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Homecoming
Why does the Church say that you cannot go to Homecoming with a date? You aren't always guaranteed to slow dance, are you??? My parents didn't let me go this year, but they said that I am allowed to go next year if I want to. I am not sure about:
a) Going
b) If I should ask someone or not
Can someone please help me???
a) Going
b) If I should ask someone or not
Can someone please help me???
Comments
1. The dress that the girls wear causes young men to lust. This is pretty unavoidable.
2. I'm pretty sure that the Church doesn't allow 'young couples', 'boyfriends and girlfriends', etc.
It's a purely Protestant/semi-Catholic event...Catholics really shouldn't allow it.
Some may argue that it's only a 'social event', etc, but in reality, it's a very worldly, carnal, sinful evening.
to be invovled in serious relationships, go out, and be intimate.
Culturaly speaking as egyptians:
we dont acknowledge tehse types of relationships as healty in whatsoever way. They only speed up feelings that should come automaticaly with time. Also they end up leading to a not as-stable marriage, because they are soo used to changing their mates.
Spirtually speaking:
Their is no spirtual benefit in these kinds of things as mentioned before they can only lead to lust, sin, etc.
Personally speaking i dont view homecomming/prom as being completely harmful social events, but more like neutral events with a potential of disaster.
[quote author=Severus link=topic=5817.msg78034#msg78034 date=1191873604]
There are a few problems with homecoming.
1. The dress that the girls wear causes young men to lust. This is pretty unavoidable.
Oh come on. Have you seen how some girls dress in school and university? If girls in dresses causes young men to lust, then we should forbid our youth from attending school or university for the sake of not falling into temptation. Or, we should avoid walks in the park, or downtown, or avoid going to the beach because Lord knows, people will inevitably be inappropriately dressed. Seriously, this cannot possibly be a reason why Homecoming or Prom are 'inappropriate'. We will be bombarded by lust regardless of where we are. It is the most common attack of our enemy. Monks in the wilderness are faced with this temptation and they are in the middle of nowhere. So, I'm sorry, lust as an excuse for avoiding Homecoming or the Prom is just silly.
That being said, there is absolutely nothing wrong with going to Homecoming or Prom. It is an event that happens once a year where you get to look half decent, go with your friends and have a good time. Can you sin? The reality is, you can sin while you are alone in your room. If you have a good group of friends, you have nothing to fear. I have gone to Homecoming and Prom and have had a blast. I always went with a group of friends and so the idea of having a date was never an issue. You do what you think is right though. If you are not comfortable going, don't go. If you are not comfortable asking someone to be your date, then don't. If you have a good group of friends who know how to have a good time without necessarily getting plastered or high, by all means, have at it. You're only in high school once.
[coptic]+ Iryny nem `hmot>[/coptic]
[quote author=Severus link=topic=5817.msg78034#msg78034 date=1191873604]
There are a few problems with homecoming.
1. The dress that the girls wear causes young men to lust. This is pretty unavoidable.
Oh come on. Have you seen how some girls dress in school and university? If girls in dresses causes young men to lust, then we should forbid our youth from attending school or university for the sake of not falling into temptation. Or, we should avoid walks in the park, or downtown, or avoid going to the beach because Lord knows, people will inevitably be inappropriately dressed. Seriously, this cannot possibly be a reason why Homecoming or Prom are 'inappropriate'. We will be bombarded by lust regardless of where we are. It is the most common attack of our enemy. Monks in the wilderness are faced with this temptation and they are in the middle of nowhere. So, I'm sorry, lust as an excuse for avoiding Homecoming or the Prom is just silly.
That being said, there is absolutely nothing wrong with going to Homecoming or Prom. It is an event that happens once a year where you get to look half decent, go with your friends and have a good time. Can you sin? The reality is, you can sin while you are alone in your room. If you have a good group of friends, you have nothing to fear. I have gone to Homecoming and Prom and have had a blast. I always went with a group of friends and so the idea of having a date was never an issue. You do what you think is right though. If you are not comfortable going, don't go. If you are not comfortable asking someone to be your date, then don't. If you have a good group of friends who know how to have a good time without necessarily getting plastered or high, by all means, have at it. You're only in high school once.
No, I didn't mean a 'dress', as in a formal dress for school, etc. I meant that their fashion of dress at such events is too revealing, if you will. Don't deny this point; we know it all too well.
I don't know where you go to school, but in my school, girls wear shorts and shirts that really are not appropriate.
I guess if you go with a group of friends, and you were an immaculate being that could avoid looking at female areas that are 'so accessible', if you will, then it would be OK to go.
As an example, you can't tell me that you went to such events and didn't sin. And if you really didn't, GBU!
As for sinning in your room, couldn't you find something better to do on that Saturday night? Think midnight praises with some friends. It doesn't even need to be religious, you could play video games, or have dinner with said group, and so on.
