help me please



  • ok this sex situation is from 7 or 8 months ago.. now this time it is because i was mean to her and said mean things to her.. i really felt as if the whole world was against me..i feel so ashamed to even be alive right now.i proved to her that i loved her and she also proved to me so much that she loves me.. but i had so much worries that i took it out on her i am so stupied and yes she is coptic and no i am not doing it for her becase i was doing this before i realy knw her
  • i feel so bad for what i did and i am very close to her brother and he told me she went to abona cause she was scared cause im an idiot who threatned her cause i bought her a phone and threatned to tell her parents that i bought her the phone..cause you know how egyption parents are.i took all my anger out on her and she stood by me so much..i am so ashamed at myself i really want her back as a friend and i realy want to build something with her for the future i am so depreesed over these last 3 weeks we havent talked.. i feel so empty and blank i do not smile or eat honestly all i do is sleep and nothing else i am so hopless i am worthless
  • give them time to forgive. also i advise you instead of only sleeping- pray. pray and i wish you get your sould free, your heart happy and your friends back in your life.
  • i hope so because i really am stuggling without her she was so important to special to me i saw how pure she was.i always put my needs 2nd to hers because i love her so much
  • :(i tried talking to her last night on aim and she said im sorry i just cant do it no more.then i tired again she said im sorry im not a horrable person but i just cant do it anymore... i poured my heart out to her..i never meant to hurt her we have had so many good times.. just the week before everything happened everything was fine i apologized and we agreed to stop arguing then after she saw abouna this happened.. i cant believe im losing her forever.i really love her.. and she is the one who told me words like the day i stop being there for you is the day i shut my eyes forever. and that no other girl can love me like her.. she always worried for me .. now i think they were just words.. what could have changed in 4 days time? i just dont get it anymore i am literley in tears she means the world to me i cant stand myself i hope i die please god take me
  • WWWWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAHHHHHHHH first thing is first if you are christian YOU NEVER EVER WISH GOD TO take your life away just because you are in pain....Some people don't understand like why Bad things happen to GOOD people...God wants to test their faith and she if it is truly strong b/c when you are in hard times you should grow w/ God ask Pray to him to help u carry ur cross EVERYONE on Earth has a cross wether it be A disease like cancer, poor, having to work day and night to provide for your kids, it could be ANYTHING don't ask God to take the Cross away but to make u strong enough to bare it....IF GOD PUT YOU TO IT HE CAN TAKE YOU THROUGH IT....i think right now w/ this girl you should give her space b/c maybe she is confused about something in life right now....and when i say space u don't mean like cut ur self totally from her i mean just u know once in awhile say HI and how are you doing the most u can do is just give her time maybe its not the mean things u said that are bothering her it maybe something else u nvr know
  • but why would she tell me i will always be there for you and the day i stop being there for you is the day i close my eyes. i mean i do admit i threatned to tell her parents about the phone.. but that was me showwing her frustration because i wanted to fix our friendship cause we use to be so close and we were still close but i tried so hard not to let something like this happen and i used very mean words and threatned her. and i know she told abouna and abona told her to stay away from me for sure i know that. but also she told him about the good.. when we stoped talking the first time after the 3 months then started talking again i bought her the sidekick lx which was 436 dollers and im not saying the price to show of no but because my love for her has no doller bill or limit.i love her so much. i once bought her flowers to her job because she was feeling down.. i always tried to make her happy.. and did i over do it.. ? yes i did i will be the first to admit it. i over did it so much and got frustrated.. but i do love her and do not deserve to lose her.i really love her.every night i pray to jesus and pope keryloss that one day i will be with her in holy matromony and for her dreams to come through and to give her strennght and power to succed and to make me the biggest failure in life to make her succed.. i really love her
  • well why did u threaten her and how did u threaten her other then the phone thing
  • that is the only way i threatned her.. but it was out of frustration iwas never going to go to her parents and say i bought her the phone. i really just wanted to fix things with her but i expressed the wrong emotions.the intention was to make things better but i messed up and now i lost her forever
  • to be honest i don't really understand ur situation lol ummm so i understand that u threatened her to go and tell her parents about the phone out of fustration but what made u so frustrated to tell her that stuff?  and theres a verse idk if u hv seen or read it in the Holy Bible but its amazing and it shows us what TRUE LOVE is

    "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. Love is not rude, it does not seek its own, it is not easily provoked, it thinks no evil. Love does not rejoice in sin, but rejoices in the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, and endures all things. Love never fails."
    1 Corinthians 13:4-9
  • yes i have i have read that whole book.. but also we all make mistakes..just because i made a mistake does not mean i do not love her.. it is that i cared so much i tried to do everything in my power to save us but i over did it and i showed my hurt in the form of anger
  • Ok so you know you overdid it and you know you made mistakes.. there's no point in thinking about that all the time and feeling miserable since that won't solve anything.
    I would say give it time and space and concentrate more on your spiritual life especially since you said you were going to get baptized soon
    And trust that God is watching over you at all times, ready to receive you with open arms when you repent and also helping you to set right what you did wrong... God will take care of you, just have faith and pray

