Around 2 years ago, I became involved with a girl. Sadly, I fell and became intimate with her once. I thought that since my friends and I had always "checked out" girls and such that we were adulterers at heart. What difference did it make if I actually did it. Of course, I was wrong and am now paying the price: guilt, regret, and sadness.
I am trying to build up the courage to go confess. But, how do I know if I am truly repentant at heart? I definitely don't want to ever do it again but some days, I remember what I did and it doesn't bother me as much as other days (just being honest here).
I know I should not be asking the following questions, but forgive me: If I am servant in the church, will Abouna ask me to step down? Also, I have heard from some that as long as a true repentance and confession takes place, one should not inform a future spouse because it will create unnecessary tension over a past sin. However, some sources have said the spouse needs to be informed? Lastly, do you have state whether you are a virgin or not during your wedding (I've heard this before and sorry if it sounds stupid).
Thank you everyone