help everyone, ma friend wants to go out with a muslim boy, help

edited December 1969 in Faith Issues
dating isnt wrong if ur careful, but wit christians. ma friend wants to deal wit a muslim boy, plz help me :'(


  • hey
    believe it or not, i've been in that situation...
    idk how strong in her faith your friend is, but if she is.. ask one simple question... "can you spend the rest of your life with some one who denies that Christ died for our sins? Can she stand bringing up her children and have them question christianity?"
    sometimes you love some1 on earth, but Jesus is worth so much more and sometimes we need to make sacrifices for Christ...
  • well correct me if i'm wrong but i don't think your friend wants to marry that person. Tell her to rethink the situation and that if she's doing it for the wrong reasons it won't be a good influence on her. and definitely pray for her. She needs God to guide her in the right direction right now.
  • no matter how strong she is, she might fall. we all need to pray for her. muslim guys r known to date christian girls just to convert them, ive heard it happen from friends who have seen it happen.
    this is wrong, but all i could think of is tell her all the bad things that muslims do in egypt.
    hope she realizes wat shes doing
  • i kno sum1 who dated a muslim guy...she ended up convertin and marrying him. she is even mahagiba. :(
  • pray for her
  • I suggest that she watches the movie "Not without my daughter" I think that will switch her mind quickly about dating muslim guys or even thinking about it.

  • any other ideas, cuz i think shes falling for him, ive told her of ppl in egypt and she said she wont make the same mistake, yes she is stubborn, i think im gonna cry honestly its like the light of Christ is leaving her :'(
  • "Iza sooba3ak muslim, i2ta3 dira3ak"
  • does she WANT to convert??
  • she dun wana get married , she said that she wont even deal wit him (bf gf) but shes still meeting up wit him at da mall, iuno wat her intentions r, but shes only 14 no mariage yet
  • tell her to stop or you will tell the appropriate people for her own good.
  • here is an article that could help enjoy!

    Being a Muslim's Wife
    By Abdullah Al Araby

    Your Future Before You Say "I Do"

    He is asking for your hand in marriage, and you have fallen in love with his bronze Middle Eastern complexion. He is intelligent, rich, well-educated and well-mannered. So, what more can a woman ask for?...THIS MOST ELIGIBLE BACHELOR IS ALSO A MUSLIM!

    "There will be no problems" he will say, "you can keep your religion, I will keep mine". And while it is true that Islam allows a Muslim man to marry a Christian woman, is it true that there will be no problems in such a marriage?
    To answer this question, a woman has to examine what it is like to be a Muslim's wife

    Your Status
    • Islam teaches that men are superior to women." Surah 2:228
    • Islam teaches that women have half the rights of men:
    - In court witness Surah 2:282
    - In inheritance Surah 4:11

    • Islam considers the wife a possession. "Fair in the eyes of men is the love of things they covet: women and sons, heaped-up hoards of gold and silver; horses..." Surah 3:14

    • Islam instructs women to veil themselves always when they are outside their homes" and say to the believing women...that they should draw their veils over their bosoms and not display their beauty"Surah 24:31

    • Mohammed teaches that women are lacking in mind and religion "I have not seen any one more deficient in intelligence and religion than women" Al Bukhary vol. 2:541

    • Muhammed teaches that women are a bad omen. "Bad omen is in the women, the house and the horse" Al Bukhary vol. 7:30
    • Mohammed teaches that women are harmful to men "After me I have not left any affliction more harmful to men than women" Al Bukhary vol.7:33

    Your Marriage
    • Islam allows polygamy: A man may marry up to four wives at one time. "Marry women of your choice, two, or three, or four... " Surah 4:3

    • A man can divorce his wife by oral announcement, the wife has no such right. "Divorce is permissible twice" Surah 2:229
    • When a husband has pronounced divorce three times on his wife, she then may not lawfully remarry her husband until she has married and been divorced by another man (including having sexual intercourse with him). "...So if a husband divorces his wife he cannot after that, remarry her until after she has married another husband, and he has divorced her" Surah 2:230
    • Islam teaches that a wife is subject to punishment by her husband, beating a wife or abstaining from sexual relations with her is allowed. "As to those women on whose part ye fear disloyalty and ill-conduct, admonish them, refuse to share their beds, beat them... " Surah 4:34

    Your Sex Life
    Islam considers the wife a sex object. "your wives are as a tilth (a field to be ploughed) unto you, so approach your tilth when or how ye will " Surah 2:223

    Your Children
    Your children have to be raised according to their Muslim father's religion: Islam. If he divorces you, he gets custody of the children, and you wouldn't be able to see your children again.

