Do you all know this saying? I feel like it might be an Americanism. It means that when something comes after a long absence, it happens in large amounts or to an intense degree. I mostly hear it and use it in the context of negative things, though I suppose it might not be restricted to negative things alone.
Anyway, it's how I'm feeling lately. Our Lord never guaranteed us an easy life (quite the opposite, in fact), and none of us deserve good things. I can accept that. But I have to be honest and admit that at some point, and I think I'm reaching that point, the fact that I can intellectually accept that as reality kind of breaks down and I'm left to wonder just when it's going to end. I'm not even really mad; more exasperated.
How do you all deal with this feeling when it comes to you? I've honestly fallen out of anything like regular prayer, and would like to re-establish that, but is there anything in particular I can do outside of praying the Agpeya? I don't like the feeling that my spiritual life is a bit of a one act show. Is there anything particular that I can pray or do in order to deal with this problem? I have found myself becoming very short-tempered lately, and am falling into other sins as well, as I suppose could be expected with the general wearing down of resistance and declining quality of life...
It's a tough world out there, and even more dangerous on the inside. I feel like I'm losing the battle on all fronts. Please, all of you: A word, if you can spare it, could help awaken my spirit. I would really appreciate it. Thank you.
Comments
I have entered the region of the "rain" on the good and the challenging sides. I do not say "bad", I say: "challenging".
What is the absolute first thing that you do in life? Answer: cry
I think that in and of itself resonates as the aspect of life--struggle. There are welcome interludes of rest within these challenges.
I do hit points of frustration and even anger, but I fall back on my family and friends to sound off my feelings.
Actually, I have the ability to get to a chapel and sit and talk with my head bowed as I am addressing the Almighty as He is enthroned at the altar. I talk to him no different than with a sibling or parent. I open my words without boundaries.
I stand or kneel and say my prayers in a formalized manner.
I make lists, and try to tackle one at a time; rather than all at one time.
I believe one has to be absolutely honest to themselves about the situational aspects that have caused certain issues to arise. If you can't be honest with yourself, with whom are you going to be honest?
Certainly an FOC is vital to helping with certain issues, others sometimes: academic, financial, and bureacratic--require other resources.
Sometimes things are completely outside of our control, and we have to accept that we did nothing to affect such a situation.
You are human. I am human. We are human.
Sometimes one may divert the rain, take advantage of the rain by storing it up or even use it as a resource to water the vegetation so that it may give forth good fruit. [I am speaking metaphorically].
The Lord is with you. The Lord is with me. The Lord is with all of us.
Are we willing to hold on to Him when things are difficult or are we going to risk letting go of His Hand and risk swimming in the sea by ourselves?
The Holy Spirit, the Comforter, for Whom we celebrate in this season [and all seasons] grant you proper conclusion to that which you seek.