A crush is usually based (at least in part) on physical attraction, as you said. But that is not the same as saying that it's a form of lust, which is much more extreme. And yes, I have had a crush on someone who was smart. In fact, I've been going out with an attorney for the past few months. And to be completely honest with you, her most attractive feature to me is her intelligence. But that doesn't mean that I have an "intense or unrestrained sexual craving" for her brain, or any other body part for that matter. Why is this so hard to believe?
God bless!
but see NC, not every thinks like u, some people crush for other reasons, not everyone is mature yet (not talkin about anybody in particular, just in general). generally speaking, crush, if not subdued, do turn or become other things, such as lust, dating, etc.
i know im gonna get killed for saying this, but it seems to me that we should reopen the dating thread to clear up misconception or further prove stuff. my opinion :-\
i know im gonna get killed for saying this, but it seems to me that we should reopen the dating thread to clear up misconception or further prove stuff. my opinion
[quote author=Peter Gergis link=board=1;threadid=344;start=60#msg4062 date=1087589501] Hey NC, I'm not so sure that you get what lust is all about. Lust does not have to be extreme, it can be as simple as a physical attraction. However, it is just as dangerous as having a crush. They both have the same Ph level!
Actually, I think that it might be you who misunderstands the meaning of the word "lust", as it is more commonly used. Once again, I refer you to dictionary.com, which states clearly not that it's mere physical attraction, but "intense or unrestrained sexual craving". All crushes/physical attractions are not like this, for if they were then I would have tried to have sex at age 11.
Nevertheless, if you can provide Biblical authority for the broader approach to the term "lust", I would appreciate it.
but see NC, not every thinks like u, some people crush for other reasons, not everyone is mature yet (not talkin about anybody in particular, just in general). generally speaking, crush, if not subdued, do turn or become other things, such as lust, dating, etc.
i know im gonna get killed for saying this, but it seems to me that we should reopen the dating thread to clear up misconception or further prove stuff. my opinion :-\
While I appreciate the complement, I can assure you that I'm not all that exceptional. In fact, it's quite possible that come Judgment Day, God will declare me the worst of all men. Nevertheless, I don't try to get into the pants of every physically attractive woman I see. This is what distinguishes lust from a mere crush, and it's the difference between sin and good judgment. I don't think good judgment all that hard for young people to learn, especially with the proper guidance. And that's why I don't agree that crushes are necessarily something that young people should avoid.
NC... i just read ur posts and im assuming your obviously someone thats old enough to get into a serious relationship... so i think it's safe to say that you're not going into a 'crush' or lust, its just that u must be looking around, and u met a girl you may really really like... but speaking from a teenagers point of view, a crush can start out based on a persons great personality... for all one can care, the person they began to have a crush on maybe hideous looking... but u know that say that goes 'i dont love u because ur beautiful, ur beautiful because i love u' well often times.. i know im gettin really really stretchy here... but teens consider this 'crush' as in love.. and so they begin to lust for this person.. and according to my definition, lusting for a person can just be wanting to desperatly speak to them or be with them or see them... and we are not of age to be feeling this kinda stuff i mean wanting to speak to ur best friend or see them is different then wanting to see or speak to some guy or girl u may have a crush on... different ppl cause different feelings and just one last little note... the authors of the dictionaries aren't exactly God... neither were the translators of the bible... so i guess u can define lust as whatever u'd like to... u can either be really broad or really narrow... but if according to ur definition, what would u define our 'lust' as? i dont mean to come across in an offensive way as i sometimes do seem to... just stating my opinion n going on my merry way bye :D
according to my definition, lusting for a person can just be wanting to desperatly speak to them or be with them or see them
See SMS what if you talk to that person as long as you keep it clean. By clean i mean stay away from sexual talk and desires and all that. I see that acceptable at least from my point of view
[quote author=SMS link=board=1;threadid=344;start=60#msg4117 date=1087704372] NC... i just read ur posts and im assuming your obviously someone thats old enough to get into a serious relationship... so i think it's safe to say that you're not going into a 'crush' or lust, its just that u must be looking around, and u met a girl you may really really like... but speaking from a teenagers point of view, a crush can start out based on a persons great personality... for all one can care, the person they began to have a crush on maybe hideous looking... but u know that say that goes 'i dont love u because ur beautiful, ur beautiful because i love u' well often times.. i know im gettin really really stretchy here... but teens consider this 'crush' as in love.. and so they begin to lust for this person.. and according to my definition, lusting for a person can just be wanting to desperatly speak to them or be with them or see them... and we are not of age to be feeling this kinda stuff i mean wanting to speak to ur best friend or see them is different then wanting to see or speak to some guy or girl u may have a crush on... different ppl cause different feelings and just one last little note... the authors of the dictionaries aren't exactly God... neither were the translators of the bible... so i guess u can define lust as whatever u'd like to... u can either be really broad or really narrow... but if according to ur definition, what would u define our 'lust' as? i dont mean to come across in an offensive way as i sometimes do seem to... just stating my opinion n going on my merry way bye :D
Don't worry my friend, I don't get offended easily. :)
I suppose that we can define "lust" however I want if I so choose. But that's not the issue. The important thing for us to know is what the Bible means when using this term, because it is this specific meaning that determines whether our conduct rises to the level of sin. To me, what you mean by the word "lust" is not the same as Biblical lust, which is why I I believe that what you're talking about is *not* a sin.
