• [quote author=GODlovesme link=topic=10144.msg123955#msg123955 date=1291833346]
    Btw, sorry for the excessive talking.

    Doubt it lol
  • A Father of Confession can be different than a person who gives spiritual guidance. Although it is nice (and convenient) to have it coming from the same person.

    I used to have the same problem, and I ended up confessing twice until my parents told me to just switch altogether. Just have your friend tell her FOC that she's not growing spiritually and wants to seek advice from another priest. He shouldn't be upset with her. I was scared to do it too because I was afraid to hurt his feelings, but he didn't seem to care. One less person to hear complaints from ;) lol just kidding
  • [quote author=GODlovesme link=topic=10144.msg123955#msg123955 date=1291833346]

    1) A friend of mine was dissatisfied with her father of confession because he never seems to have time for her to confess and does not give a lot of advice on issues, rather he gives very vague advice if he even discusses the problem with her at my question is: is it ok to have two fathers of confession and is it ok if she just wants to switch and confess to another priest?

    I unfortunately have more or less the same problem...with the exception that my father of confession gives me the same advice for every problem...your comments and suggestions are greatly appreciated.

    I have kind of the same problem too... But I wouldn't change my confession Father because he is WAY too kind, he is the best. I mean, he does everything I ever wanted for me. The most kindest priest I've ever met, in fact he sometimes goes out of his way to see me for confession.

    But my problem is because I think I confess the exact same sins over and over and over... When there's something new, he gives me new advice.. when it is repetitive, he has become out of words... Back when I started confessing I used to get mad stories and stuff from him.. now it's boring (lol). Same sins and no change results in BORING confession. Increasing in my spiritual life will really help.

    If the same advice for every problem is "lack of prayer - pray more" then I believe that your confession Father is awesome.. because lacking in prayer makes sense... imagine how much you'd stop falling into the same sin by increasing your prayers and thus relationship with the Lord!

    This is just my opinion from i've heard...

  • [quote author=GODlovesme link=topic=10144.msg123955#msg123955 date=1291833346]
    and that as a boy, my brother has an ok to lose his anger sometimes, but I, as a girl SHOULD NOT EVER LOSE MY ANGER, RATHER REMAIN QUIET (TOTALLY DID NOT AGREE)! >:( This comment ignited me more and I told him many things that were extremely rude and disrespectful.  From then on, he knew full well that I am not quiet and that I am in fact very rude.  This happens often at my church...people make comments about how good of a person I am and then when they see me doing something wrong, they say: "I thought you were good..."  This is incredibly frustrating because I have never once in my life told anyone that I am a good person.  I know full well that I have many flaws (especially anger issues) and that I am nowhere near good.  I don't know what to do...your comments on this would be appreciated, please and thank you.

    Btw, sorry for the excessive talking.

    That right there just goes to show you how people are. I've experienced the exact same thing. I find it moronic how people sometimes insist that they have a better understanding of my personality than I do. I don't agree that you should remain quiet simply because you're a girl, though this seems to be the prevailing Egyptian view. I say, people are people. Boy or girl, our emotions are relatively the same. Now the problem is that this more than likely will continue, because it's simply how people are, and people (as a whole) have never changed.
  • I think now is the perfect time to quote Seinfeld...

    Elaine "I will never understand people"
    Jerry "They're the worst"!

    My favourite Seinfeld quote ever :)
  • Hehe gotta love Seinfeld

    Although, I've never found people to be all that hard to understand. The jury is still out on whether thats a good or bad thing.
  • He tells me to pray about everything...LOL but that's pretty much it.

    There is no greater advice.
  • [quote author=TITL link=topic=10144.msg124084#msg124084 date=1291858497]

    He tells me to pray about everything...LOL but that's pretty much it.

    There is no greater advice.

  • If you are having issues, then there is no problem seeking another FOC altogether for convenience. Or if you want to just confess to this priest and seek spiritual guidance from another that is also ok. You can have an FOC and a spiritual guide who you talk to more intimately about your problems and such. You shouldn't worry about hurting his feelings, his feelings aren't going to send you to heaven, if you need better guidance then you need to seek it
  • I do not have any great advice in store as I myself am in constant search of good advice. But allow me to qoute a paragrpah from Mother Irini's book that almost made a 'tough' guy like me tearful:The story may help you attain the virture of Patience.