    The Sharia (Islamic Law) states that in mixed marriages "the children will follow the better of the two religions of their parents", which in your case is considered Islam. The Quran states that Islam is the only true religion, "The religion before Allah is Islam" Surah 3:19. Non Muslims can not act as protectors to Muslims, "O ye who believe; take not for friends (protectors) unbelievers rather than believers" Surah 4:144

    Your Future

    Should you survive your Muslim husband, and his wealth is in an Islamic country, the Islamic law will apply. The wife who has not converted to Islam gets nothing, the wife who has converted to Islam gets very little. According to the Quran a Muslim wife does not inherit all her husband's wealth. If the husband dies and he leaves no children, she gets a fourth of his wealth, his parents, brothers, uncles...etc will get the rest. If the deceased husband leaves children, then the wife gets an eighth, the children get the rest; the male child gets double the portion of the female. "In what ye leave, their (wives) share is a fourth if you leave no child; but if you leave a child, they (wives) get an eighth ; after payment of legacies and debts." Surah 4:12

    Before You Say "I DO"
    Before you commit yourself to marry a Muslim, it is a good idea to examine the motives behind it. While your motive may be love, his motive could be just to obtain a "Green Card".

    I know, they say "love is blind", I hope however that this message will serve as an eye- opener for you.
    You may say that your husband-to-be is a non-practicing Muslim. But let's not forget that Islam is more than a religion; it includes a complete legal code for Muslims and non- Muslims to follow in an Islamic State. In case of a dispute between you and him, all he needs to do to get the upper hand over you is to travel to an Islamic country.
    If you are still in doubt about this, may I suggest that you see the movie "Not without my daughter" which is based on a true life story of an American woman who married a Muslim man. Other similar movies are: "Princess, Dreams of Trespass, and The Stoning of Soraya M?"

    This may be a life-saving experience. The lives you will save are your own, and those of your future children.
    "Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?" 2 Corinthians 6:14

    For information or comments, write to [email protected]
  • rulers very interesting post :o

    (if shes only 14..(personally.. i dont think 14 year olds should be dating....!).i dont know what shes thinking hanging around with a muslim guy...and why are her parents allowing her to do so in the first place...)

    tell her to be careful and watch out, because even if she said she wont make the same mistake as others....u never know what will happen..its better to not be in this situation to begin with..

    tell her to hold on to God and keep Him in her heart always........
    making one unwise decision will really change her life
    and there is really nothing worth losing Jesus Christ who died for us.....over anyone that will take us far away from Him....
    If someone doesnt share our same beliefs...its really not the greatest idea to be "close friends" with them...let alone "date" them,

    Dont let anyone deceive you, because you will be the one who is losing..! "Let no one deceive you with empty words, for because of these things the wrath of God comes upon the sons of disobedience" Ephesians 5:6

    "Have no fellowship with the unfruitfull works of darkness but rather expose them" Ephesians 5:11
  • I agree w/ PrincessMary, very interesting and true post.
    But keep in mind that the wicked 99% of the time defile the good. Better to be safe than sorry
  • Yeah great points
  • if u've tried and shes not listening, then there really is nothin u can do for now... just be there for her.. and if u think is gettin serious (if she starts likin him) maybe then u should talk to abouna...
    oo..1 more thing... guys, muslims aint so bad and not all of them are such extremists... some of my closest friends are muslim.. we just have such a bad idea of them cuz of our parents...
  • nobody said their "evil" lol, but its not a good idea to hang out with them if they can influence your thinking and if your not strongly connected wit the church or have a strong personality. at age 14 you are still figuring out who you are and developing your personality so it is easy to be influenced and pulled away from the church.
  • y dont u get her to join this site, so that way we can all talk to her? i really dont think she should meet with him, because it will start out as a small friendship, and mark my word, she will end up falling for him. and at 14, its too early to be thinking about going out, and its too early to have to be putting up with the struggle she will put up with if she decides to marry him, which in my opinion, is absolutely NOT a good choice, or anywhere near one. im guessing that her parents probably dont know that she's meeting him at the mall, tell her and show her how he's already affecting her actions, and they havent even met outside yet! but really encourage her to come on this site, so we can all help her out ;D
  • [quote author=xxnoosa link=board=1;threadid=754;start=15#msg13941 date=1099627412]
    if u've tried and shes not listening, then there really is nothin u can do for now... just be there for her.. and if u think is gettin serious (if she starts likin him) maybe then u should talk to abouna...
    oo..1 more thing... guys, muslims aint so bad and not all of them are such extremists... some of my closest friends are muslim.. we just have such a bad idea of them cuz of our parents...

