do i start preparing myself for a life of pain and suffering?

edited December 1969 in Personal Issues
if you're depressed stop reading now lol

if i think that my life is not quite 'happy' i dont mean: oh god's not there he doesnt care

i just mean like my normal life has too many ordinary problems and as far as i'm concerned i cannot see these problems improving in the future..i dont mean next week i mean in 10 years time...

does that mean my life will always have these sufferings and i shouldn't raise my hopes so much for a better life HERE on earth and just hope that (please) i'll be happier in HEAVEN?

if anybody has had a difficult life and problems that can't be solved overnight and they think when they grew older they succeeded in taking control of where their life is going (im not talking about spiritual life here) and they managed to make their lives of better quality please say. tell me if you can or have actually achieved your hopes and dreams through hard work even if most things were going in the opposite direction.

could it be just god's will that my life is not enjoyable here? i mean a lot of people we hear about around us live terrible lives and suffer to death and never see happy days (im not THAT bad..im not self pitying...)

thanks in advance for your replies

Comments

  • it's difficult to seperate spiritual life from normal life, since I believe that when you have a good spiritual life that this reflects on your normal life also
    I mean if you know God is with you, then all your everyday (non spiritual) problems should kind of dissappear and fade away or become so small and insignificant...
    If you know and believe that God is with you then your happiness won't depend on your outside life but on your inner peace which you obtain from having a good relationship with God. (this is something our pope has said when asked on the troubles he goes through)
    I can tell you that I have been in a bad place in my life (both spiritually and 'normally') doing pretty bad at school, hanging out with bad people, feeling unhappy for so many reasons, mostly when life doesn't go your way... I can tell you the school and friends part is better now, yet there are still soooo many things about my life that CAN solve your problems no matter how big. Know that your life is in His hands and He knows what u feel and what you're going through, but maybe He just wants you to grow..

    God Bless
    Please pray for me
  • what if the bad time yo go through is not your fault and it is not in your hand? i feel i have absolutely no power of taking control of my life...
    i know being spiritual and close to god makes you like you're in heaven..hence thats what saints did..it doesnt mean im that spiritual but i am talking about to ''physically'' if thats the word make the problems better...it is not wrong to think about enjoying life (with boundaries of course) what i see is that i would never be able to actually enjoy my life..in other words..i don't like my life..!
  • It is completely out of your hands and it's not your fault as you said, so here's where God comes in... He allowed whatever this is to come upon you and you need to trust that it's for your benefit IF you stick with Him. I know how difficult it is to just trust, especially if the problem doesn't seem to have any solution, but hear this: Something really awful and unfair happened to me a while ago, I felt like the victim and I was truly depressed, this hardship continued on for 4 years, and I was continually sad during that period, BUT now when I look back at it : IT WAS THE BEST THING that ever happened to me, and if I had had it my way back then IT WOULD HAVE BEEN THE WORST THING EVER !!!

    So I know out of personal experience how God cares for His children... I can't thank Him enough for those four years which were essential to my life in general (not just spiritually)
    And I really couldn't see it back then, only afterwards did I realize...

    So I pray that God would be with all of us and that He may give us the strength to trust in Him even when it doesn't make sense to us...

    God  Bless
    Please pray for me, a sinner
  • mnc_hnn, St. Perter’s story comes to mind in these situations.

    “Peter was therefore kept in prison, but constant prayer was offered to God for him by the church. And when Herod was about to bring him out, that night Peter was sleeping, bound with two chains between two soldiers; and the guards before the door were keeping the prison. Now behold, an angel of the Lord stood by him, and a light shone in the prison; and he struck Peter on the side and raised him up, saying, “Arise quickly!” And his chains fell off his hands. Then the angel said to him, “Gird yourself and tie on your sandals”; and so he did. And he said to him, “Put on your garment and follow me.” So he went out and followed him, and did not know that what was done by the angel was real, but thought he was seeing a vision. When they were past the first and the second guard posts, they came to the iron gate that leads to the city, which opened to them of its own accord; and they went out and went down one street, and immediately the angel departed from him.”

    Lessons learned:
    1. The church was praying for him, may be you should ask close friends in the church to pray for you.
    2. Peter was sleeping meaning he didn't worry about his problems, we need to have faith in God that he will do the best for us.
    3. Peter followed the directions given to him. We need to listen and follow what God tells us to do.
    4. God is able to open the gates as the angel open them to Peter.
  • Peter was sleeping meaning he didn't worry about his problems, we need to have faith in God that he will do the best for us.

    may be he was tired..lol..sorry, you cant not worry unless you have no feelings, no responsibilities, no family to care about etc..

