Lettuce's Updates (Fast - Complete, Lesson - Complete)



  • you'll look rough when you're 90 anyway, and so will your wife.
    relationships based on looks tend not to last.
    i know lots of happy married people who are quite ugly
    (don't tell them i said that)!

    more seriously, if you work on your spiritual life, you'll develop a lovely character, and you're peaceful smile will make you permanently beautiful.
  • [quote author=mabsoota link=topic=14193.msg164139#msg164139 date=1365539853]
    you'll look rough when you're 90 anyway, and so will your wife.
    relationships based on looks tend not to last.
    i know lots of happy married people who are quite ugly
    (don't tell them i said that)!

    more seriously, if you work on your spiritual life, you'll develop a lovely character, and you're peaceful smile will make you permanently beautiful.

    I'm  actually not unattractive, I regret saying that. I like the way I look, anyone who doesn't can go away. What I want to try and avoid is a relationship based on looks. But it seems that almost all of them start that way anyways.

    You're right though, I have to work on my spiritual life.
  • With a carefree attitude to my issue, I have spoken to several girls and several random people and I have improved thousands of folds. Hmm, this is looking quite good. My confidence is high, everything is alright, I got spotted on the University spotted thing where a girl called me super duper cute, handsome, and told me she loves my smile. Shame she didn't say that to my face. Well, time to roll over exams.
  • Got a NEW NAME GUYS! A little shorter too; I gotta make it easier to remember :)
  • I'm now getting professional help from counselling.
  • Didn't see the counselling yet :/

    I'm now in a very bad state. I was going good, reached a good level of happiness linearly and then, just as the break starts, summer starts, my happiness peaks, then drops exponentially down to zero. I think my dopamine and oxytocin levels are literally zero.

    I'm descending into chaos right now. It's never been this bad, never been worse. Panic is filling my heart, the first time I ever felt panic and despair out of depression.
  • I broke, I will see counselling, I cried, I was unable to sustain, I just went crazy today, mid-day, I literally just stopped walking and began weeping more than I have ever wept before in the middle of my break (thank God it was my break). On the bus home from Campus I cried more and then decided to do something life-changing. I was finally able to funnel my emotion and direct it to art. My creative brain got a good working as I wrote my first ever meaningful poem written from the true emotion, true heart.

  • Hello :)
    I just want you to know that you aren't alone. Everyone has the blues at some point, but some go through tough times more and deeper than others. There are a lot of factors that can make you feel more down and upset, and many of them you may not realize or be trained to point out.
    I had a friend who was always cheerful, cracked jokes like it was her birthday everyday, and always made everyone around her happy. Unfortunately, she was suffering from painful joints, and started taking over the counter medication for it. After she started taking these medications, her mood completely changed. It changed to the point where she was doing worse in school, her relationships were harmed, and she stopped enjoying life. She went to see a professional, and found out that she was taking the over the counter medications incorrectly. After this was discovered, everything went back to normal and her pain was controlled another way.

    What we don't know is that many many things can cause you to feel upset and it isn't always just the circumstances we go through. This is why I strongly urge you to seek professional help. Causes of depression could be as simple as a minor change in diet to improper use of medication to an undiagnosed but treatable health problem. Trust me, it may take less than 5 minutes for a professional's eye to point out a simple cause to your blues, and most likely you're going to slap yourself in the face for not going earlier! Yes, sometimes it needs counseling and more guidance, but that first step is of the utmost importance.

    May the peace which the Lord promised you engulf your soul as He said, "My peace I leave with you; My Peace I give to you. Not as the world gives, do I give to you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid"
  • Hi David,

    Thanks for your reply, I can't thank you enough. I still haven't seen a professional or anyone yet. I'm oh so very shy. I'm just confused right now, I'm confused about what to think and what to do.  >:(

    I'm very screwed in all ways possible, bahahaha.

    I have it all figured out in my head, I have the solutions and everything but you know what seems sad. It seems like this world revolves around one thing and one thing only and that is sex. I wish it weren't and I, myself, do not revolve around sex because I have learned and trained myself to suppress my limbic system and think properly about certain situations. It doesn't help that I'm just so hopeless romantic and I want love... but since the world revolves around sex, then the world is superficial because nothing else really matters... but, really, what we really only possess is our mind, heart and soul, nothing else matters as long as we have those three. Very few people see that, obviously very few girls.

    I don't know, my desire for a partner and for love is growing and it just never stops... I keep trying really hard to improve myself and keep improving but I think there is a break point and I might have hit it. I have grown to be wiser over the rough month alone, and I try my best to cope but this is what I have come to: No one will ever like me, or love me, no girl will ever. I am hopeless and there's no quelling anything. I do not fit in properly in either cultures I know of and I just simply don't know what to do so I'll stop trying....

    Problem now is that I'm still trying! I can't stop fighting.... I feel given up but I just can't give up on love.... Maybe I'll just make up an imaginary girlfriend and live with her. I do know what to do but It's hard for me and I don't know if its right. Like the guy and his fiance, the fiance kissed another guy a long time ago and now the guy posts here and is very upset. I don't want to go out and conduct sexual activities with girls... not even kiss... because now I am seeing this and just one simple kiss hurt another person... the last thing I want upon my girlfriend and, later, wife, is any of that stuff. But I never know if she'll hurt me or not... it's confusing, what should I do? I just don't understand and I'm having a rough time...

