Please help but this is really mature

I joined this website because i was told that this website has very helpful members


Everybody has a sin they are struggling with mine is pornagraphy and masturbation

I am sorry if i disturbed anyone but please help it has become a sin that i don't think i can fight anymore

i really need help

Please pray for me

Comments

  • It is a tough sin to fight. That is why it requires baby steps. Believe it or not pornography is very bad it makes you think bad of women and it corrupts your mind. One exercise to start with is lie to yourself. When you feel your going to do it say I will in a little bit, this way your mind thinks its going to do it and than keep yourself busy. When that little bit of time comes say after I do this or that I will and than before you know it its time for bed and just sleep and say tomorrow I will, just keep playing that game and eventually you won't crave it. Also just use your computer for business or checking email and than shut it off and read the bible or pray and hangout with people don't trust yourself alone. Eventually you will learn not to want to watch it anymore because of how dirty it is. I hope that helps. Pray for me.

    C
  • Conqueror,

    Are you sure this is a good advice? Do you have any sources?
  • Well I know Conquerer is right about "the baby steps" part.  Most clinging sins are like that, they wont leave easy, and if you cut them off you go through a sorta-withdrawl. 
    My advice is if you want to cut porn off, try to do it completely, but if you can't do that and you feel the urge to look at females, go to celebrity images and look at dressed females.

    Of course this is just my advice, talk to your FOC see what he advices cause i'm sure alot of youth suffer from this.  and like Conquerer said as well, pray and read.
  • edited January 2014
    +my brother, God is there if u are willing to accept His help. His Hand is so much beyond stronger than the devil-who is weak next to God. God will guide u to peace. i urge u to pray to God..We all need of His Perfect love. We all need Him because truly without Him we nothing. "Pour out your heart like water before the face of the Lord." (Lamentations 2:19). The Holy Spirit (Who is One with God) will guide u if u let Him.

    Since we are in Saint Mary's fast, ask her to intercede for you and to stick by you to help you and support you. Tell her that u are weak and sinful and don’t deserve her purity to be supporting u but u need her to pray for you and don’t worry she'll intercede for u if u are willing to change with all the effort u can.
    If you have a close saint ask for their intercessions and to help to encourage you (if u dont have a favourite saint, find one.. :D ) (Then do something nice in commoration for Saint Mary and that saint/s)  :)

    Every time we fall into a sin, the devil is laughing at us, he wants total destruction, he wants us to be totally destroyed.

    God never leaves us and when we leave Him, He is knocking on the door of our heart. Because of His great love we want to do everything in our power to please Him. And we never want Him away from us, ever! God doesn’t need us but we need Him, that why He didn’t allow us to perish.

    You need to be open about this to your father of confession. Its tough, but write it on paper and let him read it if u can’t say it. The Holy Spirit will guide your confession father and he will make a program or cater advice to you for ur capabilities. Talk to your confession father about your spiritual life. Abouna is there to help you and not judge or criticise u. Ur confession father only wants u to reach eternal life with Jesus and ur confession father will do everything to help you.
    Escape to God alone if you want to escape from sin. Escape by confessing and not by hiding. Tell Him, 'You are my shelter' and so let the only love, which grants life, to grow inside of you. (St. Augustine)
    Something that my confession father doesn’t let me go without during each confession is saying "oh my Lord Jesus Christ, forgive me for I am a sinner. And do the sign of the cross at the same time. The devils flee at Jesus' name n the sign of the cross and turn like dust at a humble person. This is an arrow prayer that pierces through heaven and you feel God in front of you if you scream it from the depths of your heart. You feel the peace of God.

    Even devils in their craftiness and beastly manners and with their overconfident minds; they become like dust when they face a humble person. (St. Issac of Syria)
    I saw the snares that the enemy spread out all over the world and I said in groaning. 'What can get through from such snares?' Then I heard a voice saying to me, 'Humility.' (St. Anthony the Great)
    The best thing is the humility of the heart, for it elevates the mind to look at perfection of God. (St. John Saba, The Spiritual Elder)
    Humility is a ground that carries the virtues. (St. John Saba, The Spiritual Elder)
    To think or ponder on evil makes the heart unashamed; but to destroy evil, through self-restraint and hope, breaks the heart's pride. (St. Mark the Ascetic)
    There is no fortified work like hope in God, for it vanquishes and stops all wars. (St. John Saba, The Spiritual Elder)
    The person who relies on his personal wisdom, and follows his own will, can be tripped by Satan easily. (St. Dortheos the Antiochian)Despise your wisdom and mortify it, so that the Wisdom of God may descend upon you. (St. John Saba, The Spiritual Elder)
    So flee youthful passions and pursue righteousness, faith, love, and peace, along with those who call on the Lord from a pure heart. (2 Timothy 2:22)

    Also if u have bad friends tell your confession father about them and he will tell you how to stop hanging around with them.

