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Confused
Ok, so I have a question on behalf of a dear friend...
This girl is a teenager in age, but not a teenager at heart and mind. God took by her hand and helped her to pass by that stage in a completely different way, different from any other person. However, the "catalyst" if you will call it, that led her to God, was a guy she was talking to online (they live thousands of miles apart- nothing happened between them, nothing like dating of the sort). He was the first person to make her feel loved and he gave her a sense of security and company. She felt like she wasn't alone anymore, she felt that nobody would break her heart again. As you can see, she fell in love with him. As soon as she became attached to God, she knew that their relationship, whatever it was, was a wrong one. She ended it abrubtly and as soon as possible. Almost three years later, she still remembers him. She wishes to talk to him and be in his company like before. However, you have to understand that this girl is completely attached to God. She looks to him for all the refuge and rest in the world. The problem is, this person was the first person to make her feel loved, or so she thought (she doesn't know how he felt). What is she to do? She is to forget, that is for sure. She has definitely moved on, but at the same time she can't forget.
I thank you on her behalf for your help.
This girl is a teenager in age, but not a teenager at heart and mind. God took by her hand and helped her to pass by that stage in a completely different way, different from any other person. However, the "catalyst" if you will call it, that led her to God, was a guy she was talking to online (they live thousands of miles apart- nothing happened between them, nothing like dating of the sort). He was the first person to make her feel loved and he gave her a sense of security and company. She felt like she wasn't alone anymore, she felt that nobody would break her heart again. As you can see, she fell in love with him. As soon as she became attached to God, she knew that their relationship, whatever it was, was a wrong one. She ended it abrubtly and as soon as possible. Almost three years later, she still remembers him. She wishes to talk to him and be in his company like before. However, you have to understand that this girl is completely attached to God. She looks to him for all the refuge and rest in the world. The problem is, this person was the first person to make her feel loved, or so she thought (she doesn't know how he felt). What is she to do? She is to forget, that is for sure. She has definitely moved on, but at the same time she can't forget.
I thank you on her behalf for your help.
Comments
She was a different person before she knew this guy. He was the first person to make her feel truly loved and gave her the first emotions she knew. After a while, she started getting closer to God. Once she had a complete and fruitful relationship with Him, she stopped talking to this guy. However, after a few years, she still can't forget him, although she knows she has to. Any suggestions? I really feel bad for her...
It is not confusion wala haga :) Lets break it down little by little and leave God to lead us to the right answer. This is just my opinion please correct me if I am wrong, & I don’t mean to offend any one for we are one in Christ.
We have to understand first the psychological state any teenager and especially girls go through “no offense to anyone I was one myself” Teenagers are in need to be loved, encourage, feel wanted, and respected. It seems that she did not find those things among her family or friends. That is why she responded to that friend when he showed this kind of support. Little by little she started to gain her confidence back and her mind was free from all those worries. May be then God touched her heart or the Holy Spirit rebuked her in some ways but we have to understand that sins or something that is wrong can’t lead to something good. "A good tree cannot bring forth evil fruit, neither can a corrupt tree bring forth good fruit. ( Mathew 7:18) "
The attacks that she is having right now and remembrance of the past is just a war from satan trying to pull her away from Christ again as she is abiding in him more.
From my opinion here is what she needs to do:
+She needs to confess if she did not do that already and let abouna know about those attacks, he can help, even more, pray for her.
+She needs to understand that what she is going through is something normal for her age, but the best is to try to keep her mind focus on God, +Whenever any of those thoughts come just immediately try your best to stop them.
+She needs to try and keep her self busy as much as she can because thoughts penetrates when the mind is free and in rest.
+She needs to stop thinking that this person is the one who got her closer to God so she won’t feel guilty inside, this is just a trap from Satan to make her think of him and remember the past.
+Best of all just pray and ask God to protect your senses and help you to be pure in thought as Saint Mary.
I hope this was helpful and not confusing.
May God be with all His Children.
Please Pray for me
SaintaMaria, you're definitely right about the psychological state of a teenager - we do like to be loved, wanted and respected...and we go through a phase of thinking that our parents or family can't give this to us. So it's only natural that we turn to friends of our own age, because we feel that they understand us better. This can be good or bad, depending on what kind of person the chosen friend is. In this case, it seems that the friend may have been a good influence (I don't know the details, but thats the impression I got from reading the story).