    xxnoosa, again with the lost hope "then there really is nothin u can do for now..."??? Would you say this if this was your sister???

    There many things you can do for your friend gergis.

    1) As said before talk to her try and convince her this is a bad idea
    2) Do everything that is possible for your friend abouna bishoy Kamel was dragged on the streets by a moving car because he wouldnt let a woman marry a muslim
    3) It might come to the point that you will have to talk to her parents
    4) Talk to abouna as said before
    5) DONT give up on your friend, God will as you what you did to help your friend (no pressure :P)
    6) God is with you gergis so dont be afraid rather be strengthend in that fact.

    xxnoosa u said "we just have such a bad idea of them cuz of our parents..."

    to tell you the truth your right about this point our parents are influential in shaping our views in our lives.....BUT
    Our parents are not ignorent they have seen what happends (girls being kidnapped, to convert to Islam) they know the world and alot of the time THEY KNOW WHAT THEIR TALKING ABOUT...your also correct in saying we shouldnt generalise but the fact is there ARE major extremists that do these things and you nor i know that this guy could/couldnot be one of them??? look after you brothers and sisters in Christ, DONT LOSE HOPE. ;D ;D ;D

  • She's 14? I dont think the Muslim is the problem? Why are her parents letting her go out by herself anyway. I'm not that much older, but c'mon have some self respect. She either wants attention because shes not getting it or the muslim guy is taking advantage of her. And what's that comment about dating if your careful? Absolutely wrong. A wise man once told me "the RIGHT thing + the WRONG time = the WRONG THING". Why are we rushing, enjoy your "earthly" life whether in prayer or service. You don't have responsiblities like our parents. Pray for her as much as you can, put her name on the Altar. But be prepared to let her GO when she goes to far, and make her someone else's pproblem, because she will draw you in slowly but yet surely. God help me if i said something wrong. Conslut your spiritual father before taking matters into your own hands.
  • There have been many great points stated and i see both sides. some people say el maselo leh el masolen. i dont believe that though. we all should pray for her. i dont think that you should leave her. there are times when we think that we right or that we strong enough and nothing will shake us.
    at school i have muslim and christian friends. we all talk but there r times when we just split, christian with christian and muslim with muslim. they r not bad, yet they are not good either.
    tell an adult, FOC would be best. or tell someone that she talks to or admires.
  • i thought he said they were only friends....
    i have a lot of muslim friends who are better than a lot of christians i know...there is nothing wrong with being friends... AS LONG AS IT STAYS THAT WAY...

    when i said u cant do much, i meant about the friendship.. if it grows into a relationship, i say talk to not saying to give up hope, but there are times when you just have to back off... be there to advise her, but if u push it, she may push u away...
    if it was my sister, i would do the same... u can be friends w/ muslims...
  • “ there is nothing wrong with being friends... AS LONG AS IT STAYS THAT WAY... “

    that is completely true and I agree……..out of my own personal experience. Let me tell you a story:

    Back in January or February I think I met this muslim guy, and although he was quite religious, he was not an extremist and respected my religion and I did the same towards his religion. We became good friends, to the extent that he was in fact my best friend, I told him everything – things that I would not even dare tell my mother. He was like an older brother, at times I felt that he was everything to me (I mean as in a brotherly love relationship). But recently this “friendship” has changed, and I think I do not need to go into details about how it changed. Basically, I fell In love with him, and he did the same, although he is currently in a serious relationship with another muslim girl, whom he would like to marry in a couple of years. But the thing is, now that this friendship has changed, there is no way in which he or I could stop this, and please let your friend be aware of this. Things can start out as “friendships”, and you might think that wat you feel for him is just brotherly love, when in fact you have fallen in love with him without realising, just like wat happened to me.
  • i don't know if im the only one who was taught that dating is wrong, unless you are in the early stages of getting married. that would be before engagement. but this "dating" has its good intentions of getting married, not just going out and pretending to get married. this dating that takes place is with God's presence and with respect for both people. and for those that say that the bible doesn't say anything about dating, the story of the samaritan woman is the one to explain God's opinion on dating.