[coptic]+ Iryny nem `hmot>[/coptic]
[quote author=Severus link=topic=5817.msg78034#msg78034 date=1191873604]
There are a few problems with homecoming.
1. The dress that the girls wear causes young men to lust. This is pretty unavoidable.
Oh come on. Have you seen how some girls dress in school and university? If girls in dresses causes young men to lust, then we should forbid our youth from attending school or university for the sake of not falling into temptation. Or, we should avoid walks in the park, or downtown, or avoid going to the beach because Lord knows, people will inevitably be inappropriately dressed. Seriously, this cannot possibly be a reason why Homecoming or Prom are 'inappropriate'. We will be bombarded by lust regardless of where we are. It is the most common attack of our enemy. Monks in the wilderness are faced with this temptation and they are in the middle of nowhere. So, I'm sorry, lust as an excuse for avoiding Homecoming or the Prom is just silly.
That being said, there is absolutely nothing wrong with going to Homecoming or Prom. It is an event that happens once a year where you get to look half decent, go with your friends and have a good time. Can you sin? The reality is, you can sin while you are alone in your room. If you have a good group of friends, you have nothing to fear. I have gone to Homecoming and Prom and have had a blast. I always went with a group of friends and so the idea of having a date was never an issue. You do what you think is right though. If you are not comfortable going, don't go. If you are not comfortable asking someone to be your date, then don't. If you have a good group of friends who know how to have a good time without necessarily getting plastered or high, by all means, have at it. You're only in high school once.
(By the way, I am a guy) Κηφᾶς, I have pretty good friends, but the problem is that one of them is a girl. She is probably my closest friend (aka best friend). OF course, I have my guy friends but all of this would force her to lust. Also, I care a lot about her because she is my closest friend... I can literally tell her anything and she's fine with it...She helps me out.
It's a once in a year event where you get to simply have fun. i don't understand the problem. There are many other things that you (probably) do solely for fun, and i could say can't you find something else to do to that too, but the point is to just have fun for that one day !
i was invited to a lot of homecoming -realted stuff this year, and i couldn't go to anything this year for a few reasons, but from what i heard everyone just had innoccent fun.
and about the dress thing, i mean honestly ! there has to be a boundary between self-responsibility and ect.
If you're gonna blame it on the dressing, then the only solution would be for all of us to walk around dressed from head to toe with a mask on too...oh wait..that's aka muslim !
like i was reading this one article by abouna something...and he was saying how horrible our weddings were becoming and have the article was blaming how WOMEN dressed for weddings. i mean COME ON! that seriously phased me.
honestly that's a pathetic excuse.
- Can you take Jesus alonng?
- your intensions
- the nature of your relationship with this girl
- what you're parents say
- if you know the atmosphere of the night will be desctructive, which really depends on your school friends...
- can't think of anything else right now, but there's heaps of other stuff....
Anyway, the point I'm trying to make is this. Essentially, I don't think there's anything wrong with it.. but, there's always a but, I suggest you speak to your Father of Confession, since he knows you best and will help you make the right decision..
Just be yourself and do what you have to do.
Just stay away from sin and everything will be well!!
btw, Dancing is a sin right??
No dancing is not a sin, its the way you dance that can cause others to sin therefore making you sin, if you are dancing dirty then you are provoking lustful thoughts in others which may cause them to stumble which then in turn is a sin on your part
I could have sworn I read somewhere in the Bible that dancing is a sin.
But ofcourse dancing for God isn't a sin.
I'll try to find the passage and share it with you all.
Dancing could lead to stronger feelings (no, I don't mean bodily), which leads to dating, and so on from there. It just isn't a good situation to get into.
I guess that Abouna clarified it then copticcross ;)
I'm for real I read somewhere in the Bible it is a sin. I will definately look for it tonight and share it here.
Bye!
the thing is you have to be able to tell God that while you were there you didn't look at a women and lust for her in your heart.. but if you think you have that kind of self control, than go...
any to the person who said oo girls dress inappropriately in school and university.. ok i agree with you, but they dress EVEN MORE tempting in daces and stuff... if you see a girl in a tight shine dress, im sure you would lust for her more than a girl in normal "inappropriate" clothe.
normal inappropriate clothe?? haha...wow...we livve in some sad timess..:p
Again, this is just my opinion based on what I know about the Church. Ultimately, it's up to you.
you know...don't kill anyone...don't lie...dont uh. you know...ect.
going with a date is kinda tough
1) it's a hassel that's gonna tie you up all night
2) like severus said, "it can potentially lead to ruin"
3) you're stuck with one person
so..yeah...if you go..just have innocent fun and good intentions !!!
also...i don't see any reason to not dance. there's no point to going to sit there like you're crippled..i mean sitting there and watching others dance can be even worse then dancingg.
[quote author=Severus link=topic=5817.msg78047#msg78047 date=1191882356]
No, I didn't mean a 'dress', as in a formal dress for school, etc. I meant that their fashion of dress at such events is too revealing, if you will. Don't deny this point; we know it all too well.
