Brother- URGENT!

edited December 1969 in Personal Issues
Hey you guys. I have a little problem here. Ok I have 4 brother and have almost no relationship with two of them. One of them my sister and I were talking with tonight, and he seemed to be always looking at negative side of things. I was like, why don't you ever be positive, look on the good side of things. He, unfortunately said negatives are always more, and always prevail. Yet I argued and told him that if you keep God in you and love him you will be positive. This went on and we got more into religion and... I can't explain this. He, he doesn't know God at all. I asked him if he wanted God, he said yes, but not in his life. I, stunned, asked how that was possible. He said for others. I asked him if he wanted to go to hell, he said no. I asked him where he would go on Judgement Day (not that he chooses, just to get him thinking). He said in between. I told him there is no in between, either heaven or hell. He's completely lost. I feel REALLY bad for him.

Ok. Please you guys, I'm begging you here, I do not want lectures on how my parents should have acted or how he got to this or anything. I want to know, what can I say to him the next time I see him to make him want to know more then than ever. And how I can overall improve his attitude and perspective on life.

Please you guys, this is urgent.


  • Christ4Life,

    The best thing you can do is pray that your brother truly opens his eyes and sees/discovers the blessing that God sends our way every single second.

    Try to be positive always and when you go to church show how happy you are that you’re going to meet Our Heavenly Father.

    Read the bible as much as you can and talk about it with your siblings I’m sure the more you guys sit and discuss together the more your brother will be interested and he himself will want to come and join in on the discussions.

    No matter what actions speak louder then words, if your actions reflect how much God is wonderful and how much your happy cause God is in your life, heart, soul, mind, thoughts, etc. then your brother will definitely take note of that and will start slowly but surly changing is attitude and ways.

    I will remember your brother in my prayers.

    In His Name
  • Hi Christ4life, try to interest ur brother in the lives of the saints especially the warrior saints such as Saint George, st Mina etc.
    Try to get saint movies from church or something and watch them with him. Kids love the saints and their stories can help bring them to God. How old is he by the way?
    Remember it is going to be a gradual thing…I don’t think it is a good idea to jump directly to the heavy stuff straight away. Continue to pray for him and u could also talk to for confession father.
  • that is a gr8 idea
  • God be with you as you battel this! I agree with both joyisGod and Eh ya botros. I will be praying for you and your brother!
  • he is older than me, almost 18. Marmar, your brother from now on is in my prayers. you all are. and thank you guys so much, you can't imagine how this has made me feel.
  • As a trained councillor we examine all the entities and their relationship with each other. As you can imagine this process take several sessions and cover a wide aspect area that you may not wish to cover publicly on the internet. In addition there might be answers that only your brother knows.

    My answer here will consist of options to pursue instead of great detail for the reasons explained above. Whatever option you choose be prepared for perhaps a long stay for it is unlikely to be quick fix solutions.

    What is the problem?
    1) Your relationship with your brother is not a close one.
    2) You would like your brother to be more religious.

    What is your ideal outcome?
    1) You have a closer relationship with your brother.
    2) You want your brother to be more religious.

    It is wrong to assume that the problem lies with your brother based on the fact that he is the common thread in the above. Assumption is dangerous and cannot be taken for granted.

    To tackle point (1) above you need to consider options to get you and he closer. Look at and compare what makes and why you are closer with others (differences). On the same theme look at the differences between you and your brother (age, friends, schools, upbringing, favouritism etc….). When you have an idea of what you have you may be in a better position to tackle the problem.

    To Tackle point (2) this is something that your brother must choose to do. I agree that being a more practising Christian would help him all round (as the saying goes “will make him an all rounded egg”). Whether he choose Christ, ignores him or get a calling has little to do unfortunately. However, you can make church going more interesting to get him started. If you is a good Christian then through your ACTIONS he will also become one. In your relationship with him do become more tolerant and also a good listener – remember that God gave us two ears and one mouth (not two – although with some people it seems that they have more than one!) so you must listen more than talk with him. Try and put yourself in his shoes and so try and see his way and why – you do not have to agree with it but understand and respect it. Remember this is not the Egyptian parliament where a democracy is made up of just one party and the one that shouts the loudest is the right one (look for the “Tune” button and not the “Volume” one !).

    We must not forget parents and the life time role they have to play so you may wish to speak to them also. They should not only pass their knowledge but also act as an indepent third part mediator.