Personally, I don't think that there's anything wrong with feeling "love" or any strong emotions for others...this is what Christ taught us after all. The danger comes when intentions become bad and lust replaces this love. Again - I don't think there's anything wrong with loving others...as teenagers, we tend not to know the difference between romantic love and brotherly love anyway. We're best assuming that any "love" we feel is brotherly, Christian love until we're old enough to know better.
So, my thoughts on this situation. I agree with SaintaMaria that the girl should talk to her father of confession and stop any thoughts of lust coming to her. I would say that the girl is in a good situation - she is close to God, and that's the most important thing. Should the girl talk to this boy again? It depends on her intentions and her actions. What is she hoping to achieve by speaking to him? A fruitful friendship, or a lustful relationship? There's a very fine line that we teenagers have trouble with. I would say that if talking to this boy would lead to temptation, then it's best not to talk to him, but this discussion should be between herself, her confession father and God.
Again, there's nothing wrong with "loving" someone in the correct way - a brotherly love shown by Christ.
Just my personal thoughts, but the person who can help her the most is her confession father - he knows her the best and knows how to deal with situations like this.
God Bless
Please pray for me
The problem is, this person was the first person to make her feel loved, or so she thought (she doesn't know how he felt).
Also[quote author=Christ4Life link=topic=6876.msg92215#msg92215 date=1215061703]
As you can see, she fell in love with him. As soon as she became attached to God, she knew that their relationship, whatever it was, was a wrong one. She ended it abrubtly and as soon as possible.
I am sorry I did not mean it this way, I just replied relaying on my understanding of the quotes mentioned above so from my understanding it is romantic love on her side.
Ok, so I have a question on behalf of a dear friend...
This girl is a teenager in age, but not a teenager at heart and mind. God took by her hand and helped her to pass by that stage in a completely different way, different from any other person. However, the "catalyst" if you will call it, that led her to God, was a guy she was talking to online (they live thousands of miles apart- nothing happened between them, nothing like dating of the sort). He was the first person to make her feel loved and he gave her a sense of security and company. She felt like she wasn't alone anymore, she felt that nobody would break her heart again. As you can see, she fell in love with him. As soon as she became attached to God, she knew that their relationship, whatever it was, was a wrong one. She ended it abrubtly and as soon as possible. Almost three years later, she still remembers him. She wishes to talk to him and be in his company like before. However, you have to understand that this girl is completely attached to God. She looks to him for all the refuge and rest in the world. The problem is, this person was the first person to make her feel loved, or so she thought (she doesn't know how he felt). What is she to do? She is to forget, that is for sure. She has definitely moved on, but at the same time she can't forget.
I thank you on her behalf for your help.
Is she now baptised?
LondonCopt, I'm afraid SantaMaria was right. Not in that there was a lustful relationship between the two, but she was becoming very preoccupied with this boy. He occupied much of her thoughts and feelings, she spent hours talking to him. If it continued surely her feelings would have been wrong.
This poor girl has fallen into deeper troubles and has come close to forgetting this topic. I feel bad for her, because I know she will come to think of it again. Maybe the best thing is for her to contact him and to end the relationship the way it should be ended. What do you guys think?
I personally am not a fan of online relationships, even if I am talking to people I knew first in person... I have come to find that many times things come out the wrong way, or you don't act as you do usually...
It is different... although one would like to think such a relationship would be purer because it is not based off of opinion or reputation or anything, a full relationship needs that essential portion of presence... a very powerful aspect indeed.
I think the girl should thank God for the blessing received and move on, and learn from this not to get close to people online anymore.. boy or girl...
I am sure there are people in her local churches whom she can turn to for support and companionship. For the youth, there are many retreats that are great for this like Anba Youssef's The Way Truth and Life Convention, and ECCYC for those on the East Coast. So I think she should, as hard as it may be, move on. It didn't sound as if the boy kept up correspondence so then that makes it easier. But if he does... you could always change your email or just not answer. Above all, pray and God will strengthen you.
Remember me in your prayers.
The advice I am giving you is to help your friend through this time and try to keep her mind on something else, maybe start things like reading the Bible together, encouraging her to attend meetings, and so on. In time, things will get better.
God Bless
Tony