    The constant submission during prayer before God is a mystery. The one who perseveres in it is dead to the world. (St. John Saba, The Spiritual Elder)
    Prayer and fasting are your weapon against the devil and he will make up any excuse for u not to pray or fast. Pray the agpia.........it has words in there that we can’t even make together. King David had a bad past but submitted himself to God and when he repented, God made him great for the glory of God.
    The passion of adultery is extinguished by the songs of the Psalms and the beauty of the tunes. By the pouring of the head before God and the hidden screams. (St. John Saba, The Spiritual Elder)
    I cant stress enough how important prayer to God is. Prayer is a relationship between you n God...God wants to hear u n u want to talk to God n in turn u want to hear God and He wants to talk to you. it’s a two way conversation. the more time u spend with God willingly, the more God will show you His love, His way, His strength, His glory, He will reveal Himself to you.
    If we seek God, he will show himself to us, and if we keep him, he will remain close to us. (Abba Arsenius)
    Learning the Holy Bible is in the amour of God, in Ephesians 6:17-the sword of the spirit,which is the word of God.
    Reading the Scriptures is a great safeguard against sin. (Abba Epiphanius)
    Repentance is the daughter of hope and the refusal to despair. (St. John Climacus)
    I don’t agree with what gregorythesinner said about "but if you can't do that and you feel the urge to look at females, go to celebrity images and look at dressed females." Because those images will still make you fall, whether a big fall or a small fall-you still sin!
  • how old are you?!
  • Forgive me because I will list the harms on one’s life only. This is because, I’m sure other posts will focus on the healing and other positive ways. I believe for any issue in our lives we need to see the positive and the negative outcomes in order to estimate the benefits and the dangers.

    The effects of pornography are:

    Secret life: Addicts always keep to themselves and keep their addiction secret. They get used to two-faced life and this might go on with other aspects of life which results in dysfunctional relationships not only with partners, but with all people.

    Accelerated increase in sexual desire: Addicts experience an ever-increasing lust and a craving for more intense porn. Natural sex is not stimulating enough, which pushes into sadism and violent sex.

    Hijacking sex images most of the time. Even if you no longer view porn, you will be fought with mental images for years. So if you are young now and unmarried, it will still affect your future marriage life, unless it is treated in depth.

    Dissatisfaction with your sex life: especially when married and most probably marriage is ended with divorce. Men who look at porn are dissatisfied by their wife's appearance and this often leads to dysfunctional relationships.

    Shame and guilt: low self-esteem and emotional pain are associated with pornography. Destroyed self-image and sense of failure are usually experienced.

    Addiction to masturbation: Those addicted to porn are almost always addicted to masturbation. The sexual urges become so strong that masturbation becomes the easiest, fastest way of release.

    A wrong view of women: Women in porn are viewed as less than human. In playboy magazine they are little cute bunnies not humans, or viewed as mere property. Sometimes they are considered something to compete for or conquer.

    Acting it out: This might go far as committing a crime. People who view porn frequently have a greater tendency to act out those sexual behaviors on other such as rape, group sex, having sex with children, inflicting pain, and so on.