    Lastly as we are on a religious sight you may wish to consult your priest about your concerns. You have to remember that whilst lots of people turn to priests in time of relationship troubles (such as divorce and separation) these people are often disappointed when the outcome is not the desired one – and I have to ask as to why do people expect any different. A priest is not a marriage or relationship fixer – they do not get trained in relationship issues for they are men of God and can help you with religious issues. However, their marriage is an example to follow. The best that a priest does is to pray to God – and that is something that you should be doing anyway. I do not wish to enter the argument of Quantity v Quality of prayers at this moment in time but if you feel that God will listen more (!) if both you and a priest are praying than just you (!) then go for it.

    I could go on for a long time but like I said a counselling session does take a long time and from my experience these things do take time. As the saying goes, “time is a great healer”, however this is something I do not share for I believe that “time” does not heal or have any magical powers, but we as humans tend to forget and forgetness seems like healing and that is false until the problem resurrects itself, and therefore the problem need tacking.

    Hope this helped for what its worth.
  • the problem is my brother is not religious. i will live if im not close with my brother, but my conscience will always nag me if he stays the way he is.

    i want more replies!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  • hi Christ4life,
    i mostly agree with everything that has been said above.
    yes a picture tells a thousand words but an action tells a thousand pictures. so as people sed earlier read the Bible involve him in it, do little Bible studies with him, in most conversations include God in it, tell him bout the church and upcoming events at church, talk to your confession father and get him to talk to him, get him to pray with you, take him to a monastry if u have 1 get him to stay there for a couple of days but that is way after, get vidios as eh ya botros sed, get more books about the church slowly with all these things enshaella hell b interested in the church. God is such a merciful God He will always chase after that 1 sheep and leave the 99 i think everything will be ok as MarMar said as st Monica prayed for her son for 20 years not 40 and after he got baptised he went to his mother st monica and said mum i got baptised twice, 1nce in the church and the second by your tears, aslo as marmar sed st moses the black there are so many people we can look up to make sure you tell him those stories they r wonderful and God will surely open his eyes in the right time i will def. keep your brother and marmars brother in my prayers also write their names on the alter, never underestimate the power of the alter

    Rabena ma3akom and keep praying!!! and always fully rely on God and do your best and God will do the rest ;)

    GB ALL
  • I mostly agree with everything said previously.

    Maybe you should get a priest involved. You said that your brother is older than you, so maybe he won't take you that serious. Talk to your parents about it, and to abouna. Abouna could call him, ask what's wrong and so on (they have their methods ;)).

    Rabena ma3akom, I'm praying for you guys. GBU
  • Never let the negatives overcome the positives. there's a sermon about this somewhere that's really aweosme and will help in a big way. I'll find the info if you want it.

  • Im 2 lazy 2 read what all you guys wrote...but i did read the half of the first 1...all you need 2 do is pray... i dont exactly know your specific situation so i think u shud talk 2 ur father of confession.
  • What does your brother do for a living?

    Perhaps a career or part time job in a Christian job may open the door to God and the benefits he may bring to others in need. Certainly by acting and doing a Christian deed it will bring him closer to God and also closer to people (including his sister that loves him and cares about him).
  • What I always say is that: Don't think negative, think positive because if you think negative it will be negative, but if you think positive God will help you no matter what!
  • If anyone knows the name to the sermon that I'm talking about, please help me out because I can't remember who said it. ??? It's basically dealing with the same thing. Don't let the negatives outweigh the!!! Please!!! lol

  • when ur brother goes to church tell him to talk to abouna

    older brothers dont listen to their younger sisters but they will listen to abouna

    God Bless
  • [quote author=Christ4Life link=board=10;threadid=2122;start=0#msg32937 date=1121837479]
    the problem is my brother is not religious. i will live if im not close with my brother, but my conscience will always nag me if he stays the way he is.

    i want more replies!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    [move][glow=pink,2,300]TRY TO MAKE HIM GO TO CHURCH AND TALK TO ABOUNA!!!!![/glow][/move]
  • [quote author=christiangrlforevr link=board=10;threadid=2122;start=15#msg59778 date=1156732433]
    when ur brother goes to church tell him to talk to abouna

    older brothers dont listen to their younger sisters but they will listen to abouna

    God Bless

    [glow=purple,2,300]lol sisters think alike :D lol[/glow]
  • if ur bro aint religious then u cant do anything or say anything that will change him... wat u do is set a good example for him... i had the same situation and my brother started going to church because he saw me going... and u need to pray for him and let God work his wonders with him!! ask the Lord to reveal himself to him... be patient with your prayers and never loose hope
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