    Peter followed the directions given to him. We need to listen and follow what God tells us to do.

    they way god would decide to communicate with me is probably very hard for me to spot and understand..im not a saint
  • [quote author=mnc_hnn link=topic=6745.msg90655#msg90655 date=1213317218]

    Peter was sleeping meaning he didn't worry about his problems, we need to have faith in God that he will do the best for us.

    may be he was tired..lol..sorry, you cant not worry unless you have no feelings, no responsibilities, no family to care about etc..

    Peter followed the directions given to him. We need to listen and follow what God tells us to do.

    they way god would decide to communicate with me is probably very hard for me to spot and understand..im not a saint


    St.Peter had a family and certainly had feelings... he had a family, prove? the Vespers (sala 'el 3'eroub) it sais that his mother in law (hamato) was ill and Jesus healed her, now how would He have had a Mother in Law if He didn't have a wife??

    He also had feelings, He WEPT when He denied Jesus, that proves how much feelings He had.

    He also had a GREAT responsibility, Jesus told Him  17 Jesus answered and said to him, “Blessed are you, Simon Bar-Jonah, for flesh and blood has not revealed this to you, but My Father who is in heaven. 18 And I also say to you that you are Peter, and on this rock I will build My church, and the gates of Hades shall not prevail against it. 19 And I will give you the keys of the kingdom of heaven, and whatever you bind on earth will be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will be loosed[d] in heaven.”


    He obviously had great responsibility, even more than any of us.

    The way God will decide to communicate with you is up to God to decide, but i might say they might be in THE BIBLE, SERMONS, SPIRITUAL BOOKS... lots of stuff....  but for sure, a big part of the way GOD will communicate with you is through The BIBLE.
  • [quote author=mnc_hnn link=topic=6745.msg90628#msg90628 date=1213313286]
    if you're depressed stop reading now lol

    if i think that my life is not quite 'happy' i dont mean: oh god's not there he doesnt care

    i just mean like my normal life has too many ordinary problems and as far as i'm concerned i cannot see these problems improving in the future..i dont mean next week i mean in 10 years time...

    does that mean my life will always have these sufferings and i shouldn't raise my hopes so much for a better life HERE on earth and just hope that (please) i'll be happier in HEAVEN?

    if anybody has had a difficult life and problems that can't be solved overnight and they think when they grew older they succeeded in taking control of where their life is going (im not talking about spiritual life here) and they managed to make their lives of better quality please say. tell me if you can or have actually achieved your hopes and dreams through hard work even if most things were going in the opposite direction.

    could it be just god's will that my life is not enjoyable here? i mean a lot of people we hear about around us live terrible lives and suffer to death and never see happy days (im not THAT bad..im not self pitying...)

    thanks in advance for your replies

    Honey, you are just a kid in your teen years!
    why are you looking at life that way?? I know life is not fair sometimes bas bardo that doesn't mean to get all upset keda and just hate life!
    Life is supposed to be painfull and full of problems because god wants us to go to him to ask for his help! have you ever heard "kol moshkela we leha haal?" well.... i will be honest with you every problem has a solution no matter how complicated it seems :* sweeti cheer up :* you know how dear you are to my heart :*

    Begad ya Mnc_hnn eventhough it seems there is no way out of them life long lasting problems.  GOD ALAWYS HAS A WAY OUT OF EVERY PROBLEM YOU THINK OF!!!! Honey, god's wisdom works in marvilous ways that is hard for any human mind to understand it (that is the bible talk, not mine :) )

    It is good to take responsibility bas it is bad to have too much responsibility for your age. go to the mall with your friends, go ride your bike in the park, go play koora :) ( I like playing kora :) bas somehow everytime i kick it, it goes in the oppoiste direction!!  :-\  mosh 3arfa ezay!! werid ha?!! :P hahahahahahaha ) ya habebty you are just in a period of time where you had it of problems around you! go relax haba... do something you enjoy doing! do the cross and open the bible and god's words will tell you what to do :) I am sure the bible will tell you "ask and you shall recieve" "call me in the time of need, and i will be there"