    God Bless
    Please pray for me
  • thank you very much and you will be in my prayers. i really hope she comes back.
  • if she's any where from 15 to 20, I can tell you SHE WILL COME BACK! but with all honesty I don't think it'd be a good idea, like if she was getting advice from me, I'd tell her to forget about you! just because you are not ready, and more than likely she is young, and is not ready for marriage yet! you know I will not tell you to pray, I will not tell you to go to church and talk to abouna... but I'll tell you this... focus on school! focus on working... always keep busy! you can think that she was the one for you... but believe me, a big chance is she's not! just take it easy! keep busy! and give it time! rabina always works for the best!
  • an update ..yesterday abouna took the girls number and her brothers nuber..i told abouna everything..i told him wha tthe girl means to me and what her brother means to me.. what do you guys think abouna will do.? i really hope it gets fixed.
  • If you truly loved this girl you would have never slept with her friend, the thought would not have even crossed your mind.  I am sorry to say this but no normal decent girl would tolerate such behaviour.  You also say you threatened her to try and fix things, since when to people get closer when one threatens the other and says mean things, it will only tear them apart.  You really have to realize that even though you may love this girl your actions towards her do not show her love. The things you bought her would never undo the pain and hurt you have caused her.  Two important things in a relationship were missing, trust and respect, and thats why she could not go on, it was not a healthy relationship. You must apologize to her for what you did and give her time to heal. Learn from your mistakes and move on with your life whatever the outcome might be.
  • you actually have to be in this friendship to know i loved her.. sometimes when people love someone so much it makes them do the weirdest stupiedest things.. i just got caughtup in my emotions and did not know how to handle it
  • You must realize that what you did, in all likelihood, left a massive emotional scar on her. Give it might take a while, so be patient.
  • you know what hurts the most is that i always put all my needs second to hers and i always was there for her and she knew that and she told me that she would hold my hand through life and that day she stops being there for me is the day she closes her eyes forever and that i will always have her heart and that she will always love me and i make one stupied mistake. she also messed up she lied to me once about hanging out she always under appricated me and i knew she loved me but i do this 1 mistake and this is what i get wow you know i am not even mad anymore i mean the only reason i am mad is because i hurt the person i love very much but other then that i know i love her more then any other guy so other then hurting her i have no reason to be hurt or sad anymore
  • guys she still has not forgiving me for what i have done while she also has made mistakes she just ignores my messages and calls me a bad person and when i asked her if she loved before she said even if i tell you. you will never know the truth
  • Hi brother,
    i have only a little time right now, but want to say that sometimes we have to say to God, 'whatever happens i will accept it' and then let God have His will. this is what Jesus said before he laid down his life and went through terrible pain. i know it is not easy, i did this recently about a really horrible situation at work. the pain continued but i also had a lot of peace from God which really revived me. 'we share in His sufferings to share in His glory'. i will pray for you  :)
  • Maybe her not forgiving you is God saying this is not the one for you move on...Pray to God for him to show you that special person for you... Eve was created for Adam and if God wants you to get married and have kids then she is out there
  • Go on your kness and ask for her forgivness. We all make mistakes but not all repent. Confess your sin ask The Father to mend the friendship. When you are back as friends keep it as just friends do not sin by any other means if you know what i mean
  • hi guys this situation still affects me idk maybe you might think i am pathetic but i pray every night for god to bring her back into my life she is the girl i love i know this more then ever now idk what to do.god bless all of you
  • hey bigee, i feel for you man. i have pretty much the same exact problem, minus the sex. i had a girl that i cared for dearly and i drove her away with unkindness and cruelty. now i just want her to at least be my friend. i would give you advice, but im in the same situation looking for answers. She hasnt talked to me in 5 months now, but if anything comes up, like something i did that worked, ill let you know :)

    please pray for me, i will for you :)

    god bless,
  • hi chris thanks alot man i appricate it hey if you want to pm me we could be buddies on messanger =) thanks you salam
  • dear brothers,
    i am not an expert on this, but psalm 26(27):14 says 'wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord.'
    i have met people who have waited years for their estranged children to get in touch, i myself couldn't get in touch with my half-sister for more than 10 years, and it was really hard waiting, knowing she was out there somewhere but not knowing how she was.
    i also waited a long time to join the coptic church, every time i watched everyone take communion, it was really hard not joining in. a friend of mine waited longer, 2 years, until she found a priest who accepted that her husband (not a Christian) would never agree to her change of religion and arranged for a discrete ceremony for her without him there.

    i and many other people have found that this waiting time, when we are crying out for God to act, although it is painful, brings us closer to God.
    do you know how long God waited for you (or me) to turn to Him in repentance? and every time He sees us commit sin or encourage another person not to care about God or receive His love, how much it hurts Him? Jesus nutured and encouraged peter for 3 years, even predicting he would lead the church, and then had to suffer the pain of being denied by him, even as Jesus went through His fiercest suffering.
    so we really do 'not have a high priest who is unable to sympathise with our weaknesses' (hebrews 4:15), He truly understands and will strengthen us as we turn to Him and say 'not my will, but yours be done, Lord'
    indeed, we 'share in His sufferings that we may also share in His glory' (romans 8:17)

    so when we accept that God chooses to let us wait and when we are thankful that we have this honour of sharing in His sufferings, this is how we can start coping better with our waiting time.
    it's not just theory, i tried it myself and found that every time i confessed my angry thoughts towards God and accepted again His path for me (sometimes i had to repent many times a day) that i started to grow in His peace and people said 'how can you be so calm when your boss is angry with you, family misunderstand you etc etc..?' and the answer was, i wasn't this calm last week but, alhamdulilah, God is teaching me to trust Him and wait on Him.

    so i pray that God will teach you many beautiful things and fill you with His love as you wait and pray and try to stay true to Him and His word.
    may He have mercy on us all.
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