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Question for men

yaso3rafekey
edited December 1969 in Personal Issues
This question is for men who are considering marriage !!!

would you marry a girl who was married before and was separated from her first marriage for some reasons BUT was given clear permission from the church to marry again????

Comments

  • gregorytheSinnergregorytheSinner
    this might not be the answer b/c i'm not exactly 'interested' in marriage nor am i the biggest fan of it, but i know for fact that most "church-going" guys, wouldn't cross the Church on such a thing.
  • deaconmark123deaconmark123
    i would say no on my behalf, because you dont know if she will do the same with you. For me if my wife ever divorced me i would definatly feel like a sore thumb in church lol

    but its up to you and how you feel about her, pray about it and thank God for even providing u with the chance to get married and he will direct you
  • sodr2sodr2
    never marry a woman without a prenup
  • [Deleted User]
    The user and all related content has been deleted.
  • AikotiEnsokAikotiEnsok
    probably no, but you must also consider why the marriage was separated. there is a difference between a woman who was divorced for killing the husbands family or something, and vice versa. the reason makes a big difference however, i would be very hesitant to marry anyone who is non-virgin.

    hope i helped!

    chris
  • Ashamed
    i'm not a man. But if she her marriage was absolved by the Church, then in God's eyes, that marriage was void ... so obviously she hasn't done anything wrong since she has been given permission by the Church to marry. ... correct me if I'm wrong, as I'm to sure of the rules. etc.

    So the way I see it, is that if the Church through the eyes of God has absolved the marriage, then I don't think it should be a barrier.

    But its personal choice really.

    Has the marriage affected who she is today? Will it cause problems for you and her relationship. etc.  This is the type of questions to ask yourself
  • socoolbishoysocoolbishoy
    remember it would be a cross... if you're able to put up with this person due to your "real" love, and will be able to put up with her for the rest of your life, then by all means go for it...


    for me personally I've seen cases where "whores" became housewives, and great girls from great families became... well you know the rest!

    love sometimes makes us oversee the shortcomings of our partners... this is a big problem, we need to sit  back and think about the situation realistically to see what can we do?!

    why the question thought?


    akhadna el baraka... neshkor Allah!
  • Godislove_Godislove_
    you should ask ur foc or father of confession
  • yaso3rafekey
    thank you everyone for your reply..

    she is an amazing and wonderful girl and the reason she was seperated from her first marriage was not her fault at all, she was deceived in her first marriage and that's why the church gave her permission to marry again and voided her first one.

    pray for me please
  • grace08
    May God Bless you for seeing her for who she truly is and not judging her for something that was not her fault. 

  • Theophilus 1Theophilus 1
    [quote author=yaso3rafekey link=topic=8709.msg109448#msg109448 date=1264015408]
    thank you everyone for your reply..

    she is an amazing and wonderful girl and the reason she was seperated from her first marriage was not her fault at all, she was deceived in her first marriage and that's why the church gave her permission to marry again and voided her first one.

    pray for me please


    yaso3rafekey I trully envy you.

    I am that ‘unforgiving debtor’ (Matthew 18: 21-35) whom the Lord has forgiven but might not do the same if I were in your shoes. If you can think this way about someone who has been divorced it is the work of the Spirit. 
    Pray for me
    In Christ
    Theophilus  :)
  • peterfarringtonpeterfarrington
    mabsoota has already reminded us that if God blesses the Church with many new converts then a proportion of those people will already have had sexual relationships and even have been married. It would be a terrible shame if members of the Church viewed such converts, newly illuminated and cleansed by God, as unclean and unworthy of being married to any Coptic Orthodox.

    There is a need for us to face certain cultural imperatives which make us view people in a certain way, they are not always helpful. The fear of shame should act to preserve us from falling into sin, but if it causes us to look down on others then our pride, and the pride of others, is the greater sin.

    If the Church has said this person may marry again then within the Coptic Orthodox context it is pretty clear that the Church considers her blameless. if she is blameless then there is no sin or shame in anyone taking her for a wife, if that is what she wills.

    Anyone who looks down on her is guilty of sin. Anyone who looks down on a man who marries her is guilty of sin. But neither she nor her prospective husband are guilty of any sin at all.

    Father Peter
  • yaso3rafekey
    I agree 100% with Father Peter, why should I or anyone judge someone who was not at fault for any reason.

    This is really what I don't understand from our egyptian culture. People always blame the girl for any break up whether it was marriage or an engagement and they don't look at the man, they always judge the girl even if she is innocent.

    Why can't we look at the true person and who they really are, whether if they were at fault or not we should always let the past go and look for the future.
  • the_leastthe_least
    if this is the person God has chosen for you, then don't hesitate for a moment even if this... and if that... I remember there is this story in the old testament where God told someone to marry a woman who was a harlot (if you know what I am talking about please point it out)

    Also, don't worry one bit about what Egyptian 'settat' say. They are the ones guilty of sin as Fr. Peter pointed out, so ask God to forgive them.

    We have already concluded that she is blameless for the divorce, but allow me to add that even if she was the worst sinner you can think of and repented truly, and God forgave her for her many sins she will love God more than those who have only been forgiven a few sins like Jesus said. Remember, St. Moses the Black and Strong did not only become a monk but a father of monks.
  • mabsootamabsoota
    it was hosea who married a prostitute, when she had not repented! thank God this is only for great national prophets, not for us  :)
  • Amoussa01
    Just FYI, if the marriage was voided, than it was not a "divorce;" it is an annulment. That difference is that, in an annulment, the marriage is completely void and is considered to have never happened. Hope this cleared up some things.

    God Bless
    Tony
  • yaso3rafekey
    Thank you Tony for clarifying, I meant to this eariler too. It was not a divorce, it was an annulment.
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