Friends and Feelings... Do They Mix?

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  • You're absolutely right, but not everyone puts themselves up for that, as in my case...

    sleepy
  • i luv ya 4evr & evr sleepy! :-*
  • Ditto queeny, ditto!!
    :) ;) :D ;D :-*

    sleepy
  • well, enough of that dramtic moment lol, on we move...
  • Alright, let's go....lol

    sleepy
  • sleepy, i agree with what mina said before... talk to ur friend
    i mean if u guys are that close of friends, that u can talk about anything, any problem in ur life, no matter how big or small... y not talk about ur 'relationship'
    i mean, chances are if he considers u this good a friend... he doesnt like u in that way anymore.... he's looked beyond his 'desire' for u and has seen u as a person he treats as a sister, no longer a 'lover' so move on, and forget the past
    its not that easy, but it is possible
  • Personally, I agree with you, it's just that some others have put a trickle of a doubt in me about everything, and have left me speechless, so I'm still having a go about what I could possibly do....

    sleepy
    P.S. Pray for me guys, I could really use it...
  • and what... 'in ur hearts of hearts' (as u'd say) do u believe is right? forget about that trickle of a doubt...

    how can u b left speechless? u alwayz have something to say in this forum! lol jp
  • lol, yea, that's true. I believe in my heart of hearts that he's over it, but there's only so much that you may believe before you know the truth. He's been in egypt for awhile now...God knows what's up...

    sleepy
  • talk it over......its the only way ull know for sure.....
  • Pray for me guys, it really would be great...lol


    sleepy
  • well ok......it mainly depends on ur age...adolescence is an age where you are very vulnerable and no matter what some sort of attraction will develop...eg. i have boys that have been in my class for 8 years of my skool life right and when i hit the age of 13-15 began to have feeling for some of these boys that i have grown to know as brothers ...so there u have it!!

  • but that doesnt always happen... it depends on the person and their resistance level...
  • but thats the point...there shouldnt be a resistance level at all....remember u treat him as ur bro or sister!! ;) ;) ;)

    christ4life ;D



    tadpole
    marina
  • This may b a lil off topic...but i was just wondering what you guys thought about this:

    One of my Sunday school teachers (shes a taunt by the way) told me this: "Every relationship you have (emotional or physical) prior to marriage is at the expense of your marriage" ....meaning relationships that u have when u r younger can take away from having a healthy marriage in the future....
  • but the word relationship can refer to many things.... do you mean like friendships, or dating relationships....
  • hey.. ok i didnt reay anyone'sresponce.. i just read da 1st thing.. i think its possible to be very close friends wit someone from da opposite sex witout developing feelings for them.. im just talkin from expreaence..

    C.A.P.
  • [quote author=why link=board=1;threadid=410;start=210#msg41255 date=1130492345]
    but thats the point...there shouldnt be a resistance level at all....remember u treat him as ur bro or sister!! ;) ;) ;)

    christ4life ;D



    tadpole
    marina


    lol, well, you said that no matter what some kind of attraction will develop... but by resistance level i meant the level they can go up to to love that person as a brother or sister...
  • [quote author=Christ4Life link=board=1;threadid=410;start=225#msg41274 date=1130549986]
    [quote author=why link=board=1;threadid=410;start=210#msg41255 date=1130492345]
    but thats the point...there shouldnt be a resistance level at all....remember u treat him as ur bro or sister!! ;) ;) ;)

    christ4life ;D



    tadpole
    marina


    lol, well, you said that no matter what some kind of attraction will develop... but by resistance level i meant the level they can go up to to love that person as a brother or sister...


    lol, ok then u have a point!! ;D
    sorry bout b4

    n marriane about:
    One of my Sunday school teachers (shes a taunt by the way) told me this: "Every relationship you have (emotional or physical) prior to marriage is at the expense of your marriage" ....meaning relationships that u have when u r younger can take away from having a healthy marriage in the future....


    i dont think that it is a fact i think she is just saying that not having relationships will help ur marriage but not kill it...because whateva happens you will be comparing ur husband to the person u dated before...eg. when u hold his hand or kiss him u might say ...oh i dont really want to kiss him becasue he is not as good of a kisser as boyx or boyz... ;) ;D
  • exactly, shes saying you shouldnt have any1 to compare them to, but if ur brothers/sisters with someone, its the same as being friends with someone of your own gender...
  • [quote author=Maryann23_©oP† link=board=1;threadid=410;start=225#msg41259 date=1130508197]
    This may b a lil off topic...but i was just wondering what you guys thought about this:

    One of my Sunday school teachers (shes a taunt by the way) told me this: "Every relationship you have (emotional or physical) prior to marriage is at the expense of your marriage" ....meaning relationships that u have when u r younger can take away from having a healthy marriage in the future....


    Hey,
    I think this is true, coz of what my Abouna told us once to our (all girls) Sunday School Class ... a long time ago... he said that the more relationships you have with guys you give them your love and then you eventually break up (lol) and then you get with another guy and you give him also your love.... and so on....
    (when i mean love i mean Feelings)
    and then that means when its time to get married .... you have somehow "run" out of love to give.... and that it has become normal to have on and off relationships... whereas if you have not had any relationships untill your marriage... you have something Full and New to give your husband....

