there is a problem, that's always the first step. i used to be like that and i still struggle, but something that always reminds me of the graveness of this sin is the fact that we are causing our brothers to sin. i remmeber this story of st. george, how when he was in prison, they sent him this woman to make him fall. but he didn't fall, but rather he was concerned for that woman's own salvation. and he started talking about Christ jesus to her. and when the guards came back, they found the woman all covered up rather than in the nakedness she came in with.
    also, talkign to a guy for happiness is temporary, shallow satisfaction. that boy probably will ditch you as soon as someone more pleasing to him comes along. always remember that at the end of the day there is One to please. One that will love you. and One life that you're given. the youth years can be polar oppasite in that they can be confusing, rebellious for teens or it can be a chance for you to really see God, while you are young and havent seen much of the world. take these youth years and they will be fruitfully multiplied in God. say the Jesus prayer, "My Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, save me and have mercy on me a sinner". it works, just believe in Gods strength.

    idk these were some of the things that helped me, hopefully it will help you too =D
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