[quote author=baladoos link=topic=6235.msg82293#msg82293 date=1203319592] Hi all, I really need some help with my story, I hope that it is approperiate to post it on this website but I really really need your opinions to help me.
I'm a 23 year old guy, working as an engineer and have a stable life. One of my best friends (a girl from church and she is 19) is a very close person to my heart, I do admit that I have feelings for her but there is a problem here: I know really well that this girl is not prepared for marriage at all, simply because she just finished high school and she is entering University, secondly is that I'm sure 100% that she considers me as only a brother and a good friend of her but nothing more. Thirdly I know that my parents will not be very happy if I get married to her. Now I'm not very sure about what to do, she is in the front of my eyes all the time simply because we are good friends and we are a part of a small group of youth in our church. She is also very nice to me (but only as a brother). What is upsetting me is that I cannot stop my feelings towards her and I feel that my feelings started to be like a line that is hanging me to it. Please I really really need your help with what to do because I personally don't know how to help myself and I feel very very depressed, because I feel that I want to talk to her a lot but on the same time I try to block it so that I don't develop more feelings for her, this tears me apart from inside, it causes me a lot to sit in my room depressed and cry, I prayed to God a lot to help me, but I'm just very bad and I start questioning God about why I loved this girl even though I'm sure that we will never get married, I sometimes ask about about why he didn't make this girl as only a friend to me?. I really really apologize if this topic is not approperiate to be posted on this website, please tell me if this topic is not approperiate and I will delete it,
thanks
Hany, what is their problem with this girl?? I don't understand why your parents won't be happy if you don't marry. You need to ask them. Is it her age?? You are still sooooo young. I'm sure they don't want u to marry at 23 to the wrong person just because they want u married!!
I'm glad to hear she is Coptic. Im glad to hear u are a servant in the Church, and that u are working as an Engineer. Why don't they agree to her???
What's the probability that you'll find someone who likes u in another Church?? Also, at 19, feelings change.. i mean, if she sees u as a friend now or just brother, there's no reason why that can't change.
I'm not saying she's the right one for you, but to give up on someone u love because your parents don't approuve for no valid reason is really hard.
I think QT's above post would be a fair assessment of the situation. He understands you and what your parents may be thinking at the moment. But as can be inferred by QT, this is just speculation until you have a good chat with your loving parents. Every parent love their child, but they express it differently. I hope you can conciliate and understand them, and work in a "partnership" for the glory of God in your family of today and the future.
Please do not let your parents pressure you into marriage. Marriage is a very important decision and one that should not be rushed into. Do not move to another county to find a wife....that would not be a wise thing to do. You are very young and have plenty of time to meet other girls. This girl may not be the one for you but God will definately send you someone that is suitable for you, just be patient and obedient. He has NOT forgotten about you even though it seems that way at times. He just has a better plan for you at this time. So for the time being just try to focus on the many positive things in your life (your spirituality ,your career etc) and leave this matter in Gods hands. He knows what is best for you so just trust Him.
thanks everyone for your post, I really appreciate your help. well I had a chat with my parents and they told me that this girl is a bit arrogant and they don't like her parents, I know that this girl is a little arrogant, but I still love her and I don't know what to do, if I don't move to another country then I won't be able to meet any more girls that are suitable for marriage. My church has only 4 girls that are near my age, and I only like one of them, and the one that I like my parents doesn't want me to get married to. on the same time I want to get married to a coptic girl that knows about our coptic orthodox church, a person that communidate well with me and love me as much as i love her. the country that I'm in doesn't get any new immigrate people to it, but there is another country (i.e Australia) has lots of more churches and more people to meet. But in this case I will have to leave my Job that I'm very sucessful at and also really like. I will have to leave my friends from church that I love them to bits. the problem is that I think a lot and a lot and i still cannot take a good decision of what to do, of whether to stay or to leave, I really want to thank every1 of you for your help, i consider all of you as my brothers and sisters and I release all the pressure that I have inside me through you,
[quote author=baladoos link=topic=6235.msg87176#msg87176 date=1210485666] thanks everyone for your post, I really appreciate your help. well I had a chat with my parents and they told me that this girl is a bit arrogant and they don't like her parents, I know that this girl is a little arrogant, but I still love her and I don't know what to do, if I don't move to another country then I won't be able to meet any more girls that are suitable for marriage. My church has only 4 girls that are near my age, and I only like one of them, and the one that I like my parents doesn't want me to get married to. on the same time I want to get married to a coptic girl that knows about our coptic orthodox church, a person that communidate well with me and love me as much as i love her. the country that I'm in doesn't get any new immigrate people to it, but there is another country (i.e Australia) has lots of more churches and more people to meet. But in this case I will have to leave my Job that I'm very sucessful at and also really like. I will have to leave my friends from church that I love them to bits. the problem is that I think a lot and a lot and i still cannot take a good decision of what to do, of whether to stay or to leave, I really want to thank every1 of you for your help, i consider all of you as my brothers and sisters and I release all the pressure that I have inside me through you,
In Christ,
Baladoos,
Hany,
I married a girl that's really humble. REALLY humble. I mean, she's soooooooooooooooooo modest. Ultra modest. Soooooooooo forgiving and patient also. I am so arrogant. I mean, i love a bit of arrogance. I do. I think its kinda charming. But when my parents met this girl, although I didnt take her seriously at 1st, they really loved her. I admit, had it not been for their love for her humility, it really influenced me in marrying her.
Before meeting her, I knew several Coptic girls. I was in the same situation as u. EXACTLY even. I was an engineer, living in a country where the choice pool for marriage was SOOOOO small. The only Coptic girls there were soooo arrogant. I mean, REALLY arrogant!! In fact, so arrogant, it was embarassing to even know them.
I think in married life, humility is important. I agree, some bit of cheek is a TAD BIT charming - ok.. but if your parents do not like her because she's arrogant, I'd really think about that. What do you know Hany? Do u know the future?? Do u know where you'll be in 10 years? Do you know whether u'll be ill or have good health in 2 years from now? Do u know whether u'll still be a successful engineer, or be unemployed??? U don't know ANY of that. If u marry someone arrogant (at least if they are even 10% of the arrogance of the girls I knew from Church), then I'd be worried for u as u seem REALLY TA-YEB guy.
My suggestion is this:
a) Pray to God.
This is the time for prayer Hany!! I mean, we can dispute all we want about whether we should pray or act, but situation demands CONSTANT PRAYER. BIG TIME!!
b) When you pray, tell God that you don't know what's good for yourself. Tell Him that you love this girl etc.. but you wish that He reveals to you what kind of person she is, or if you will be happy with her?
She's only 19... God only knows how she'll change with time??? Can u predict how problems in life will change her???
c) Ask God for a sign.
Ask Him for a sign that if she is the right one, then perhaps God can speak through your parents, or your FoC ... or someone whom you trust.
But don't insist Hany. The only thing in life worth INSISTING OVER is to be close to Christ. For Him to heal us. That's all (and to forgive us our sins).
Hany,
I'm not saying she's the wrong one for you, but if your parents see her as arrogant, and you yourself admit she's a bit arrogant, they must be worried for u!!!! I WOULD BE WORRIED FOR U. Really...