So if it's Biblical lust that we need to go by, why do I choose a dictionary definition? (Stay with me, because the explanation is kinda complicated. And don't feel bad if you have to read it twice, lol.)
The Bible that I read is an English translation of the original text. The Books of the Bible were written in the native tongues of the original authors. Whether it was Greek, Hebrew, Latin, Aramaic, or whatever, I'm not certain. Regardless, it is logical to conclude that Biblical experts translated those verses from those ancient languages into English. Biblical translators, just like other kinds of translators, have to decide which words in English best fit the words in the original language of the Books so as to communicate the true meaning of the writings to English speakers.
In order to know which words in English to choose for their translations, Biblical translators base their decisions on the standard meanings of words in English that best fit the words used in the ancient language of the Biblical verses. For example, there are numerous verses in the Bible that use the word "abba", which is an Aramaic word that means "male parent". So to translate this into English, the experts would need a word whose standard definition is "male parent". In this case, a translator would choose the word "father".
So take Matthew 5:28, which gives a rule on the subject at hand. "But I say to you that whoever looks at a woman to LUST for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart." [emphasis added] The Biblical experts who translated this verse from Aramaic to English specifically chose the word "lust" to communicate what Matthew originally wrote in Aramaic. For whatever reason, the translators must have believed that the standard definition of "lust' in English most closely fit the word used in the original Aramaic text of Matthew. So where do we look to find standard definitions for English? In an English dictionary, of course!
Now SMS, if you understand all that I wrote above, then you're 50 IQ points smarter than I was at your age. :D
i understood it fully... i just dont agree with it i ask that you take a look at the "proof of the bible" thread... maybe thatll clear up the translation confusion a bit... then get back to me
I don't know if you guys mentioned this or not, but how can you be sure that a realtionship will remain clean? It may start out that way, and last awhile like that, but things ALWAYS get out of hand in your teenage years. Pretty soon one person will fall for the other person, and that's when it becomes a problem. You may be able to protect yourself, but that other person may not have the same things in mind.
[quote author=SMS link=board=1;threadid=344;start=60#msg4149 date=1087783555] i understood it fully... i just dont agree with it i ask that you take a look at the "proof of the bible" thread... maybe thatll clear up the translation confusion a bit... then get back to me
But you're not telling me what it is that you disagree with. Do you think that translators don't go by standard definitions? Or do you believe that "lust" is not the appropriate word in those verses that were cited? Or do you disagree with that there is such a thing as standard definitions? So it'd be much more hlpeful for me if you just state your point rather than just referring me to somewhere else. Otherwise, I'd have to guess whatever it is that you're trying to state from that thread. :)
[quote author=sleepymusician link=board=1;threadid=344;start=60#msg4150 date=1087789696] I don't know if you guys mentioned this or not, but how can you be sure that a realtionship will remain clean? It may start out that way, and last awhile like that, but things ALWAYS get out of hand in your teenage years. Pretty soon one person will fall for the other person, and that's when it becomes a problem. You may be able to protect yourself, but that other person may not have the same things in mind.
An even better question is how can you be sure of anything at all would be clean? Everytime you walk out the door of your home, you run the risk of sinning. This is a danger that follows us in every waking moment of our lives no matter what we do. So we can't just avoid an action merely because there's a risk of sin. Otherwise, we may as well just put ourselves in a self-induced coma for the rest of our days.
Also, I'd add that our God is a just God, so He's not going to punish you for someone else's sin. He will only judge you based on the choices that you've made. So unless you KNOW of a SUBSTANTIAL risk of of tempting someone else to sin, I don't think you need to worry about other people's behavior from a morality standpoint.
