Friend commiting sins...what to tell him??

edited December 1969 in Personal Issues
Hey everyone
One of my friends from church has been engaging in sexual activity...and I think he can actually have sex soon if I don't tell him something. I'm 19 and my friends about 2 months younger. We've been friends for a while, and I'm afraid to tell him something hurtful that can hurt our friendship :( I want him to stop! And I'm afraid to tell Abouna... What should I say to him to show him that what he's doing is wrong????????

Fellow in Christ,



  • Talk to him and warn him that his actions will have consequences
  • If everything else fails ,then stay away from him.Bad company corrupts good morals.
  • the bottom line is his relationship with God. if he loves God (and believes in Him), he will want to stop.
    so talk about God, see where he is at. then ask him what he wants out of this romantic relationship and why.

    if he wants to stay in the church, explain that is actually easier not to do the sin than to do it, then repent of it, then pay the child maintenance etc. etc.
    if he doesn't care about God, then ask him if he cares for his girlfriend (i am assuming it's a girl, but i know some people also struggle with same sex attractions) and if he is planning to marry her, or just to mess up her chances of getting married in the future (more difficult as single mum / broken hearted person).

    basically, have a serious chat. if this ends yr friendship, then it's not a close friendship, so it's not the end of the world. true friends respect each other's beliefs.
    i have friends who are not Christians and who do all sorts of stuff that is wrong, but they know i don't approve of it.
    so he should know what your beliefs are and then if he goes ahead and messes up anyway, u can be there to gently put him back on the right path later.
    keep up yr friendship, but let it be a true and honest friendship.

  • There is no protection in anything he is doing. Himself, and the girl he is going with. If you are his friend then, as we love those who even hate themselves, we do right for those who sin against themselves. To be a true friend would be to say to him that you well try to protect not only him but others, so if he decides not to stop, you will talk to Abouna about it and then maybe her parents. If he says you aren't a friend, then you never were because he was only thinking of himself all the time and didn't care and the opinions of abouna, her parents, and yourself.
    Everything is in the offer and there you will find the truth of what he wants to do.
      Pray for his repentance that he may realise his mistake so no-one is hurt, either friendship wise or any relationship wise.
  • Pray first and God Himself will direct you in when to speak and what to say. He has promised that to us many times. I know that this response sounds vague but I believe it is better to let God clear up the things that you don't understand than for me to put my input which may or may not be correct in His eyes.

  • There are two approachs to this: one is faith; one is works. It all depends on what is happening and the timing of what is happening. What is happening is he is doing something that is not thinking of others. If the girl became pregnant the shame is for all because we did nothing when we knew what was the right thing to do and we didn't even get a chance for him to use his conscience and say we are all envolved in this.
  • Prayer can only help it never hurts so from a spiritual persepctive you should pray for him. However from a practical point of view you are both 19 years I know that age very well and the truth is you cannot force him to seek spiritual help because he wont listen. He wont listen becuase he will see you as self-rightous and judgemental when in reality you are just trying to help. So the best you can do is pray for him and worry about your own salvation. Hopefully your friend sees you as a good example, if you are doing the right things. But please dont judge him and absolutly dont give him unsolicited advice.
  • Like others said, what he is doing can have major consequences! My prayers are with him!  :)
  • He might get herpes, aids, syphillis, gonorhea, and not to mention emotional and psychological effects that will harm his future (career, education etc). I think he'll learn the hard way if he does it. Force him not to if you want to save his life.

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