I mean, let's say she wasn't so pretty.. i wouldnt mind... every girl can look nice. But if she's arrogant.. no matter how pretty she is, one day, you'll hate to see her face if she says or does something so cruel. You don't deserve that.
God gives arrogant people a spouse whose crosses are small so they can deal with such things. lol
Hany, life is full of problems... and after marriage , problems don't disappear. a wife is meant to be your helper, not your enemy.
Don't put in your mind that one day she can change. Perhaps she can... perhaps she'll be the same... perhaps she'll be worse.. we don't know. Only God knows.
Hany, pray constantly. Pray that God does not lead u into ANY temptation!!
Really!!!
Pray that His will is done and not yours!! OK!? Just do that!! If its her, and she's the one for u.. fine. We'll all be very happy., and we'll thank God.. but if God reveals that she's the wrong one, and shows that she's not good for u, then you really ought to thank Him - and I mean REALLY thank Him!!
There are different degrees of arrogance. You really need to see where she is, and whether u can cope with it at the end of the day. Sure, humility is a virtue, but she may have other virtues.
Like I said in the post below, just pray and ask God to reveal to you everything.
Baladoos and QT_PA_2T, what do your screen names mean, if you do not mind me asking?
QT_PA_2T, do you mind sharing your story of how you met your humble, virtuous wife and how you got married?
I just want to add one thing, Baladoos. You may feel that God is not answering you and responding to you, but believe me, God not responding is a response in itself. God may be trying to tell you to be patient and that the right time will come when He wants it to. Another reason may be that he wants you to master the virtue of patience. Or even, if God wills that you and this girl be married to each other, He may be using this time for you to pray harder and get closer to Him and keep building your relationship with Him. Thus, by praying for this matter, He may want to see how serious you are about her so that if you do marry her, you know how valuable she is and how hard you prayed for her and wanted her as your wife so that you will always appreciate her. These are just my opinions. Please do not misconstrue them in any way. I just figured that these may be some reasons why God may be waiting instead of revealing His will now.
[quote author=Ti Agia Malatini link=topic=6235.msg87188#msg87188 date=1210526891] Baladoos and QT_PA_2T, what do your screen names mean, if you do not mind me asking?
QT_PA_2T, do you mind sharing your story of how you met your humble, virtuous wife and how you got married?
I just want to add one thing, Baladoos. You may feel that God is not answering you and responding to you, but believe me, God not responding is a response in itself. God may be trying to tell you to be patient and that the right time will come when He wants it to. Another reason may be that he wants you to master the virtue of patience. Or even, if God wills that you and this girl be married to each other, He may be using this time for you to pray harder and get closer to Him and keep building your relationship with Him. Thus, by praying for this matter, He may want to see how serious you are about her so that if you do marry her, you know how valuable she is and how hard you prayed for her and wanted her as your wife so that you will always appreciate her. These are just my opinions. Please do not misconstrue them in any way. I just figured that these may be some reasons why God may be waiting instead of revealing His will now.
First of all, I really liked your advice.
Hany - be patient habibi - u are SOOO young. Also, the feelings of parents are important. I mean, for me, my parents are my spiritual advisors. Everything i confessed to abouna as a kid, one of my parents knows about it. My parents are saints. Really. I'm not saying that just to get tasbeha.org to make me an Admin (lol), but they are soooo holy. So, their advice really meant a lot to me.
I mean, in our house, we have a chapel. A small prayer room.
However, every case is different. All of them are different. Our lives are different. What applies to me may not necessarily apply to u or be useful for u.
She may well be the one for you, but once u decide & get married, there is no turning back.
Malatina,
Concerning how I found my wife... its such a long story. But, I think its quite romantic still, but what's important for me is her relationship with Christ. Her spirituality. Its not a facade. Its very real, and I like that given that one of my main criteria was that my wife is a Christian and is humble (as well as beautiful ;)) lol
What about u Hany, do u have any criteria?? I mean, what did you want?? What are the things u'd like??
I think God will give each one according to his/her heart. But, given that, its best still to devote time to prayer.
I met my wife when I was really close to the Church. This was good. I think it was a good start. I didnt intend to do anything wrong. I think searching for a wife is a really good thing. Its not bad. Marriage is a sacrament after all.
Hany, ask for God's will when you pray. Put love aside, all that changes after marriage, especially if she choses the wrong colour curtains for the apartment. lol
Also, my wife really likes my sense of humour. Not everyone likes my sense of humour. I mean, for example, Minagir doesnt like my sense of humour. We are friends, but it means we could never get married. (lol). Ma3alesh. .... ya3ni ya Hani, does this girl like your sense of humour?? Its important. Also, she has to like your spirituality. I mean, the fact that I found my wife humble, and very quick to serve others, i liked that... that touched my heart actually. It was hard to say "no" because - not only did i not see such virtues in any girl i've met before from Church (whether Coptic or Catholic), but she was humble too.
See, even if I say a joke that's not funny, she still finds it funny. Go figure? lol ANd then if I say the same joke again to see if she'll find it funny, SHE STILL FINDS IT FUNNY (the 2nd time). Had I married someone arrogant, she'd have hired a comedian to make her laugh instead.
I'm not saying that marrying someone humble IS the best thing for u... because I don't know this girl's other virtues. Perhaps u need someone spontaneous, outgoing etc??
Anyway, Good luck ya habibi ya Hany.
(ps. as for my name: QT-PA-2T, i got that off someone I knew who had the same ID. I thought it was funny, cos she was italian, and if u write it down its: cutie-pat-tootie.
If you could please share your story, even if it is long. It might comfort our friend Baladoos. Besides, hearing a story of how a husband and wife met in a church/spiritual atmosphere is really terrific. I respect that. I really like the idea of the prayer room in the house. I presume you and your wife will do the same. We are praying for you Baladoos.
[quote author=Ti Agia Malatini link=topic=6235.msg87194#msg87194 date=1210530849] If you could please share your story, even if it is long. It might comfort our friend Baladoos. Besides, hearing a story of how a husband and wife met in a church/spiritual atmosphere is really terrific. I respect that. I really like the idea of the prayer room in the house. I presume you and your wife will do the same. We are praying for you Baladoos.
HI Tiagia,
We definately use the chapel a lot. My wife does use it more than me, but we use it. Well, we pray together at least.
I'd like to have a prayer room too if ever God blesses me with the means of getting it done.
As for the story of how we met etc, i'll have to ask her if she wants me to share that. But, its quite a fairytale.
I just have to say that I was EXACTLY in your position a few years ago.
I met a girl who I thought was the one. She was absolutely perfect. Before I had gotten to know her, I wasn't that close to God, but she was. I mean, I went to church,etc., but I didn't really know God, and I had never really prayed before I met her.
At the time, we started getting closer, to the point where we would stay up talking together till sunrise. I hung out with her all summer long, and I felt like this was it, and I felt that I was getting closer to knowing her.
But in my mind, I began making her out to be more than she really was. In a way, I began to put her before God; in a way I began to worship her. I was putting her above everyone and everything else in my life. This was made worse by the fact that I was pretty lonely at the time, so all my love and my focus went to this one person.
