edited December 1969 in Faith Issues

i need help w/confession. for some reason i have really hard time confessing to a priest. can some on please give me some advice.

god bless


  • Why do you find it hard?
  • well

    i'm not an open person usually. and then i see the beard, and i get stiff, and i just can't tell them the confession.
  • well this might sound kinda "duh" but when i confess all i do is pretend that i'm talking with God..and God alwayz understands...if that doesn't work pretend no one is there and just pretend that your talking to ur when u exsamin ur self.....i hope that help :)
  • i've tried that a lot but, whenever i'm alone i usually write the things i'm thinking. and believe me i have tried doing that and talking instead of writing and i could feel abouna looking at me and that made me get hot and sweaty and neverse. i hope u have other tips
  • u know how u can tell ur friends anything, well i feel that mayby my relationship with my father of confession is not really all that close. do u guys think so to?

    God Bless
  • k this is an email i got from a good friend a looooooong time ago...but i think it will make its point....enjoy! i remember crying out loud because of this....


    17 year old Brian Moore was asked to write something

    about Heaven in school. It was his best essay; it

    literally stunned his class. But sadly, it was also

    his last.

    He was killed in a car accident on May 27, 1997. His

    parents pinned this essay in the living room. "I think

    God used him to make a point. I think we were meant to

    find it and make something out of it, " Mrs. Moore

    said of the essay. She and her husband want to share

    their son's vision of life after death.

    "I'm happy for Brian. I know he's in heaven. I know

    I'll see him.

    Brian's Essay: The Room...

    In that place between wakefulness and dreams, I found

    myself in the room.

    There were no distinguishing features except for the

    one wall covered with small index card files. They

    were like the ones in libraries that list titles by

    author or subject in alphabetical order. But these

    files, which stretched from floor to ceiling and

    seemingly endless in either direction, had very

    different headings. As I drew near the wall of files,

    the first to catch my attention was one that read

    "Girls I have liked." I opened it and began flipping

    through the cards. I quickly shut it, shocked to

    realize that I recognized the names written on each

    one. And then without being told, I knew exactly where

    I was.

    This lifeless room with its small files was a crude

    catalog system for my life. Here were written the

    actions of my every moment, big and small, in a

    detail my memory couldn't match. A sense of wonder and

    curiosity, coupled with horror, stirred within me as I

    began randomly opening files and exploring their

    content. Some brought joy and sweet memories; others a

    sense of shame and regret so intense that I would look

    over my shoulder to see if anyone was watching.

    A file named "Friends" was next to one marked "Friends

    I have betrayed." The titles ranged from the mundane

    to the outright weird. "Books I Have Read," "Lies I

    Have Told," "Comfort I have Given," "Jokes I Have

    Laughed at." Some were almost hilarious in their

    exactness: "Things I've yelled at my brothers."

    Others I couldn't laugh at: "Things I Have Done in My

    Anger", "Things I Have Muttered Under My Breath at My

    Parents." I never ceased to be surprised by the


    Often there were many more cards than I expected.

    Sometimes fewer than I hoped. I was overwhelmed by the

    sheer volume of the life I had lived. Could it be

    possible that I had the time in my years to fill each

    of these thousands or even millions of cards? But each

    card confirmed this truth. Each was written in my own

    handwriting. Each signed with my signature.

    When I pulled out the file marked "TV Shows I have

    watched", I realized the files grew to contain their

    contents. The cards were packed tightly, and yet

    after two or th ree yards, I hadn't found the end of

    the file. I shut it, shamed, not so much by the

    quality of shows but more by the vast time I knew that

    file represented.

    When I came to a file marked "Lustful Thoughts," I

    felt a chill run through my body. I pulled the file

    out only an inch, not willing to test its size, and

    drew out a card. I shuddered at its detailed content.

    I felt sick to think that such a moment had been

    recorded. An almost animal rage broke on me. One

    thought dominated my mind: No one must ever see these

    cards! No one must ever see this room! I have to

    destroy them!" In insane frenzy I yanked the file out.

