should i go get help?

edited December 1969 in Personal Issues
i have lost everything i have felt pain i just keep crying everything has just hit me hard i do not sleep should i just go to the hospital and request to stay in there for a very long time? its to much to handle i cant live without one person i really cant


  • [quote author=bigeee link=topic=11734.msg140302#msg140302 date=1309188300]
    i have lost everything i have felt pain i just keep crying everything has just hit me hard i do not sleep should i just go to the hospital and request to stay in there for a very long time? its to much to handle i cant live without one person i really cant

    Forget about everything, piss off to a new city, leaving all your problems at the departure gate, and start fresh. Really, you seem like a guy wanting certain things and when something happens that ruin your progress you collapsed. Get up, Man! The world is filled with humans! Forget everyone that hurt or affected you negatively and fly off, restarting and jumpstarting your life. Seriously, Life is too good for being stuck in a hospital. Go enjoy it, with people or alone!
  • Psalm 118

    6 The LORD is on my side;
            I will not fear.
            What can man do to me?
    7 The LORD is for me among those who help me;
            Therefore I shall see my desire on those who hate me.
    8 It is better to trust in the LORD
            Than to put confidence in man.
    9 It is better to trust in the LORD
            Than to put confidence in princes.


  • Hi Bigeee,
                To follow GOD we sometimes have to do the opposite of where we're at. You seems to me that your feeling alone, so you seeks others. But GOD wants us to be free. So he tries to get us to be independant. Independance would be a big problem for someone who feels they are alone. It's an opposite. So if GOD had got you to be independant then, I guess, GOD will have defeated your lonelyness.
            There has to be movement, so try not to judge, as this is comdemnation. To comdemn is a finish, so nothing moves from there. The church is dogmatic, so it does'nt change it what it believes, that's all. Try not to blame others for your lonelyness. We're still here on this web wanting to help you.

    GOD bless you Bigeee.
  • it hurts that abouna himself says that jesus would not say no to love just cause her family is mad at my family who is muslim but i was not born saying i want to be a muslim its a very unfair situation

    i am broken down inside damaged i can never say i love you to any other girl even if her family accepts me cause id be lying cause i only love 1 girl and the fact i dont give up though hell basically should show i love her but people can be cold

    how can a person say i love you one minute then the next say i lost feelings for you then say there in church crying cause i do not want to be there friend and that they still love me all in 1 hour time

    how can i have taking that? but yet i still love this person i mean i did something very bad saturday night to her but it is cause i have nothing to hide cause i make mistakes but i knwo she is not one of them

    i was always there for this person no matter what and yes i might have made mistakes with this person but yet i gaveher all my love no matter what

    yea i said id like my stuff back the gifts i gave her but i did not want them back really i said that to trick her so she can meet me so i can see her and give her a hug cause i been having nightmares about this person dying

    i am just so dead inside
  • Bigeee, I was reading the sayings of the Desert Fathers earlier today and found something that really helped me cope with my own situation. Maybe it could also help you in yours, if you meditate on it.

    Abba Nilus said 'Do not always be wanting everything to turn out as you think it should, but rather as God pleases, then you will be undisturbed and thankful in your prayer.'

    I know it seems impossible to imagine now, but God has some other plan for you that may not include this girl. Also, you may think that you'll only love one girl, but that's not actually true. It just feels like that when you meet someone you care about. But just like you met this one that you care about who it didn't work out with, you will meet another you will care about who it WILL work out with, in God's time.
  • trust me i mean i do understand what you are saying and i am not just saying this cause i am hard headed no but the fact i have loved this girl for 3 years  that says alot its a very cold world it really is god does not say do not accept one cause his family is muslim i mean does the fact i got baptised mean nothing? cause i love god but still people look at my family it is not fair its not a fair argument i bet if i had a christian family it would not be so bad but i have no one but myself i really do not
  • i know couples who there mate cheated on them but they solved it and got married where the family forgave the guy for cheating this is not minor i mean can it actually compare to my family being muslim> cheating to what my family is but the fact is it is forgotten that i am christian for god my family has nothing to do with my life its unfair im losing a person that i love dearly for that fact yet a guy who cheated on his girlfriend not fiancee yet can marry this girl?
  • Bigee, is the love unconditional? True love is unconditional, unconditional means without conditions in every single aspect. So if you don't love her culture, or family you can't love her. You marry a girl with her family you know. Jesus taught us to love our enemies.
  • were both coptic and if i didnt love her or love her family i would have given up a while ago
  • +God doesn't tempt us beyond what what we can bear.