Eventually, things didn't work out, and I got pretty depressed. But during the next few years, I realized so much about myself. I was in no way ready for a relationship because I didn't even know who I was. God used this time so that I could really figure out who I am and what He wants me to be. I started serving in the church, I made new friends, and stopped thinking about marriage. I'm still too young.
That said, you shouldn't do things that your parents tell you if you don't think it will make you happy. It's your life. Don't settle.
[quote author=baladoos link=topic=6235.msg87117#msg87117 date=1210417370] I I pray to God daily about this subject for more than 6 months now, and God doesn't want to respond to me, I started feeling that God just completely forgot about me and left me alone hurting all the time like this.
because it takes long for God to respond, it dosn't mean He won't ... There is time for everything under the heavens.... It took God 6 days to create the whole earth... all the animals, humans, all their organs and the fasinating ways these creatures work... in 6 days.... do u really think that he dosn't have time for you???..... YOU ARE HIS SON... u think He won't havr time?... what are you talking about???
GOD will give you what you need/help you whenever HE thinks it is the right time for it...... i will give yo an example...... When you were young (like 5 or 6) , did you ever pray or ask God for anything crazy...like a shiny red car, that goes so fast, did God answer this wish????? probably not..... not because He didn't listen to you or froget you, but because it wasn't the apropriate time to ask for these things..... i know ths is diferent, but God would never forget about you.....
I really really don't know how to thank everyone for all the help that you are providing, I mean I have never found anyone that helped me that much, your words are very supportive and very warm to my heart.
in all what you everyone said, it is right, well.....This girl is a nice girl, she likes church, I do admit that she is arrogant, sometimes she doesn't like people arguing with her, but she is very helping, she helps everyone in anytime they need her help, she knows how to make me feel happy when I'm upset. Like for example if I'm upset and setting by myself, and I don't even notice that anyone realises that I'm upset, I find her coming very quitely and asking me with a little tap on my shoulder "Hany what's wrong, are you going to hide from me?". When I hear her telling me this, i feel that my heart melts and that I want to tell her everything in my life. I do talk with her sometimes about my personal life, and what i'm going through. I had a talk with her before that after my brother got married and things changed. My brother now hardly talks to me or even asks about me, and his wife hates me, which is pretty bad I know, but there is nothing I can do about it. That's why when this girl comes and talks to me I just feel that I want to open my heart and tell her all what is upsetting me, because she does really make me feel happy. but on the same time after I get home I find my eyes starts getting watery and I start crying because I know that my love her won't get me anywhere, simply because my parents don't agree about her as a wife. I know that my parents won't change their opinion about her. When I knew that my parents don't agree about her, I decided to try to avoid her but without making her notice that so that I don't hurt her feelings. I tried that few times but they didn't work out. Simply becuase she is a best friend to me, and also she is part of my small group of friends at church that I love to bits. If I want to completely avoid her then I will have to just stop seeing all my other group from church and I will feel more lonely that how I'm already. Its pretty difficult to me, i mean the more that I talk with her, the more I feel pain inside my heart because I know that she will not be my future wife.
Again I really appreciate everyone's response, you guys/girls are great really, I will not find any better friends than you
[quote author=servant of God link=topic=6235.msg87209#msg87209 date=1210540785]
That said, you shouldn't do things that your parents tell you if you don't think it will make you happy. It's your life. Don't settle.
Hany,
I really agree with this post. You will marry this girl, not your parents. I'm just saying that you don't know how she will be in 10 years from now. No one is perfect. If u find someone who is not arrogant, i'm sure you'll find other problems in her.
[quote author=QT_PA_2T link=topic=6235.msg87249#msg87249 date=1210584401] [quote author=servant of God link=topic=6235.msg87209#msg87209 date=1210540785]
That said, you shouldn't do things that your parents tell you if you don't think it will make you happy. It's your life. Don't settle.
Hany,
I really agree with this post. You will marry this girl, not your parents. I'm just saying that you don't know how she will be in 10 years from now. No one is perfect. If u find someone who is not arrogant, i'm sure you'll find other problems in her.
lol.. its frustrating.. isnt it??
Hany, HARAM 3ALEK! SHe sounds really nice... eh dah? How can she care about u being alone and be arrogant at the same time? Why don't your parents like her?? Ya3ni, what is it exactly they don't like??
I think its best not to make judgements about her too quickly. Also, perhaps your family don't get along with her family?
No one, ya Hany, can advise u on whether a girl is right for u or not, that's your choice. You have to pray for a long time, and make a decision.
Enjoy the gift of singleness. It is a great time to consolidate your life in Christ. A husband is a priest of the family- a high calling. I would not rush into it unless I was satisfied that you are in a stage in your relationship with God, that your will is subjected to His, and that He works through you, and for you; putting on Christ and letting go of your selfish man. The institution of Marriage is the figurement of the real unity and roles of Christ and the Church. If a church is unrepentant and unloving, the unity is not unity, and the church profanes the Name and Honour of Christ.
Remember, unless your parents are going against the will of God,"Children obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. Honor your father and mother" (Eph 6:1,2). So, be cautious. Your parents will be contrary to God to choose a wife for you, because orthodoxy teaches that you and your wife will be ONE, and such unity can only happen if you two can be yoked.
Consider the following words in the wedding ceremony:
the priest reads the commandment to the bridegroom saying "My blessed son, who is supported by the grace of the Holy Spirit you are required to receive your wife at this blessed hour with a clear conscience, a pure soul and a full heart. Excel in doing all that is good for her. Have compassion on her and hasten to do that which will gladden her heart."
Then the priest reads the commandment for the bride "And you blessed daughter... you are required to honor and respect him, do not disagree with him but increase your obedience to him many times over what was commanded...So you must receive him with joy and cheer, do not frown in his face, do not neglect any of his rights upon you, and fear God in all matters with him."
This cannot spontaneously occur if both man and woman is not committed in Christ to consecrate the marriage to God, and for God, and with the blessings of God.
you are right clay, but I still don't know what to do with the depression that I have from this topic, ??? I'm very confused and very frustrated. Sometimes I even feel that God Himself left me alone, I know that I'm a big sinner, and I know that God should punish me for lots of things, but I feel bad that I cannot feel the presence of God with me. I feel that He doesn't want to help me,
[quote author=baladoos link=topic=6235.msg87730#msg87730 date=1210839964] you are right clay, but I still don't know what to do with the depression that I have from this topic, ??? I'm very confused and very frustrated. Sometimes I even feel that God Himself left me alone, I know that I'm a big sinner, and I know that God should punish me for lots of things, but I feel bad that I cannot feel the presence of God with me. I feel that He doesn't want to help me,
Hi Hany,
Did you want God to make this girl fall in love with you? Why should He? He respects our free will. He wouldnt do anything ghazz bin 3anena.
Man, are u sure u are praying for His Will?
You know, Ford, when he created the 1st assembly line produced car, they said to him :"So, what colour do u want us to paint it?"
He said to them :"Paint it any colour u want, so long as its black".
I think, and I could be wrong Hany, that you are telling this to God :"God, let it be your will, so long as its this girl" . Then where is His will... and actually, God is respecting your will (by letting u do what u want),so you should respect His will at the very least, and not insist to the point its making u depressed.
