Longing for Monastacism

edited December 1969 in Faith Issues
Right now, I'm so stressed with work, family, school, and a million other things. Over the summer, I went to St. Antony's Monastery, and honestly, that was the first time I actually felt relaxed. (not that a monk's life is easy). I just feel like this world has nothing to offer.

"Do not love the world, nor the things which are in the world, for the world shall pass away and it's always desire"

Ever since I left the monastery, I've been wanting to go back everyday. and i'm sure i'm not the only one who felt this way when going to a monastery. I know it's it's wrong to want to go to a monastery just to escape the pressures of the world.

I guess what I'm trying to say is everyone wants to grow up, have kids, a family, a financially steady job,  and just a happy regular life. I don't want any of that. Honestly, I'm just in school right now so I can get a degree, not even for the money.

So my question is: Is it wrong to desire priesthood or monasticism? Is it a 100% calling and 0% choice?

Comments

  • Priesthood is a calling, monasticism is both. 

    When I went to monastery last year, I also became really attached and asked the monks to ordain me on the spot. They told me to finish school first.

    I'm a girl, BTW.

    I don't think there's anything wrong with wanting to give your life for Christ. Most of the saints did it :)

    I do think it's wrong to resort to monasticism as an escape from the pressures in the world or as a loss of hope for marriage.
  • I had a related question myself...

    What if you long for monasticism, and you've always felt called to it, but then something happened in your life and you feel like you can't go. Like, you wish God would intervene, personally remove what's stopping you, and then you could go.

    I guess my real question is this: Is monasticism really a calling? Like, if I want it, think I'm called for it, and I pray to God to find a way, do you think He'd remove the obstacle so I could go? Or would it not matter since people in the world can be saved as well? Or would only God be able to answer this question because only He knows who can be saved in the world or who in the monastery? lol
  • Monasticism isn't simply a bailout option for when life becomes too much for you. Its not an escape mechanism.

    Many people think that monasticism is for them, but because they desire it for the wrong reasons, they will never be fruitful therein. If you wish to become a monk just to escape from problems at home, you will not prosper as a monk. If you wish to to become a monk because you wish to be ordained to the priesthood, you will not proper as a monk. If you wish to become a monk because you think it will be a lot easier than your current life, not only are you sadly mistaken, but you will also not prosper as a monk.

    I don't think aiming to become a monk from the beginning is helpful. I think it is better to simply focus on living a good Christian life: to have a strong relationship with God is the most important thing for everyone, both monks and people living in a city. If you continually strive for God's will to be performed in your every action, I'm certain that when the time comes for the decision of monasticism vs. marriage, God will nudge you in the right direction you ought to take.

    I personally believe it to be a calling, and not something for every one. I think that some people are suited to thriving spiritually in the world, and others within the monastery.
  • It is very commendable to want to dedicate your life to God. The most important thing is that your spiritual Father guides you, and that you know what you are getting yourself into. A trip to the monastery is a good place to start, but it goes tremendously deeper then that. For a good read about the matter, I recommend reading H.G. Bishop Mettaos'  book called "The Sublimity of Monasticism" which you can download  here

    May God bless the vows of your heart.

    ReturnOrthodoxy
  • + Irini nem ehmot,

    [quote author=peter_saad link=topic=12527.msg146983#msg146983 date=1320263169]
    So my question is: Is it wrong to desire priesthood or monasticism?

    No.

    [quote author=peter_saad link=topic=12527.msg146983#msg146983 date=1320263169]
    Is it a 100% calling and 0% choice?


    No. It's 100% calling and 100% choice.
  • [quote author=TITL link=topic=12527.msg146985#msg146985 date=1320263909]
    Priesthood is a calling, monasticism is both. 

    When I went to monastery last year, I also became really attached and asked the monks to ordain me on the spot. They told me to finish school first.

    I'm a girl, BTW.

    I don't think there's anything wrong with wanting to give your life for Christ. Most of the saints did it :)

    I do think it's wrong to resort to monasticism as an escape from the pressures in the world or as a loss of hope for marriage.


    You're a girl? Why didn't you tell me, i have replied to you as a guy for so long if go back to some of my posts to you i refer to you as "hey man, he, him" you get my drift. Wow!!! That's all i have to say. Nice to meet the new you by the way, haha.

    On a more serious note (and relating to the topic):
    Yes, the monestary is very relaxing, but it's not because the monestary. It's about th solitude and quite you had. There was no rush hour around you, many people talking about useless things, kids makin noise, that's why you were comfortable. If you have some alone time/ quiet time by yourself like once a month or however you would like, you will be fine. Just make sure to use the alone time to pray the Jesus prayer or some spiritual building activity and not just fall asleep or drift into space.

