• if ur good friends talk to him. maybe a guy's opinion would be helpful about this.
  • Also, make sure that you're in a comfortable environment, and that you feel comfortable and happy with all your choices.

  • This is a hard one, the issue is not so much avoiding the other sex or being in contact with them, these are side issues. The whole point of it is, if I have contact with this person, does it bring me closer to God?

    In my own life I used to avoid the opposite sex an I found the temptation just kept buidling and building and all my prayers were rejected. This was because I did what I did as a self concious act, I prayed because I was weak and lacked confidence. The idea of temptation is so as a youth you learn one very important lesson, God loves you and He is with you wherever you go and He will always protect you. Its a chance to build confidence in us to teach us how sweet life is with Him and how much He loves us.

    I personally find that I come to God all defeated and deflated and He picks me up. In God we see a reason not to be worried and afraid of what anyone thinks of us because so long as God loves us and we love God there is no awarness of any personal weakness.

    There is a desert mother called Saint Sarah, her sayings are very few and very short but her life struggle is a guide to how to be a youth. The sayings are very short and if you read them you'll find them difficult to understand but theologians have written pages on just a couple of sentances. She was always confident and self secured and the reason for this is that she knew God loved her and that was all that she needed.

    It is through creating a weakness that God is able to come and make us realise both how loving He is and how strong He is when he helps us.

    Back to the topic, I used to avoid temptation and it kept building because by avoiding the other sex I was actually avoiding God who fixes these things through submission. God is very dilligent in letting us know how futile these efforts are by letting the temptation build. When we realise we can't do it and turn to Him, He heals us and we understand that its God who saves us and we learn to love and trust Him.

    I used to avoid helping people as what I thought was humility but I found out that I should have loved because love is the fulfillment of humility.

    Yothful lusts is just a stage in our lives going back to a point I made earlier there were two ways to react to temptation:

    1) the opposite sex is an object for my pleasure
    2) the opposite sex is spiritual

    there is also a third

    3) the opposite sex is a temptation and evil

    If you do avoid, don't do it for that reason, we have to do it out of love for God, the aim of every work is unity wirh God and the core of that is submission.

    In essence (I think you all know what I'm gonna say here :) ) go and see your confession father and speak with him about it. he has probably counselled hundereds of people in your situation and has a lot of experience on how to help you through these things so you can be comfortable with God, comfortable within yourself and also comtable with others including the opposite sex.

    God bless,

  • The greatest thing a guy can do if he likes someone is not to do anything about it. Telling the girl or trying to 'pursue' her is not manly, Godly behaviour. I'm not saying hide your feelings or suppress them, but acknowledge to yourself that these are just feelings. Unless you can put love, commitment, and a ring on her finger, sorry dudes, you would be hurting that girl by doing anything else. Until you can show practically that you really like this girl and want to take it somewhere, be friends in Christ and take care of her like precious pearls.

    I know my reply comes very late but felt I would chime in.

    With regards to hugs, I don't think guys and girls should just hug spontaneously and doing it all the time. Between girls, I can't comment because it's how girls express their affection for eachother. Between two guys, it happens with the manly 'twist' (the hummingbird patting on eachother's backs ;)). From experience and in my view, hugs between guy-girl friendships should be given in times in comfort. That's what the hug is really about. We're embracing that person who's needing a bit of assurance, care, and somewhere safe to rest a while. Sometimes, that person may need to cry.

    You also hug a very close friend, but again you don't overdo it. You don't want to sap the beauty and power of a hug by making it as common as taking a breath. So for guys, it's best to hold off on the hugs, especially with girls who are sensitive, and be mindful of how others will interpret that hug later mentally.


  • I really like your way of thinking of things. I wish all guys thought the same way. God bless you.

  • Hey sleepy,

    Thank you for your encouraging words. Pray for me.

  • ottally with sleeppy... if all guys thought like thered be many more "perfect" guys lol... sometimes i feel like guys just dont understand anything bou realtionships.. im wrong now... u guys proved that soem guys have got brains! lol..
  • Guys with brains, do they exist ???::) lol, jk