    Why do you worry too much about this situation.. is it not in God's hands? Can anything in God's hands be nothing but good? - even if we can't see it? Trust He will solve it to the best, whether you like the results or not. Trust that He is your heavenly Father Who loves you more than anyone in this world can and does what is best for you.

    "Look at the birds of the air, for they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns; yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? Which of you by worrying can add one cubit to his stature?" - Matthew 6:26-27

    If we took control of our lives instead of God, it surely would have diminished from existence long ago.

    If He takes this girl away from you, should you be upset with God? No. Because He can see what we can't. He can see, for example, that this girl isn't compatible with you or whatever.. stand up in all confidence and move on.
    You maybe are focusing too much on this girl for your happiness. Try not to focus too much on people for happiness. Try to focus on God, He is the one who can truely give joy. In due time God will answer about marriage (but there's a possibility we could end up dying tonight so we shouldn't focus that much on temporary things but rather on things that are eternal...)

    God is the one who puts these people in our life so thank Him for His gifts, and whether these affect your life in a positive way or a negative way, try to see what lessons you can learn and apply them to your life.
    Did God give us this life to worry about what people think of us, whether they love us? Not exactly. It's the difference we make in people's lives through serving them is what matters. Pope Kyrillos used to say, "love people but stay away from people" meaning, love people, but don't get too comfortable with them that we lose respect/manners for eachother.
    God doesn't give us the people we want. He gives us the people we need. To help us, to hurt us, to love us, to leave us, to make us into the person He wants us to be.

    and in every situation, good or bad, thank Him! God knows what He's doing.
  • Very good points, +iloveJesus. It took me several ruined romantic and other relationships to learn the "don't depend on others but God for happiness" part, but boy is it ever the truth! And the sooner you learn it, the better off you are. Sometimes it takes weeks, months, or years, but nothing that happens to us is ever without reason or meaning. It's just like you said, that God knows those reasons and we don't. He will reveal them to us in His time, if it is His will that we know them. In the meantime, we do well not to agonize over that which we cannot understand. (I write this for myself to remember next time I am doing that!  :-[)
  • im sorry but i wont give up on 1 person cause its true love.the lord gives us a mind to think with.and for example when marrages fail its not from the lord but from us humans.we give up to easy as humans.if jesus was not killed on the cross for us where would we be?i wont give up on a girl who did mothing but good for me.those are facts now emotians.
  • [quote author=TITL link=topic=11440.msg138026#msg138026 date=1305550180]
    GOD gives us the free will, but our parents don't. Sometimes it's just forced on us, and we get little or no say.

    Reality, sadly, isn't like the love stories you see in movies. Falling in love is a bonus in marriage. It doesn't happen often.

    this is exactly what is happening with me now
  • as for exercising your own will to choose someone.. of corse you can chose. god won't be upset with anyone for choosing your own heterosexual partner according to your own free will, but you run into trouble, sooner or later, if your choice does not match his principles. that is ... if you love your own free will more than his will, then you cannot say you love God. Jesus said: 'He who loves me does the will of my father who is in heaven'. 

    just cause my family is muslim is not fair i try very hard to be a better person

    and her friends judge me even before knowing me just cause i use to be muslim my actions are knowen for the best intent  i defended this 1 person through thiick and think

    i love this girl so much how can i give up on true love i wont just cause my familys is muslim i chose christ that should not be forgotten at all

    i really love this girl and like for her mom to not want me for her daugther just cause of my back round is very unfair

    i asked about would jesus say no to me marrying this girl he said no jesus would not say no but her parents would just cause my family backround