    "During Mother Youstina's (the name is either a coincidence or I do not know, I jst realised it as I began typing), the convent suffered a destitution.The storehouse of the convent had nothing: no wheat or pickles, or cheese, or bread,or even a single penny.For three consecutive days,the nuns ate nothing. Night and day,they remained without food.Nontheless, everyone put up with it patiently.Even the weak and the sick said not a word.On the third day,their father confessor came to hear their confessions.He found the older nuns so frail that they could not speak.still, no one said a word, or complained of anything. In the end, he had to ask Mother Youstina, 'ou all look tired.what is wrong?' But she did not tell him.Then he said, 'No absolution, no blessing unless you tell me what is going on.' Si she had to tell him. Immediatley, he hurriied to HH pope Kyrillos V and told him the whole story....."

    If these holy nuns were so patient to say nothing for three days,I am sure you could be so patient ( as long as you make use of your God given will power) for a few minutes until the the given situation ebbs away so as to control your anger whose consquences is ultimatley causing you monumental distress.But while you should leave all matters at the hand  God, you must also try to do your bit.I think patience ,like that of the nuns is the key to success here.A few hours ago, I read a saying from st anthony " wherever you go, have God ever before your eyes". Maybe the next time you are tempted to get angry, remember the ordeal and suffering of these holy nuns for the sake of our Lord  .They say, Man proposes, God disposes. It may be easier said than done, but try to do your share and God will take care of the rest.

    I'd like you to know that I  have put your name on the altar and abouna has prayed for you during the liturgy in commemoration of St Sarapamon (abu Tarha) .I am mentioning it so that you remember to do your share to make it easier for the saints to intercede for you. One way to do it is by discarding the idea of 'giving up and surrendering to the enemy" and start hoping and putting your unflinching faith in the hands that fashioned you.

  • I think nobody can attain a virtue or keep one and improve it without the constant help of the Lord. Ask Him for support you by many prayers and some initial true good will on your side. Ask Him to deliver you from all tempting evil thoughts. You should try resist seeking after what you want to avoid.

    Anyhow, whether for a girl or a boy it is wise to try to keep silent for a little time if you feel anger is pending, this will break the accelerating anger reaction into a more manageable (and more profitable) discussion.

    You're a writer, so luckily you can also freely express yourself in writing.

    I like reading the Lord's sermon on the mount when I'm impatient or frustrated.
    Good luck. Please pray for me.

  • Hi Yousie,

    I appreciate your posts because I can relate to them in some way. I too have this tendency to look quiet blah blah.. but I have outbursts of anger sometimes which really disturbs me and probably those around me. Anyways, I wanted to comment on something you said [quote author=GODlovesme link=topic=10144.msg124765#msg124765 date=1292531946]

    While it would be nice to attain the virtue of patience and it would do a great deal to alleviate many of my issues, the matter of attaining it is a long process and can only be bestowed on an individual by God if He, in His infinite wisdom so chooses (same as purity of mind in all things, which I also struggle with).

    I'm not sure if I understood you wrong but patience is a fruit of the spirit, which means to my understanding, God grants us His grace and helps us attain it but we also have to work at it thereby making it a "fruit" of the spirit. For me, I try to consciously in the split second I'm about to get angry just NOT say anything, to tell myself there is no reason to have an angry tone, to give the person the benefit of the doubt and to make any excuse for their actions that have angered me so I don't feel angry, and then reply with all that in mind. It sounds kinda silly maybe but it actually really helps to bring my anger down or make it go away.. thank God. It also helps to learn not to be quick to speak in general, or to judge. All good things!

    Well I fail miserably most of the time, but God willing, He will help me.

    How about you pray for me and I'll pray for you regarding this same issue? :)

    take care,

  • I just have to apologize for my not making much sense in my post. I just read it and even I was confused.. I'm really sleepy lol. I hope you got the gist.
  • Thanks for clearing that up.

    Don't internalize anger, it will reappear in other ways.. it is like it moves through the body and manifests in "random" places. Just try to dismantle or disarm those angry thoughts, nothing is worth losing your temper, give people the benefit of the doubt.

    I hope you're making progress :)

    I'm glad you realize this is a problem and you are trying to fix it, many people do not and as you know, its a horrible thing to live with especially when it becomes the norm.

    I'll continue to keep you in my prayers!

    take care,

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