[quote author=clay link=topic=6235.msg87734#msg87734 date=1210842231] Dude, you have to have confidence in His will!
Yeah,
and i wanna say a few words about how to have confidence in God's will.
Now, this is just my contemplation here, so feel free to correct me, or have me ex-communicated for heresy; but having confidence in His Will means (to me) not to worry.
I mean, if it doesnt work out with a girl, and u tried your best - BE SURE THAT GOD IS TAKING CARE OF U! I mean, just knowing that, and trusting that in your heart is SOOOOO IMPORTANT. Do not doubt for a second that He has left u. EVER!!!!
THat's why Hany im telling u not to insist on anything - i mean, sure, try your best to know a girl etc.. but don't insist. If u keep on at it, its no longer God's will. I think by now she knows u like her. But u have to trust that if it NOT her, then God will give u someone that will love u. See what I mean!?
Why are u assuming that she's the best one for u?? U are assuming that. That's why I am saying to you in my previous posts: U DO NOT KNOW THE FUTURE!! U do not know anything!!! TRUST IN THE LORD.
Hany, look, let me tell u a story:
You're an Engineer - right? OK. THey sent me to Africa to go and build something for them. THere was a problem with a piece of equipment. Its VERY complex. U cannot imagine. I called support back in Europe, and they put us through to some guy that was a real hot-shot. I mean, when i discovered that he was dealing with the case, I felt that it was as good as solved.
You know what he told me? he said "You are alone.. u fix it yourself. I don't know how to do it. It can't be done because u have to change the equipment completely!".
You know what, I fixed it. He was unaware himself of how to get over the issue. AFter it worked, i was literally singing. I was saying to myself that there's a pslam that says "Blessed is the man who puts His trust in the Lord, and not in men". And the worst part is this, HE forced me to tell him how i got it done. I told him :"Well.. there's a section in one of the documentation I read that explains what to do in such a situation. .. i came across it by luck".
Why do i think that some guy, because he's really famous, has the answers to my problems? Those who put their trust in the engineers that built Titanic.. it sank! Why are you also putting all your hopes in a girl that U DO NOT KNOW 100% if she's right for u or not!! U do not know!! U cannot predict the future!!!!
U know,when u use the word assume, you "make an ASS of U and ME"
You are assuming that u know what's best for u. You are assuming that she's the best person for u. WHy on earth do u need God for???
We pray for His will every day when we say "Thy will be done" in the Lord's Prayer. Are these just words we repeat or do we truly mean them? God will be so happy if you truly seek what He wants and not what you want. In the Agpeya, there is the "Prayer for God's Accompaniment" and also the "Prayer for Asking the Will of God before an Endeavor." They are very comforting. Try to pray them each day or anytime you can. They are great. May God lead you to His will, Baladoos.
Something else I would like to add is that God may want to see how much trust you are going to put in Him. He knows how much but He wants you to know as well. This girl may be the girl that God has planned for you to marry. However, God may want to see how much you are going to surrender to Him. I read something nice in a Coptic magazine before on trusting in God and not worrying--"You have to let go and LET GOD."
[quote author=QT_PA_2T link=topic=6235.msg87738#msg87738 date=1210844137] [quote author=clay link=topic=6235.msg87734#msg87734 date=1210842231] Dude, you have to have confidence in His will!
Yeah,
and i wanna say a few words about how to have confidence in God's will.
Now, this is just my contemplation here, so feel free to correct me, or have me ex-communicated for heresy; but having confidence in His Will means (to me) not to worry.
I mean, if it doesnt work out with a girl, and u tried your best - BE SURE THAT GOD IS TAKING CARE OF U! I mean, just knowing that, and trusting that in your heart is SOOOOO IMPORTANT. Do not doubt for a second that He has left u. EVER!!!!
THat's why Hany im telling u not to insist on anything - i mean, sure, try your best to know a girl etc.. but don't insist. If u keep on at it, its no longer God's will. I think by now she knows u like her. But u have to trust that if it NOT her, then God will give u someone that will love u. See what I mean!?
Why are u assuming that she's the best one for u?? U are assuming that. That's why I am saying to you in my previous posts: U DO NOT KNOW THE FUTURE!! U do not know anything!!! TRUST IN THE LORD.
Hany, look, let me tell u a story:
You're an Engineer - right? OK. THey sent me to Africa to go and build something for them. THere was a problem with a piece of equipment. Its VERY complex. U cannot imagine. I called support back in Europe, and they put us through to some guy that was a real hot-shot. I mean, when i discovered that he was dealing with the case, I felt that it was as good as solved.
You know what he told me? he said "You are alone.. u fix it yourself. I don't know how to do it. It can't be done because u have to change the equipment completely!".
You know what, I fixed it. He was unaware himself of how to get over the issue. AFter it worked, i was literally singing. I was saying to myself that there's a pslam that says "Blessed is the man who puts His trust in the Lord, and not in men". And the worst part is this, HE forced me to tell him how i got it done. I told him :"Well.. there's a section in one of the documentation I read that explains what to do in such a situation. .. i came across it by luck".
Why do i think that some guy, because he's really famous, has the answers to my problems? Those who put their trust in the engineers that built Titanic.. it sank! Why are you also putting all your hopes in a girl that U DO NOT KNOW 100% if she's right for u or not!! U do not know!! U cannot predict the future!!!!
U know,when u use the word assume, you "make an ASS of U and ME"
You are assuming that u know what's best for u. You are assuming that she's the best person for u. WHy on earth do u need God for???
[quote author=kerestina link=topic=6235.msg87944#msg87944 date=1211114914] [quote author=QT_PA_2T link=topic=6235.msg87738#msg87738 date=1210844137] [quote author=clay link=topic=6235.msg87734#msg87734 date=1210842231] Dude, you have to have confidence in His will!
Yeah,
and i wanna say a few words about how to have confidence in God's will.
Now, this is just my contemplation here, so feel free to correct me, or have me ex-communicated for heresy; but having confidence in His Will means (to me) not to worry.
I mean, if it doesnt work out with a girl, and u tried your best - BE SURE THAT GOD IS TAKING CARE OF U! I mean, just knowing that, and trusting that in your heart is SOOOOO IMPORTANT. Do not doubt for a second that He has left u. EVER!!!!
THat's why Hany im telling u not to insist on anything - i mean, sure, try your best to know a girl etc.. but don't insist. If u keep on at it, its no longer God's will. I think by now she knows u like her. But u have to trust that if it NOT her, then God will give u someone that will love u. See what I mean!?
Why are u assuming that she's the best one for u?? U are assuming that. That's why I am saying to you in my previous posts: U DO NOT KNOW THE FUTURE!! U do not know anything!!! TRUST IN THE LORD.
Hany, look, let me tell u a story:
You're an Engineer - right? OK. THey sent me to Africa to go and build something for them. THere was a problem with a piece of equipment. Its VERY complex. U cannot imagine. I called support back in Europe, and they put us through to some guy that was a real hot-shot. I mean, when i discovered that he was dealing with the case, I felt that it was as good as solved.