    but yet we always say what would jesus do? well if abouna himself said jesus would not say no he would approve why would her parents say no just cause my family i mean i came to christ did i not
    so basically my baptisem i nthis case means nothing?
    its very unfair sitatuion it really is
  • In Luke 16:1-14 you see the parable of the shrewd manager.* If you read this you will see that this shrewd manager got himself out of a bad situation through clever tactics, but what he did was wrong in the end because he cheated his master.* The reason he got into this situation is because he was lazy in doing his job in the first place.* Most Christians fall into this apathetic attitude where they are just waiting for God to magically make things happen in their life.* I've always liked the saying... when you pray to God for a hole, he doesn't just go *poof* there is a hole... he gives you a back hole, or a shovel... or sometimes all you get is a spoon, but the opportunity to dig that hole is still there.* God is always faithful and always opens doors for us, the problem is if you don't have a heart full of love, compassion, and a willingness to work hard you will completely miss the blessings he has sent you.* It's an issue of the heart being full of the right things, not of your level of spirituality or any of that other crap.* Most of the folks that I know who got married didn't marry "the best catch they ever found," but instead married the person that their heart was in the right place and they chose to serve in loving and compassionate ways.* God blesses dilligence, even in relationships.* He does not bless self seeking judgement of whether or not this person is going to make me happy and meet my  requirements for a marriage partner.

    Now this particular passage stands out amongst all of the other ones in Luke 16 to me in how God deals with his servants.* "Whoever can be trusted with very little can also be trusted with much, and whoever is dishonest with very little will also be dishonest with much."* This isn't the only time God says this.* This is the entire lesson of the parable of the talents wherein the Master always replies to the servant who >does well with what he is given< with this statement "21"His master replied, 'Well done, good and faithful servant! You have been faithful with a few things; I will put you in charge of many things. Come and share your master's happiness!'"*

    So my question to you who seek marriage is this.* Do you do the things that you will have to do once you are married that you are allowed to do outside of marriage for those who are in your life right now?* Do you pour love out in small things?* Do you show compassion in small things?* Men do you wash people in the water of the words?* Women do you reach out to other women who are lonely and save them from their loneliness?* Men are you working to be a provider and giving to the people around you?* Women do you work with eager hands like it says in Prov 31?* Men do you work to protect those around you... not just from physical danger which is a little thing to God, but most importantly from spiritual danger and sin which "kills the soul"?* Women do you extend your hands to the poor and reach out to the needy (prov 31 also)?* Men do you love those around you even though it is so unnatural for you to do so as you will need to do when you have a wife?

    There is no cookie cutter system to get God to bless us, but he is always faithful, and when we read the manual we oftentimes find that the answers are a lot more simple than we make it out.* If we are not faithful in small things why would the Lord trust us with such a large blessing as a spouse?* The truth is, it really isn't a big deal, but it does take consistency to be faithful in these things... and it does take hard work and your dilligence in small things will be blessed.

    now true love will be denied for a mom who does not approve of me cause of my past just cause my family is muslim really?
  • I know it's easier said then done, but you really need to leave your feelings for this girl behind and give your love to God instead. As has been mentioned to you already in this thread, it is only God who can completely satisfy us in this world. No matter how much we think we love someone else, no matter how much they love us back, no matter how often we sin to try to fill ourselves up, we will never, ever be completely satisfied without God:

    "For My people have committed two evils:
         They have forsaken Me, the fountain of living waters,
         And hewn themselves cisterns—broken cisterns that can hold no water." [Jeremiah 2:13]

    If you want to move on with your life, and feel perpetual happiness and contentment at all times, there is only one solution: to make sure that you are satisfied by God. I'm speaking like a hypocrite, but we should strive to attain this state: when our relationship with God is so strong that we continually feel his presence before us, when we fear nothing and need nothing because we feel Him always with us, when we no longer depend on material things to give us happiness.

    "A satisfied soul loathes the honeycomb,
         But to a hungry soul every bitter thing is sweet." [Proverbs 27:7]
  • well you know what i wont be one to say it is gods will cause we make things work out and we make things worst for ourselfs what you just said is commen sense we need the lord of course  but we also need commen sense in our own lives

    we shall not hurt people just because we feel it is not the lords will the lord gave us a mind to work with
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