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Views on Dating!!!

mike_henainmike_henain
edited December 1969 in Faith Issues
Hey Guys, I think we need to reopen that "forever closed"


WHO'S UP FOR ANOTHER SWEET 11 PAGES????


LOL!


DEFENDER!
«1

Comments

  • wfhanna1wfhanna1
    what defender was getting is that in the posting church youth going down a hill we started talking about dating in the middle and we had this converstation going on

    if still more people are inquiring about dating that means we haven't covered everything, right??


    Just a thought!

    Defender!

    -----------------------------------------------------
    no trust me weve covered EVERYTHING
    egyprincess
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    Mark423

    It isn’t an inquiry; it’s an attempt to find security for their sin. And I am DONE.

    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    well, protection for a sin is not what I am for, but sometimes people need to know where the border is??

    U know what I mean??


    Defender


    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    i know what you mean defender. And i think there is a border to dating. i know Mark and egyprincess are going to kill me and get mad at me for saying this but as long as our church doesn't put out an offical statement about dating so many different opionions (including clergy opinions) are going to come up some which are right and some which are wrong. And each side will have enough evidence to back up their side.



    wfhanna1

  • mike_henainmike_henain
    From my opinion a border has to be decided on, till now I heard a hundred diffrent opinion and it still doesn't show me where the border is!!


    Please consider that we haven't covered everything last time or I wouldn't be seeking of where the border is right now!!


    Defender!
  • PaulhPaulh
    there is no way that we can find a border from our opinions because each and every one of us has different limits and standards. some of our standards or holding hands, some are kissing...some are only limited to not having sex. how do u expect to find their limits
  • mike_henainmike_henain
    Yes but paulh, when do I sin?? I will get some opinions from the Holy Fathers and Clergy men of the Church about dating and post them too, where do u think the border is paulh, from ur opinion!


    Defender!
  • wfhanna1wfhanna1
    well i been going through this issue for a while and i had feelings for a friend from church so i went and asked my priest about dating in general and he said this as long as you are talking to that person for a specific reason which is marriage or wanting to know if that person is who you want to marry that is ok as long as you keep away from the body. Also he added NO AGE constrain on that view or idea of dating.
    So if somebody else find that my priest and i are wrong by thinking that way plz ask you priest and let us know what you and him think.
  • mike_henainmike_henain
    Here guys hope this helps, this is a question asked to H.G. Bishop Moussa:

    Sometimes I feel Pressured to have a boyfriend or a girlfriend. Is it okay to have boyfriend or a girlfriend if I don't do anything wrong?

    As H.H. Pope Shenoda II says, "Have Many boyfriends and many girlfriends" but if you couple off, you might staert clean and holy, but who can gurantee what may happen? Can you guarantee yourself, or your partner, or satan? Each day we pray, "Lead us not into temptation...." (Matt. 6:13) But by having a partner we are leading ouresleves into temptation. Let your relations be in groups from within the Church until the time finally comes for you to select your partner for marriage!


    Defender!

  • wfhanna1wfhanna1
    see you posting is good but that comes again to the question what is that age? some think you can get married when you are 19 and some 19 yrs old get married while others think when you are 30 is when to start dating so we are still in no land yet
  • marysmarys
    what is age? age is but a number... but the maturity that's associated with each number belonging to each person is what we're looking for... it's not...it really isn't about age.. but it's just the fact that RARELY ever has a teenage couple been able to make it through their psychological need to be the center of everything (seriously psychological that we become partially selfish at a young age).... it just doesn't work out when we're younger... so it's so much easier to just generalize the age group (although i understand that not all generalizations are true... this one comes strikingly close)... abouna wasn't giving you a blank check... he was just keeping the options open for when/if each person to themselves at their own time is ready.
  • wfhanna1wfhanna1
    ok so again that leaves the dating issue really very broed
  • mike_henainmike_henain
    Well I think that age varies from 19 to 30, that's probably the time when u start getting engaged
  • PaulhPaulh
    its not about age. as mary said, its about ur maturity level. its also about if your ready financially, physically, emotionally, mentally, and educationally. With MOST people, all of that doesn't come until ur a little older, but that varies. So age isn't what stops people from getting married, its the requirements.
  • wfhanna1wfhanna1
    so now we are moving from when can you date to when can you get married!! :)
  • PaulhPaulh
    yes...that is because ur only supposed to be dating if your planning to get married to that person [not forgeting the fact that u have to have the right levels of maturity and financial stability, and the guidance of your father of confession throughout all of this.
  • wfhanna1wfhanna1
    i see what you mean Paul, but "dating" somebody to know if that is the right person for you to marry or not takes a LONG time maybe a year or two or even more and if you start when you are financialy stable you might be a bit too late. I think you start when you think you are mature enough and that your parnter is mature enough too to think about engagment than marriage.
    Does that make any sense? ???
  • mike_henainmike_henain
    I kinda agree with wfhanna1 because you can start dating in university and get married after both of u r done, but if you wanna date when u start working.... That's kinda too late, esp. if you go to a good university and study for a lot of years.