[quote author=sleepymusician link=board=1;threadid=344;start=60#msg4150 date=1087789696] Pretty soon one person will fall for the other person, and that's when it becomes a problem. You may be able to protect yourself, but that other person may not have the same things in mind. sleepy
I don't know sleepy if that will really become a problem when one person falls for another beacuse if that happenes maybe the second person would fall for the first then those 2 would be a couple that later on ready for marriage and create a great Christian family Ever thought of it that way?
Yea, Wasim, that is possible, but not during our teenage years. Marriage doesn't start that soon. If both of you fall for eachother, what makes you so sure that it'll last? That's how all dating couples start out, butthey end up breaking up.
NC, you're right. Everytime you walk out the front door, you stand the chance of sinning, but at least you're not putting yourself at risk for it. A relationship puts you at rick because of all the things involved in it, but YOU chose to get yourself into that relationship.
but if you don't try you will never know what if that person that you passed on is the "one" for you i know God puts the right person in our way but we have to do something from our side take a step from our side
i know He won't pass it but we shouldn't just sit on our behinds and just say God will do it for us don't understand me wrong here i know God will do things for us but we have to work too
some one said there was too much on the GUYS and DATING thread... umm id like to remind you that this thread is almost at 6 pages and we're saying exactly the same things.. i mean.. i dont mind its just these threads are becoming a little repetitive
well they all talk about the same thing guys brought up dating and crush brought up guys and dating they are inner connected so i guess we kinda had to be repetitive a bit
CS... easy on the joking Wasim... as we discussed in the dating thread: are u seriously emotionally mature yet? are you financially prepared? are you academically finished? if so... then maybe God can send down ur potential suitor only thing is i find it quite hard to believe an 18 or 19 or even 20 year old can be emotionally mature and prepared enough to take on the life of another person when there are people that are only few years older than them that do not feel that they are yet ready, of course, maturity varies from person to person... but i find it hard to believe to fall 'in love' at such a young age. i dont mean to be directing this towards u... this is just my general opinion dont forget... marriage is a lifetime commitment where you can not be selfish right now we're selfish and think only of ourselves... i dont mean this in a rude way... and i know some of us that are in here are the most caring and generous people ever, but we are still only young and naiive humans... and overall, we're selfish i mean how many parties have we sacraficed? how many visits to a friends house? and i dont mean if u werent allowed to go cause ur parents said so, i mean how many did u actually volutnarily sacrafice and give up because u selflessly wanted to do something for someone else, such as ur parents or siblings... i bet not many of us we think we're ready... but we're not... marriage as i said is a commitment where the holy spirit joins you and ur significant other as one body, one spirit, and one soul... unless ur ready to do the sharing and seriously do everything for the other person... ur not ready marriage or engagement or the 'dating period' isnt meant to be for fun... its meant to be enjoyed... but not for one's personal amusement as far as crushes go... u know ull get over it soon (hence y its called a crush!) im done babbling :D
Well sleepy, I suppose we could always turn to a discussion about less controversial issues. Like politics. Hey, did you know that Saddam had WMDs? Just kidding. ;)
Comments
A crush is usually based (at least in part) on physical attraction, as you said. But that is not the same as saying that it's a form of lust, which is much more extreme. And yes, I have had a crush on someone who was smart. In fact, I've been going out with an attorney for the past few months. And to be completely honest with you, her most attractive feature to me is her intelligence. But that doesn't mean that I have an "intense or unrestrained sexual craving" for her brain, or any other body part for that matter. Why is this so hard to believe?
God bless!
but see NC, not every thinks like u, some people crush for other reasons, not everyone is mature yet (not talkin about anybody in particular, just in general). generally speaking, crush, if not subdued, do turn or become other things, such as lust, dating, etc.
i know im gonna get killed for saying this, but it seems to me that we should reopen the dating thread to clear up misconception or further prove stuff. my opinion :-\
No I'm jk,
I'm ready for some CERAZY stuff!
Defender
Hey NC,
I'm not so sure that you get what lust is all about. Lust does not have to be extreme, it can be as simple as a physical attraction. However, it is just as dangerous as having a crush. They both have the same Ph level!
Actually, I think that it might be you who misunderstands the meaning of the word "lust", as it is more commonly used. Once again, I refer you to dictionary.com, which states clearly not that it's mere physical attraction, but "intense or unrestrained sexual craving". All crushes/physical attractions are not like this, for if they were then I would have tried to have sex at age 11.
Nevertheless, if you can provide Biblical authority for the broader approach to the term "lust", I would appreciate it.
