COLLEGE... the green light for dating???

edited December 1969 in Faith Issues
Whats your opinion... just because you're in college can you date?

Comments

  • edited March 2014
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  • seriously...dating is so overrated. i am in high school and i would think the same idea applies in college. like why are you dating now?? are you ready to get married?? the next step after dating should be marriage. if you are dating in high school or even early college, like what is your motive? its not like you are going to get married. chances are you will fall into doing things you should not be doing (sex) and thats that. the only time you should be dating is when you are ready for marriage and as my awesome sunday school teacher used always say, are you financially, spiritually and physically ready to get married? if it is no to any of those then you are not and your FOC will know.
  • well in my church a girl at the age of 19 got married...
  • edited March 2014
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  • but she has been dating the same guy since she was 14... and they got married... so why cant i date when im 18 and still get married...
  • edited March 2014
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  • you seem very worried about marriage coptic boy lol.. listen to this series of lectures by Fr. Anthony Messeh called Real Dating: http://orthodoxsermons.org/search/node/real%2520dating its a very well thought out series and I highly recommend it.
  • Why would any certain period of your life be the "green light" to do anything? The right time is God's time, not when it seems like everyone else is doing it. I didn't date in college (too busy), but I dated before and after, and I'm still wifeless. What's more, I'm still alive, proving once and for all that it's not the end of the world to not be dating or married, even if society or your family or whatever makes you think it is. ;) Clearly God has some other things planned for me, and probably also for you...

    (Good call, Marenhos Epchois, on Fr. Anthony's lectures -- they're great!)
  • [quote author=Marenhos Epchois link=topic=10543.msg128254#msg128254 date=1296009923]
    you seem very worried about marriage coptic boy lol.. listen to this series of lectures by Fr. Anthony Messeh called Real Dating: http://orthodoxsermons.org/search/node/real%2520dating its a very well thought out series and I highly recommend it.


    thank you I have actually listened to the whole series.
  • [quote author=dzheremi link=topic=10543.msg128264#msg128264 date=1296016429]
    Why would any certain period of your life be the "green light" to do anything? The right time is God's time, not when it seems like everyone else is doing it. I didn't date in college (too busy), but I dated before and after, and I'm still wifeless. What's more, I'm still alive, proving once and for all that it's not the end of the world to not be dating or married, even if society or your family or whatever makes you think it is. ;) Clearly God has some other things planned for me, and probably also for you...

    (Good call, Marenhos Epchois, on Fr. Anthony's lectures -- they're great!)


    Ok when do you know its God telling you to do something. I can easily be like "oh... God wants me to do this now" about anything I want and hide behind the power of God that was used over and over and over again in human history for political and personal reasons. When do i know that spiritually God is calling me to do something?
  • That is a great question, Coptic Boy. If I knew the answer I wouldn't have to ask myself that 700 times a day, and second guess everything...but luckily, Fr. Anthony has also done a series of lectures on that, too! If you liked the relationship ones, maybe these will help you, too:

    What's God's Will? - Part I

    What's God's Will? - Part II

    What's God's Will? - Part III

    I hope it doesn't seem like I'm dodging your question. I just figure it is better to get your answer from a priest, rather than some goofball on the internet like me.
  • haha no its ok. Thanks for the time and effort in finding these.

    Gods will has been bothering me for a while now. thanks.
  • [quote author=coptic boy777 link=topic=10543.msg128201#msg128201 date=1296000647]
    Whats your opinion... just because you're in college can you date?


    You only can start dating when u r ready and u cant say.....ok im ready. u have to ask ur FOC
    [quote author=dzheremi link=topic=10543.msg128270#msg128270 date=1296017732]
    That is a great question, Coptic Boy. If I knew the answer I wouldn't have to ask myself that 700 times a day, and second guess everything...but luckily, Fr. Anthony has also done a series of lectures on that, too! If you liked the relationship ones, maybe these will help you, too:

    What's God's Will? - Part I

    What's God's Will? - Part II

    What's God's Will? - Part III

    I hope it doesn't seem like I'm dodging your question. I just figure it is better to get your answer from a priest, rather than some goofball on the internet like me.

    man i love Fr. Anthony sooo much i wish i can meet him someday

    PPFM
  • i never dated. i happened to meet someone at a Christian music festival and we wrote to each other, then later i visited his family (other country) and we got to know each other there. we did get married a bit young (i was 22), but i don't approve of the dating thing.
    if you have met someone you think you might marry, hang out in a group, get to know the family (or close friends if that person has no Christian family or if they live very far from their family), and if you feel the same way, then talk to your families and priests about getting engaged.
    you don't need to go on exclusive dates to the cinema etc. just to see if you might 'fall in love' afterwards. that's not the best way.
    if you're over 40 and desperate, talk to your priest and close friends and get advice. for the rest of you, take your time, there is no benefit at all from spending your teens and early 20s running after a girlfriend/boyfriend who you are not likely to marry.
    there are so many important things to do with your time, like working on your spiritual life (it is needed before you can be a good husband or wife) or studying, or working and saving up for a wedding or somewhere to live.
  • [quote author=GoDLovesME.91 link=topic=10543.msg128353#msg128353 date=1296069231]
    [quote author=coptic boy777 link=topic=10543.msg128201#msg128201 date=1296000647]
    Whats your opinion... just because you're in college can you date?