    Defender!
  • marysmarys
    the period before marraige to see if this person is right for you is what we know and love as the word called Engagement... contrary to popular belief... this is not binding... engagments are broken up allll the time... but to the western world it's seen as just a period between dating and marriage.. which it isn't... the engagement period IS when you're supposed to figure out if this is the person you want to spend the rest of your life with... what does it mean "too late"? too late to what exactly? you're ready whenever you're ready... you can't be late since there isn't a time scheme... this isn't an appointment you can be late for...
  • mike_henainmike_henain
    What I mean is u don't wanna start dating when ur like 35-40


    Defender!
  • marysmarys
    if it takes you until you're 35 or 40 to be ready... then it doesn't matter.... age means notthiinnggg
  • mike_henainmike_henain
    Ok, but what is the start point, because if age means nothing then even 12 year old guys could date!

    U know what I mean??


    Defender!
  • marysmarys
    you know what... if you're ready financially,emotionally,physically, and spiritually.... then fine... but you most prob won't be.
  • Mark423Mark423
    No, we don’t know what you mean. Saying that a 12 year old can seek a relationship is irrational. Is he going to bring in his significant other to his parents house and watch cartoons? When a person is stable then they can seek somebody to marry, that does not happen when your 12.
  • mike_henainmike_henain
    hey hey, don't get mad, we are having this discussion just to decide the limits, not to fight with each other!!!

  • Mark423Mark423
    Decide limits to what? We’ve already established that engagement would be the proper route and it took 11 pages of redundant comments to do so. This thread serves no purpose considering this is a topic that we’ve already discussed and came to some type of consensus about. Exactly what type of “limits” are you talking about?
  • PaulhPaulh
    Defender
    i understand where you are coming from. But i disagree but u also lead me to a question.

    first of all, as mary said dating is the time to get to know eachother, and keep it real, ur not gonna get engaged to somebody u don't know at all. your gonna get engaged to somebody that u knew for a while and want to get closer to. Then u can get engaged, and the limit for engagement is 15 years as i last checked [i'm not sure if it's changed or not, if it is then somebody please correct me], so you have plenty of time to get to know the person.

    wfhanna1, u said

    I think you start when you think you are mature enough and that your parnter is mature enough too to think about engagment than marriage.

    .

    how do you know when your mature or not? The devil plays with our heads all the time just to get us to do what he wants. how do u know if ur really mature? just to save time, if anybody is going to say u know ur mature by the way people talk about u, then trust me, ur completely wrong. honostly, people talk about me good in church, but i know for myself that i'm not livin up to the things that the people are saying, and people are getting a completely wrong impression of me and they think that i'ma little perfect mature angel, when i'm really not, so people's opinions' aren't what decides if ur mature either.
  • marysmarys
    which leads me to repeat... that's why abouna should be a part of the whole process... he's much wiser and he's got a connection to a higher authority that we will never understand... if you're questioning ur maturity..that's natural... but take into effect that abouna knows a lot more from personal experiences with other couples then we can ever hope to assume the knowledge of...
  • mike_henainmike_henain
    Umm, thanks for ur reply paulh, but I never made that quote, I think!!!


    Anyways, if you guyz want to end this topic, it's fine with me, but don't get so annoyed and mad!!


    Defender!
  • Unknown
    u guys are beating the dead horse... in fact, it's probably screaming out from its grave right now
    Defender! if u've read the other views on dating thread... u wont have to ask these questions
    cause as a matter of fact, dating is not wrong, but its pointless and temptful and has no purpose unless ur ready
    and u'll know when ur ready when u reach that age, until then, ur just physically mature, possibly even mentally, but not emotionally
    so please read the other thread before we make this another 11 pages... cause i dont think any of us wanna really go through that again.. :-\ :-[
  • PaulhPaulh
    forgive me defender..it was wfhanna1 that made that posts. sorry about that
  • mike_henainmike_henain
    Ok, I did read the other thread but sometimes some stuff don't make sense, plus, if you wanna post then go ahead but if you don't then don't...



    Gosh!


    Defender!
  • marysmarys
    it's quite alright... if you're looking for clarification then i think it would be helpful to be more specific because to those who posted on those 11 pages it seems to be that they're just repeating everything. if you could come up with a more specific question then i'm sure we'd all be more than willing to reply...
    -mary
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