Moving Churches

edited December 1969 in Youth Corner
My family and I have been members of my current church since 1994, even before I turned 1. We were one of the 7 original families of the church's first congregation, and one of the only ones left. This church and the people in it have great sentimental value to me, having gone here my entire life, but I am now starting to feel that I stopped fitting in with the other youth here, as the old ones whom i grew up with have moved away. I have 1 close friend now but other than that i feel like a complete outcast with the rest of the youth here. It brings me great pain to have decided that I will soon start regularly attending a different church. I really don't want to because of the special place in my heart that my current church and some of the people in it hold and will never go away, but i feel that i must move to find new people with whome i may connect better thus resulting in better fellowship and spiritual growth. What should I do??

Pray for me please,

PS. Does anyone on here go to St. George's in Rockville or St. Mark's in Fairfax/ DC?? If so, what are people like over there??


  • it's really important to check out God's will on this and think what yr motives are.
    what do u think is God's plan for yr church? how can u encourage people to get closer to God?
    remember u will meet most of those guys in heaven and u have to spend eternity with them. maybe God has a way to help u to get along with people rather than run away.
  • same with me exept im not an ou all it takes outcast but alot of people in my church feel like outcasts besides 1 friend is enough and the truth is most people that feel like outcasts is becasue they arn't in the gruop and the gruop is mosly made of relatives people the same age i hang out with people from 4 different churches and in my favorite church theres this gruop of boys that are all r at it related as in brother or cousin basicly don't by shy not even 1% because the moment some one does something and theyt know u notice it laugh at it or something and start talking then eventually ur friend ship will grow. I hope this helped
  • My family is also one of the original families in my church's congregation (and I'm not even sure we started out with 7). And I've had that problem too. Not so much an outcast, yet often I don't feel at home at my church, where I've gone my whole life. Then, earlier this year, I went on a retreat with a different church and I honestly think I felt more at home with their church than with mine. I'm still 17 and I haven't really decided where I'll be living for the rest of my life, but I will definitely be taking this into consideration.
  • have u noticed how exciting it is to have new friends?
    wow! a new person likes me!
    u r so pleased to be liked, u overlook all their faults.
    until u get to know them better, then u can get 'bored' with them and irritated by their faults.
    the Christian family should be something deeper than this, forgiving as you would like to be forgiven, and u should 'bear with one another's faults'.
    not that i am suggesting any of u r like this, but it is a danger to be avoided.
  • Sometimes a really busy Church where there is always lots going on can be a distraction for a person in actually growing in Christ. If there are always enjoyable activities and a good, fun crowd of people to hang around with then we can end up being Christian for the sake of those things rather than Christ.

    This is not to diminish the value of friendships and fellowship. And we do have periods of our life when we need the support and encouragement of others.

    But as we grow into adults we have to very often face dark times in our lives, where it is not always fun, and these are used by God to help us discover what is really and fundamentally important to us. Sometimes God is calling us to move on to a new place and new service. But often he is calling us to more prayer and a greater focus on His presence in the Church and in the other members of the Church. It is not easy to become more serious oneself about the Christian life and yet also remain engaged with others so that we do not isolate ourselves from them. I think I have to say that many of the more spiritual people I have known have been able to be both alone with God in a crowd, and yet also be available to those around them, and not like they had some rain cloud over their head.

    We do have to learn that we can't put our entire trust in any person or group of people. They will always let us down. We can't rely on others to find our self-worth. We can't seek and find meaning and purpose in our life by becoming part of a group of people and trying to stay part of the crowd. It is ONLY in Christ that we find these things. And if we can find them in Christ then it becomes easier to deal with the situations we find ourselves in.

    I would love to have a congregation of hundreds. But every one of my converts has to be won from among the British population around us. I am glad to see growth this year, and my 4 baptism will take place shortly. I have more deacons. And those who do worship with me are very committed. I am greatly blessed. But there are times in the past in my congregation when we have worshipped in complete poverty with only three people. Yet we have never, ever felt that we were alone or that what we were doing was not of immense value and a tremendous privilege. It is possible to have that sense even in a congregation where we do not fit in, because what matters is that Christ is present, and the Host of Heaven are present, and the Saints are worshipping with us.

    If others do not feel that and sense that and live that experience then they need prayer so that the whole congregation might be united in the presence of Christ. This is why I agree with mabsoota that there is often a need to pray for the family around us rather than look for a new family. Of course as you grow older you will move to university etc etc and may end up living somewhere else anyhow. But when you do it seems to me important that if you have a choice of a large, lively and active Orthodox Church, or a small, struggling one with not many services or activities, you do not immediately choose the lively one, but earnestly seek what God wills for you. A lively Church perhaps doesn't need more prayer and more help, but in the struggling one your presence and prayers might make all the difference. It may well be a lonely and difficult service, but we are called to be obedient.

    Let us all seek the will of God at all times for all things.

    Father Peter
  • so sorry you  have to move..
  • thats great..!!!!
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