    I wish life would be simple but its not, why does everything have to be so complicated like this? Why does love have to be hard to find? Why is the world like this so corrupt? I really need help here. I don't want a partner for the purpose of sex, that's just stupid, but it seems like that's the way the world operates and I hate it so much. Why can't things be advanced as the human we are.

    I guess it doesn't matter how good of a person I am or all that stuff, I'm just lost, forever.

    And guys, I'm working really hard mentally to try and figure it all out and I am making progress, but the more progress I make the more issues I run into and then I become sad again and all that. Sometimes I haven't ironed out an issue fully and I'm still struggling with it. Here are some things I'm struggling with: self-esteem, I think very very lowly of myself if not, I think I'm nothing, also, I feel alone still... no girls still. I've talked with girls but nothing picked up, maybe just one friendship with a girl... at least I've gone that far. See my progress? I'm trying my best to keep up to. Please, please, with all your hearts pray for me...

    I also need to get closer to God... I've been drifting for a while due to all this atheism stuff... I'm very close to it, I'm not sure what to do really.... AGAIN, I'M LOST!!! I'm lost in all possible ways, I cannot help but be lost and I need love, but never get love. It seems that there will never be anyone there, RIGHT THERE next to me to help me but there are so many people online. Maybe because I am very good at talking online and suck at talking in real life so I can't really talk to anyone and it hurts, help me out people, please help me out, what should I do?
  • hey, just tell someone 'my life sucks, how's yours?'
    even better if u tell a priest or a doctor.

    the good thing is you are young so you have time to get this sorted out before you have any emergency to get married (by emergency, i mean like being over 40 and wanting to have kids).

    if u tell someone how you feel, then u passed (succeeded in) a very important lesson in life.
    this is something u have to learn before u get into a romantic relationship 'how to ask for help'.
    if you are in a relationship with someone who never asks for help it is very, very hard, so you can learn now how not to be that person.
    God guide u and help u.
  • Words of encouragement, Mabsoota! I thank you so much for just simply making me feel better. You make my self-esteem go up so much because you speak in a way that shows me my achievements and what I've been through, and it helps to know that I really am progressing.

    Do you see any progression?

    I had a miracle happen to me today... Jesus was walking with me, no joking around, I'm serious. I was walking home, a 30 minute walk, and then I looked behind me half way down and saw no one (it's one straight road). Then, being almost to my street I stopped to check for animals in a very dark area and kept walking, then I noticed movement behind me, I took my earbuds out and noticed someone walking right next to me with dirty blondish long hair and a beard... he was wearing a red hoodie and grey track pants. I was surprised, and then we walked together the rest of the way and talked a little about the walk itself and buses and such. Then, at my street, I turned, he asked for the time, I told him a time 1 hour early by accident, then corrected myself and said the right time. He told me to have a good night and I said 'you too' and we were on our ways. What bothers me is that he seemed to have appeared out of thin air. I was walking with no one behind me and all of the sudden he is behind me (he walks the same route). I was also feeling lonely and depressed at the point where I noticed him and was just about to break... Jesus came and saved me.
  • I've been progressing quite well.  I almost killed myself last week by drinking 7 litres of water within an hour. I got body pains all over, severe ones and felt very weak then fainted on my bed. Woke up 18 hours later just fine thank God.

    Then I made appointment with counseling, and things have been going uphill quite nicely.
  • well done for your appointment, keep up the counselling and i think u need to see a doctor too.
    most 'suicide attempts' don't work coz they just make you horribly disabled instead. so give that up.
    avoid nihilistic literature and atheist stuff too, coz that's just too depressing.
    listen to positive tunes and help out old people, it keeps the good vibes going.
  • Depends how strong the pain is. And water suicide is bound to work if done properly. I'm a scientist, I have so much power in my mind it is unbelievable. It's easy to kill myself in a heartbeat. For my body mass, proportions and composition I'm pretty darn sure 11.5 litres of water within an hour will be sufficient for brain death. I will not be doing no crap like that because I'd rather live and see my new found hope (just yesterday) grow. The tree in front of my house is a baby, I want to see it  all grown up and taller than my house.. that will take decades... I'm safe, I'm very safe, friends.

    The reason people kill themselves, people who are not sick (mentally), is because of a gigantic flux of emotional AND physical pain all at once, the derivative is massive, within three orders. That would cause shock, anxiety, panic, and sometimes suicide. I suspect half suicides are likewise, and absolutely everyone is prone to it. Many people have that huge flux in their lives but then there is the grief and sorrow period, and people around you to help you, that brings people away from the peak, the brink. I'm not sick, I'm pretty sure of that, it's just I've been living a huge different lifestyle than others, and that's why I'm depressed as I begin to try to fit in. But I am using ALL your advice on a daily basis, I'm doing fine!

    So don't worry about me, I'll be perfectly fine. I'm happy right now, even though I am trying to push the depression away, it's still there, but I'm happy and I know exactly what to do to murder depression: keep moving forward on my own and steady pace, never comparing that of mine to that of others.

    Thank you, for I have progressed greatly. Again, I'm doing fine. Thanks for worrying about me and being awesome friends during my time of need and those who messaged me. Really, that helped me so much, no kidding, no kidding at all.

    You guys are stars.
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