I told myself at the beginning of Holy Week that I wouldn't post on tasbeha.org, but it seems that I'm going to have to. Lately my faith in God has been wavering and I think that most people can tell this from my posts. I do not really enjoy prayer or reading of the Bible anymore and I just force myself to do them everyday. I have had less control over myself and have been falling into hideous sins, which I could not fathom doing before. I don't really know the solution to this, especially because I hate creating emotions and then saying they come from God.
I live very far from the nearest church and so am unable to attend Pascha (besides Good Friday) which only makes matters worse. I can't really find anyone around to help me in my spiritual life on a daily basis, and I only get to sit down with my FoC once a month. I have tried reading the Bible with my sister on a daily basis, but after 2 times she started refusing to read the Bible with me anymore. It is not quite that I don't believe in God, I still have the intellectual belief in him, but the spiritual belief in him is lacking.
Any advice would be helpful.