You know what he told me? he said "You are alone.. u fix it yourself. I don't know how to do it. It can't be done because u have to change the equipment completely!".
You know what, I fixed it. He was unaware himself of how to get over the issue. AFter it worked, i was literally singing. I was saying to myself that there's a pslam that says "Blessed is the man who puts His trust in the Lord, and not in men". And the worst part is this, HE forced me to tell him how i got it done. I told him :"Well.. there's a section in one of the documentation I read that explains what to do in such a situation. .. i came across it by luck".
Why do i think that some guy, because he's really famous, has the answers to my problems? Those who put their trust in the engineers that built Titanic.. it sank! Why are you also putting all your hopes in a girl that U DO NOT KNOW 100% if she's right for u or not!! U do not know!! U cannot predict the future!!!!
U know,when u use the word assume, you "make an ASS of U and ME"
You are assuming that u know what's best for u. You are assuming that she's the best person for u. WHy on earth do u need God for???
i must say lol this is a very good post
Kerestina, What a wonderful surprise of seeing you again. What I tell Hany, I tell myself often. God bless
Guys I still need help, I really in love with this Girl.....and I feel that she feels me, both of us care for eachother a lot, ofcourse I cannot say that she likes me back, but i know for sure that I'm very dear to her heart, she even say that.
She really cares about me, asks always about me, and listens to me for hours on MSN when I talk about my problems.
But....the problem is my parents.....they don't agree about her at all...and they are saying that she is not the right one for me....
Now my heart is breaking into bits...i love the girl so much and I wish I can just tell her that I have feelings for her, but on the same time my parents' opinion is paralysing me....and I tried many times with them but they don't agree.....
Ofcourse I cannot say NO to them....simply because they are my parents....but again everytime i see the girl i feel that I have more and more feelings for her....
Anyhelp?
I'm so sorry for talking about this a lot...but really i'm in a great pain
Comments
Hi all,
I really need some help with my story, I hope that it is approperiate to post it on this website but I really really need your opinions to help me.
I'm a 23 year old guy, working as an engineer and have a stable life. One of my best friends (a girl from church and she is 19) is a very close person to my heart, I do admit that I have feelings for her but there is a problem here: I know really well that this girl is not prepared for marriage at all, simply because she just finished high school and she is entering University, secondly is that I'm sure 100% that she considers me as only a brother and a good friend of her but nothing more. Thirdly I know that my parents will not be very happy if I get married to her. Now I'm not very sure about what to do, she is in the front of my eyes all the time simply because we are good friends and we are a part of a small group of youth in our church. She is also very nice to me (but only as a brother). What is upsetting me is that I cannot stop my feelings towards her and I feel that my feelings started to be like a line that is hanging me to it. Please I really really need your help with what to do because I personally don't know how to help myself and I feel very very depressed, because I feel that I want to talk to her a lot but on the same time I try to block it so that I don't develop more feelings for her, this tears me apart from inside, it causes me a lot to sit in my room depressed and cry, I prayed to God a lot to help me, but I'm just very bad and I start questioning God about why I loved this girl even though I'm sure that we will never get married, I sometimes ask about about why he didn't make this girl as only a friend to me?. I really really apologize if this topic is not approperiate to be posted on this website, please tell me if this topic is not approperiate and I will delete it,
thanks
Hany, what is their problem with this girl?? I don't understand why your parents won't be happy if you don't marry. You need to ask them. Is it her age?? You are still sooooo young. I'm sure they don't want u to marry at 23 to the wrong person just because they want u married!!
I'm glad to hear she is Coptic. Im glad to hear u are a servant in the Church, and that u are working as an Engineer. Why don't they agree to her???
What's the probability that you'll find someone who likes u in another Church?? Also, at 19, feelings change.. i mean, if she sees u as a friend now or just brother, there's no reason why that can't change.
I'm not saying she's the right one for you, but to give up on someone u love because your parents don't approuve for no valid reason is really hard.
In Christ,
Baladoos,
thanks everyone for your post, I really appreciate your help. well I had a chat with my parents and they told me that this girl is a bit arrogant and they don't like her parents, I know that this girl is a little arrogant, but I still love her and I don't know what to do, if I don't move to another country then I won't be able to meet any more girls that are suitable for marriage. My church has only 4 girls that are near my age, and I only like one of them, and the one that I like my parents doesn't want me to get married to. on the same time I want to get married to a coptic girl that knows about our coptic orthodox church, a person that communidate well with me and love me as much as i love her. the country that I'm in doesn't get any new immigrate people to it, but there is another country (i.e Australia) has lots of more churches and more people to meet. But in this case I will have to leave my Job that I'm very sucessful at and also really like. I will have to leave my friends from church that I love them to bits. the problem is that I think a lot and a lot and i still cannot take a good decision of what to do, of whether to stay or to leave, I really want to thank every1 of you for your help, i consider all of you as my brothers and sisters and I release all the pressure that I have inside me through you,
In Christ,
Baladoos,
Hany,
I married a girl that's really humble. REALLY humble. I mean, she's soooooooooooooooooo modest. Ultra modest. Soooooooooo forgiving and patient also. I am so arrogant. I mean, i love a bit of arrogance. I do. I think its kinda charming. But when my parents met this girl, although I didnt take her seriously at 1st, they really loved her. I admit, had it not been for their love for her humility, it really influenced me in marrying her.
Before meeting her, I knew several Coptic girls. I was in the same situation as u. EXACTLY even. I was an engineer, living in a country where the choice pool for marriage was SOOOOO small. The only Coptic girls there were soooo arrogant. I mean, REALLY arrogant!! In fact, so arrogant, it was embarassing to even know them.
I think in married life, humility is important. I agree, some bit of cheek is a TAD BIT charming - ok.. but if your parents do not like her because she's arrogant, I'd really think about that. What do you know Hany? Do u know the future?? Do u know where you'll be in 10 years? Do you know whether u'll be ill or have good health in 2 years from now? Do u know whether u'll still be a successful engineer, or be unemployed??? U don't know ANY of that. If u marry someone arrogant (at least if they are even 10% of the arrogance of the girls I knew from Church), then I'd be worried for u as u seem REALLY TA-YEB guy.
My suggestion is this:
a) Pray to God.
This is the time for prayer Hany!! I mean, we can dispute all we want about whether we should pray or act, but situation demands CONSTANT PRAYER. BIG TIME!!
b) When you pray, tell God that you don't know what's good for yourself. Tell Him that you love this girl etc.. but you wish that He reveals to you what kind of person she is, or if you will be happy with her?
She's only 19... God only knows how she'll change with time??? Can u predict how problems in life will change her???
c) Ask God for a sign.
Ask Him for a sign that if she is the right one, then perhaps God can speak through your parents, or your FoC ... or someone whom you trust.
But don't insist Hany. The only thing in life worth INSISTING OVER is to be close to Christ. For Him to heal us. That's all (and to forgive us our sins).
Hany,
I'm not saying she's the wrong one for you, but if your parents see her as arrogant, and you yourself admit she's a bit arrogant, they must be worried for u!!!! I WOULD BE WORRIED FOR U. Really...
