so i was 8 when a family member tried to rape me. I was innocent and didn't know what that person was doing other than the fact I knew it wasn't right. A couple years later middle school I got hooked up in pornography and its still an issue. In high school a girl who used to be a friend started sexually assaulting me (no one knew) and she didn't even know what happened to me. I become horrified of her. A few months later I was forced to stay home alone with that family member and he attempted to rape me again. I was frozen and i didn't bother stopping him bc i was horrified so i just let him hurt me. Im not planning to tell anyone but I feel like God hates me bc i didn't stop him or that girl. im suffering bad depression and anxiety and my faith is really shaken bc i feel like i disappointed God. Any advice?