    May God’s Name be glorified with you.
  • my brother in Christ...nobody is perfect except God. The good thing is u want to stop these bad sins. Realize that sin = death. Fill your time, the devil's golden opportunity to attack you is when your doing nothing..when ur bored. pray, read the Holy Bible, practise alhan or read a book. Before u do these sins think to your self ,will these sins i'm doing HELP me enter Gods kingdom? Will these sins benefit me spiritually? Joseph was tempted by potiphar's wife to sin, but he didn't except it. he said: how can i sin in front of the Lord? Ask your self this question. My brother in Christ, JEsus Himself was tempted by the devil,but he overcame him and defeated him. You can do the same. Have hope. Many people had problems with this and God helped them over come it. believe that God can help u with this sin. When u pray tell Him, O Lord, i'm a weak servant and i need ur help...help me with this sin that's taking over my life and the precious gift of time that I waste doing these things.....say what u really want to say.. God is there and He'll here u! Keep on trying never give up! If you stumble get back up. continue on.
    GDU and help u thru the intecession of the Virgin Mary
    God be with you
    Pray for me and my weaknesses
  • Whenever i am about to fall into sin, i think of Christ and all that he has done for me. If we commit sins, its just like another thorn in Christ's head, or another nail.. whenever you feel like you are about to fall into sin, say Psalm 23 (The Lord is my shepherd..) or any Psalm. Make the Sign of the Cross and say the Jesus Prayer.

    Think of Jesus right over your shoulder, looking at you about to sin. who would be able to commit any sin when the Almighty God is standing behind you?? None of us can. God is everywhere so its the same thing. He sees everything that you do. And you will have to "give account" of your sins before the Just Judge.

    What if we died while doing this sin? I know you're probably thinking, "oh, im not going to die now, im still young!" , NO ONE KNOWS WHEN THEY WILL DIE!!! we could pass away at ANY TIME. so be ready ALWAYS to meet your Creator, the Just Judge.  If you are about to fall into sin, think about the ETERNAL, BURNING FIRE of Hell.

    I want you to think about spending 20 minutes inside a burning building. You would probably think that it was the worse 20 minutes of your life, because you could have died. Now think about spending a whole day, week, month, year, FOREVER!!!

    We have to be perfect just as our Father in Heaven is perfect. Pray UNCEASINGLY, go to Church, talk to your Father of Confession, read spiritual books.

    I dont mean to sound harsh but we are all just looking out for each other.

    I think I should take my own advice once in a while.
    please pray for me and my weakness, and for the forgiveness of our sins.
  • [quote author=marina008 link=topic=8272.msg105599#msg105599 date=1250733277]
    when ur bored. pray, read the Holy Bible, practise alhan or read a book.


    Not to deviate but what is alhan?

    whenever you feel like you are about to fall into sin, say Psalm 23 (The Lord is my shepherd..) or any Psalm. Make the Sign of the Cross and say the Jesus Prayer.

    That is a beautiful Psalm.

    If you do fall, then you get back up and repent of what you have done. If you fall, turn immediately to God. The best Psalm to read is Psalm 50 (51 in Western Bibles), "Have mercy upon me, O God". Let this Psalm be imprinted on your heart and say it with compunction. God is merciful and we have to acknowledge our sins and turn right to God. Let God take you up and let Him say "Rejoice with me; for I have found my sheep which was lost." (Luke 15:5-7) Just keep repenting every time you fall into sin because such is the life of the Christian.

    Before you think about sinning, think of Christ our Beloved hanging on the Cross. I read about an Athonite Elder who was near despair from temptations from the devil but he soon saw a vision of Christ hanging on the cross and Christ looked down to him from the cross and said to the Elder, "Look how much I have endured for your love. What have you done?" After seeing this the Elder gained strength and continued to fight against his passions. When you are tempted, don't fall into despair but endure all patiently for Christ's sake since He endured everything for you. God allows the devil to tempt us so we will learn humility and learn to call upon God as for our refuge. God rejoices when we resist these temptations and but He rejoices even more when we fall and pick ourselves back up and keep on calling upon the Most High for our help. Keep enduring patiently and God will send His grace and you will soon resist these temptations. When you resist, it will get harder and harder but you have to endure as much as you can. When the temptation comes to you, say the Jesus Prayer since those are the most dreaded words for the enemies ears. The devil will hate you for saying the words of the prayer and he will fight you more but resist him and make him look foolish since you stand firm against him. Take as your sword the Jesus Prayer and let humility and faith be your armor and wage war against the demons who attack you. The devil hates humility and he will trick you into thinking that you are strong and that it is by your power that you are resisting his temptations but don't be fooled since God is the One who is allowing you to resist the devils assaults. Once God sees you puffed up with pride, He will withdraw His grace and you will fall.

