wats happening to me????

edited December 1969 in Random Issues
Greetings to all:
This a my true love story that i wrote in my creative writing class

The first week . . .
“My love, why do you run away . . . from my heart?
My love, why do you fear me?
My love don’t ponder or ever doubt my trust . . . because I will never once think to hurt or break an angle’s heart.”  Said the stranger.
The third week . . .
“Come quickly now and embrace me with your love. Being away from you is killing me inside so please come quickly. If you gave me a chance and listen to your pure and kind heart, you will know to not be scared of me and know that I’m forever yours.” Said my friend.

I was in deep desperation. .  . searching for love and to be loved. Love is the strongest and weakest part of me. Falling in love  for me is like eating and not stopping; when I fall in love I can’t stop. Falling in love for me is like hearing but not listing and it’s like seeing but blinded by an emotion so strong.

I listened to him and listened to my heart. I was indeed bitter and cruel at first because of three reasons. The first and most essential and severe reason was that in my religion it is required a sin in liking a non-Christian individual. The second reason was that I doubted his love and loyalty that he gave me so quickly. The third reason was that at the time my heart was too fragile to be broken again. However I came to realize that he truly loved me without knowing who I am. He was the not first person I encountered but second. But it truly felt like first.

The sixth the week. . .
My fate was to never see my love again after my heart was fully opened to him. My heart was ironed by the fire of love in the air.

But now I know that it’s not true . . . the perfect guy does not exist.


My story ends here! i need prayers and prayers and prayers! i can't take it anymore!
I can't stop thinking about him and when i do my heart breaks in pieces! i really need prayers! I cry 4 him and i cry 4 thinking about when i know GOD turns away from me!
why do u look back and not foward?
why do i still have hope when the case is soo hopeless?
why do i miss and want everything back when i shoudn't?
why do i believe those memories were sweet when they are sour and bitter?

God BLess all and hope and pray to GOD that you woun't experience this pain!

Comments

  • Hi Marmoura,
    welcome to Tasbeha.org, I'm baladoos
    Well regarding your story, well ofcourse i know exactly how you feel, but there are some few advices here that I need to tell you:

    Lol from your post, i realised that this person is not a christian person, so basically you cannot get married to him, so its much better to forget him now than really waiting for him.  I'm sorry i might sound a bit harsh on you but really lol i want to help you.

    I know its hard on you and that you feel bad and hurt, but really lol all of us came accross this point, it is hard, difficult and frustrating, but God can get us out of it if we seek help from Him.  I personally used to love a friend of mine and i thought about marriage and stuff, but God really didn't allow it to happen, i felt bad and very depressed, but when i thought about it, i found that God definitely has another plan for me, so lol trust in God, God definitely has another plan for you. Maybe you can't see this now, but later on you will know that God saved you someone who is much better.

    I hope I helped you, plz message me anytime if you need any help

    Regards

    Baladoos
  • thank u soooo much! ;D pray 4 me always! ure advice and help are def appreciated! thanx again! its just sooo hard 4 me! i 'm soo weak  when it comes LOVE! love is a great thing but when it hurts u, it burns like fire! rabena ma3ak 3altool ! God Bless U!
  • Lol i really understand what you mean by love is hard and stuff, simply because i came accross and I know that it hurts.  But really when God is around us and helps us, we can overcome anything.  Lol my own advice is: never go in Love except when you are sure 100% that the person is the correct one.  I know this might sound crazy because its hard to control feelings, but really when the correct person comes you will know that this person is the correct one and that you will love to spend the rest of your life with.  Just pray and be with God and I'm sure 100% that you will overcome this hard time and cheer up again.  What i need you to do now is to cheer up and to look at life with a better look, nothing deserves to be upset for as long as we have God with us.

