edited December 1969 in Faith Issues
Hi everyone
I kinda have this problem and need quite a bit of help and advice
Ive known this about myself for a while but kept denying it but now im just sick of it and need to overcome these problem. firstly I completely believe in God and everything but (as terrible as it sounds) Ive just stopped caring about my spiritual life and God. I've tried to pray and read and ask for guidance and support from God, but every time I try to get close to Him, i fall worse then i ever have before and literally every aspect of my life gets worse and worse. I try to pray to get closer to God and to cut off sins and desires, even though part of me deep down doesnt wawnt to get rid of these sins, so I ask to have this desire cut off, and still nothing. I have committed sins in the past week i would have never even thought about and at this point i just feel as if i have been abandoned by God- every time i ask for help and try to change everything gets worse, so mentality has reached the point of who even cares anymore basically. My life is going nowhere- i dunno what to do in life, in fact there is nothing i want to do, nothing i care for anymore. I have nothing to look forward to. I have no close or real friends, I dont even have God to lean on at this point. Another major problem that may have lead to this problem is that i have felt, and still kinda feel more attached to the church than to God. I dunno im honestly just sick and tired of this and I dont really know what to do,
anything would help at this point


  • I think you are the only person who starts his sentence with " I kinda..." when in serious trouble. Start from simple things like writing full words and sentences. It is about Rules. Grammars and spellings have their own rules just as God has His. Try strictly follow His commandments then you will see God's Will. Each thing you do according to God's Will will make you closer to God just as each will drive you away if you don't follow. God is just. God is Love. God is Merciful. There is no God for you and another for us or them. It is we that change not God. If you feel like God is abandoned you then it is just because you are running away from Him. Always blame yourself for anything that happens in your life. Blaming God or others won't bring you to the reality. 99% of the time it is our fault and 1% may be others' fault and 0% of the time God's fault. 
  • A good post, binC.

    We must also ask ourselves how much we love God, and how much we love the things we hope God will give us. If we have no sense of God's presence are we willing to persevere in loving and serving God as we should, or do we bargain with him - you give me good feelings and I'll see about stopping a few of the sins I am engaged in.

    We must begin surely by asserting that there is no good in us and all of our faults are entirely due to our own lack of care and attention and love for God. We must ask God for his grace and then act on the grace he gives. He will not and does not save us without ourselves and our own effort. If we will not make an effort then we will not receive grace. If we act only out of a desire for blessings of various kinds then we are not able to receive grace.
  • Hi Curios,

    Thank you for being so honest and open about your difficulties. I am sorry that you are suffering this way at the moment. It takes a strong individual to admit where they are in their life. I suspect that the fact that you are even thinking about this and reflecting on your situation shows you care more about your spiritual life and God than you might think at first. Is this not what the Prodigal Son in Jesus' parable did before he returned to his Father. He spent some time really thinking about where he was.....

    Before commenting any further I want to ask one of two questions. You are welcome to answer these or not to answer. It's up to you. How long have you been feeling this way? ((When we experience low mood, disturbance in appetite or sleep, and a loss of desire to angage in life or social interaction for long periods of time it may be an indication of underlying depression. (Usually 6 months to a year or more would be considered along time.))

    It is often helpful to think about the following:
    How am I eating? (Diet affects mood and energy)
    How am I sleeping? (Tiredness can also affect mood)
    Am I getting any excercise? (Excercise is one of the most effective ways to lift mood.) We sometimes get so caught up in philosophical, spiritual and mental struggles that we forget to notice that our physical health might be inadequate. As human beings we are both spiritual and physical beings. If we are ill, if we don't eat well, and if we dont excercise it is harder to overcome difficult life circumstances. It is not impossible as many Saints of the past have shown, but it is more difficult.

    This brings me to the next point. The Saints who coped with great suffering in their lives and overcame this did not just suddenly become 'those kind of poeple'. Every discipline they practiced, and every step they took in their lives prepared them for the difficult moments they faced. They had to be faithful in the small things before facing the big things in life. The sum of all the small acts in our lives prepare and become the great acts of our lives. So my next question is:

    Are the goals you are setting for yourself at this time too big? Could you be taking smaller, rather than bigger steps toward your goals? (If goals are too big, and we constantly fail, it becomes de-motivating, and we lose hope, eventually giving up.)

