Well for me it will be, take me up there with you, dont leave me here any longer.
If you are honest and open with that "friend", then perhaps these feeling won't come in if you and him/her know that you dont want anything out of this friendship, get me? So then handshakes, hugs and kisses would mean nothing more than greetings.
I mean for me when i kiss a girl (on the cheekss) (and i ususally know her well), it might as well have been, Bob, my friend, you know what i mean. As i said a million times before, what are your deep feeling for that person is and what his/her feelings for you are???
Well I think the hormons that cause you to be lustful are working 200% in my body so i wanna have the upper hand over my body even if I have to be very strict, so I stay away from touching any girl by any means, I always like staying away from temptation, and I always remember H.G. Anba Moussa's quote: [glow=red,2,300]We always pray "...Lead us not into temptation..." yet we seem to lead ourselves into temptation by dating and touching and all that....[/glow]
When you take Holy Communion, the Body and Blood of Christ, you should become a Christ-like charectar as you have united with Christ, so if your body and ur blood are of Christ's would yu want to hug or kiss someone?
I tend to think if God were standing physically nxt to me I would hug and kiss Him, afterall He is my Father. But first, I would fall at His feet, unworthy as I am. Then I would kiss Him Jesus loved holding children and when Martha was told to stop washing His feet, Christ told the disciples to stop disturbing her expression of love.
guys u cant realate this topic to God and saints, there two completely different things, i mean one is a holy spiritual experiance, and another just meetin ur mate... i dont see why huggin or kissin a member from the opposite sex is a must, keep chaste and sacrifice and struggle for God, keep all that little stuff for marriage, so itll mean something wen u get to that stage... plz dont b upset with me but i feel that the devil plants this kinda stuff in our minds, makes things appear harmless, and "ok".. i dont mean to put anyone down, or make any1 feel bad plz forgive me
lol... i think we've totally overlooked youst718's problem here! haha youst, i understand what u mean... some guys just hug u and look at u like a sister and dont mean ANYTHING by that hug, it may as well of been a handshake. right? some guys are like that... they dont mean to do it because they're 'after something' they just do it out of that brotherly love... its like i would go up to my little brother or older cousin and give them a big hug or kiss on the cheek... u get the feeling: y shouldnt my friends do it too? but i think the point here is is that if u like this guy, u will start getting feelings towards these hugs he's giving u n etc... if possible try to subsitute that hug for like a high five or a handshake or whatever... and gradually he might stop but the question id like to ask, is do these hugs bother u/annoy u, or do u enjoy them?
i guess i kinda enjoy them.. i mean its natural if i like the guy right? but they do bother me cuz he doesnt realize wat hes doing to me and because i know he means it out of pure brotherly love... and its not like he does it all the time so i cant just all of a sudden push away wen he does....you know wat i mean? its an occasional thing and i dont take it for mroe than wat it is.. it does bother me though that i cant sya anything and that i cant get myself to not think to much of it..
wait i might be missing something here so you like him but does he like you back or not? You might have mentioned that before but i missed it so please can you clear that part for me. Of course you can say something. If he really gives you those hugs out of brotherly love then def. he should understand when you tell him that you are not comfortable with those hugs and if he gets mad at you then maybe after all he is not doing them out of brotherly love.
guys i acctually have a sister, its not like i hug her that often.
in australia if anyones doin the huggin its the girls... but here, mostly guys hug other guys, they neva do that to a girl... that like outta the question.
It all depends on what you wanna do youst. If you find his presence uncomfortable, tell him. If he truly likes you as a brother and it's all brotherly love he wouldn't be happy knowing that you're feeling upset, and he would change what he's doing to make you happy. If you don't want ot say anything then try to avoid him when you can. My FOC was telling me about this before. If you wanna get away from someone be sly about it. That way, no one's feelings are hurt. Make up an excuse and LEAVE. However, it's all up to you and what you wanna do. Just rememeber that you have to be ahppy with your choice. Don't let anyone pressure you into anything. ;)
I know what you mean. My best friend is a guy too, so it can be pretty tough trying to tell them to back off. I know what you're going through, and all I can say is god be with you.
would u consider that 'funny almost pleasurable feeling' a lusty one in a sense? i mean... i can't really advise u much on this because i've been put in the same position and the only cure i found was time... time made you like this 'friend' and you know time will eventually make u treat this guy like u would any other guy friend and just like u'd hug ur cousin or ur brother, when he hugs u, it wont feel as 'pleasurable' lol not sure if im helping much here... so ill stop now lol
random comment: do u guys think we could beat the "dating" thread? were already on 10 pages. lol
anywayz, i was also in a similar situation youst. i just gotton to know a guy from school, who happen to be also coptic, and as the year went on, we were getting closer and closer. he and his freind helped me through my tough times last year, and i was really grateful for that. but, as we grew to be better friends, i found out that i was starting to get feelings for him. when i actually realized and admitted that, i talked to him less. he didnt seem to notice (a lot of guys are like that, sorry if this is insulting any of the guys :-\). even though it took a long time for my feelings to go away or i should say to subdue them, i wouldnt let anything more come out of it.
im not saying u r youst. no not at all, but seriously, friendships with the opposite sex sometimes become more. ive seen it happen, and have seen lots of close freinds end their friendship because they went out with each other and it didnt work out.