    Its size didn't matter now. I had to empty it and burn

    the cards. But as I took it at one end and began

    pounding it on the floor, I could not dislodge a

    single card. I became desperate and pulled out a card,

    only to find it as strong as steel when I tried to

    tear it.

    Defeated and utterly helpless, I returned the file to

    its slot. Leaning my forehead against the wall, I let

    out a long, self-pitying sigh.

    And then I saw it.. The title bore "People I Have

    Shared the Gospel With." The handle was brighter than

    those around it, newer, almost unused. I pulled on

    its handle and a small box not more than three inches

    long fell into my hands. I could count the cards it

    contained on one hand.

    And then the tears came. I began to weep. Sobs so deep

    that they hurt. They started in my stomach and shook

    through me. I fell on my knees and cried. I cried out

    of shame, from the overwhelming shame of it all. The

    rows of file shelves swirled in my tear-filled eyes.

    No one must ever, ever know of this room. I must lock

    it up and hide the key. But then as I pushed away the

    tears, I saw Him.

    No, please not Him. Not here. Oh, anyone but Jesus. I

    watched helplessly as He began to open the files and

    read the cards. I couldn't bear to watch His response.

    And in the moments I could bring myself to look at His

    face, I saw a sorrow deeper than my own. He seemed to

    intuitively go to the worst boxes. Why did He have to

    read every one? Finally He turned and looked at me

    from across the room. He looked at me with pity in His

    eyes. But this was a pity that didn't anger me. I

    dropped my head, covered my face with my hands and

    began to cry again. He walked over and put His arm

    around me. He could have said so many things. But He

    didn't say a word. He just cried with me.

    Then He got up and walked back to the wall of files.

    Starting at one end of the room, He took out a file

    and, one by one, began to sign His name over mine

    on each card. "No!" I shouted rushing to Him. All I

    could find to say was "No, no," as I pulled the card

    from Him. His name shouldn't be on these cards. But

    there it was, written in red so rich, so dark, so

    alive. The name of Jesus covered mine. It was written

    with His blood. He gently took the card back. He

    smiled a sad smile and began to sign the cards. I

    don't think I'll ever understand how He did it so

    quickly, but the next instant it seemed I heard Him

    close the last file and walk back to my side.

    He placed His hand on my shoulder and said, "It is

    finished." I stood up, and He led me out of the room.

    There was no lock on its door. There were still cards

    to be written.

    "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens

    me."-Phil. 4:13

    "For God so loved the world that He gave His only son,

    that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have

    eternal life."

    If you feel the same way forward it to

    as many people as you can so the love of Jesus will

    touch their lives also. My "People I shared the gospel

    with" file just got bigger, how about yours?

    You don't have to share this with anybody, no one will

    know whether you did or not, but you will know and so

    will He.
  • so point being, when i read that....i felt much was being done for me...and that confession is a chance given to me to save myself, so why not take it!
  • and i could feel abouna looking at me and that made me get hot and sweaty and neverse.

    Well, it seems that you're not approaching this correctly. We are not confessing our sins to abouna in actuality, but rather to the Holy Spirit, and the priest has the authority from Christ to do this – but it seems you cannot grasp this, for you're being over-conscious about what Abouna thinks, as if he is there to judge your person. I think the best way to get over this is to tell him straight out that you're having trouble with confession, and he will talk it out with you and you'll feel much more comfortable. Its important to get everything out during confession, for the priest is not only there to hear you confess your sins before God as Christ's agent, but also to guide and advise you, by the power of the Holy Spirit, so that you may truly repent of these sins, and improve your spiritual life. Just remember, that these feelings you're experiencing at the moment, are coming from satan himself, who doesnt want you to confess your sins, nor does he want abouna to give you advice. Satan thus gives you the urge to shy away from telling abouna, so that he doesnt have the opportunity, to give you that heavenly God inspired advice. Thats how the devil loses business.

