a question

edited December 1969 in Faith Issues
i have a question for u guys and i would like 2 know wut u think...
i have a friend who has a girlfriend (my friend is a guy), and it's really gotten out or hand and i've tried convincing him that he should stop, or at least try to hide thier relationship when they r around church, but he doesn't want 2 listen, so wut should i do?
and....i know wishes usually don't come true, but is it wrong, 2 want them 2 break up, even though both of them r going 2 feel hurt?
help!!! :-\


  • I think you should tell an Abouna and let him take care of things. And obviously pray a lot too. Hehe...I learned that in Sunday School ;D.

  • how old is he

    you know if you ask a psychologist about that, he will tell you this is parental abuse... any dating under 16 should not be allowed to date by the parents.
  • ok ok HOOOOOOLD ON for a second there
    everybody here is being harsh on that person and being harsh and just saying ya completely stop it will make both the boy and the girl even more stubborn and just running to an abouna and telling them, sorry is not always the right solution, its the right solution if it is YOUR own problem because if a person has a problem that would like to get abouna's help on it he will go to abouna not you going to help him. BUT you can go to abouna say i have a friend and NOT mention that friends name and get advice from him and tell ur friend what the clegry advice is.
    Ok servant of God i have no clue what your friend does around church and i don't konw if their parents know of the situation or not BUT one thing i learned is that if somebody is being stubborn about something doesn't matter what you keep saying they will only learn AFTER they go through the entire experience. Of course you can pray for him and her but don't say let them break up say please God do the best for both of them because you never know maybe that is a Heavenly match that none of us could see from now.
  • I personally think u should leave it as it is...until ur friend realize tht he might be doing something wrong (if u even consider it wrong)...if he doesn't realize it...then maybe he is really committed to tht person and it might lead to a serious relationship...so I guess wut I am saying is Leave it all in God's hands...bc u wouldn't wanna hurt them both
    God Bless,
  • i know...how about we seriously encourage the FRIENDS ROUTE...if they care for each other they'll be friends instead of messing up each others reputation and potentially gettin each other in trouble (whether with abounas or parents etc.) ...wasim is right in saying that sometimes SOME PEOPLE are real stubborn especially when it comes to relationships caz relationships so subjective n hence, reall "justifiable" and wont change until they go thru the experience and get a point of realization that yea so n so is wrong...so maybe this person is like that...but as a friend, advise n pray he listens. If not, inshallah he'll come around caz we always end up coming out of relationships saying two things: a) Ouchh & b) M not gonna do that again for a loonnnnnng time which really says sumthin bout relationships

    and u might even wanna recommend "I kissed dating goodbye" by josh harris (just a suggestion)...you know your friend...m not sure if ur friend would take the time to read it but if he would then yaa its a good read..
  • I don't think it's right if your 14 or 74...marriage is a thing of God and I'm positive he can take care of who you're going to end up with without us meddling in and dating people..and as someone probably said.."friendship" is a great way to know someone and you never have to create that bond of "boyfriend and girlfriend" and create requirements for yourslef. By requirements I mean, holding hands and etc....this is going to come up soon if two people are going to be considered together..Some will say.."christian dating" when both of you agree to like each other without anything wrong. There is no such thing. It can exist but isn't that the same as a friendship?? so why must we call it dating anyway? Simply ask your friend why he's dating this girl. If he really liked her and she liked him then they wouldn't want to date because they know that when they break up, both will be hurt and that's not love..If they think that this is going to lead to marriage, maybe, although I doubt it.
  • GUYS.... they are 14... c'mon now, their brains are not developed for relationships... Mentally, a bit physically, which is the problem, and they will do mistakes, and not think of the consequences.... there is a huge difference between 14, and 74... 74 will think not to hurt their partner, but 14 will not even know. “Christian datingâ€?... C'MON, these are all tricks from the devil, and we are all falling for it. What would two teens do when they are alone? They will not play a game of cards... but rather play different kind of game. All teens, which are of this age, have a misunderstanding of relationships. I don’t know how these parents are approving these things....
  • What if they really understand the difference between right and wrong. What if they know that they won't do these things until they get married..what if they truly understand these...and they are only dating as a way of step over the friendship...and they are truly commited to each other. I doubt that every teen is the same in these stuff...maybe they are more mature in their thinking in this kinda of stuff...idk...but I don't think anyone have the right to interfere between them, because like other people said... it might be a plan from God that they would be together
  • God does not create evil... and evil will happen if they proceed. David was a mature man and he fell in the sin... Samson in all his might, fell in the sin, so what about a teen, who is unable to comprehend his, especially HIS actions.... the males could support me on this, if a male is in "heat" he will not think straight, and the girl of course wants him to stay with her, thus she will agree to many things.... they are opening the door of temptation… and if they proceed the temptation will get in.
  • coptic4life, i have tried convincing them to just be friends, but they just don't listen....whenever they're together, i get all upset becauset they know it's wrong, and the whole church knows about wut they're doing but they insisist that it's not wrong. :'(
  • boso ba2a you guys are miss understanding me i didn't say leave them till they have sex, but at the same time don't be stepping on his toes like you guys doing. Stay in the middle, ooooh i know this going to make everybody mad or whatever bas they are not wrong what they are doing as long as they don't go as far as kissing and sex and all that
  • it will happen, are you kidding me.... they will not control themselves... what person could.... C'mon you are a guy and you know exactly how we think.
  • Everyone is different...i am not saying they wouldn't get temptaion...but we don't even know those people to know what they will think when they get those temptations...they might act very mature toward it and fight it...
  • what 14 year old could.... we are just tricking ourselves, and this is a very good trick that the devil has been using, and has been hurting our youth with.
  • "Watch and pray, lest you enter into temptation. The spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak." Matthew 26:41

