Suiciding Mission

Hello everyone
I wanna share with you my thoughts, maybe you can help
I am 25 Male, Engineer
I have bad thoughts about killing myself for a long time
I know this is a sin, and my life is not my own but it's God's own
And i know also that who kills himself doesn't go to heaven
And many of the dead now want only one single minute from my life to repent
I know that many people in the world wants just half of what God gave me from everything, health, money, time ....etc
I know i am not thankful for all things i have, and for letting me alive until this moment i've written those words
And my parents will suffer very much after doing that madness
I know this is from the devil
Unfortunately I know almost most of things and despite i wanna do it

Notice: i pray, i go to church and i confess regularly, i am even a deacon and i know many hymns

I was or i think i am still bad guy, i have done many bad things in my life and still doing, i have no actual friends.
Notice: i don't need someone to talk to.
And the important thing that i don't blame God for any, it's me who bad is.

Thank you for your time to read all these.
You are a good community, i've registered to write this post.
Many Thanks for help in advance.


  • edited June 2015

    Please call a physician immediately.  You need medical attention.  Part of your suicidal thoughts is connected to clinical depression, which clearly you have.  But depression can be treated.  Please please please see a doctor ASAP.  There is still hope.
  • I don't know where you live, but if in America, please call 1 (800) 273-8255; It's the National Suicide Hotline (open 24/7).
  • "Notice: i don't need someone to talk to."

    I understand. However, a doctor WILL be able to help you adjust the way you think so you no longer have these thoughts.
  • I understand that you said you don't need someone to talk to. But the feelings you have need to be changed because they are unhealthy. These are common problems, many people experience this and there is help available. You have done just the right thing by recognising the are taking the first step.

    This can happen to and does happen to people from all walks of life; rich and poor, single and married, men and women, any age group. No one is here to tell you that you shouldn't feel the way you do because you have a lot to be thankful for. We all have lots of things to be thankful for, but when we get ill...we are trapped in a dark place where nothing seems of value.

    Sometimes this can all be due to chemical imbalances in the brain. Usually, it's a combination of factors. Please try to stay clear from alcohol and any recreational drugs because they will worsen these problems.

    Feelings of guilt and worthlessness are not to be confused with feelings of regret that lead to repentance. Guilt, hopelessness and worthlessness are from the devil, they are one of many ways to break people down, they are destructive thoughts that don't help people improve, these feelings cause you to progressively get worse until you reach a breaking point.

    There are mental exercises to help by distracting you from these thoughts. Cognitive behaviour therapy makes you challenge negative thoughts and stop them. If low mood is a problem, there is medication that you can take for a little while until you feel better.

    Make sure you keep busy and continue all your regular daily activities..e.g. Work, exercise, personal hygiene.

    How is your sleep and energy levels? Are you eating well? Are you able to concentrate at work? Do you enjoy hobbies/activities that you used to before? Have you lost interest in everything? any problems with these are part of depression.

    You can be surrounded by lots of family and friends and still feel very lonely. Many people do not understand why someone can be depressed or what that might feel like. But finding someone who understands and has experience with this is life changing!

    You are not alone in how you feel
  • Khdma, please let us know how you're doing!
  • Quote from kenonia:

    There's nothing harder than harming yourself. Getting away from God harms the soul and hurts it. The sin always leaves the person bloody, wounded and that he will harm himself by surrendering to the negative thoughts as fear, despair, doubt, mistrust, sadness, etc...and the result will be depression and losing hope, although God wants us to be in the best figure, as He created us in His same figure and just like Him. Also, when the human deformed this figure, God didn't indure it, so went to the cross through Hell and raised with Him and made us with Him in the Heaven just to return us back to our first figure, but also a better one.
    So we mustn't surrender to any negative thoughts and not harm ourselfs, knowing that we are not ourselves, but we are for God, remembering that God loves us beyond our imagination.

    Practice + test your negative thoughts and expose them to your father of confession.

    + pray saying "oh, Lord Jesus Christ, the Son of the living God, thank you for loving me.

    My prayers also for you khdma
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