but the tihng is... its already gotten to more than friendship.. i mean i REALLY like him... ive liked him for 3 years now and his great personality n sense fo humor n sensitivity and everything istn helping.. i mean ive even asked frineds to give me some negatives to look at and it sounds kinda corny but we realized hes probably the closest-to-perfect guy... i mean hes just amazing... and no.. the feeligns arnt lustful because ive coem to realize that i dotn care about anytihng mroe than his happiness... i just want him to be happy.. its almost like he runs my feelings... i dont know.. and ive been trying really hard not to dwell n him..its actually working pretty welll.. i mean its not 24-7 thoughts anymore.. but i have to keep myself occupied or ill start wandering off into space about him.. i think its gettin better but hes still there... i knwo its nto easy to get rid of these feelings and thats why im not asking for a direct answer... everyones different i jsut want to hear all of your tohuhgts about it.. maybe some of it can help me.. i mean ive laready realized n learned so much form your comments but in different situations id liek to hear wat uve all been throught if its similar... thank yous o much and God Bless...
Youst, I'm really proud of you. Not many people can be in the same situation and make the same choices. That's a very smart choice you made. God bless you, and keep up the good work! ;)
Oh great, now I sound like some middle school teacher......sorry....lol. :)
I recommend that if you want to know how or what your feeling or thinking you speak with your FOC. When monks start out they don't do this kind of thing themselves so we shouldn't either.
i know ill probably get killed and attacked for this but in this situation, FOC arent really helpful. im not saying don't go to them or anything, im just stating something thats happenned to me and other people i know.
this could only be beaten by sever will, determination, and prayer. And most of all, the help of God.
Comments
Well for me it will be, take me up there with you, dont leave me here any longer.
If you are honest and open with that "friend", then perhaps these feeling won't come in if you and him/her know that you dont want anything out of this friendship, get me? So then handshakes, hugs and kisses would mean nothing more than greetings.
I mean for me when i kiss a girl (on the cheekss) (and i ususally know her well), it might as well have been, Bob, my friend, you know what i mean. As i said a million times before, what are your deep feeling for that person is and what his/her feelings for you are???
peace ;)
Defender
When you take Holy Communion, the Body and Blood of Christ, you should become a Christ-like charectar as you have united with Christ, so if your body and ur blood are of Christ's would yu want to hug or kiss someone?
Defender
i dont see why huggin or kissin a member from the opposite sex is a must, keep chaste and sacrifice and struggle for God, keep all that little stuff for marriage, so itll mean something wen u get to that stage...
plz dont b upset with me but i feel that the devil plants this kinda stuff in our minds, makes things appear harmless, and "ok"..
i dont mean to put anyone down, or make any1 feel bad
plz forgive me
youst, i understand what u mean... some guys just hug u and look at u like a sister and dont mean ANYTHING by that hug, it may as well of been a handshake. right?
some guys are like that... they dont mean to do it because they're 'after something' they just do it out of that brotherly love... its like i would go up to my little brother or older cousin and give them a big hug or kiss on the cheek... u get the feeling: y shouldnt my friends do it too?
but i think the point here is is that if u like this guy, u will start getting feelings towards these hugs he's giving u n etc... if possible try to subsitute that hug for like a high five or a handshake or whatever... and gradually he might stop
but the question id like to ask, is do these hugs bother u/annoy u, or do u enjoy them?
Of course you can say something. If he really gives you those hugs out of brotherly love then def. he should understand when you tell him that you are not comfortable with those hugs and if he gets mad at you then maybe after all he is not doing them out of brotherly love.
1.I'de think she's weird
2. I would defienitly know that she likes me or else how could she be 'disturbed' by the hugs?
defender
in australia if anyones doin the huggin its the girls...
but here, mostly guys hug other guys, they neva do that to a girl... that like outta the question.
(austraia that is)
sleepy
sleepy
Defender
cause I don't
sleepy
Defender
sleepy
i mean... i can't really advise u much on this because i've been put in the same position and the only cure i found was time... time made you like this 'friend' and you know time will eventually make u treat this guy like u would any other guy friend
and just like u'd hug ur cousin or ur brother, when he hugs u, it wont feel as 'pleasurable' lol
not sure if im helping much here... so ill stop now lol
anywayz, i was also in a similar situation youst. i just gotton to know a guy from school, who happen to be also coptic, and as the year went on, we were getting closer and closer. he and his freind helped me through my tough times last year, and i was really grateful for that. but, as we grew to be better friends, i found out that i was starting to get feelings for him. when i actually realized and admitted that, i talked to him less. he didnt seem to notice (a lot of guys are like that, sorry if this is insulting any of the guys :-\). even though it took a long time for my feelings to go away or i should say to subdue them, i wouldnt let anything more come out of it.
im not saying u r youst. no not at all, but seriously, friendships with the opposite sex sometimes become more. ive seen it happen, and have seen lots of close freinds end their friendship because they went out with each other and it didnt work out.
sorry i babbled to much. hope this helped
Oh great, now I sound like some middle school teacher......sorry....lol. :)
sleepy
sleepy
I recommend that if you want to know how or what your feeling or thinking you speak with your FOC. When monks start out they don't do this kind of thing themselves so we shouldn't either.
God bless,
CS
this could only be beaten by sever will, determination, and prayer. And most of all, the help of God.