guys and giirls

edited December 1969 in Faith Issues
hay guys

i just wanted to ask what on earth is wrong with one boy and one girl the age of 15 to 20 going to a cafe cus when in my church if any one finds out their reaction will be oh my god if abouna finds out leltak sooda i mean what is wrong with it we didnt do anything wrong but no u just commited a really big sin and everyone looks at you as if commited a murder some body please tell me why it is sooo wrong


  • i dont know whats wrong with it ??? ??? ??? ??? ???

    i can relate coz i was sitting talking with this girl in front of the church and every one who walks past would give us dirty looks. we are just sitting their talking it realy got on my nerves. >:( >:( >:( >:(
  • i don't know whats wrong with it either!!! i know my parents would also get REALLYYYYYYYYYYYYY mad but to be honest, i wouldn't blame them that much!! lol i know i'm not good at making decisions and if i did hang out with a guy alone, even if we didn't do anything, i'd get hung up on him and i probably wouldn't do homework and it just wouldn't benefit me. But i think that once i mature a bit and get my priorities straight, that could be a different story. My parents come from a world of basically organized marriage so they wouldn't understand that i'd like to get to know some people. if you're not like 15 and doing the whole hugging "flirty" thing, i don't see why people would give you dirty looks. just ignore that!! talk to your father of confession and see what he thinks.
  • i can't stand when i'm sitting their talking 2 aa boy, and all the older ppl from church sit their and say "tsk, tsk, tsk" i mean, i'm not doing anyithing, just talking. i don't know, evey time i bring up with an adult, they never answer me, they end up switching the subject to marriage or something! my opinon is that there is nothing wrong with girls and boys communictaing with each other. >:(
  • Yea I know exactly what you guys mean! I think all Egyptian families are overprotective of their children. The thing that annoyies me though is they're more overprotective of their girls. My bro can have girls huggin him and my dad will laugh, but God forbid one of my brothers hug me. Let's just say you won't be hearing from me again! Then again I'm a very independent person. I do everything by myself so my parents aren't always there. But I grew up as the kind of person who looks at every guy as a brother. All the church guys are my brothers and nothing more. I can't even look at them like that. A lot of them trust me and are like my bestfriends. They wouldn't think twice of trying something with me. Besides my reputation doesn't really bother me. Although so many people try to convince me to calm down, I'm still who I am. And guys are just my brothers or bestfriends. Nothing more! If I wanted to talk to one I wouldn't think twice. People's opanions don't really bother me. let them talk! God knows whats in my heart and he's the one that decides wether I go to heaven or not! Who cares about the people. As long as you you are doing the right thing! Then you shouldn't care about anybody else!
  • i know wut u mean, my bro always gets stuck working on projects with girls and my parents dont mind, but when i'm stuck working with a boy, my parents end up fliping out! they act as if i choose to work with them! :(
  • Very simple...

    It makes you look low. Especially for girls; People will think you are a garboo3a. Which may or may not be true; more likely to be true... but that’s beside the point. Whether fair or not... they'll think you are saya3. So either deal with the labels that our wonderful Egyptian society has set (no sarcasm intended), because that won’t ever be changing, no matter how much you wish they would. OR be labeled as a garboo3/garboo3a. The choice is yours.
  • Haha, that's correct Mark.
    I think it's inappropriate for our culture and our Religion especially that it will never always be an "innocent" boy/girl will later become more and more complicated and even sinful....I remember once H.G. Bishop Avva Mousa said that rarely or never will it happen that a guy and a girl on a date be talking about God..

  • whats "garboo3a"? am i the only one thats never heard this word? ???
  • i haven't wut is it?
  • Its a not nice word to call somebody that reflects their standards.
  • I think it shoudl be best if your parents already know this boy ro this girl you talk to... why dont you whther your a boy or a girl, why dont you introduce your friends to your parents???? is that such a horrible idea ? lol ;)

    then your parents will definitely trust you and wont mind you hanging out with this boy or girl ...

    i think that works pretty good, well at least for me.


  • oh the only reason your parents think you dont wanna tellthem about your friends is if your doing somehtign wrong.. cuz honestly, if theres nothign wrong with what your doing with your friends, then your parents wont mind.. theyr not THAT closed minded lol

    Goodluck again!

  • My parents are the strictest the only places im alowed to go without them is church and school and if they even heard me talk to a girl or even about a girl ill be dead.

    And then theres my brother he can do what he likes talk to whoever he likes and i just dont get it :'( it like reallty gets to me its like they dont trust me or somefing but the trust my brother
  • Hey you Guys,

    Yea I understand everything you guys are saying. And to tell you the truth really, no matter WHAT age we are, they still continue to worry about us. I mean let's think about it. There is so much in our society today that's so harmful and effective, that they need and must protect us from. Right? So they don't need this extra worry of this guy or girl, that may distract us, or redirect our focus elsewhere. They want us focused on our studies and future.
    Now, now that doesn't give them the right to be so strict or give us those dirties, but thats the REASON why.
    Sure we cop heaps of dirty looks, and tatatats by all the wonderful understanding Egyptian parents, but like someone mentioned above, try to introduce these people to your parents, talk to them, let them know how you feel, but do it in a way which will cause them to stop and think about it. Try it, who knows?