I don't know where you go to school, but in my school, girls wear shorts and shirts that really are not appropriate.
It seems to me that your reading comprehension is, for lack of a better word, lacking. Everything you have said, I have already said. The 'fashion' of 'dress' at the prom/homecoming is no more or less revealing then the clothes that some girls wear at school and university. The point I was trying to make (which seems to have been lost on you) is that since you suggest not going to the prom/homecoming because girls wear things that are so 'revealing', I took your statement and ran it to it's logical conclusion, that is to say, we should forbid our youth from going to school or university because the clothing some people wear are just so 'revealing'.
[quote author=Severus link=topic=5817.msg78047#msg78047 date=1191882356]
I guess if you go with a group of friends, and you were an immaculate being that could avoid looking at female areas that are 'so accessible', if you will, then it would be OK to go.
As an example, you can't tell me that you went to such events and didn't sin. And if you really didn't, GBU!
What you imply here is certainly disrespectful. In point of fact, I was an immaculate being and was able to look at certain 'female areas that [were] "so accessible"' without falling into temptation. I don't think it is such a difficult feat, unless you are rather weak in your faith and the slightest sight will cause you to stumble. So yes, I was able to go to such events (on a couple of occasions no less) and not sin. Once again, seeing as how in school and university you will be 'seeing' these areas on a fairly regular basis, it certainly would be pathetic if you couldn't control your hormones.
[quote author=Severus link=topic=5817.msg78047#msg78047 date=1191882356]
As for sinning in your room, couldn't you find something better to do on that Saturday night? Think midnight praises with some friends. It doesn't even need to be religious, you could play video games, or have dinner with said group, and so on.
So doing Tasbeha means you won't sin? Oh come off it. You could be standing in the middle of the liturgy, serving as a deacon in the altar, and still sin. Location and events do not cause a person to sin. The person causes his or herself to sin.
[quote author=aem581 link=topic=5817.msg78048#msg78048 date=1191882430]
(By the way, I am a guy) Κηφᾶς, I have pretty good friends, but the problem is that one of them is a girl. She is probably my closest friend (aka best friend). OF course, I have my guy friends but all of this would force her to lust. Also, I care a lot about her because she is my closest friend... I can literally tell her anything and she's fine with it...She helps me out.
Seeing as how your name is Andrew, I figured you were a guy. ;)
My best friend in high school was also a girl, and while it is certainly noble for you to want to protect her, the reality is, you can't. She is old enough to come to an informed decision herself. As for you being worried that this event would 'force her to lust', let me put your mind at ease. There is no such thing as 'forcing' a person to lust. A person freely chooses to embrace lust or reject it. Once again, the best suggestion would be to go out as a large group of friends and enjoy the night together. You'll have a blast that way.
I definetly did not mean any disrespect...this comment took me by surprise...
As for reading comprehension...I wasn't able to connect your arguments; forgive me for that.
Anyway, it seems that you and I strongly disagree in many things. I think that I'll stop posting anywhere you post, to avoid further such conflicts.
Fair enough. I apologize to you for coming across as strongly as I did. It's just, to make a statement like that (i.e. 'don't go because you will fall into lust') is not a valid reason, in my opinion, for the reasons I have presented. I hope you are able to see what I was trying to get at. We are constantly bombarded by images that can (and sometimes do) result in us falling into lust. But to isolate homecoming/prom as a breeding ground for this particular temptation is, in my opinion, naive. The Devil is always on a constant state of attack, and we are just as threatened in the safety of Church as we are anywhere else. The only thing that can save us is the grace of Christ, which is showered upon us. Thus, when we firmly rely on Him, we are essentially untouchable. I'm all for disagreement. Disagreement can (and has) resulted in great discussions on these threads. I would hate to see that end as a result of all of us coming to some sort of agreement on everything. Again, my apologies for coming on so strong, but a trivialization of issues has never been something I have been a fan of. As such, I would hate for you to stop posting in threads that I happen to respond to on my account. I'm sure you are a very intelligent person who has the potential of presenting well thought out and challenging arguments. This just didn't happen to be one of them. Once again, my apologies, and in the future, I will do my best to tone down the sarcasm.
I understand your concern about revealing clothing, etc. but I must agree with Kefas on this one. From personal experience I've found that girls actually tend to dress more - not less - respectfully at these kinds of events than they would do elsewhere. So if you manage to control your senses when walking along the street, homecoming isn't exactly going to lead you into perdition.
We're not talking about night clubs where skirts often resemble belts and the only things that aren't on display are those that would get you arrested.
What I would be more concerned about is the vanity and worldliness of such events: the amount of time and money spent on what we should wear, make-up, hairstyles, whatever. But again, I think this issue of vanity is one we should adress in other aspects of daily life - almost all of which are affected by it - before singling out these infrequent events as something particularly sinful.
God bless.