    It is a hard temptation to fight against but when you run to God with faith, humility, fear, and love then He will deliver you. To quote a contemporary Romanian Elder, Elder Proclus, "The proud man falls into fornication and the Holy Spirit abandons him." You see, we have to have humility to be able to fight passions like this since many times, sins of the flesh come from pride. We are prideful so we fall into sins of the flesh such as fornication and masturbation. If you banish pride from yourself then the sins of the flesh will go to.
  • Alhan is the arabic word for hymns
  • pray asking God to lift the sin from you because only he can, read the Bible and search for verses that will help you fight this sin, never loose hope that God delivers in the right time he will save you from this...whenever you fall run back to God and repent so that you are continuously forgiven and ask for the intercession of the saints and their protection...don't expect a quick fix because as it took you steps to walk into this sin it also takes steps to take you out and believe it or not God is already working to remove it
  • [quote author=thebiggest sinner link=topic=8272.msg105553#msg105553 date=1250636979]
    I joined this website because i was told that this website has very helpful members


    Everybody has a sin they are struggling with mine is pornagraphy and masturbation

    I am sorry if i disturbed anyone but please help it has become a sin that i don't think i can fight anymore

    i really need help

    Please pray for me


    Hi.

    May I suggest something for you?

    I know,as a man, that women are very attractive. God allowed us to be attracted to the opposite sex. I think this is God given. However, everything that God gave us has the potential to be corrupted - and pornography corrupts this.

    If you wish to never look at porn again, can I invite you to do something?

    Read the story of Shelly Luben. She was a porn star. I don't think she knew God when she was making porn movies - well she definately was far from God at that stage. However, she did discover God at a late stage in her life, and she repented for her past. Her repentance was amazing, and she now tries to reach out to other porn stars like her to help them "see" that what they are doing is wrong.

    My suggestion to you is SO simple:

    The NEXT time you look at a porn star, or a porn movie, I want you to imagine the woman you are looking at has the potential to repent for what she is doing and regret it.

    Imagine you are looking at her BEFORE her repentance.

    Would you go and find a movie of Shelley Luben and watch it? If she regrets it?
    You will be SO sad to look at it. You will hate yourself for even taking pleasure at looking at something like this that the person who is sinnig is in GREAT pain and so far from God.

    Just try that.

    Also, the fact that porn is freely accessible means that you need to fill your time and your mind with Holy activities that will not even make you want to look at that.

    I really suggest you read her story, and keep in your mind what I'm suggesting for you: look at each woman who is involved in porn with the potential to repent and be like shelley. You can be part of her repentance by not looking, or be part of her self-destruction by participating in it.
  • [quote author=jydeacon link=topic=8272.msg105621#msg105621 date=1250821024]
    Alhan is the arabic word for hymns


    Ah, thank you.
  • we should return to God *completely*, and be glad in our return and have no regret in leaving this evil sin behind

    http://www.copticpope.org/modules.php?name=Web_Links&l_op=visit&lid=30
  • Hi
    This my first time writing in a blog, but I have some things which I do think may be helpful to you.
    First of all one reason for these things is because, prayer, holy communion and closeness to god are the walls the protects us from this world and if those walls weaken then yes it is easy to fall into all kinds of sins. I am sure that this is well known by everyone of us but honestly it is the foundation we have to rely upon.
    As for what you can do to avert yourself I know that reading the books and especially the bible are important and helpful and also if you can try to excercise or play some sports I think that will help you take time off these thoughts.
    If you can also, confess often, as I personally believe that confession is key. This is because without it I feel that I cannot change and if you are never cleaned it will feel like that sin is never lifted, but after confession it makes you feel as though you do not want to sin again.
    I really hope that helps you and I hope that you will pray for me in my life and it's troubles.

    Alexander
  • Hey bro im going through the same sin, but im almost out. Here is how i did it, i played a lot of xbox and kept myself busy and whenever i went to the bathroom i would look at the wall and never look down at the area. Also i would sing something like shere ne or any alhan i could memorize; and since i have the iphone it was even worse so i would always leave it downstairs and never bring it to the bathroom. i would also think to myself if i can do this infront of GOD AND ALL HIS ANGELS why am i so embarrassed to do it in front of my friends? But if worse came to worse and i did it, i would always confess as soon as possible, but if i did it again i would count how many times i did it after the last confession. Another way i heard from this one abouna i forgot his name, but he said that this son told his dad that i have a problem with cursing and i want to stop....so the dad told him okay whenever you curse go to the back yard and hammer a nail into the fence. So the boy did this and at first he started with ten, then went down to five, and so on untill he reached zero. He told his father and he said okay now that you are done every day that you go without cursing you can take out ONE nail. So the boy did this untill he took out every single nail in the fence. The dad went out and said now you have controlled the sin but look at the fence there are still the scars from the nails. -So to wrap it up you can try this method because it works for sure.