[quote author=egyprincess link=board=1;threadid=344;start=60#msg4074 date=1087593810]
but see NC, not every thinks like u, some people crush for other reasons, not everyone is mature yet (not talkin about anybody in particular, just in general). generally speaking, crush, if not subdued, do turn or become other things, such as lust, dating, etc.
i know im gonna get killed for saying this, but it seems to me that we should reopen the dating thread to clear up misconception or further prove stuff. my opinion :-\
While I appreciate the complement, I can assure you that I'm not all that exceptional. In fact, it's quite possible that come Judgment Day, God will declare me the worst of all men. Nevertheless, I don't try to get into the pants of every physically attractive woman I see. This is what distinguishes lust from a mere crush, and it's the difference between sin and good judgment. I don't think good judgment all that hard for young people to learn, especially with the proper guidance. And that's why I don't agree that crushes are necessarily something that young people should avoid.
God bless!
but speaking from a teenagers point of view, a crush can start out based on a persons great personality... for all one can care, the person they began to have a crush on maybe hideous looking... but u know that say that goes 'i dont love u because ur beautiful, ur beautiful because i love u' well often times.. i know im gettin really really stretchy here... but teens consider this 'crush' as in love.. and so they begin to lust for this person.. and according to my definition, lusting for a person can just be wanting to desperatly speak to them or be with them or see them... and we are not of age to be feeling this kinda stuff
i mean wanting to speak to ur best friend or see them is different then wanting to see or speak to some guy or girl u may have a crush on... different ppl cause different feelings
and just one last little note... the authors of the dictionaries aren't exactly God... neither were the translators of the bible... so i guess u can define lust as whatever u'd like to... u can either be really broad or really narrow... but if according to ur definition, what would u define our 'lust' as?
i dont mean to come across in an offensive way as i sometimes do seem to... just stating my opinion n going on my merry way
bye :D
NC... i just read ur posts and im assuming your obviously someone thats old enough to get into a serious relationship... so i think it's safe to say that you're not going into a 'crush' or lust, its just that u must be looking around, and u met a girl you may really really like...
but speaking from a teenagers point of view, a crush can start out based on a persons great personality... for all one can care, the person they began to have a crush on maybe hideous looking... but u know that say that goes 'i dont love u because ur beautiful, ur beautiful because i love u' well often times.. i know im gettin really really stretchy here... but teens consider this 'crush' as in love.. and so they begin to lust for this person.. and according to my definition, lusting for a person can just be wanting to desperatly speak to them or be with them or see them... and we are not of age to be feeling this kinda stuff
i mean wanting to speak to ur best friend or see them is different then wanting to see or speak to some guy or girl u may have a crush on... different ppl cause different feelings
and just one last little note... the authors of the dictionaries aren't exactly God... neither were the translators of the bible... so i guess u can define lust as whatever u'd like to... u can either be really broad or really narrow... but if according to ur definition, what would u define our 'lust' as?
i dont mean to come across in an offensive way as i sometimes do seem to... just stating my opinion n going on my merry way
bye :D
Don't worry my friend, I don't get offended easily. :)
I suppose that we can define "lust" however I want if I so choose. But that's not the issue. The important thing for us to know is what the Bible means when using this term, because it is this specific meaning that determines whether our conduct rises to the level of sin. To me, what you mean by the word "lust" is not the same as Biblical lust, which is why I I believe that what you're talking about is *not* a sin.
So if it's Biblical lust that we need to go by, why do I choose a dictionary definition? (Stay with me, because the explanation is kinda complicated. And don't feel bad if you have to read it twice, lol.)
The Bible that I read is an English translation of the original text. The Books of the Bible were written in the native tongues of the original authors. Whether it was Greek, Hebrew, Latin, Aramaic, or whatever, I'm not certain. Regardless, it is logical to conclude that Biblical experts translated those verses from those ancient languages into English. Biblical translators, just like other kinds of translators, have to decide which words in English best fit the words in the original language of the Books so as to communicate the true meaning of the writings to English speakers.
In order to know which words in English to choose for their translations, Biblical translators base their decisions on the standard meanings of words in English that best fit the words used in the ancient language of the Biblical verses. For example, there are numerous verses in the Bible that use the word "abba", which is an Aramaic word that means "male parent". So to translate this into English, the experts would need a word whose standard definition is "male parent". In this case, a translator would choose the word "father".
