So I'm in the process of finishing my pre-requisites for pharmacy school, and I want to get in BADLY. I feel like this great desire is starting to become a sin. It's literally always on my mind, and it makes me very anxious/eager at times. I'm burning with motivation.
As you all know, Egyptians have that mindset that their child has to be the best in everything, but I'm starting to think that it's not really the Christian way. I even talked to my priest today, and he said he will not ordain me subdeacon until I get accepted into a pharmacy school (don't think he was joking). Sometimes I feel like he and my parents care way too much about my worldly success, and not enough of about what's most important. Everytime I go to study, I tell myself that I'm doing for God, and to glorify His name, but is that true?
My question is: How do I keep that balance of motivation to succeed, while keeping in mind that we can die any second? In the end, is it truly worth all the stress and anxiety? How do I keep that fire in my heart for God while still succeeding?