im in trouble

hi all, im new to the site, in need of help. im coptic, in mid-20's, used to be a good girl, never did anything sexual & kept myself pretty clean. then, i got tired of waiting, no one good was taking interest in me & getting harder to control my sexuality. so in short, this guy asked me out and i said yes. that's when a lot of my probs started. weve done a few sexual things, mostly touching, no sex. my issue is that i have trouble forgiving myself and i feel an overwhelming amount of guilt, even tho ive been to confession and my foc gave me absolution. i also spoke to a therapist and told me it was fine. i feel my relationship with God is failing as well and that ive ruined my chances for marriage in the future. just need prayers, not in a good place right now.


  • may God guide you.
    we all sin and God forgives us all when we confess.
    maybe you could make this fast a time of Bible study and prayer so that you learn more of God's forgiveness.
  • May God bless you any give you strength. As mabsoota said, none of us are without sin. But the Lord Jesus Christ died that we might be saved through the shedding of His blood. God loves you more than you can imagine, and wants you more than you want Him. Our Saviour kindly tells us, "Come unto me, all you that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest." Matthew 11:28. May the prayers of the saints be with you always and be as our refuge of intercessions in front of our merciful and loving God. 

    Finally, the fathers teach us that "Repentance can turn adulterers into virgins". God bless you and may You rejoice in Him and be embraced in His overwhelming joy and peace. 

    Blessed fast to all :)
  • Hello,

    The feelings of guilt that you are having can be destructive and may be from the devil. You have repented, you have confessed, it is done. God forgave you.

    The devil's aim is to let you self-destruct by pushing you down. Every time you experience negative feelings you need to challenge these feelings. Say, it is by God's compassion that I am forgiven and the way forward is to work hard at keeping my life pure.

    Talking to a therapist can be helpful but you must bear in mind that they cannot counsel on right and wrong with regards to your christian values.

    You are not ruining your relationship with God, you are actually taking a step towards getting to know God and the devil is twisting your perspective on this.

    Your chances for marriage are the same as any individual. You are someone who struggled through and asked God for help. In fact, your life with God is now stronger than it has ever been. The devil will continue to try and lower your self esteem to send you into despair and lead you back onto the path of sin. Don't give in.

    The things we go through in life are necessary to bring us closer to God. If it wasn't for mistakes, how would we know about God's compassion and love? Get to know God's love and you will not be disappointed. He heals all pain, guilt and mends the broken heart.
  • hi all, thanks for the responses. thanks mabsoota, hope He foc told me not to take communion when i do this stuff and its been more frequent and kinda dont wanna give up either my relationship with God (as awful as it is right now) or my relationship with this person. thanks joekeliny. mnc_hnn, all therapists ive spoken to so far have all been Christian. i dont feel closer to God, i feel like my foc gave me an ultimatum and its pushing me away from God, either choose this guy or choose God, which is not fair...bc all i ever wanted out of life were three things, one of them being a relationship...all my relationships have failed in the past and now that i finally have a good one, im supposed to just give it up?...i dont know, please pray for me.
  • edited February 2015

    I think its a good idea that you take the relationship slow...very slow, and I am not only referring to the physical aspect. Also, ask yourself this: would I feel more devastated if this relationship falls apart with this guy or would I be more devastated that my relationship is falling apart with God? Are you in a relationship with this person because he loves God, is part of the body of Christ, is looking out for your salvation? These are some things to think about seriously.

    Remember also that your chastity is something so very precious. Do not throw it away on this relationship; and from the way you describe it, it appears that this relationship is harmful to your spiritual life. I have some extra things to say but I will send you a private message....

  • They all made good comments and good advices. i just want you always remember two FACTS:
    i hope you understand arabic, if you do, watch this 15min video: 

  • thanks, well i talked to him and turns out im not worth his time so he broke up with me...problem solved :'(
  • Read the psalms; you'll find them comforting during this time :)

  • I think that it's best to not be in a relationship until one is spiritually ready for something that should be solely based on God and revolving around him. When you repent, forgive yourself and don't let the guilt stray through your mind (it will only bring negative thoughts). One of my favorite verses says love God with all your heart, with all your mind, and with all your strength. Then, you will not be disappointed and inshallah God will bless you with a relationship when he thinks the time is right. Just focus on coming closer to God and he will bless you!

    God Bless<3
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