    A Samaritan Woman Meets Her Messiah

    Jesus in Samaria and Galilee
    1 Therefore, when the Lord knew that the Pharisees had heard that Jesus made and baptized more disciples than John 2(though Jesus Himself did not baptize, but His disciples), 3He left Judea and departed again to Galilee. 4But He needed to go through Samaria.
    5So He came to a city of Samaria which is called Sychar, near the plot of ground that Jacob gave to his son Joseph. 6Now Jacob's well was there. Jesus therefore, being wearied from His journey, sat thus by the well. It was about the sixth hour.
    7A woman of Samaria came to draw water. Jesus said to her, "Give Me a drink." 8For His disciples had gone away into the city to buy food.
    9Then the woman of Samaria said to Him, "How is it that You, being a Jew, ask a drink from me, a Samaritan woman?" For Jews have no dealings with Samaritans.
    10Jesus answered and said to her, "If you knew the gift of God, and who it is who says to you, "Give Me a drink,' you would have asked Him, and He would have given you living water."
    11The woman said to Him, "Sir, You have nothing to draw with, and the well is deep. Where then do You get that living water? 12Are You greater than our father Jacob, who gave us the well, and drank from it himself, as well as his sons and his livestock?"
    13Jesus answered and said to her, "Whoever drinks of this water will thirst again, 14but whoever drinks of the water that I shall give him will never thirst. But the water that I shall give him will become in him a fountain of water springing up into everlasting life."
    15The woman said to Him, "Sir, give me this water, that I may not thirst, nor come here to draw."
    16Jesus said to her, "Go, call your husband, and come here."
    17The woman answered and said, "I have no husband."
    Jesus said to her, "You have well said, "I have no husband,' 18for you have had five husbands, and the one whom you now have is not your husband; in that you spoke truly."

    so, the reason she went to the well at such a time which was relevant to noon, was because she was trying to be unnoticed. noon is a time where the temperature is to the extreme. it was the hottest time of the day, so she went when no one was there because then, she wouldn't be mocked by the other women. her sin which caused her to go at noon so no one can see her was not having 5 husbands probably they died or divorced which was lawful in the old times of the old testament, but a "boyfriend." that was her sin. anything not in marriage, ie, boyfriend girl friend relationships, not leading to marriage, is against God and against His law. she knew she sinned, and wanted to cover up, instead of repenting. so, relationships not leading to marriage is a sin. i don't think that a fourteen year-old should date unless they're getting married at 15 or sixteen. that's not the case. muslims are our brothers and sisters. we don't hate them, but when it comes to being friends with a muslim, like anyone, what you see on the outside is not what really may be inside. but, she should take precautions. why hang out at the mall, alone, when you can hangout with your friends. don't go alone to meet anyone you don't know, because you never know what they'lll do, but just know that friendship with people of different religions and cultures isn't wrong, but marrying people in diffreent religions is wrong. why deny christ and leave him, for a person and why bring up kids away from christ? again, jesus will be the one that judges you in the end of tme, and what will you say to Him when He asks you why you left HIm?

    i am really sorry, if i didn't concentrate on the topic that much nad for the long reply.
    but i hope you get an idea. if you're a true friend, you'll keep persevering and convincing your friend to be careful, because it may not end up as a friendship. satan tends to decorate boxes with wrapping paper, to cover up the really ugly thigs that are hidden underneath the paper.
    keep praying for her and tell her to pray
    ... and lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from the evil one....

    God will send saints to protect her froom the enemy of God, but she has to ask for help. God doesn't force himslf in anyone's life
    God Bless you all
  • Why is it that alot of coptic girls (not men) convert?? ???
  • its both men and girls, but the thing with girls is most of the time they get tricked i.e. they fall in love with a muslim guy and want to marry him, but he obviously would not want to marry her unless she converts to islam. With men it could be the same scenario, but I guess that they are less likely to sacrifice their beliefs because they can deal with emotions better than girls,,,,but oh well thats just wat i think. Any other ideas? :)

    God Bless
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