    WATCH.... and.... PRAY.... remember WATCH
  • I think you should mind your own bizness. Seriously, it will come back and hit him in the face sooner or later. He will learn on his own how stupid he is for getting into a relationship that early. And you should be by your friend's side at all times. He will be hurt later on and u have to be there for him.
  • I agree with what u said...that there will be a time when they will learn on their own whether what they are doing is right or not...but some people think we should tell them and advice them of what's right and what's wrong...because it's our responsibility to advice younger people...but i think all of this should be left in God's hand and God will do what's right
  • We need to inform these teens... we cannot just wait and see him get hurt.... that is wrong... then what are we gonna do with our expierience, we need to help them and tell them... we cant just watch him do mistakes

    “Anyone, then, who knows the good he ought to do and doesn't do it, sins.� James 4:17
    So we need to do our good and inform them.
  • but i think all of this should be left in God's hand and God will do what's right

    God works through his Children
  • [quote author=socoolbishoy link=board=1;threadid=1033;start=15#msg17673 date=1105216738]
    We need to inform these teens... we cannot just wait and see him get hurt.... that is wrong... then what are we gonna do with our expierience, we need to help them and tell them... we cant just watch him do mistakes

    Well if we ourselves learned from our expereince...why don't we let other people learn from their experience as well...why do we have to make rules and things that wasn't applied to us...u knw wut i mean??
    God Bless,
  • The kid is 14. He knows what is right from wrong. Leave him alone. He will soon realize his mistakes, and use the experience later on in his life when he is making more critical decisions. And it’s his parents job to raise him up right, its your job to be by his side when he is hurting from their beating. LoL Shout outs to Nazbert Nazonian.
  • FallenCopt, Marianne87, and Nabert Nazonian i bow my hat and head down to you three.
  • The kid is 14. He knows what is right from wrong.

    think back when you were their.... not a lot of knowlege.... if I knew then, what I know now, I would be a better person... so why not make him become a better person. we need to make rules so that they may be as good, and better than any of us... they are the next priests, monks and bishops.
  • Why would he follow these rules...what would make him follow it?
  • if he chooses not to... then its his fault.... but at least he was informed...
  • duuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuude now your just messing with time intervals you can't make 14 year old people think as 17 year old people you can't jump the gun like that you can't take 5 steps at a time its impossible unless you can fly and that a different story and you saying they are the future dude we are not 50 yet or 100 or dead we can still be priest monks and what not IF God had that planned for us. We all are still of the same generation every 10 years is a decade and a generation so even those 10 years old people are in our generations too.
    (at least that is how i look at it)
  • u still didn't answer my question...why would he choose to follow it...he will do what he believes is right before following what others people do, at least that's what I will do if I am in his/her own place...I will do what I believe is right and what my heart and mind tell me it's right...before I follow other rules. Anyway to get to the point, I think we could just leave them experience what they are going through right now...not experience bad things, I mean experience being in a relationship...becuase no one knows what they will think about it later in life...whether they will think it's wrong or right...
    A 14 year old isn't a kid, he is a teenager
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