    You only can start dating when u r ready and u cant say.....ok im ready. u have to ask ur FOC
    [quote author=dzheremi link=topic=10543.msg128270#msg128270 date=1296017732]
    That is a great question, Coptic Boy. If I knew the answer I wouldn't have to ask myself that 700 times a day, and second guess everything...but luckily, Fr. Anthony has also done a series of lectures on that, too! If you liked the relationship ones, maybe these will help you, too:

    What's God's Will? - Part I

    What's God's Will? - Part II

    What's God's Will? - Part III

    I hope it doesn't seem like I'm dodging your question. I just figure it is better to get your answer from a priest, rather than some goofball on the internet like me.

    man i love Fr. Anthony sooo much i wish i can meet him someday

    PPFM


    he goes to a church 1 hour away from me :P
  • The answer to your question is no.

    Not only is dating in college premature, but it is a time to focus on your studies and setting the foundation for your future career.

    Again, this doesn't apply to everyone. Each case is different. But most egyptians/parents, as much as they want their kids to marry early, want/prefer them to do so (including engagement,dating,etc.) after they finish school, for very practical reasons (how will you support yourselves?).
  • yeah thats the most crucial part... financial independence.
  • [quote author=mabsoota link=topic=10543.msg128376#msg128376 date=1296074123]
    i never dated. i happened to meet someone at a Christian music festival and we wrote to each other, then later i visited his family (other country) and we got to know each other there. we did get married a bit young (i was 22), but i don't approve of the dating thing.
    if you have met someone you think you might marry, hang out in a group, get to know the family (or close friends if that person has no Christian family or if they live very far from their family), and if you feel the same way, then talk to your families and priests about getting engaged.
    you don't need to go on exclusive dates to the cinema etc. just to see if you might 'fall in love' afterwards. that's not the best way.
    if you're over 40 and desperate, talk to your priest and close friends and get advice. for the rest of you, take your time, there is no benefit at all from spending your teens and early 20s running after a girlfriend/boyfriend who you are not likely to marry.
    there are so many important things to do with your time, like working on your spiritual life (it is needed before you can be a good husband or wife) or studying, or working and saving up for a wedding or somewhere to live.


    How would you know that person you're interested in is the right person for you if you don't "Date" them and get to know them on a personal level.

    mabsoota is seems that you took a guess on the person that you married, how did you know what he was like, how can you marry someone you barely know spent time with.

    Finally i think college is the ideal time for dating because as soon as college is over you're gonna be your own independent person and by that time you would be looking for a spouse and if you found someone while in college and dated them. Then you get married!!
  • [quote author=BeshBoy93 link=topic=10543.msg128450#msg128450 date=1296092354]
    [quote author=mabsoota link=topic=10543.msg128376#msg128376 date=1296074123]
    i never dated. i happened to meet someone at a Christian music festival and we wrote to each other, then later i visited his family (other country) and we got to know each other there. we did get married a bit young (i was 22), but i don't approve of the dating thing.
    if you have met someone you think you might marry, hang out in a group, get to know the family (or close friends if that person has no Christian family or if they live very far from their family), and if you feel the same way, then talk to your families and priests about getting engaged.
    you don't need to go on exclusive dates to the cinema etc. just to see if you might 'fall in love' afterwards. that's not the best way.
    if you're over 40 and desperate, talk to your priest and close friends and get advice. for the rest of you, take your time, there is no benefit at all from spending your teens and early 20s running after a girlfriend/boyfriend who you are not likely to marry.
    there are so many important things to do with your time, like working on your spiritual life (it is needed before you can be a good husband or wife) or studying, or working and saving up for a wedding or somewhere to live.


    How would you know that person you're interested in is the right person for you if you don't "Date" them and get to know them on a personal level.

    mabsoota is seems that you took a guess on the person that you married, how did you know what he was like, how can you marry someone you barely know spent time with.

    Finally i think college is the ideal time for dating because as soon as college is over you're gonna be your own independent person and by that time you would be looking for a spouse and if you found someone while in college and dated them. Then you get married!!


    You bring up a good point...

    So i dont wanna have "gawaz salonat" meaning you go meet the parents and the person you wanna marry and then in a week you get married. It happens a lot in egypt.

    How will you get to know the person before you get married?
  • Guys I dont think the idea of dating is the satanic spawn of Satan Coptic people make it out to be.

    Dating is only wrong when you are in it for the wrong reasons (;) you know)

    or if you are not ready.....

    But generally college just always seemed young... I am going off to college in a couple months, i doubt i will magically be ready to start dating by then....
  • [quote author=abanoub2000 link=topic=10543.msg128470#msg128470 date=1296097961]
    Guys I dont think the idea of dating is the satanic spawn of Satan Coptic people make it out to be.

    Dating is only wrong when you are in it for the wrong reasons (;) you know)

    or if you are not ready.....

    But generally college just always seemed young... I am going off to college in a couple months, i doubt i will magically be ready to start dating by then....


    yeah... I hate it when 2 people are together trying to be physical at all, and just trying to get to know eachother and then people make rumors... well you know what i mean.

    so what if youre not in it for the wrong reasons?
  • edited March 2014
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  • [quote author=GODlovesme link=topic=10543.msg128476#msg128476 date=1296099788]
    [quote author=coptic boy777 link=topic=10543.msg128475#msg128475 date=1296099437]
    so what if youre not in it for the wrong reasons?


    You might have good intentions...but the devil is cunning and stronger than you and you may not be able to handle the temptations presented to you.  I wouldn't take the risk if I were you...


    What if i told you ive already taken the risk in a relationship and in 2 years nothing physical happend...
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  • edited March 2014
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  • [quote author=GODlovesme link=topic=10543.msg128489#msg128489 date=1296104124]
    So you are telling me you've had no sexual thoughts, no temptations to have sex, kiss, embrace for a long time or do anything like that?


    well i mean everyone gets those thoughts, even if they're not with someone...
  • edited March 2014
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  • No i mean im fine with what my father of confession is doing... I see what you mean too.

    thanks
  • edited March 2014
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