    [quote author=mnc_hnn link=topic=6745.msg90628#msg90628 date=1213313286]
    if you're depressed stop reading now lol

    you know? i wasn't depressed at first, bas now I am :'( :'( :'(

    [quote author=mnc_hnn link=topic=6745.msg90628#msg90628 date=1213313286]
    thanks in advance for your replies

    thank you ba3d ah ba`??? ba3d you got me all depressed?? :'( :'( :'(
    hahahaha
    cheer up :*

    a7san haga rohy ente7ry, begad! :P 3shan tertahy we teraya7eny ma3aky :P hahahahahahahaha
    I love you girl! :*

    rabana ma3aky,
    bentBABAyasooa`
  • Let me show you something you wrote in another thread! I will try to make it Obvios :)

    [quote author=mnc_hnn link=topic=6739.msg90647#msg90647 date=1213315355]
    loool i like el 7adoota...

    worrying about that the right person is no where to be found is normal because thats what happens with most girls who want a decent/loving/lasting marriage...and thats what they all say in their wedding speech (i have found the person ive been dreaming of..i thought it was impossible..blah blah)

    to be honest i think it is strange that the normal thing we are supposed to do is sit and wait for the person..although what alternative do we have? ofcourse your personality can help you if your are confident and outspoken..
    i mean..dont put yourself under pressure..take it easy but believe in yourself..you can be what you want to be and you are god's child! how good is that? there is nothing in you that you should be ashamed of..
    a lot of girls who are shy feel uncomfortable with the way they look and this greatly affects their confidence (might apply to males also but i am not sure) although it shouldnt because the inner beauty is FAR MORE IMPORTANT and who you are inside is what makes you you..the person who deserves to be with you is the one who appreciates who you are inside and respects your principles and beliefs.

    also you say the people around you are 'limited'..we see this with our eyes but you never know what god can see for you..you might end up with the strangest happily ever after... :) bless you..good luck. [/color]


    mosh 3arfa how obvious can i make it! bas i tried :D

    let me make it more obvious so you won't get confused or lost :D


    [quote author=mnc_hnn link=topic=6739.msg90647#msg90647 date=1213315355]
      we see this with our eyes but you never know what god can see for you..you might end up with the strangest happily ever after... :) bless you..good luck.  

    If it is not clear and obvious enough let me know ;) ( I will try again we amry lellah! )
  • may i ask how old are you?!
  • I am going through the same pain as you are.  I got a problem that seems to be permanent.  I struggled with God and that He said "Trust the Lord".  He said "Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desire of your heart".  My prayers were not answered.

    I have no explanaition why I was put in such great pain.  I found some sessions from Father Anthony are very helpful.

    Please try to access it and if you can't I will change the permission.

    http://cid-2ba9fce1682feaf2.skydrive.live.com/browse.aspx/Spiritual warfare for Christians - Marie-Therese Fahmy

    Pray that God opens your eyes and mine too.

    Regards,
    Marie-Therese Fahmy
  • [quote author=mnc_hnn link=topic=6745.msg90628#msg90628 date=1213313286]
    if you're depressed stop reading now lol

    if i think that my life is not quite 'happy' i dont mean: oh god's not there he doesnt care

    i just mean like my normal life has too many ordinary problems and as far as i'm concerned i cannot see these problems improving in the future..i dont mean next week i mean in 10 years time...

    does that mean my life will always have these sufferings and i shouldn't raise my hopes so much for a better life HERE on earth and just hope that (please) i'll be happier in HEAVEN?

    if anybody has had a difficult life and problems that can't be solved overnight and they think when they grew older they succeeded in taking control of where their life is going (im not talking about spiritual life here) and they managed to make their lives of better quality please say. tell me if you can or have actually achieved your hopes and dreams through hard work even if most things were going in the opposite direction.

    could it be just god's will that my life is not enjoyable here? i mean a lot of people we hear about around us live terrible lives and suffer to death and never see happy days (im not THAT bad..im not self pitying...)

    thanks in advance for your replies


    My dear Sister in Christ,

    Forgive me, a sinner and a prodigal.