    Keep these things in mind, and talk it out with your father of confession – be open with him, you need that sort of relationship in order for him to be effective in helping you out. Sorry, im not a great help in this area.
  • thanx
    i really appriacate it. that was a very deep and powereful essay.and i feel that it has made an impact on me. but i also have trouble with stopping myself when i sin.
    For example when i'm watching something bad, i know that should stop and never do it again, and repent and confess, but for some reason i feel powerless, i'm unable to stop.
    please help
  • yea i was definitely moved by that i felt the need for others to also profit from it, which i hope it does!
  • umm and about ur comment...
    "when i'm watching something bad, i know that should stop and never do it again, and repent and confess, but for some reason i feel powerless, i'm unable to stop. "
    well, i was told one day in sunday school that if you wanna stop sinning, you have to hate the sin first. and if u dont hate the sin, then there's no way you can get urself out of it. SO, you gotta start by hating whatever it is that you do that brings you away from God.
    i'm only relaying the message :)
  • sorry my advise didn't help much....maybe this will...ok this might sound dumb but b4 u confess...(sorta like b4 u take ur school picture) practise confessing..find a quit part of the house where no one is around and just :)
  • Dany, actually the book "Characteristics of Orthodox teaching" talks about that. It actually gives two conditions, being convinced of its dangers, and being filled spiritualy so that you are ABLE to depise it. "A satisfied soul loathes the honeycomb" Pr. 27:7

    About confession, I personally forced myself and I was quite surprised how understanding abouna was and I'm sure you will be also. Pray that God may grant you the strength to confess. God bless.
  • I completely agree with you actually, and i really like the verse!
    About the abouna understanding, it's really shocking how understanding they are, u can tell them anything and theyll be ok with it really
  • im not sure if this was mentioned before...
    but if you feel slightly uncomfortable verbally telling ur sins to abouna, you can write them down on a sheet of paper and give it to him. ive known a few ppl who do that, write everything they want to confess on paper, give it to him, he reads it, gives advice/spiritual excersize and then prays the absolution.

    this could be a start perhaps until you're more comfortable with revealing ur sins to him.

    btw.... really really awesome stroy.... :)

    take care and God bless
  • hi
    it's me again
    it's not like i like to sin, but u know when, for example u c a movie that's rated PG-13, because something inapporpriate in it but, injoyable u want more and u can't stop watching it
  • see once again that's all going back to hating the have to start by FIRST realizing that it's a sin. once uve done that, u gotta start hating it cause it's bringing u away from god, and then the whole pattern of repentance/confession/communion kicks in
  • hay :) ;) :D ;D
    yes as crazycopt sed rite it down i no people lyk that umm i heard that you just rite it down then give it to abouna in the mass then its like your sins are forgiven i dunno ill chek out that more 4 ya

    neway i hope God Blesses u the way He blessed me i can say anything to abouna even if its between me i say it

    so may GBU and every1 else
    i luv u all ppl :) ;) :D ;D :-*
    pray 4 me plz

    +sing a new song to the Lord :) ;) :D ;D+
  • Hi
    thanx for everything guys.i really appricait ur help and i will try to do everything u guys have mentioned. i would also appriciat more advice u have any.

    God Bless
  • I know how you feel man, We are all so ashamed when we go to talk to our father of confession (that is a good thing because you start to realize that what your doing is wrong) but don't let that shame stop you.
    Another Idea is to maybe find another Father of confession. Someone who draws that information out from you. I think it is easier for us to answer than to make statments, and after a while you will be more comfortable with him.
    Just my 2 cents
  • hey Dany. GREATTT STORYYY, really touchy and it made me realize and see new things.. thanks for posting it :D

    you also might consider that abouna have heard many other sins from people that are horrible, sins that are really shocking to hear! so ur sins to him are very normal, even if they seem really ashaming to you, compared with all other sins abouna hear, they are really not that bad.
    also abouna has millionnn of stuff to worry about, and 100th of confession he hears. so DON"T WORRY, HE WILL NEVER REM. UR CONFESSION!!
    i rem. sayedna Youssif once said that when they read that 7el for abounas to become an abouna, one of the stuff they say is asking God to give them the power to forget (something like that), because imagine if our abounas rem. all the confession and sins that people did, they will go crazy, it is just too much to handle!
    so i hope that helped a little ;)

    **Smile :) God Loves You**
  • [center]IT'LL ALL FEEL BETTER AFTER ABOUNA READS YOU THE ABSOLUTION... [/center] a serious load lifted off your shoulders... gotta experience it to know what m talking about, especially when its a sin you've been carrying around a long time
    ...thank God for Repentence and Confession, seriously... where would we be without it??!!!
  • hi
    i'm back

    i know wat u mean that it's a load off but for some reason when abouna lays his hand on my head i feel like he's disappointed

    God Bless
  • Dissappointed of what... the fact that you're returning to God?...Common!! ::) Plus, we repent to make God smile, not anyone else... as long as everytime you confess you walk out trying and looking for things that keep you motivated to stay on the path, then you're doing your part!! (just sum words of encouragement)...