    GBU i hope zat helbed...
  • Sleepy: i think the best thing for u to do right now is to tell your friend everything.
    and just to share, this is a relevant example:
    my best friend now is a girl, but in the begining of our relationship i developed feelings for her. this tormented me because i had to refrain from telling her because we were so close. interestingly enough, she was the only one i really felt comfortable talking to. eventually i decided to tell her, or rather she bullied it out of me lol, and after the ackward phase i can now say that i love her as a sister, a rather close one at that. that is not to say i have NO feelings for her BUT through the power of my LORD, i was able to look past that to see her for who she is, not wat i wanted to see. whatever that goes to prove i dont know and i dont think it matters lol the important thing is that these things, once overcome, provide very meaningful, lasting relationships.
  • [quote author=Mikhail™ link=board=10;threadid=410;start=225#msg41312 date=1130629969]
    [quote author=Maryann23_©oP† link=board=1;threadid=410;start=225#msg41259 date=1130508197]
    This may b a lil off topic...but i was just wondering what you guys thought about this:

    One of my Sunday school teachers (shes a taunt by the way) told me this: "Every relationship you have (emotional or physical) prior to marriage is at the expense of your marriage" ....meaning relationships that u have when u r younger can take away from having a healthy marriage in the future....


    Hey,
    I think this is true, coz of what my Abouna told us once to our (all girls) Sunday School Class ... a long time ago... he said that the more relationships you have with guys you give them your love and then you eventually break up (lol) and then you get with another guy and you give him also your love.... and so on....
    (when i mean love i mean Feelings)
    and then that means when its time to get married .... you have somehow "run" out of love to give.... and that it has become normal to have on and off relationships... whereas if you have not had any relationships untill your marriage... you have something Full and New to give your husband....

    GBU i hope zat helbed...


    Mikhail what abouna is talking about is dating or having a relationship for the sake of saying ya i have a bf/gf and you said it was a long time ago so the age play a role in there too but if you get to an age and point of life where you are dating or having a relationship for the ONLY reason of finding a future husband or wife things are not completely black and white at that point of time
    and if you want to see what older memebers think about dating/relationships check out this thread (you might want to skip ahead in the thread below its only 19 pages)
    http://tasbeha.org/content/community/index.php?board=1;action=display;threadid=22
  • You asked; is it possible for a friend to have an “attraction” to his other friend.
    I don’t know too much on the subject so ill take on this answer is the most literal way possible.

    Every two objects have a gravitational attraction.
    The Force of gravity between them (Fg) is equal to the
    Gravitational Constant (6.67 x 10-11 Nm2/s2) times the mass of the first friend times the mass of the second friend. All of this is divided by the square of the distance between them.

    Fg = force of gravity
    Gravity constant = (6.67 x 10-11 Nm2/s2)
    Mass of Friend “A” = m[sub]A[/sub]
    Mass of Friend “B” = m[sub]B[/sub]

    r = distance/displacement between the two friends.


    Fg = (6.67 x 10-11 Nm2/s2) x (m[sub]A[/sub]) x (m[sub]B[/sub])
    r2

    Therefore, the force of attraction of gravity is present by the consideration of Newton’s laws.
  • lol, perhaps they mean another type of attraction aside from the ones described by 3amo newton 8)
  • oh wow, StVictor, that was amazingly confusing...

    lol do not take it in a literal way...
  • Not complicated at all.

    He's using Newtons Laws. :P

    But we all know Newton just took Galileos Inertia Law and transformed it into Newtons Law 1.

    So technically, its Galileos law! :P
  • i hate to be a party pooper but lets come back from physics to the main topic here thanks
  • In the end...will this friendship serve to bring you up in your relationship with God...this is the criterion we should weigh everything against...


    Let's be frank...most of the time, Satan uses this relationship (friendship) against us, even if it takes years...people out there...I'm not saying you guys are wrong...but take your extreme guard....

    There's a concept of Christianity that we all must learn...."Ihrab lee 7ayatak" or literally "Run for your life." From what, you may ask?

    From anything that is not essential AND that may be a stumbling block, or has a high probability (each one of us knows himslef/herself anyways)....I think this topic falls into high probability...

    So I think....a FRIEND is one who you give ur secrets too...and vice-versa....a friend is someone who will lead you to the Lord through His church...like David and Jonathan in the Old Testament...can this be applicable to a boy and a girl? Well, let's face it...in the teen years...the psycology of the boy and girl differ greatly...each one of them has a different way of thinking...besides, in these years, no one really is grown up yet...


    I'm not saying you guys are kids....I'm saying concentrate on your eternity for now....and wait up until the LORD gives you what HE knows is best.....but please stop thinking about these respectively minor issues, and concentrate on the big picture, ok?




    In HIS Name,



    RFZ
  • Well...what if he/she really does bring you closer to God...it's not like that could never happen...is that still wrong...and I mean he/she is the ONLY people who can get you cloer to God...then there is nothing wrong with this...or is there?
    Dating million guys or not dating at all isn't the issue...because God brings the right person at the right time anyway...whether you choose to find that someone (with God's help of course) or whether you just rely on God..and wait for that person to come knocking on you door....it's you choice....but there is nothing wrong with love if it's pure love....if you are planning to love that person for the sake of marriage....if it's otherwise then just forget about it...it won't be worth it...but there is nothing just as "running out" of love...God doesn't run out of love for us...so how is it even possible that we think that we can run out of love to other people.
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