    My years in high school were dark years of manic-depression, fuelled by various forms of bondage that seemed I would never come out of.  Forgive me, as I do not seek to put my struggles above yours, but rather to come beside you and offer you words of encouragement and support, as well as to any others who are suffering and cannot muster up the words to express the pain and despair inside.  My depression from school carried on into university and the Evil One used it to plague me with dark visions and evil memories--dreams from my childhood that tormented me for years.  When I first attended an Orthodox church (albeit a Russian/Ukrainian church), one of the Antiphons sung was the Beatitudes.  The lines, "blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted," and "blessed are you when men shall revile you and persecute you, and say all manner of evil against you falsely for My sake," made an impact on me over time.  Initially, I understood the love of Christ would endure within me, though I would not always feel it.  These lines stayed within my heart and mind for so long, and I meditated upon them as my strength and hope.  Our Great Lord and Master carried me, and most of the time I did not know He was because my focus was on this world. 
    Another line from the Beatitudes that stuck with me was the last one: "Rejoice, and be exceedingly glad, for great is your reward in Heaven."  My dear Sister, remember what the Holy Apostle St. Paul says about long-suffering begetting patience, and patience being a fruit of the Holy Spirit.  It may seem unfair and difficult, and no doubt it is difficult, but I implore you to take solace in the fact that our Lord and God and Savior Jesus Christ is walking with you, and intends to use this to help you on your journey to theosis. 
    I have likely not provided anything significant, but if anything I want you to know when one person in the Church suffers, we all suffer with you.  My dear Sister, I will suffer with you through this with great joy in the peace that comes only from our Lord and Master.  Let me know how you are doing from time to time as I pray for you. 
    The blessing of the Lord be upon you, through His grace and love toward mankind always, now and ever, and unto ages of ages. 

    Pray for me, my Sister.
  • [quote author=bentBABAyasooa` link=topic=6745.msg90688#msg90688 date=1213330470]
    Let me show you something you wrote in another thread! I will try to make it Obvios :)

    [quote author=mnc_hnn link=topic=6739.msg90647#msg90647 date=1213315355]
    loool i like el 7adoota...

    worrying about that the right person is no where to be found is normal because thats what happens with most girls who want a decent/loving/lasting marriage...and thats what they all say in their wedding speech (i have found the person ive been dreaming of..i thought it was impossible..blah blah)

    to be honest i think it is strange that the normal thing we are supposed to do is sit and wait for the person..although what alternative do we have? ofcourse your personality can help you if your are confident and outspoken..
    i mean..dont put yourself under pressure..take it easy but believe in yourself..you can be what you want to be and you are god's child! how good is that? there is nothing in you that you should be ashamed of..
    a lot of girls who are shy feel uncomfortable with the way they look and this greatly affects their confidence (might apply to males also but i am not sure) although it shouldnt because the inner beauty is FAR MORE IMPORTANT and who you are inside is what makes you you..the person who deserves to be with you is the one who appreciates who you are inside and respects your principles and beliefs.

    also you say the people around you are 'limited'..we see this with our eyes but you never know what god can see for you..you might end up with the strangest happily ever after... :) bless you..good luck. [/color]


    mosh 3arfa how obvious can i make it! bas i tried :D

    let me make it more obvious so you won't get confused or lost :D


    [quote author=mnc_hnn link=topic=6739.msg90647#msg90647 date=1213315355]
      we see this with our eyes but you never know what god can see for you..you might end up with the strangest happily ever after... :) bless you..good luck.  

    If it is not clear and obvious enough let me know ;) ( I will try again we amry lellah! )


    comon..thats different..i was trying to cheer up the troubled person romance is just a part of the life..happily ever after is not really happily ever after...tell you something..yesterday after i wrote this i was thinking about what is it going to be like when you get married and what if your partner dies and leaves you behind? i will kill myself.
    i do not know what is going on but i seem to think so much about how miserable the future will be.

    Mira i don go to the mall and play koora hehe i may look young but my life is not like that..trust me..
    age is not the point here..some 8 year olds already have to work and support their families in poor countries..i know i am luckier than them and i have to admit it..if i went through what these kind of people go through i would have at least gone crazy if not commit suicide lol


    why does everybody seem to tell about their high-school days as the days of great suffering and pain? i did have many problems at my school but i had no time to sit down and think about them because of other much bigger problems..high school is just ordinary..everybody goes through that
    i actually do not wish i was childish and live and mess about like people my age around me because it just wouldnt suit my life..i am just scared to put my hopes too high for happiness which i will not see in this life

    p.s. Mira you really made me laugh lol thanks for the comments, and thanks for getting depressed again its not an easy feeling ;D
  • [quote author=Joseph Vanden Brink link=topic=6745.msg90720#msg90720 date=1213380856]
    [quote author=mnc_hnn link=topic=6745.msg90628#msg90628 date=1213313286]
    if you're depressed stop reading now lol

    if i think that my life is not quite 'happy' i dont mean: oh god's not there he doesnt care

    i just mean like my normal life has too many ordinary problems and as far as i'm concerned i cannot see these problems improving in the future..i dont mean next week i mean in 10 years time...