    Really, I think it would be a SHAME if the devil can take this ABSOLUTE GIFT from God (confession), this tool thats acts as a bridge from us to God and use it to make us feel bad and dissappointed and ultimately use it for his advantage in the cause of keeping us away from God.... IT WOULD BE SUCH A lets ALL make sure that DOESNT happen

    "Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed." James 5:16

    We'll pray for u and u confess :D just never stop confessing and getting up again.... even the most "saintly" of us can feel exactly what you're feeling... its frustrating that as humans we often fall into the same sin but remember its better for God to come and find us struggling with sin and fighting it, then for Him to find us freely indulging in it! ...goodluck
  • hi

    good point. i really appriciat ur help. it has made me realize something very important. a priest can fall in the same sins that i fall in.(unlikely)
    i would appriciate more advice if u have any

    God Bless
  • by the way dany that was a very good essay that made me wonder how many folders i would be ashemed of, and how few the number of people i share the gospel with

    God Bless
  • Yea I think it's an awesome story, because I feel EXACTLY like u when I go up to abouna, but then this story just touched me really deeply, and now whenever I'm ashamed to go talk to abouna, I always think how ashamed I'm going to be in front of the Almighty Lord having to justify my sins...which really don't have much to justify for...i mean Jesus died for me and payed a HUGE price for me, and what do i do? i get blown away by the simplest most pathetic things in this's kinda sad when I think about it...but it's really what it comes down to in the end...
    SOOOO, id much rather have to tell an abouna, who is human just like me and doesn't judge me than stand in front of God on that last day and actually be judged for real and pay the price myself....
    come to think about it...i haven't confessed in a while!! thanks for reminding me :) definitely gotta get crackin on it!
  • i am one of those people who writes everything down, even if its a random thought, its just that i express myself better when i write things down, i am sooo forgettful, so i write my sins down, when i look bakc that them , i remeber to tell abouna you know! and whn i go in there and there is something i just cant bring my self to say, i ask him to read it..u know he has stopped waiting for me to talk, he just asks for the paper reads it gives me advice and then prays the absoulution, its the best part of my week confession, its like u know u did this wrong, but God has forgiven he has forgoton do not stray and follow the right way, thats really what confession is!...its like when u hid somethin from ur mom like a bad mark, and then u tell her, its like i dunt have to worry about it anymore, no moe hideing it or covering it up, and then u dunt wanna do it anymore cause it takes alot out of u ( humm i think it makes some sense :)
  • definitely makes a ton of sense :)
  • I am a newbie here, and i was browsing this forum, (BTW: it is really awesome) I wish that we can all spread the word about this forum, or if there's a larger forum that the country participates in)

    back to the topic at hand..

    I had the blessings of driving his grace Anba Youssef to the airport one time and i took the oppurtunity to ask him: how to overcome a sin/addiction that has haunted me for many many years. I didn't confess the sin that day and untill this day i have not done so, and i regret not doing so, but this Thread as i read on has encouraged me to try writing the sin and sitting with my father of confession to try and resolve my sin.
    I thought i'd share what his grace told me about my issue.

    just like any practice or task we prepare for, we begin by preparing one step at a time.
    What you can try doing is try to give up that which you are afraid to confess, for a week, and then two weeks and so on and so forth untill you realize that you have overcome that which you struggled with. I myself had tried this method and it worked for a short period of time, but because i didn't confess the sin, i found myself back at the beginning.

    Please pray for me and God bless you all...

    Chiefofsinners - good luck. and please pray for me while you are confessing...
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