    I will pray that God gives you His peace that the world can't offer.
  • You have to be living as a monk in this world before you attempt to live it in the desert. You have to lay the foundation for virtue here before you grow in the monastery. Don't think to yourself that you can start laying fondations in the monastery. This is where many monks have fallen away. Your foundations must be built here, because the monastery is relentless war with no break or respite.

    I couldn't agree more. The monastic life is an internal thing. It exists in full power before the monastery is even in sight.

    I think in the 21st century more than any other time our youth, especially young men are thinking about this way of life. What with seeing how men and women treat each other, the increase of unhappy marraiges, and the dry unsatisfied feeling the soul wallows in from the increasing vanity the world keeps creating in us.

    A good relationship is possible and it can well be accomplished. Those who join monasticism must primarily understand that marriage is a Christ instituted sacrament, but they must decide that they desire the monastic life.

    I'm a servant in the university meeting in our church and there isn't a week that passes by where i don't receive a youth expressing the longing for monastiscism.

    I think that it is important to note here that the reason a lot of the youth have this idea is incorrect. Although I am not a university servant, I do have a lot of people talking to me about the matter. My response to them is almost always to say, "The life of a saint does not come with a soundtrack." The real monastic life is nothing like what you see in the saint movies. It is not as if the moment you enter into the monastery you become silent, and every time you do metanias in the middle of the night sad a spiritual music comes on. The monastic life is often dry.

    Also, you mentioned that you visited a monastery and you felt at peace. How long did you spend there? The monastery is often one of the most contentious place in the world. Monks are some of the best fighters and arguers in the world, and they can hold a grudge for a while. It is difficult. The monastic life has many difficult parts that are not properly highlighted. You need to prepare for them in the world.

    Finally, as Abouna Anastasi said, he faced many stumbling blocks from his firends. you will begin to face them too. If you want to, you can easily overcome them. Even at this young age, you will be told to stay away from that thought, as monasticism is one of those taboo topics these days. In my opinion, you do not have to follow their advice. Think about it and work on it all you want. Christ said, "For some are eunuchs because they were born that way; others were made that way by men; and others have renounced marriage because of the kingdom of heaven. The one who can accept this should accept it."(Matthew 19:12) If you are able to fight off and hold on to your intentions until you can physically go to the monatsery, then you should. DO NOT however sit back, and say "Whatever happens happens, and it's all God's will." Monasticism is like any other desire. If you want it, work for it. Work for it now.

    ReturnOrthodoxy
  • Peter, thank you for your your response.

    You're completely right. Monasticism is more of going from a good life to an easy life. (Rather from escaping from problems).

    So what makes a priest different from a monk? Both give up money. What makes a priest decide he wants to be priest? and what makes a monk decide to be a monk instead of a priest?
  • So what makes a priest different from a monk? Both give up money. What makes a priest decide he wants to be priest? and what makes a monk decide to be a monk instead of a priest?

    Priests give up money? A priest is a normal person. He gets a salary, has a family, can go on vacations, can have sex, and much more. The priest and the monk are very different entities. The monk is a secluded person. The priest serves, and loves to do so. A monk flees from people.

    The confusion you show between monks and priests arouses some questions to me. They are by no means the same. A monk is not interested in being with people but rather directly with God. Priests must renounce some things, but the level of renunciation expected of Monks and Priests are very different in there degree and form. If you read the book by H.G Bishop Mettaos above, you will see the differences between the two consecrations. They are very different.

    Monasticism is more of going from a good life to an easy life

    Please tell me I understood it wrong? Going from a good ilfe to an easy life?? Monasticism is going from an easy life to a good life. Monasticism is anything but easy. It is good, but extremely difficult. The monk sees no "good life" in the world, and so he chooses the hard life in order to attain the "good life." Again, read the book I sourced above.

    ReturnOrthodoxy
  • I meant that he gives up his career. (assuming that he mad more before he was a priest.)

    I do understand the difference between a priest and a monk. Sorry if I worded my question incorrectly.
  • Haha I meant good life to HARD life.. sorry it's been a long day lol
  • [quote author=karneval link=topic=12527.msg147120#msg147120 date=1320478107]
    This is what monasticism is: a longing for God that knows no limits. It is the beginning of the Age to come, of the Kingdom of Heaven still here on earth


    _______________________
    pinguin kostüme


    Nice reply, too bad ur another one of those spam advertisers.
  • [quote author=geomike link=topic=12527.msg147021#msg147021 date=1320287050]
    [quote author=TITL link=topic=12527.msg146985#msg146985 date=1320263909]
    Priesthood is a calling, monasticism is both. 

    When I went to monastery last year, I also became really attached and asked the monks to ordain me on the spot. They told me to finish school first.