    I understand because I cop the same dirtys and the same looks, and although I honestly consider all the guys at my church my brothers as I have been brought up with them, I can't think of them like that (although they might, that's another story)I still go throught the same thing. But they all know they can't try anything on me, because they know how I am. So when the parents, or our beautiful again, understanding Egyptian community see that, they don't consider it that bad, and you tend to get less of those dirties and looks. That's if they know you.
    GBU all ..thanx
  • im only 19 ::)

    does that make me liek weird to u guys?

    im turning 20 soon but i did and still do go through what your all talkin about..

    but ya 12 or 13 or 14 or 15 is REALLY young to start liking someone...
    basically all you babies out there are beign influenced by our society which is a given.. for example, like this site... maybe you would not have known about liking people and relationships if you never visited this site.. maybe you dont know what sin is.. until you visited this site...

    there is a special saint or someone holy or reconizable in oru church who said somehting liek this..
    he said, that he would not have known what sin was (because he was soo innocent) until someone told him about sin and introduced it and explained it to him)...
    thats what i call being a baby (innocent)

    I dont have much experience but i can tell you that even though society influences you so much, there is also somehtign called maturing.. liek you develop a self identity.. meanign YOU learn stuff on your own... you discover things no one else showed you before.. you discover emotions etc.. i think for me thats the case...

    my point was ... those of you are still 13, 14 , in that range, you guys r way too young to think about likign and relationships.. instead why dont you liek hang aorund in groups.. at church or somehtin instead of a girl standign beside a guy alone talkign and adults assumign stuff...

    to avoid all that, also introduce your friends to your parents... and let your friend's parents be your parents' friends.. if that makes sense lol

    anyways, ive rambled on


  • my parent already know all of my friends, it's just i don't see y they're so stict about me talking to a boy (in a group of ppl) when my brother on the other hand, talks to girls all the time right in front of my parents, and they don't care one bit!
  • [move]First of all i want to say Hi Maz:)[/move]

    anyways i recon we are 2 young to start having relationships but is having a chat with someone starting a relationship.......

    ill leave it up to youz to answer that question

    God Bless Youz all
  • if u have strong feelings for that person and ur only talking to them because ur hoping u can start a relationship with them, then it's wrong, if ur talking because your friends, then it's probably not.
  • hay guys

    i would like to say something my parents know all my freands guys and girls and so do most of the people at my church but if i am seen with anyone (a girl) everybody will flip even if we are in a group someone give me advice because i am going crazy :-X >:( ???
  • we are so alike

    but sorry i cant give you advice coz i need advice my self so anyone out there in cyber space please help us :-[ :-[ :-[ :-[
  • i really don't see anything wrong, especially if they're in thier 20's/ 15, i can see why they would go crazy, but a little coffie isn't that much of a big deal to me.
  • hey guys
    i agree w/ mark and mike..
    egys are just old fashioned people.. our society won't change for us.. so either u change for it or just be called a 'garboo3a" (haha..thought that was funny)
    and 'cmooonnnn... if its ONLY you and a guy sitting there talking, laughing.. people notice things... you know there is some kind of attraction there....

    i can somewhat relate becuase my dad isn't crazy about me talking to boys, BBUT, my mom is ok with it... she is ok with it because i tell her everything... the good and the bad... and you know what, she doesnt yell at me and punish me because she knows if she does, i won't tell her anything... some of you girls should try getting a little closer to your moms.. it may help you to see their point of view or they might see yours...

  • arite unconditional love.... here we go.. feelings arent introduced and im telling u from experience.. ive liked the same guy for the past 4 years and im 13 now.. so since i was 11... summer of 5th into 6th grade... yea. thats aobut right... it was only a crush then but as we got to be clsoer firneds my feelings developed more and im exactly like marmar on this one.. its not like or love.. i dont know wat it is right totally confused about everything.. and for the rest of you.. i agree wiht all your points and i totally get where ur coming from- my parents r beyondd stict.. i beg to go out with friends form church-GIRLS... and the only place i am allowed to go ALONe is church n school.. it sucks.. all of it..
  • hey

    reality tells us... meanign logic tells us if you ve liked him since like 11 yrs old, :o then it's a crush.. u people know what likign is at 11? wow :o
  • im not judgin you or neone here.. im just saying ur not mature enough to know what love or liking is... im not even mature enough to know that and im like way older than you (19 turnign 20 soon)

    i dont think u should think about this now.. because its way too soon to tell...
    why cant you and this guy just be friends..y do u want to be lovers that badly? or y more specific why do u want to label ur relationship as liking or loving.. why cant u accept that your his sister and hes your brother in Christ for now in this moment.. instead of driving ur self nuts and confused and all that talk...

    i mean... u should at least calm yourself and think of yourself.. and your own future and how all this thinking affects you, your moods, and your actions..these r all important

    ive talked alot


  • why cant you and this guy just be friends..y do u want to be lovers that badly? or y more specific why do u want to label ur relationship as liking or loving.. why cant u accept that your his sister and hes your brother in Christ for now in this moment.. instead of driving ur self nuts and confused and all that talk...

    i never said we wanted to be lovers... he doesnt even know i like him.. he is my brother in christ and i dont choose to look at him or feel aobut him the way i do.. i hate it and if there was any quick solution id go with it... its feelings.. u dont create them or take them away.. they just develop... im sorry if i didnt make myself clear before but please dont criticize me for something that i beleive is out of my control...
  • no no i dont mean to criticize..
    but i see your point.. feelings r out of your control ..i agree..
    then just pray about it.. in the perfect time, you will know what to do.. thats why God works in mysterious ways.. He's awesome this way ;)


    pray for me
  • yes i know .. wow everyone in our community loves to repeat things.. but anyway .. thanks
    pray for me and god bless :-*
  • a) you watch much too much TV
    b) stop listening to usher, that’s not helping
    c) a song with “boo” in the title isn’t a place you should be getting information about life
    d) In your case, crawling in a hole until the age of 30 seems like a wise decision…

    You’re living in a dream world…
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