Gossiping :/

i.love.st.demyana.

I need to stop gossiping, I know everyone does it but I feel i do it way to much. Does anybody have nay advice to what I can do every time i have the urge to gossip?

andrew8345

Dear simplycoptic,

One cannot gossip alone. Gossiping requires another person being involved (actively or passively). When people get together and gossip begins, I believe the main reason is: they lack real substance in their conversations! Gossiping is fun and easy small talk. People can gossip for hours, it never ends, and it is enjoyable.

First, start talking to people about meaningful subjects and holy topics - there is no room for meaningless chatter when you do that.

Second, reminding yourself of your sins and shortcomings is a great defense against gossiping. How can I laugh at the flaws of another?

Third, remember you are gossiping about your brother or sister in Christ.

Fourth, they are not there to defend themselves - which is unfair. There may have been a specific reason for something they did which we are unaware of.

Fifth, always be the bearer of goods news. Never speak of the evils of a person but their good. Christ frequently gave us this example (pointed out that the Samaritan woman told the truth).

Sixth, don't hang out with people who gossip.

We will be asked to give an account of each word that comes out of our mouths, so let us be cautious in what we say. As my FoC always tells me - "when you speak be the last to speak...because once you say something it is no longer private but public and cannot be taken back...it is recorded..."

God bless you.

Christ Is Risen!

servant33

There was a good sermon on orthodoxsermons.org that talked about judging. The speaker said that instead of gossiping against someone, if the conversation turns to gossip, always find a way to defend them in the conversation. It'll keep you on your toes and make you come up with reasons why they may have acted or done something, which may open your mind and the people you are talking to. Haha it provides a fun alternative to speaking badly about someone.

The example he gave was about someone judging someone "Wow, that person is always late to church" and then you respond "Well, what if she is always late because she has to go pick someone up to make sure they come to church?"

andrew8345

Haha, I like that alternative. It just goes to show that we can never really know the heart of a person or what their circumstances are, only God can.

For all I know the person who was late to church works two jobs and just came from a grave-yard shift! We really don't know sometimes, even when we think we do. . .

i.love.st.demyana.

thanks for the advice everyone  ;D