Feeling Disconnected

edited December 1969 in Personal Issues
Hello guys

The past month was great for me; in a sense. It would probably be bad for other people, but for me, it was great. I was feeling very depressed, delusional, and basically, manic. But, it is due to this that I started returning to Church, and began praying everyday. I felt that this prayer really and truly helped me; I finally was able to let go many of my fears and insecurities and not worry about many worldly things; I gained true confidence, and happiness; although some of the delusions still remained.

Then, a week a ago, I sinned; I felt that I had lost everything I had strived for in the past month. Still I prayed, every day; to find the contentness I had once had; but I just can not find it. I feel like I'm losing hope! I feel like when I pray I can't say what it is I really want to say. I pray for God to give me the strength to return to trusting fully in him, but it doesn't feel like thats happening. I feel like my fears have returned, and my insecurities as well. This basically puts me in a real slump :/

Any advice?
Forgive me my arrogance/pride/weakness.

Comments

  • I feel you. Just fight with the devil, I read in the Abune Shenoda book "Sporitual Warfare" I definitely recommended that book by the way. Anyway in the book Abune Shenouda mentioned that any spirit of discouragement and giving up is from the devil. We shouldn't give into feelings of "man if I gave up after doing so well, then what can I do?". Thats the devils way of making us forget God's Compassion and the new start He can give us when we only make the effort.

    Also don't let the devil win, keep fighting, even when its hard, especially when its hard keep going having a Father of Confession (FOC) guiding your way and keeping up with your status. Read the Bible and pray regularly asking God for mercy and guidance, but the most important thing is don't give up no matter what and try to find a Coptic Confession father who can keep up with your progress and advise you and pray for you.

    GOD BLESS
  • although some of the delusions still remained.

    That's why you sinned, I think. You left a hole open for the devil to enter into. During this period of 'returning back to God', you weren't completely satisfied, so part of you still wanted or "liked" the old you.

    I think you should get back up, and aim for full satisfaction. Asking for it is the only way you'll get it. I think once your completely filled with God, none of the delusions will remain and no room will be left for the devil to enter.
  • We all fall into sin, even the best of us. Just remember the feeling you had when you allowed God into your heart, cherish it. Talk to you FOC, he'll give you guidence and help you get over this current slump. And NEVER give up hope, God knows what is in your heart whether you say it or not.
  • The thing is this; my mind is like a roadblock right now. It's like I know how I felt when I was content in God's love; but I just can't feel it. I pray for it; but I just feel so weak and I feel like nothing can help the state I'm in. I then just fall into depression, hate, and just start believing all these delusions and it makes me so sad.
  • Please help I'm in despair :/
  • Christ is risen!

    It seems that you are undergoing your very first true gift of God. Congratulations.

    The gift of prayer and the attempt to get your life on track with God is anything but a flowery road. It is among the most difficult roads to accomplish. If you walked into the road hoping for a nice journey to God that would make for a story book tale, or possibly one of those corny Egyptian saint movies, then you have another thing coming.

    The moment you begin to get your life on track, God immediately gives you a feeling of hope so that you have something to aspire to. However, if God were to keep this coming at all times, you would not grow. Life after that first week with God in prayer is almost like being put through a fire, and it can at times threaten to be less comfortable then when you were away from Christ. But don’t let this slow you down. This is a gift from God.

    God reveal his face and takes it away from you so that you may not be hit by the right hand blow of pride or the right hand blow of excessive hope. However, these tough times mean that you should do anything but stop your prayer. Think of the psalms of David who said, “I am prayer.” He often felt alone and separated from God such that he would cry and saying things like “How long O Lord? Will you forget me forever?” Prayers where you feel dejection and your pray regardless are the greatest blessings, and are the greatest offerings that you can every offer our Lord. STRUGGLE. You may get those wonderful and warm feelings again eventually, but don’t rush to them, simply beg God to return them, and at the same time, thank him for taking it away.

    Remember that only those who struggle are crowned. So congratulations on being found worthy of the struggle! Bow youself to God in humility, ask him to guide you, and stand by you, and there is nothing that can take Him away from you, and the long and wining spiritual road will be sweet. “Out of the eater came something sweet.”

    Don’t give up, Hang in there, and ask for his guidance.

    In the risen XC
    -Return Orthodoxy
  • "For your Father knows the things you have need of before you ask Him." -Matthew 6:8

    It's ok if you don't know how to fully express what's in your heart while you're praying. When that's the case, pray anyway. Make sure that communication between you and God doesn't die. He won't let you down.
  • [quote author=liftmyheart link=topic=11489.msg138372#msg138372 date=1306076801]
    Hello guys

    The past month was great for me; in a sense. It would probably be bad for other people, but for me, it was great. I was feeling very depressed, delusional, and basically, manic. But, it is due to this that I started returning to Church, and began praying everyday. I felt that this prayer really and truly helped me; I finally was able to let go many of my fears and insecurities and not worry about many worldly things; I gained true confidence, and happiness; although some of the delusions still remained.

    Then, a week a ago, I sinned; I felt that I had lost everything I had strived for in the past month. Still I prayed, every day; to find the contentness I had once had; but I just can not find it. I feel like I'm losing hope! I feel like when I pray I can't say what it is I really want to say. I pray for God to give me the strength to return to trusting fully in him, but it doesn't feel like thats happening. I feel like my fears have returned, and my insecurities as well. This basically puts me in a real slump :/

    Any advice?
    Forgive me my arrogance/pride/weakness.

    In the Name of the Father Son and Holy Spirit One God Amen

    I think the problem is that after you fell you have not completely let go of the thing that made you fall. Do you have a confession father? They would help you to fight the issues that keep making you fall so that when you try to go on the spiritual path again God's grace will be with you because you are completely with Him and have no intentions of going back to the old sin.

    God Bless
  • So you think that your a funny one right?

    Tameya? This is where I find that the site has gone wrong, when children walk around saying and doing whatever they want. Turning people's problems and their own faults into jokes.

    ReturnOrthodoxy
  • nether do I have the same problems as you..
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