    yalla take care and rabena ma3aki, plz feel free to PM me anytime

    Baladoos
  • Baladoos
    Ana Mesh 3arfa 2a2ool eh?  i really appreciate ure understanding! I love it when someone understands me and Baladoos u do! Lol. All the things you said are so true and correct! What bothers me is that it is was my first love and the most impossible love which made me go crazy! If he was just Christian there could have been a chance! But that’s destiny and I always believe that God plans things (good or bad) for each one of us for a plausible reason. And ure definitely not crazy Baladoos.  I totally understand where ure coming from. I just wish I’ll find the true one. . . the one I’ll get engaged to . . . the one I’ll get married to. . . the one I’ll have a family with.  I’ll pray and pray and wish for God’s mercy.  Because it was love I know I’m not gonna forget but I know I should at least stop having thoughts and not look back at this. I should look forward and put all my troubles on God’s shoulders. And just stick to God cuz I know 4 sure he’s always there, anytime and anywhere.
    Now I know who to bother when I have struggles in life! Thanx again Baladoos! Yala talk to u later!  :) See I’m smiling!
  • Hey ya seti,
    How are you?
    You don't sound fine, and I will pray for you!
    I know love hurts, and sometimes it has its ups and downs. Even when you find the right person, el shetan won't leave you be, he will give doubts about that person. I agree with Baladoos, the partner of your life is going to come to you without you even looking for him, and you might not know it is him right away, but you will when you get to know him.
    To me, I am in love with the most kind hearted, sweet person, great personality, loving heart, crazy smile, the primo in my eyes, most funny and good looking guy I have ever meet in my life. Words can't realy describe how much I love and feel about that person, and I am engaged to him.
    Love at first is going to be hard, and when you get your heart broken it will be hard to trust another guy with your heart because the pain you have felt already. First TRUE love is different than all of "love" relationships you gone through because they weren't true, the true First love is the the guy who puts a ring on your finger and love you with all of his heart, mind, and soul.
    I know the pain you have is strong and burns like fire, but I'd say Pray and god will help you and guide you out of this pain.
    Pray for me,
    bentBABAyasooa`
  • Hey sweety,
    Its always great hearing advice from others especially people that are more experienced with this kind of subject. I am still having thoughts and it’s not easy to forget! Its soooooo hard. But every time I feel that way I think of how I’m going against God’s commandants and becoming a traitor to him. So I stop. It just needs time and training. I need to occupy myself than think 2 much about something so hopeless (such as praying, going out to church, hang w/ friend, concentrate in school). I totally understand u Bentbabayasoo! I am soooooo happy 4 u! May God bless u and ure fiancé and ensha2alla u both live happily ever after.  I totally agree w/ u when u said“First TRUE love is different than all of "love" relationships you gone through because they weren't true, the true First love is the the guy who puts a ring on your finger and love you with all of his heart, mind, and soul.”
    I just hope I’ll find “HIM” without even noticing. Saleelee so GOD may forgive me and cure me from this state of mind.
    I’ll always pray 4 u !!
    [move]God Bless U[/move]
  • Hey Marmoura, there is no need to thank me by the way
    I just have few things that I need to tell you, they might be useful to you:
    Lol don't think too much, thinking too much won't do anything except just making you tired, frustrated and depressed.  Believe me in what I'm saying, I have been through this sort of hard time, and yea It was hard and it is still hard on me.  But when i sat down with myself i just told myself one thing: Would thinking actually improve anything of the situation?? my answer was: NOOO, then i took a decission to try my best to never think about it again and just move forward with my life.  Lol your dream guy will cum to you one day in the correct time.  Don't be scared from anything, God is the one that looks after us and takes care of us.  when you were young, and you used to pass the street, did you ever feel scared when you crossed the road and your dad was holding your hand?? I'm sure you will say: NOOO.  So think about it, if your earthly father takes care of you that much and loves you that much and wishes your happiness that much, how much then your father and creator loves you and knows what's best for you?? Just cheer up, there is nothing to worry about, ensha2alla you will get over everything and you will get better.  Always stick to God and spend as much time as you can with the people that TRUELY love you, like your family, your friends..etc,
    yalla take care we rabena ma3aki we yowafa2ek, keep us updated with your situation, e7na dayman felkhedma ya fandem  :P :P :P :P

    Baladoos
  • [move][glow=red,2,300]I LOVE U ALL!!!!!!! Thanx so much for your advice! [/move]
    I'll try to forget sa2da2nyyy! yala take care ! i feel like i know u baladoos! who knows ???? ONLY GOD!
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