Forgiveness

edited December 1969 in Personal Issues
Hi,

Does forgiveness mean to forget? I mean, how on earth can u forget something?

I mean, let's say someone cuts off your arm in a fight. U forgive them. U both become friends afterwards. The fact u have no arm reminds u of what he did to u. So, how on earth can u forget???

Comments

  • [quote author=vassilios link=topic=5098.msg68500#msg68500 date=1173802273]
    Hi,

    Does forgiveness mean to forget? I mean, how on earth can u forget something?

    I mean, let's say someone cuts off your arm in a fight. U forgive them. U both become friends afterwards. The fact u have no arm reminds u of what he did to u. So, how on earth can u forget???


    what did Christ do. HE said "When I forgive I forget." than why not us to.
    yes it's hard to do, i myself don't do it almost all the time  but you try. btw, when you confess to ur FoC, all the sins u say after the absultion and the liturgy its all forgotten. he as a priest have to forget it.
  • [quote author=vassilios link=topic=5098.msg68503#msg68503 date=1173804740]
    Yeah, OK... im into forgiveness.. its great. Of course we should forgive. but how do u forget when the memory of what was done to you is not forgotten? I mean... u lose an arm. OK? U forgive and FORGET the person that broke it off. But everytime u try and pick up something, u CANNOT HELP but be reminded that you have no longer an arm.

    How then can u forget?

    OK.. forget - that's fine.. but what do u do everytime u realise u have NO ARM?

    Let's say a priest asks u :"Hey! WHat happened to your arm?" And u say "Well.. someone was mad at me, and they got a knife and cut it off" . Then they'll say :"Hey! You should forget!! Don't remember the bad things that someone has done".

    Then let's say u say to the priest instead "Yes. I have no arm.. I forgot how i lost it. I remember it was with me a few days ago, and now i have no arm".

    Doesnt that sound a bit ridiculous ?? surely he'll say :"Ohh.. that's a bit careless to even forget!!"

    What if someone steals all your life savings; and you forgive and forget. When your wife asks u "Darling, where's all our life savings? " - and you say "I forgot"; surely that would make matters worse!!!!


    i think when talking about forgetting is not mentioning as much. also not holding on the person if ur talking to him or doing anything with them. for example if you know that this person did wrong to you but he than changed changed and became one of ur freinds. you than shouldn't hold what he did to you befre when advising him for example.
  • [quote author=vassilios link=topic=5098.msg68506#msg68506 date=1173807094]
    Mina,

    I didnt get what u said mate,

    How can u forget ???? How can u forget u no longer have an arm?

    What do u mean then "forget" ?? Does forget mean "not to hold anything against that person?" If that's the case, FINE! That makes sense if that's what u mean.

    not literlly but it's very close. but also not in ur conscienes.
  • [coptic]+ Iryny nem `hmot>[/coptic]

    [quote author=vassilios link=topic=5098.msg68506#msg68506 date=1173807094]
    Does forget mean "not to hold anything against that person?"


    That is exactly what it means to forget.  As humans, our brains function in such a way that we learn from our experiences and develop memories of events, things we've read, and things we've seen.  As Christians, we are told to forgive and forget.  But what does it mean to forget?  Clearly, as you've pointed out, it is difficult to erase from our minds very traumatic experiences we've had (in the case of a lost arm).  However, the feelings of anger, hatred and bitterness are what we are told to forget.  Thus, should you lose an arm as a result of a confrontation with someone, and later forgive the person, clearly you will never forget what they did to you.  However, what you should forget is the rage and hate you felt about the person who caused you the harm.  In fact, the ultimate act of forgiveness would be to give an excuse for the person, in much the same manner that Christ did on the Cross (when He said, 'Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do').  That is what we should all strive for and practice.  That is what true [coptic]agape[/coptic] love is.

    Please pray for me.
  • i agree with Κηφᾶς when we say we forgot about something after we forgive it is not necessarily forgetting literally but to not hold what the person did to you against them. so if someone cuts off your arm and you forgive them you should never bring up what they did. becuase if you did then you didn't really forgive them. and if you don't forgive and forget God cannot forgive you for anything you have done. that is why we say "forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us."

    God Bless and Pray for me and my weakness
  • hey ppl

    ok how can u truly forgive someone if u dont forget?

    Kristina123
  • Heya

    ok how can u say u truly forgive someone if u still remember what they did to u - if u still remember thats gonna still effect u - right?

    i think we need to define the terms "forget" and "forgive"

    and whats more if Christ said it - how can it b impossible?

    Kristina123
  • kris123,

    … I believe one can forget but still carry the memory in the back of their mind but what’s more important is how this influences their relationship. i mean yes your friend may have accidentally cut off your arm but when you reflect or talk about it is there still withheld anger or grudges.... or have you moved on......people will ALWAYS remember negative or traumatic experiences especially if you have physical scars from it but the key is to not let your past influence your behaviour or attitude towards others........

    Forgiving is allowing another person to be human for faults or mistakes. Forgiving is letting another know that there is no grudge, hard feelings, for any wrongdoing. Forgiving is the act of love between you and a person who has hurt you; the bandage that holds the wound together long enough to heal
    Forgetting is putting these behind you; they are no longer brought up and no longer remain a barrier to your relationship. Forgetting is the lack of further discussion, with no ongoing negative references to the event. Forgetting is your commitment to let go of anger, hurt, and pain over this offense. Its ok to discuss it with your FOC or partner or whatever but by reminding the person who hurt you………your doing no body any favors


    ps sorry bout posting this so many times
  • nothing is impossible with christ, god said forgive and forget
    i know for most of us, forgive is hard to do but forgetting is even harder. Just dont hold a grudge on that person
    if u really forgive then u have to forget

    hope i helped
    pray for me

    EgY
  • i dont know egy....................most ppl cant forget such traumatic or distressful scenarios but what they do is push the memory into their unconscience but i think its important to find ways of dealing with that withheld anger and pain and that can only happen thru God as you say
  • about forgiveness... why do we ask for forgiveness when we pray (through the agpeya, for example) when we know that we can only be forgiven through confession?
  • [coptic]+ Iryny nem `hmot>[/coptic]

    [quote author=person55 link=topic=5098.msg68758#msg68758 date=1174154141]
    about forgiveness... why do we ask for forgiveness when we pray (through the agpeya, for example) when we know that we can only be forgiven through confession?


    Confession is not an isolated event that occurs in a room with abouna and that's it.  It is an ongoing, daily thing that we perform, and is integrated deeply with the prayers that we say in the agpeya.  A verbal and audible absolution is given when we confess in front of a priest, but don't think that that is the only form of confession that is acceptable to our Lord.

    Please pray for me.
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