So take Matthew 5:28, which gives a rule on the subject at hand. "But I say to you that whoever looks at a woman to LUST for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart." [emphasis added] The Biblical experts who translated this verse from Aramaic to English specifically chose the word "lust" to communicate what Matthew originally wrote in Aramaic. For whatever reason, the translators must have believed that the standard definition of "lust' in English most closely fit the word used in the original Aramaic text of Matthew. So where do we look to find standard definitions for English? In an English dictionary, of course!
Now SMS, if you understand all that I wrote above, then you're 50 IQ points smarter than I was at your age. :D
God bless!
i ask that you take a look at the "proof of the bible" thread... maybe thatll clear up the translation confusion a bit... then get back to me
sleepy
i understood it fully... i just dont agree with it
i ask that you take a look at the "proof of the bible" thread... maybe thatll clear up the translation confusion a bit... then get back to me
But you're not telling me what it is that you disagree with. Do you think that translators don't go by standard definitions? Or do you believe that "lust" is not the appropriate word in those verses that were cited? Or do you disagree with that there is such a thing as standard definitions? So it'd be much more hlpeful for me if you just state your point rather than just referring me to somewhere else. Otherwise, I'd have to guess whatever it is that you're trying to state from that thread. :)
[quote author=sleepymusician link=board=1;threadid=344;start=60#msg4150 date=1087789696]
I don't know if you guys mentioned this or not, but how can you be sure that a realtionship will remain clean? It may start out that way, and last awhile like that, but things ALWAYS get out of hand in your teenage years. Pretty soon one person will fall for the other person, and that's when it becomes a problem. You may be able to protect yourself, but that other person may not have the same things in mind.
An even better question is how can you be sure of anything at all would be clean? Everytime you walk out the door of your home, you run the risk of sinning. This is a danger that follows us in every waking moment of our lives no matter what we do. So we can't just avoid an action merely because there's a risk of sin. Otherwise, we may as well just put ourselves in a self-induced coma for the rest of our days.
Also, I'd add that our God is a just God, so He's not going to punish you for someone else's sin. He will only judge you based on the choices that you've made. So unless you KNOW of a SUBSTANTIAL risk of of tempting someone else to sin, I don't think you need to worry about other people's behavior from a morality standpoint.
God bless!
Pretty soon one person will fall for the other person, and that's when it becomes a problem. You may be able to protect yourself, but that other person may not have the same things in mind.
sleepy
I don't know sleepy if that will really become a problem when one person falls for another beacuse if that happenes maybe the second person would fall for the first then those 2 would be a couple that later on ready for marriage and create a great Christian family
Ever thought of it that way?
NC, you're right. Everytime you walk out the front door, you stand the chance of sinning, but at least you're not putting yourself at risk for it. A relationship puts you at rick because of all the things involved in it, but YOU chose to get yourself into that relationship.
sleepy
i know God puts the right person in our way but we have to do something from our side take a step from our side
Just something to ponder.
sleepy
i know God will do things for us but we have to work too
"To everything there is a season, A time for every purpose under heaven"
Ecclesiastes 3:1
work towards that goal when it's time for it...
CS
Wasim... as we discussed in the dating thread: are u seriously emotionally mature yet? are you financially prepared? are you academically finished?
if so... then maybe God can send down ur potential suitor
only thing is i find it quite hard to believe an 18 or 19 or even 20 year old can be emotionally mature and prepared enough to take on the life of another person when there are people that are only few years older than them that do not feel that they are yet ready, of course, maturity varies from person to person... but i find it hard to believe to fall 'in love' at such a young age.
i dont mean to be directing this towards u... this is just my general opinion
dont forget... marriage is a lifetime commitment where you can not be selfish
right now we're selfish and think only of ourselves... i dont mean this in a rude way... and i know some of us that are in here are the most caring and generous people ever, but we are still only young and naiive humans... and overall, we're selfish
i mean how many parties have we sacraficed? how many visits to a friends house? and i dont mean if u werent allowed to go cause ur parents said so, i mean how many did u actually volutnarily sacrafice and give up because u selflessly wanted to do something for someone else, such as ur parents or siblings... i bet not many of us
we think we're ready... but we're not... marriage as i said is a commitment where the holy spirit joins you and ur significant other as one body, one spirit, and one soul... unless ur ready to do the sharing and seriously do everything for the other person... ur not ready
marriage or engagement or the 'dating period' isnt meant to be for fun... its meant to be enjoyed... but not for one's personal amusement
as far as crushes go... u know ull get over it soon (hence y its called a crush!)
im done babbling :D
WE'LL NEVER END!!!!!!!!!!!!! lol. ;D
sleepy
God bless!
sleepy