I mean, let's say she wasn't so pretty.. i wouldnt mind... every girl can look nice. But if she's arrogant.. no matter how pretty she is, one day, you'll hate to see her face if she says or does something so cruel. You don't deserve that.
God gives arrogant people a spouse whose crosses are small so they can deal with such things. lol
Hany, life is full of problems... and after marriage , problems don't disappear. a wife is meant to be your helper, not your enemy.
Don't put in your mind that one day she can change. Perhaps she can... perhaps she'll be the same... perhaps she'll be worse.. we don't know. Only God knows.
Hany, pray constantly. Pray that God does not lead u into ANY temptation!!
Really!!!
Pray that His will is done and not yours!! OK!? Just do that!! If its her, and she's the one for u.. fine. We'll all be very happy., and we'll thank God.. but if God reveals that she's the wrong one, and shows that she's not good for u, then you really ought to thank Him - and I mean REALLY thank Him!!
There are different degrees of arrogance. You really need to see where she is, and whether u can cope with it at the end of the day. Sure, humility is a virtue, but she may have other virtues.
Like I said in the post below, just pray and ask God to reveal to you everything.
QT_PA_2T, do you mind sharing your story of how you met your humble, virtuous wife and how you got married?
I just want to add one thing, Baladoos. You may feel that God is not answering you and responding to you, but believe me, God not responding is a response in itself. God may be trying to tell you to be patient and that the right time will come when He wants it to. Another reason may be that he wants you to master the virtue of patience. Or even, if God wills that you and this girl be married to each other, He may be using this time for you to pray harder and get closer to Him and keep building your relationship with Him. Thus, by praying for this matter, He may want to see how serious you are about her so that if you do marry her, you know how valuable she is and how hard you prayed for her and wanted her as your wife so that you will always appreciate her. These are just my opinions. Please do not misconstrue them in any way. I just figured that these may be some reasons why God may be waiting instead of revealing His will now.
Baladoos and QT_PA_2T, what do your screen names mean, if you do not mind me asking?
QT_PA_2T, do you mind sharing your story of how you met your humble, virtuous wife and how you got married?
I just want to add one thing, Baladoos. You may feel that God is not answering you and responding to you, but believe me, God not responding is a response in itself. God may be trying to tell you to be patient and that the right time will come when He wants it to. Another reason may be that he wants you to master the virtue of patience. Or even, if God wills that you and this girl be married to each other, He may be using this time for you to pray harder and get closer to Him and keep building your relationship with Him. Thus, by praying for this matter, He may want to see how serious you are about her so that if you do marry her, you know how valuable she is and how hard you prayed for her and wanted her as your wife so that you will always appreciate her. These are just my opinions. Please do not misconstrue them in any way. I just figured that these may be some reasons why God may be waiting instead of revealing His will now.
First of all, I really liked your advice.
Hany - be patient habibi - u are SOOO young. Also, the feelings of parents are important. I mean, for me, my parents are my spiritual advisors. Everything i confessed to abouna as a kid, one of my parents knows about it. My parents are saints. Really. I'm not saying that just to get tasbeha.org to make me an Admin (lol), but they are soooo holy. So, their advice really meant a lot to me.
I mean, in our house, we have a chapel. A small prayer room.
However, every case is different. All of them are different. Our lives are different. What applies to me may not necessarily apply to u or be useful for u.
She may well be the one for you, but once u decide & get married, there is no turning back.
Malatina,
Concerning how I found my wife... its such a long story. But, I think its quite romantic still, but what's important for me is her relationship with Christ. Her spirituality. Its not a facade. Its very real, and I like that given that one of my main criteria was that my wife is a Christian and is humble (as well as beautiful ;)) lol
What about u Hany, do u have any criteria?? I mean, what did you want?? What are the things u'd like??
I think God will give each one according to his/her heart. But, given that, its best still to devote time to prayer.
I met my wife when I was really close to the Church. This was good. I think it was a good start. I didnt intend to do anything wrong. I think searching for a wife is a really good thing. Its not bad. Marriage is a sacrament after all.
Hany, ask for God's will when you pray. Put love aside, all that changes after marriage, especially if she choses the wrong colour curtains for the apartment. lol
Also, my wife really likes my sense of humour. Not everyone likes my sense of humour. I mean, for example, Minagir doesnt like my sense of humour. We are friends, but it means we could never get married. (lol).
Ma3alesh. .... ya3ni ya Hani, does this girl like your sense of humour?? Its important. Also, she has to like your spirituality. I mean, the fact that I found my wife humble, and very quick to serve others, i liked that... that touched my heart actually. It was hard to say "no" because - not only did i not see such virtues in any girl i've met before from Church (whether Coptic or Catholic), but she was humble too.
See, even if I say a joke that's not funny, she still finds it funny. Go figure? lol ANd then if I say the same joke again to see if she'll find it funny, SHE STILL FINDS IT FUNNY (the 2nd time). Had I married someone arrogant, she'd have hired a comedian to make her laugh instead.
I'm not saying that marrying someone humble IS the best thing for u... because I don't know this girl's other virtues. Perhaps u need someone spontaneous, outgoing etc??
Anyway, Good luck ya habibi ya Hany.
(ps. as for my name: QT-PA-2T, i got that off someone I knew who had the same ID. I thought it was funny, cos she was italian, and if u write it down its: cutie-pat-tootie.
If you could please share your story, even if it is long. It might comfort our friend Baladoos. Besides, hearing a story of how a husband and wife met in a church/spiritual atmosphere is really terrific. I respect that. I really like the idea of the prayer room in the house. I presume you and your wife will do the same. We are praying for you Baladoos.
HI Tiagia,
We definately use the chapel a lot. My wife does use it more than me, but we use it.
Well, we pray together at least.
I'd like to have a prayer room too if ever God blesses me with the means of getting it done.
As for the story of how we met etc, i'll have to ask her if she wants me to share that. But, its quite a fairytale.
I just have to say that I was EXACTLY in your position a few years ago.
I met a girl who I thought was the one. She was absolutely perfect. Before I had gotten to know her, I wasn't that close to God, but she was. I mean, I went to church,etc., but I didn't really know God, and I had never really prayed before I met her.
At the time, we started getting closer, to the point where we would stay up talking together till sunrise. I hung out with her all summer long, and I felt like this was it, and I felt that I was getting closer to knowing her.
But in my mind, I began making her out to be more than she really was. In a way, I began to put her before God; in a way I began to worship her. I was putting her above everyone and everything else in my life. This was made worse by the fact that I was pretty lonely at the time, so all my love and my focus went to this one person.
Eventually, things didn't work out, and I got pretty depressed. But during the next few years, I realized so much about myself. I was in no way ready for a relationship because I didn't even know who I was. God used this time so that I could really figure out who I am and what He wants me to be. I started serving in the church, I made new friends, and stopped thinking about marriage. I'm still too young.
That said, you shouldn't do things that your parents tell you if you don't think it will make you happy. It's your life. Don't settle.