    the problem with guys is that they follow their hormons probably to much, but it's the same for the girls i think (correct me if i'm wrong ::)). If youth would be more concerned with church matters than opposite sex, we would have more (like u name it) "perfect" youth.
  • lol.. i guess soo.. but i beleive guys are still alittle more hormonal... i dont know but for some reason they seem to be more obesses with the opposite sex..if not more obsessed then they at least show it alot more... but yea both deffinately follow their hormones..
  • first of all boys dont react to their hormones more than girls... girls just tend to hide their reactins more but our feelings are still based on our hormones... and girls honestley, we have had so many crushes and it started since we were like in the 2nd grade... so that argument isnt valid
    also we really need to find something usefull to ocuppy our time with, whether ur a guy or girl... we are still young and we have years before we will actually decide who will be our partner... untill then we should focus on God and if we dont focus on Him now, most likey we wont chose the right person because God wont be there to help us because we pushed Him out... im not saying we wont have crushes until we find the perfect person but we must always be on guard and make sure that nothing occupies our mind and heart and time more than God.... if God isnt number 1 in your life wen u r single it is almost guarenteed that he wont be in ur life in the future... God gave us this time to build a relationship with him.. dont waist it
    and another thing... i always tell my mom who i had a crush on and she doesnt take it seriously and everytime she tells me same thing, "Demiana, ur still young... ur gunna like anyone who has a pulse now but wen ur 22 ur gunna laugh at all this and wat u see as a perfect man will be totally different in the future." I'm 18 now and most of the people on this site r younger than that... so focus on whats important now and that should be ur relationship wit God
    God Bless
  • It's not that Egyptians don't want them to be friends, they just believe that if a guy and a gurl are together then things are going on between them. They even do it in the U.S. My friend was walking with her cousin in the street, and someone from the church saw them and told their parents. It was such a surprise for them when they learned that the yguy and gurl were related.

  • lol. We know that it may not be true, but they believe that any two together that are of the opposite sex will use any oppurtunity that they have just to kiss or something. It's really qutie sad if you think about it...

  • It's not that they think any less you, they just assume that you're up to no good.

  • Seriously.

  • i dont really get this topic but::
    Guys rule...they cool, except some show off ones...
    guys are my bestestest ever frends.
    ((im a girl))
    girls are to sadd.....
    yey boiz are cool
    plz dont think wrong...i mean they are good frends, except some.
    ;D ;D ;D
  • guys r idiots,
    all guys r, and all guys deep down inside know that, gals dont c guys the way they really are...
    im an idiot,
    but im sure u already knew that.
    there may be rare exceptions, but theres all ways a hint of stupidity...

  • r u serious george??
    girls are not idiots but they cool too but most of them think the same and they wear fashionable clothes, they go to church to meet hot guys :o , go shopping alot, check their hair every 5mins, call there frends every hour or so, and dont really giv about hymns,tasbeha, the mass, aheya, and esp. the language COPTIC..(they hate it)....they cool, n its supposed to be like that too....but im too good for them :P
    thats y i hang wid da boiz :P
    ((it depends who obviously))
    boiz are chilled not into boyfrends n all...coz i know i can control my self...if i ever have a bad feelin bout it....i can control it and make it go im different n girls hate me...except my frends noe mee well ;D
    so bye for now...its too late
    byee ;)
  • woww... ok im confused but yea the whole automatic omg! its a guy and girl thing... its sucksss... unless you know and have seen things wiht your own two eyes you shouldnt think anytihng of two firneds of the opposite sex... i hate it wen people assume that.... >:(
  • lol... good... so me n my tasbeha twin agree on something once again! lol sleepy...
  • i knwo him i know him i know him!!! lol..
  • [quote author=ArIpSaLiN link=board=1;threadid=295;start=195#msg9042 date=1093011816]

    but most of them think the same and they wear fashionable clothes, they go to church to meet hot guys :o , go shopping alot, check their hair every 5mins, call there frends every hour or so, and dont really giv about hymns,tasbeha, the mass, aheya, and esp. the language COPTIC..(they hate it)....

    wow there! maybe u should know more girls before u start saying that they all think the same or that they all hate coptic. cuz that's just not true, maybe the girls at ur church, but at my church, more than half of the ppls that actually attend the church stuff are girls, and they aint lookin' for no hot guys
  • woe i said guys, as in males are idiots, not gals, i respect gals, to an extent,
    but i said guys,
    and im sure that not one guy on this site can correct me cuase theyll try and say something, but then realiaze i spea the truth, all guys have stupidity in them...
    thats a good generalisation,
    gals, u cant say anything about gals there all 2 different...
  • Stupid, in what sence ??? i dont feel i'm that stupid ::)
  • dude u dont get wat im sayn
    dont worry
    lets just say its an australian thin
    aiight ;)
  • Well, y do u make the generalisation then? ???
  • I think he was jus trying to be humble and all, but yea, I dont think all guys are idiots, many are, but not all, so dont feel bad....
  • lol, i feel much better ;D
  • ya man go back to your australia :P we here in the midwest states and people who have relatives in the midwest states ( ;) ) are NOT stupid
  • let me rephrase wat i said
    were all idiots, all of humanity are idiots wen u think about it...

    jesus came and saved us from our sin and we, me, thank him by falling to to sin, by making his death meaningless, by rejecting him, hammering nails into his heart... :(
    its not a generalisation its a fact

    us as humans r weak, we will fall, only through jesus shall we prevail...

    (ps im not saying this in a harsh, offensive way, but rather in a contemplating, loving way)
    im an idiot i admit it, whose with me :D
    maybe idiot is the wrong word
    but i think u guys know wat i mean...
  • ya man i think idiot is DEF the wrong word
    you could say sinners or weak but idiots thats just not the right word at all
Sign In or Register to comment.