    Over the years I have also learned that some thought patterns get in the way. Our thoughts often become apparent in the words we use. I often watch out for certian words, because they are warning signs that my thoughts may be inaccurate, exaggerated or faulty. The words I look out for are words like, 'always' (since nothing ever always happens, things tend to happen some of the time.). I also look out for words like 'nothing' or 'no one' for the same reasons. Life is never this black and white. I noticed you used words like:

    - "every time I try..." (Really? Every time?)
    - "every aspect of my life gets worse..." (Really? In every aspect?)
    - "I have nothing to look forward to." (This thought assumes that you can look into the future.)
    - "I have no close or real friends"

    A wonderful way to combat this kind of thinking is to challenge these thoughts and look at the evidence (remember that sometimes we pick the evidence to fit out story, so be careful.)

    Another way is to cultivate a sense of gratititude in life. We all have some things to be greatful for. (Like waking up in the morning, having had a meal today, being able to have brief conversation with someone etc.) There are always things to be greatful for, even small things. I sometimes make a daily habit of counting down ten things (on my fingers) that I am greatful for. I don't stop untill I was able to think about 10 things. I then thank God for these. This is also a proven way to lift mood.

    Sometimes we also 'lose a sense of contact' with someone else in our lives (both human and divine) when we feel wronged in some way. We feel that we have been let down and therefore we have lost trust in the other person or God. I still think the best way to manage this is to just open you heart and tell the other person or God in what way you felt wronged or let down. You might want to consider doing this witha  trusted spiritual advisor or priest as well, or even confession.

    And lastly, sometimes life is just difficult, and no matter what one does, it remains difficult for a while. In these cases I have found it best to just accept this fact, and remind oneself that the one thing about this life and this world that we do know is that everything is changeable. Everything changes and nothing stays the same. We can remind ourselves that since everything changes, this situation too will pass eventually, just like past seasons of happiness and sadness have come and gone. We can remind ourselves that God does not put obstacles in our way beyond our ability to deal with them. The very fact that you and I are still here is proof of that. This too will pass.

    I hope that this is helpful. If not, or if I misundertsood, please let me know.

    Best Wishes

  • great post Gerhard, i really benefited from it.

    Curios, i'd just like to share something that i heard in a sermon last sunday. One of the servants who was giving it said that as the new year comes, we all try our best to cut off sins and stop doing them. and then we fail...
    this is because we can't do it ourselves. he said, don't try to cut off the sin, just focus on God.

    sometimes we get so wrapped up in our problems, that we tend to forget that God is a refuge for us. like we're supposed to go to Him for rest.
    so, this advice  may seem crazy, but i suggest just forgetting all your problems, and starting a new way of life. we all want this "newness" of life that St. Paul speaks about. so forget your past, and just go ahead and start from scratch.
  • @BinC, I'm sorry i will attempt to fix my grammar and thank you for your clarification, I understand it is I who is at fault and not God
    @Fr Peter, Thanks for your help as well abouna, i admit i am at fault for this bargaining technique
    @Gerhard thanks for your great post, in rellation to your questions,
    To be honest I dont really know how long its been. It started off a few months ago when we were having this conversation at school about God vs Atheisim and I came out of this conversation not denying Gods existence but beginning to question it. I however later on became conviced that there is a God, but I wasnt sure if the christian God was the God. I researched into Islam a little after seeing a few videos online, but I don't knnow what happened and I just lost all interest in it. So, i just remained a christian asking for guidance to know the right way. So after writing this I realize that these problems began when I turned away from God, as Fr Peter and BinC said.

    To answer your sub-qiestions I'm eating fairly normal, though during the fasts I attempt to fast till noon or 3 but sometimes end up not eating till 5 since thats when I normally get home. I sleep fairly well for a student so about 6-8 hours a day. And I workout/weightlift every other day.
    In relation to the goals I dont think they are too big. They are like pass this upcoming test and such.
    your post was very helpful though, thank you
    @ForeverYours I like your advice its also very helpful, I will try that. Thankl you so much
  • If a cancer patient asks God but does not take action, would the blame still lay with God?
Sign In or Register to comment.