I I pray to God daily about this subject for more than 6 months now, and God doesn't want to respond to me, I started feeling that God just completely forgot about me and left me alone hurting all the time like this.
because it takes long for God to respond, it dosn't mean He won't ... There is time for everything under the heavens.... It took God 6 days to create the whole earth... all the animals, humans, all their organs and the fasinating ways these creatures work... in 6 days.... do u really think that he dosn't have time for you???..... YOU ARE HIS SON... u think He won't havr time?... what are you talking about???
GOD will give you what you need/help you whenever HE thinks it is the right time for it...... i will give yo an example...... When you were young (like 5 or 6) , did you ever pray or ask God for anything crazy...like a shiny red car, that goes so fast, did God answer this wish????? probably not..... not because He didn't listen to you or froget you, but because it wasn't the apropriate time to ask for these things..... i know ths is diferent, but God would never forget about you.....
God Bless
Coptic Pharaoh
in all what you everyone said, it is right, well.....This girl is a nice girl, she likes church, I do admit that she is arrogant, sometimes she doesn't like people arguing with her, but she is very helping, she helps everyone in anytime they need her help, she knows how to make me feel happy when I'm upset. Like for example if I'm upset and setting by myself, and I don't even notice that anyone realises that I'm upset, I find her coming very quitely and asking me with a little tap on my shoulder "Hany what's wrong, are you going to hide from me?". When I hear her telling me this, i feel that my heart melts and that I want to tell her everything in my life. I do talk with her sometimes about my personal life, and what i'm going through. I had a talk with her before that after my brother got married and things changed. My brother now hardly talks to me or even asks about me, and his wife hates me, which is pretty bad I know, but there is nothing I can do about it. That's why when this girl comes and talks to me I just feel that I want to open my heart and tell her all what is upsetting me, because she does really make me feel happy. but on the same time after I get home I find my eyes starts getting watery and I start crying because I know that my love her won't get me anywhere, simply because my parents don't agree about her as a wife. I know that my parents won't change their opinion about her. When I knew that my parents don't agree about her, I decided to try to avoid her but without making her notice that so that I don't hurt her feelings. I tried that few times but they didn't work out. Simply becuase she is a best friend to me, and also she is part of my small group of friends at church that I love to bits. If I want to completely avoid her then I will have to just stop seeing all my other group from church and I will feel more lonely that how I'm already. Its pretty difficult to me, i mean the more that I talk with her, the more I feel pain inside my heart because I know that she will not be my future wife.
Again I really appreciate everyone's response, you guys/girls are great really, I will not find any better friends than you
Hany
That said, you shouldn't do things that your parents tell you if you don't think it will make you happy. It's your life. Don't settle.
Hany,
I really agree with this post. You will marry this girl, not your parents. I'm just saying that you don't know how she will be in 10 years from now. No one is perfect. If u find someone who is not arrogant, i'm sure you'll find other problems in her.
lol.. its frustrating.. isnt it??
[quote author=servant of God link=topic=6235.msg87209#msg87209 date=1210540785]
That said, you shouldn't do things that your parents tell you if you don't think it will make you happy. It's your life. Don't settle.
Hany,
I really agree with this post. You will marry this girl, not your parents. I'm just saying that you don't know how she will be in 10 years from now. No one is perfect. If u find someone who is not arrogant, i'm sure you'll find other problems in her.
lol.. its frustrating.. isnt it??
Hany, HARAM 3ALEK! SHe sounds really nice... eh dah? How can she care about u being alone and be arrogant at the same time?
Why don't your parents like her?? Ya3ni, what is it exactly they don't like??
I think its best not to make judgements about her too quickly. Also, perhaps your family don't get along with her family?
No one, ya Hany, can advise u on whether a girl is right for u or not, that's your choice. You have to pray for a long time, and make a decision.
Remember, unless your parents are going against the will of God,"Children obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. Honor your father and mother" (Eph 6:1,2). So, be cautious. Your parents will be contrary to God to choose a wife for you, because orthodoxy teaches that you and your wife will be ONE, and such unity can only happen if you two can be yoked.
Consider the following words in the wedding ceremony:
the priest reads the commandment to the bridegroom saying "My blessed son, who is supported by the grace of the Holy Spirit you are required to receive your wife at this blessed hour with a clear conscience, a pure soul and a full heart. Excel in doing all that is good for her. Have compassion on her and hasten to do that which will gladden her heart."
Then the priest reads the commandment for the bride "And you blessed daughter... you are required to honor and respect him, do not disagree with him but increase your obedience to him many times over what was commanded...So you must receive him with joy and cheer, do not frown in his face, do not neglect any of his rights upon you, and fear God in all matters with him."
This cannot spontaneously occur if both man and woman is not committed in Christ to consecrate the marriage to God, and for God, and with the blessings of God.
but I still don't know what to do with the depression that I have from this topic, ??? I'm very confused and very frustrated. Sometimes I even feel that God Himself left me alone, I know that I'm a big sinner, and I know that God should punish me for lots of things, but I feel bad that I cannot feel the presence of God with me. I feel that He doesn't want to help me,
you are right clay,
but I still don't know what to do with the depression that I have from this topic, ??? I'm very confused and very frustrated. Sometimes I even feel that God Himself left me alone, I know that I'm a big sinner, and I know that God should punish me for lots of things, but I feel bad that I cannot feel the presence of God with me. I feel that He doesn't want to help me,
Hi Hany,
Did you want God to make this girl fall in love with you? Why should He? He respects our free will. He wouldnt do anything ghazz bin 3anena.
Man, are u sure u are praying for His Will?
You know, Ford, when he created the 1st assembly line produced car, they said to him :"So, what colour do u want us to paint it?"
He said to them :"Paint it any colour u want, so long as its black".
I think, and I could be wrong Hany, that you are telling this to God :"God, let it be your will, so long as its this girl" . Then where is His will... and actually, God is respecting your will (by letting u do what u want),so you should respect His will at the very least, and not insist to the point its making u depressed.
Please pray for me,
Dude, you have to have confidence in His will!
Yeah,
and i wanna say a few words about how to have confidence in God's will.
Now, this is just my contemplation here, so feel free to correct me, or have me ex-communicated for heresy; but having confidence in His Will means (to me) not to worry.
I mean, if it doesnt work out with a girl, and u tried your best - BE SURE THAT GOD IS TAKING CARE OF U!
I mean, just knowing that, and trusting that in your heart is SOOOOO IMPORTANT. Do not doubt for a second that He has left u. EVER!!!!
THat's why Hany im telling u not to insist on anything - i mean, sure, try your best to know a girl etc.. but don't insist. If u keep on at it, its no longer God's will. I think by now she knows u like her. But u have to trust that if it NOT her, then God will give u someone that will love u. See what I mean!?
Why are u assuming that she's the best one for u?? U are assuming that. That's why I am saying to you in my previous posts: U DO NOT KNOW THE FUTURE!! U do not know anything!!! TRUST IN THE LORD.
Hany, look, let me tell u a story:
You're an Engineer - right? OK. THey sent me to Africa to go and build something for them. THere was a problem with a piece of equipment. Its VERY complex. U cannot imagine.
I called support back in Europe, and they put us through to some guy that was a real hot-shot. I mean, when i discovered that he was dealing with the case, I felt that it was as good as solved.
You know what he told me? he said "You are alone.. u fix it yourself. I don't know how to do it. It can't be done because u have to change the equipment completely!".
