The Difference

edited September 2006 in Faith Issues
What is lust and what is love?


  • As HH put it quiete well:

    lust always takes
    love always gives

    i have absolutely no experience with this whatsoever (only 17 years old :-\) but if u really love someone, u'd wish the best for him/her even at ur own cost, even if it means u cant be with that person...
  • Lust is not love. Lust may seem love at times but it is really false love that leads to destruction...If you really love someone true love, you will love them from all your heart true, everlasting, uncondtional love, love that never fails. Remember that the greatest love is to lay down ones life for his friends..(John 15:13), this doesnt just mean to die for someone, but to sacrifice a lot of things for the person whom you love...

    ( i hope this makes any sense..sorry bad explanation im not really sure either what the difference is:-[)
  • I got no experience in this ethier :-\ but im guessing that because Lust immitates Love its very hard to distinguish them with bold black and white characteristics. Lust can do a pretty good job imitating Love! So i guess the only way to tell is to stick with the relationship or dont stick with it and see if you still disier it after quite a few months. Thats why im guessing its a good idea to wait a long time before getting married :-\ Because Lust can't stand the test of time like Love . . . anyone get what im saying ??? Also look at the atmosphere whats the relationship based on ?
  • Good point, and i'd also wonder y u like the person, is it caus of his/her good looks, or u like to spend time with him/her caus of the personality. Also pray a lot and ask ur FOC for advice, as he's the person that knows u well.
  • That's simple... If you're 12, its not love; regardless of what you may think.
  • i dont think it matters by age. i think it matters on maturity. the only way i think that ull no is if gods is in the relationship and it does not harm god and the time u praise him. u should always cunsult your father of confsion and tell him how u feel and he probably can tell u :)hope that helped ;)
  • ok lets put it this way if you go around checking people out, then thats not love, thats lust.
  • Very true, but back on the age topic I think age doesnt really matter but the younger you are the less likely its love and the more likely its just someone falling into the decit of lust. Less likely but still not impossible...
  • i think its just that love is stronger, it survives longer and doesnt give in to time. and no matter wat happenes in the end, if its love then both people will be happy for the other and wish them a happy life with or without them, always look at gods love for us, thats the onyl way to differentiate between true ove and lust, ask yourself..did God/would God do something like this for me?....
  • To me, love isn't something that you can just talk about among a group of people. There aren't any "signs" to look for. To me love is all about caring for someone more than yourself to the extent that if that person is happy, so are you. Love is when the hardest thing to do is say goodbye to someone you truly love. It doesn't matter what that person looks like because to you, they will always be the best, regardless. And if you find deep in yourself that if put on the line you'd be willing to risk your life for that person, that is true love.

  • wow! i cudnta said it better myself!.... sleepy..u nailed it
  • To add my thoughts to sleepy's. I'll try to come up with something personal without a reiteration of the treatise in Corinthians.

    Love is firstly a choice, not a feeling. You <b>choose</b>, not suddenly moved by this sensation in your stomach that you 'love' them. Lust is a strong feeling/sensation for something in the other person: their looks, the way they make you feel, their intelligence, their money, etc.

    Love is content with what it has. Lust will always want more and more. It will demand more and more, being self-centered and just wanting to satisfy itself. Love however looks with compassion and mercy, and says,"The way you are, I'm content with it." Love desires change and perfection, but doesn't push it. It is far too patient and understanding.

    Love can live without feelings. Lust dies with feelings. Feelings is what it is made of. Love, though, has a welcomed flavour when it has the feelings feeding it. Yet without feelings, the flavour is still there, but not as 'exciting' or 'whoah'. Its flavour is long-lasting rather than momentary.

    Finally, lust is not faithful. Because lust is self-centered, if it's not getting what it wants, it leaves. Flat out cold. Love though stays. Even when the person is weak and rejected, love stays and with time, grows stronger simply the commitment it swore by. Lust, though, is no-strings and enjoys a freedom. A promise or commitment kills it because it likes to jump around, simply satisfied by the moment.

    Hopefully, that was helpful.


  • i agree with most of what u guys said
    especially how mina summed it up
    but after reading all that you guys have said, another question arises
    say i like this guy, or this guy likes some girl.... but they're "liking" for them fits all the characteristics of love that u have described above... but they're still not mature yet
    how can u explain that to them without misleading them?

    i mean if a teenager read what u guys just wrote.... they'd think.. o, well that describes my feelings exactly towards.... so that must mean im in love! thats not the way i think... but its a possibility of how most kids my age do think

    any feedback? plz?
  • Hmm, that's a really good question. I guess we could come across the situation asking, how do you know that your feelings for this person are true? How do you know that you're not being led on...
    Then you could go on from there to question it's acurateness...if there's such a

  • anybody else?
    its always a question that confused me... what am i supposed to tell somebody that believes that they're really in love at such an immature age?
  • Often times, a teen will rd what uve written here and say yes I must be 'truly' in love since that is 'exactly' how i feel MOMENTARILY!

    u see, i emphasize that last word 'momentarily' ... i think in this case, one should examine themselves HONESTLY and after SOME time .. meaning a long time... examine yourself again.. and see if you r still willing to do all those things said b4 for this one person.. r u willign to sacrifice ur happiness for theirs?
    r u r u r u.. n so on and so forth............

    anyways, hope this helps..

    I think if u really love someone, ull let them GROW with their feelings and allow them to mature as time goes by... dont rush things.. thats very key.

    Goodnight all God bless.
  • [quote author=SMS link=board=1;threadid=520;start=0#msg8592 date=1092166330]
    but after reading all that you guys have said, another question arises
    say i like this guy, or this guy likes some girl.... but they're "liking" for them fits all the characteristics of love that u have described above... but they're still not mature yet
    how can u explain that to them without misleading them?

    Well, to be honest, if the two people can honestly identify with what i pointed out, they must be mature enough to see the difference. if they say,'yeah, thats how i feel right now', they've already proven that it's feelings-based and thus they've missed the point of the whole difference.

    I was funnily enough thinking about this question yesterday after I posted. What I thought of is what Elizabeth Eliot said in her book,"Passion and Purity" - can the guy prove he truly loves the girl by asking her to get married? According to her (as she echoes the Bible), marriage is proof that you love and will love, no matter what. If they are too young to marry, are they ready to be together as brother and sister until the appropriate time to be married? Brother and sister, not boyfriend and girlfriend. Finally, are they ready to let go of eachother, for now or possibly permanently, if the Lord reveals that they are not suited?

    These are simply my thoughts and I think these questions can truly uncover the true intentions of two people who think they love eachother truly as the questions touch on the real issues around love.

    What does everybody else think?

  • good stuff
    Mina, that was awesome... and unconditional... i didnt think before to mention that love can be momentarily...
    i mean i alwayz thought that that would be considered a crush.. i always thought that there was only one kind of love... true love that u get at a mature age
    from what i understand... if we're not at a mature age... we can still feel love? it just wont be true love...
    i dont know if that made sense.. but i like the way u guys word things.. hopefully u understnad what i'm trying to say here
  • from the characteristics of true love outlined above.. someone might think they r in true love at the moment they rd our discussion if it applies to them... and they look at their feelings and connect to what we ve described as true love... and they might think yes then i must really be in love with this person... like if they feel they r willing to die or do nehting for the other person at the moment they rd what we've written here, they might think that it is LOVE. However I say, one must assess the situation further down the line and connect with the other person they think theyr in love with from time to time.. and see whats going on.. again communication is key as always.. and I say again, dont rush things.. cuz u never know how you or the other person might feel later on in time..

    hope that cleared things up a bit!

    God Bless.
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