    does that mean my life will always have these sufferings and i shouldn't raise my hopes so much for a better life HERE on earth and just hope that (please) i'll be happier in HEAVEN?

    if anybody has had a difficult life and problems that can't be solved overnight and they think when they grew older they succeeded in taking control of where their life is going (im not talking about spiritual life here) and they managed to make their lives of better quality please say. tell me if you can or have actually achieved your hopes and dreams through hard work even if most things were going in the opposite direction.

    could it be just god's will that my life is not enjoyable here? i mean a lot of people we hear about around us live terrible lives and suffer to death and never see happy days (im not THAT bad..im not self pitying...)

    thanks in advance for your replies


    My dear Sister in Christ,

    Forgive me, a sinner and a prodigal.

    My years in high school were dark years of manic-depression, fuelled by various forms of bondage that seemed I would never come out of.  Forgive me, as I do not seek to put my struggles above yours, but rather to come beside you and offer you words of encouragement and support, as well as to any others who are suffering and cannot muster up the words to express the pain and despair inside.  My depression from school carried on into university and the Evil One used it to plague me with dark visions and evil memories--dreams from my childhood that tormented me for years.  When I first attended an Orthodox church (albeit a Russian/Ukrainian church), one of the Antiphons sung was the Beatitudes.  The lines, "blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted," and "blessed are you when men shall revile you and persecute you, and say all manner of evil against you falsely for My sake," made an impact on me over time.  Initially, I understood the love of Christ would endure within me, though I would not always feel it.  These lines stayed within my heart and mind for so long, and I meditated upon them as my strength and hope.  Our Great Lord and Master carried me, and most of the time I did not know He was because my focus was on this world. 
    Another line from the Beatitudes that stuck with me was the last one: "Rejoice, and be exceedingly glad, for great is your reward in Heaven."  My dear Sister, remember what the Holy Apostle St. Paul says about long-suffering begetting patience, and patience being a fruit of the Holy Spirit.  It may seem unfair and difficult, and no doubt it is difficult, but I implore you to take solace in the fact that our Lord and God and Savior Jesus Christ is walking with you, and intends to use this to help you on your journey to theosis. 
    I have likely not provided anything significant, but if anything I want you to know when one person in the Church suffers, we all suffer with you.  My dear Sister, I will suffer with you through this with great joy in the peace that comes only from our Lord and Master.  Let me know how you are doing from time to time as I pray for you. 
    The blessing of the Lord be upon you, through His grace and love toward mankind always, now and ever, and unto ages of ages. 

    Pray for me, my Sister.


    i must say you really appreciate being a Christian..lucky you...this feeling is the best but my mind is possessed with sad thoughts for some reason. maybe it is just me..too miserable..i have actually heard about people who claimed they think about sad memories and spend their time pitying themselves..sounds like me although i wish i am not really like that because i kind of think about the future as a dark cloud and a foggy place where nothing that i want will happen ever...as if it is on purpose being the exact opposite of what i want..
  • [quote author=mnc_hnn link=topic=6745.msg90628#msg90628 date=1213313286]
    if you're depressed stop reading now lol

    if i think that my life is not quite 'happy' i dont mean: oh god's not there he doesnt care

    i just mean like my normal life has too many ordinary problems and as far as i'm concerned i cannot see these problems improving in the future..i dont mean next week i mean in 10 years time...

    does that mean my life will always have these sufferings and i shouldn't raise my hopes so much for a better life HERE on earth and just hope that (please) i'll be happier in HEAVEN?

    if anybody has had a difficult life and problems that can't be solved overnight and they think when they grew older they succeeded in taking control of where their life is going (im not talking about spiritual life here) and they managed to make their lives of better quality please say. tell me if you can or have actually achieved your hopes and dreams through hard work even if most things were going in the opposite direction.

    could it be just god's will that my life is not enjoyable here? i mean a lot of people we hear about around us live terrible lives and suffer to death and never see happy days (im not THAT bad..im not self pitying...)

    thanks in advance for your replies


    mnc_hnn,

    Our God is a jealous God. He has to be put first in our lives. Before all else: family, money, materials. Allow God's will to be done in your life and not your own will and I'm sure happiness will come to you swiftly. The Devil likes to see us in misery. I think that it is the devils goal in life to have us all in misery apart from God's glory and goodness.
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