You know what, I fixed it. He was unaware himself of how to get over the issue. AFter it worked, i was literally singing. I was saying to myself that there's a pslam that says "Blessed is the man who puts His trust in the Lord, and not in men". And the worst part is this, HE forced me to tell him how i got it done. I told him :"Well.. there's a section in one of the documentation I read that explains what to do in such a situation. .. i came across it by luck".
Why do i think that some guy, because he's really famous, has the answers to my problems? Those who put their trust in the engineers that built Titanic.. it sank! Why are you also putting all your hopes in a girl that U DO NOT KNOW 100% if she's right for u or not!! U do not know!! U cannot predict the future!!!!
U know,when u use the word assume, you "make an ASS of U and ME"
You are assuming that u know what's best for u. You are assuming that she's the best person for u. WHy on earth do u need God for???
Why don't u just pray and say :"God, if she's the right one for me, let it happen, otherwise close this door".
THen u don't have to worry. You've done your best. Put a buteekha sefy in your stomach, and don't worry man.
Hey - did u like my response below?? Was it Orthodox? No one said anything!!! wallahata thank u!!?
Thanks very much for everyone's response as well, I don't know how to thank you all,
hahahah QT-PAT-2T i loved your response, you are great, ;D
Thanks very much for everyone's response as well, I don't know how to thank you all,
Hany, u seem like a really sweet guy.
Im glad it cheered u up, and i hope you will take my advice.
[quote author=clay link=topic=6235.msg87734#msg87734 date=1210842231]
Dude, you have to have confidence in His will!
Yeah,
and i wanna say a few words about how to have confidence in God's will.
Now, this is just my contemplation here, so feel free to correct me, or have me ex-communicated for heresy; but having confidence in His Will means (to me) not to worry.
I mean, if it doesnt work out with a girl, and u tried your best - BE SURE THAT GOD IS TAKING CARE OF U!
I mean, just knowing that, and trusting that in your heart is SOOOOO IMPORTANT. Do not doubt for a second that He has left u. EVER!!!!
THat's why Hany im telling u not to insist on anything - i mean, sure, try your best to know a girl etc.. but don't insist. If u keep on at it, its no longer God's will. I think by now she knows u like her. But u have to trust that if it NOT her, then God will give u someone that will love u. See what I mean!?
Why are u assuming that she's the best one for u?? U are assuming that. That's why I am saying to you in my previous posts: U DO NOT KNOW THE FUTURE!! U do not know anything!!! TRUST IN THE LORD.
Hany, look, let me tell u a story:
You're an Engineer - right? OK. THey sent me to Africa to go and build something for them. THere was a problem with a piece of equipment. Its VERY complex. U cannot imagine.
I called support back in Europe, and they put us through to some guy that was a real hot-shot. I mean, when i discovered that he was dealing with the case, I felt that it was as good as solved.
You know what he told me? he said "You are alone.. u fix it yourself. I don't know how to do it. It can't be done because u have to change the equipment completely!".
You know what, I fixed it. He was unaware himself of how to get over the issue. AFter it worked, i was literally singing. I was saying to myself that there's a pslam that says "Blessed is the man who puts His trust in the Lord, and not in men". And the worst part is this, HE forced me to tell him how i got it done. I told him :"Well.. there's a section in one of the documentation I read that explains what to do in such a situation. .. i came across it by luck".
Why do i think that some guy, because he's really famous, has the answers to my problems? Those who put their trust in the engineers that built Titanic.. it sank! Why are you also putting all your hopes in a girl that U DO NOT KNOW 100% if she's right for u or not!! U do not know!! U cannot predict the future!!!!
U know,when u use the word assume, you "make an ASS of U and ME"
You are assuming that u know what's best for u. You are assuming that she's the best person for u. WHy on earth do u need God for???
i must say lol this is a very good post
[quote author=QT_PA_2T link=topic=6235.msg87738#msg87738 date=1210844137]
[quote author=clay link=topic=6235.msg87734#msg87734 date=1210842231]
Dude, you have to have confidence in His will!
Yeah,
and i wanna say a few words about how to have confidence in God's will.
Now, this is just my contemplation here, so feel free to correct me, or have me ex-communicated for heresy; but having confidence in His Will means (to me) not to worry.
I mean, if it doesnt work out with a girl, and u tried your best - BE SURE THAT GOD IS TAKING CARE OF U!
I mean, just knowing that, and trusting that in your heart is SOOOOO IMPORTANT. Do not doubt for a second that He has left u. EVER!!!!
THat's why Hany im telling u not to insist on anything - i mean, sure, try your best to know a girl etc.. but don't insist. If u keep on at it, its no longer God's will. I think by now she knows u like her. But u have to trust that if it NOT her, then God will give u someone that will love u. See what I mean!?
Why are u assuming that she's the best one for u?? U are assuming that. That's why I am saying to you in my previous posts: U DO NOT KNOW THE FUTURE!! U do not know anything!!! TRUST IN THE LORD.
Hany, look, let me tell u a story:
You're an Engineer - right? OK. THey sent me to Africa to go and build something for them. THere was a problem with a piece of equipment. Its VERY complex. U cannot imagine.
I called support back in Europe, and they put us through to some guy that was a real hot-shot. I mean, when i discovered that he was dealing with the case, I felt that it was as good as solved.
You know what he told me? he said "You are alone.. u fix it yourself. I don't know how to do it. It can't be done because u have to change the equipment completely!".
You know what, I fixed it. He was unaware himself of how to get over the issue. AFter it worked, i was literally singing. I was saying to myself that there's a pslam that says "Blessed is the man who puts His trust in the Lord, and not in men". And the worst part is this, HE forced me to tell him how i got it done. I told him :"Well.. there's a section in one of the documentation I read that explains what to do in such a situation. .. i came across it by luck".
Why do i think that some guy, because he's really famous, has the answers to my problems? Those who put their trust in the engineers that built Titanic.. it sank! Why are you also putting all your hopes in a girl that U DO NOT KNOW 100% if she's right for u or not!! U do not know!! U cannot predict the future!!!!
U know,when u use the word assume, you "make an ASS of U and ME"
You are assuming that u know what's best for u. You are assuming that she's the best person for u. WHy on earth do u need God for???
i must say lol this is a very good post
Kerestina,
What a wonderful surprise of seeing you again.
What I tell Hany, I tell myself often.
God bless
I really in love with this Girl.....and I feel that she feels me, both of us care for eachother a lot, ofcourse I cannot say that she likes me back, but i know for sure that I'm very dear to her heart, she even say that.
She really cares about me, asks always about me, and listens to me for hours on MSN when I talk about my problems.
But....the problem is my parents.....they don't agree about her at all...and they are saying that she is not the right one for me....
Now my heart is breaking into bits...i love the girl so much and I wish I can just tell her that I have feelings for her, but on the same time my parents' opinion is paralysing me....and I tried many times with them but they don't agree.....
Ofcourse I cannot say NO to them....simply because they are my parents....but again everytime i see the girl i feel that I have more and more feelings for her....
Anyhelp?
I'm so sorry for talking about this a lot...but really i'm in a great pain