    I'm a girl, BTW.

    I don't think there's anything wrong with wanting to give your life for Christ. Most of the saints did it :)

    I do think it's wrong to resort to monasticism as an escape from the pressures in the world or as a loss of hope for marriage.


    You're a girl? Why didn't you tell me, i have replied to you as a guy for so long if go back to some of my posts to you i refer to you as "hey man, he, him" you get my drift. Wow!!! That's all i have to say. Nice to meet the new you by the way, haha.

    On a more serious note (and relating to the topic):
    Yes, the monestary is very relaxing, but it's not because the monestary. It's about th solitude and quite you had. There was no rush hour around you, many people talking about useless things, kids makin noise, that's why you were comfortable. If you have some alone time/ quiet time by yourself like once a month or however you would like, you will be fine. Just make sure to use the alone time to pray the Jesus prayer or some spiritual building activity and not just fall asleep or drift into space.

    I will pray that God gives you His peace that the world can't offer.


    Geomike,

    You're not my friend anymore. True friends can sense simple things---like gender.

    I'll find someone else who will help me with my Shoutbox.

    P.S. I linked it for those who haven't voted "yes" yet  :P
  • Is it possible for someone to be called after marriage and kids?
  • + Irini nem ehmot,

    If one becomes a widow/widower and the children are adults and support themselves, anything is possible.
  • [quote author=binC link=topic=12527.msg147316#msg147316 date=1320939262]
    Is it possible for someone to be called after marriage and kids?


    In the early centuries, it was possible to become a monk after marriage (spouse dies) and kids. Since monasticism is both a choice and a calling, it can be situational. A parent dies, an engagement falls through, etc. There are many different stories of what leads a person to the monastic life.

    Nowadays it is a bit different. It could theoretically happen, but these are special circumstances which the abbot of the monastery must look at and assess.

    +++
  • Let me rephrase my Questions. I am asking if it is possible to be called for monasticism while you are still married to your spouse and still having small kids?
  • + Irini nem ehmot,

    [quote author=binC link=topic=12527.msg147428#msg147428 date=1321114953]
    Let me rephrase my Questions. I am asking if it is possible to be called for monasticism while you are still married to your spouse and still having small kids?


    No.
  • no, but if yr spouse is yelling at u and yr kids are running wild, it's a fairly normal reaction!
    just ask for God to help u learn all u can in the situation and to come closer to Him through accepting the suffering and the joys of life.
    u can be 'monastic' in yr heart while married by being caring and giving to yr spouse and by looking at other people with all purity and love and humility.

  • but in the bible it says " anyone who left his wife and children for God's sake will be rewarded" ?????
  • yeah, like if yr wife and kids were pagans and gave u the chance to re-convert to paganism or be thrown out of the house for being a Christian, then u would be thrown out of the house.
    otherwise 'if the unbelieving husband or wife does not seek a divorce' then the Christian should stay in the relationship.

    u get really closer to God if u persevere through difficult circumstances and don't run away.
    u will even find yourself making tea for the boss who is trying to end yr career (i did!)
    it freaks them out when we return kindness for evil.
    this is what is meant by 'heaping burning coals' on yr enemy's head by being kind.
    maybe they will even repent and turn to God!
  • [quote author=binC link=topic=12527.msg147476#msg147476 date=1321249201]
    but in the bible it says " anyone who left his wife and children for God's sake will be rewarded" ?????


    Marriage is for life.

    +++
  • [quote author=mabsoota link=topic=12527.msg147502#msg147502 date=1321298844]
    yeah, like if yr wife and kids were pagans and gave u the chance to re-convert to paganism or be thrown out of the house for being a Christian, then u would be thrown out of the house.
    otherwise 'if the unbelieving husband or wife does not seek a divorce' then the Christian should stay in the relationship.

    [quote author=✞TheGodChrist✞ link=topic=12527.msg147514#msg147514 date=1321303626]
    Marriage is for life.

    +++

    +Saint John Chrysostom's wisdom on what mabsoota said, and agrees with the answer of ✞TheGodChrist✞:

    "But when He says, “Every one who has forsaken wife,” He doesn't say this, for marriages to be broken apart, but He says this concerning one’s life, “He that loses his life for My sake shall find it,”not that we should destroy ourselves, neither while yet here should we part it from the body, but that we should prefer godliness to all things; this too He says also with respect to the wife and brethren.
    But He seems to me here to intimate also the persecutions. For since there were many instances both of fathers urging their sons to ungodliness, and wives their husbands; when they command these things, He says, let them be neither wives nor parents, even as Paul likewise said, “But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart.”
    -Saint John Chrysostom, Homilies on the Gospel of Saint Matthew
  • Thank you all. I think I understood the verse.
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