    im going through the same sin man but we both can make it through together
  • Great post, deaconmark123 :).  Yes! “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." Philippians 4:13
    May God lead both of you in your ways and strengthen your hearts :).
  • [quote author=deaconmark123 link=topic=8272.msg105933#msg105933 date=1251820528]
    so the dad told him okay whenever you curse go to the back yard and hammer a nail into the fence. So the boy did this and at first he started with ten, then went down to five, and so on untill he reached zero. He told his father and he said okay now that you are done every day that you go without cursing you can take out ONE nail. So the boy did this untill he took out every single nail in the fence. The dad went out and said now you have controlled the sin but look at the fence there are still the scars from the nails. -So to wrap it up you can try this method because it works for sure.

    im going through the same sin man but we both can make it through together

    1. how did the number of nails DECREASE from 10 to 5 until he reached zero if his dad told him TO HAMMER a nail into the fence?
    2. how did he later TAKE out one nail if there were zero nails on the fence?
    3. couldnt he paint it or buy a new fence  ;D

    lmao im confused

    -----
    by buy bye BY THE WAY! did you confess to your priest about this sin? gosh that must be embarrasing... you could always write it down before hand and then show him it
  • [quote author=sodr2 link=topic=8272.msg105957#msg105957 date=1251931702]

    1. how did the number of nails DECREASE from 10 to 5 until he reached zero if his dad told him TO HAMMER a nail into the fence? Every time he swore he put one nail in the fence, so in the beginning he swore a lot so he put 10 but overtime he started doing it less so 5 then he completely stopped so he put in no more.
    2. how did he later TAKE out one nail if there were zero nails on the fence? There were all the nails he put in for every swear he said.

  • 1. how did the number of nails DECREASE from 10 to 5 until he reached zero if his dad told him TO HAMMER a nail into the fence?
    2. how did he later TAKE out one nail if there were zero nails on the fence?
    3. couldnt he paint it or buy a new fence  Grin


    1. He gradually started to not curse
    2. He took out what he already nailed in, and if the boy did not hammer a nail into the fence that would mean he didnt curse that day
    3. no egyptian parent will do that
  • Here is another thing that may make you stop,

    There is a study that shows, men under the age of 50 who masturbate have a higher chance of developing cancer around that area.
    source: (the week magazine)

    Just remember that...not only is the devil now killing you spiritually he is slowly killing you physically! he is giving you less time to stop!

    P.S. im not tellin those over 50 its ok :P
  • [quote author=Christrules link=topic=8272.msg106299#msg106299 date=1252989661]
    Here is another thing that may make you stop,

    There is a study that shows, men under the age of 50 who masturbate have a higher chance of developing cancer around that area.
    source: (the week magazine)

    Just remember that...not only is the devil now killing you spiritually he is slowly killing you physically! he is giving you less time to stop!

    P.S. im not tellin those over 50 its ok :P

    cancer in "that area" occurs only one in 100 000, besides its known to prevent prostate cancer 
  • [quote author=thebiggest sinner link=topic=8272.msg105553#msg105553 date=1250636979]
    I joined this website because i was told that this website has very helpful members


    Everybody has a sin they are struggling with mine is pornagraphy and masturbation

    I am sorry if i disturbed anyone but please help it has become a sin that i don't think i can fight anymore

    i really need help

    Please pray for me


    Have you spoken to your FoC about this? I think its great that you've come here and tried to ask for help by the way.

    God be with you.

    Pray from the Agpeya before going to sleep. Just choose 1 Psalm. That's all.

    Also, just a small question: are living with your parents? or are u at Uni on Campus? or are you just living alone?

  • Sodr
    actually for those under 50 it Inc their chances while afte 50 it decreases it
    as quoted from the week magazine
  • Please brothers and sisters forgive me because I tried to help
    yet I myself can not stop this discusting pityful horid sin. This is impossible I keep trying and trying and trying and I just can't do it! Honestly it is true this addiction is harder to quit than any other.
  • a sermon that i heard recently and it helped me understand a lot:

    Click here and go to part 5
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