How can I stop someone from being jealous of me? PLEASE HELP!! I need advice !!!

FRA
edited November 2008 in Personal Issues
I was very close to my cousin and then she started getting jealous of me ever since i got accepted to medical school and she was rejected (in the USA). Although she'll still be going to medical school but in the Caribbeans instead in the US. I'll be going in the US. She ignores me when i talk to her. She makes fun of me all the time to bring me down. I never never brag about my abilities..i'm very humble..I even apologized to her without any reason. I treat her with so much love and try to act normal, but i can't take it anymore!! I thought being so nice to her would solve the problem but it didn't help. The problem is that she's not a friend that i can just stay away from or just say hi and leave, but she's my own cousin and i see her everyday!! How can i stop her jealousy?? PLEASE HELP!!

Comments

  • You personally cannot do anything, as long as you aren't bragging and showing off then you are doing your best already. Just pray and ask God to take these jealous feelings away from her, just be normal, and try to avoid her and not spend as much time as before.  I know this isn't much advice but the only thing you can do is just be yourself, make sure to be careful and not say anything that would come off as bragging and just ask God to help you through this and help take away that feeling from her.

    God Bless and Pray for me and my weakness
  • speak to her about it without criticising her..tell her that God has made for her her very own path in which she will get closer to Him if she is willing. not one person's path is the exact same. tell her that it doesn't matter where she is studying because in the end if she wants to serve God through what she is studying, she will succeed.
    i know we have a culture (not religion) that bases image/status, thus it is the praise of men. however, the praise or even insults of men should not allow us to be happy nor to be upset.
    “If you find something good in you, be certainly sure that it is not due to you, but due to God because He alone is ultimately good, perfect and holy as the Lord says: ‘No one is good but One, that is, God.’ (Matthew 19:17)” Again, if you think that it is you who strive to inherit the eternal life, you will fail..." -this quote is from His Holiness Pope Shenouda III (Book: The Release Of The Spirit. Pg 47 and 54) http://www.copticpope.org/books/relspirt.pdf
    please make all your needs be known to God in prayer and He will deal with it. Just leave it with Him and He will surely take care of it. The Lord says: "Come to Me all you who labour, and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light." (Matthew 11:27-30)
  • Hi, I've read the last two posts which had brilliant advice in them, I won't add much, but I would like to stress that praying for her can really do miracles (literally). There is nothing that prayer cannot acheive... Jealousy is a terrible feeling, it can consume a person's mind and soul and bring them to deeper problems, if talking to her does not work, then you can keep it at prayers, and the kind and merciful Lord will do what's best..

    God Bless
    Please pray for me
  • [quote author=FRA link=topic=7371.msg97634#msg97634 date=1227753277]
    I was very close to my cousin and then she started getting jealous of me ever since i got accepted to medical school and she was rejected (in the USA). Although she'll still be going to medical school but in the Caribbeans instead in the US. I'll be going in the US. She ignores me when i talk to her. She makes fun of me all the time to bring me down. I never never brag about my abilities..i'm very humble..I even apologized to her without any reason. I treat her with so much love and try to act normal, but i can't take it anymore!! I thought being so nice to her would solve the problem but it didn't help. The problem is that she's not a friend that i can just stay away from or just say hi and leave, but she's my own cousin and i see her everyday!! How can i stop her jealousy?? PLEASE HELP!!


    If i were you, I'd tell her that she will at least pick up a carribbean accent and be drinking coconut juice - so she should be thankful for that whilst she's studying medicine in the Carribean.

    Tell her that "she'll be doo-in say'll-boatin' and parra-say-llin" whilst poor you, you'll be stuck in the USA.
  • all you can do is pray... Ask her to look on the bright side of everything
  • You need to make her feel that she's the one getting the good deal!!!

    And here's how:

    Tell her that Caribbean countries are so violent and have higher crime rates than the USA that she's bound to get better training in dealing with gunshot wounds, rape, drug additions, violent attacks and beheadings.

    That's brilliant experience for a trainee doctor!!!

    And don't forget to mention the sail boating and para-sailing.

    Randomely mention to her also the following words:

    Rum. beach. coconut juice, sun, Bob Marley, Beach boys, taquilla, bacardi with coke, Rum with coke, coconut juice, pina colada, reggae....

  • I don't think that all of the drinks are a good way to look at this... ;D ;D
  • [quote author=coptmorous link=topic=7371.msg97706#msg97706 date=1227925575]
    I don't think that all of the drinks are a good way to look at this... ;D ;D


    Dude, the caribbean is so dangerous. It has very high crime rates.

    I really hope she enjoys pina colada and reggae music because the country is extremely dangerous.

  • + it's not wrong to have a drink once in a while (while of course knowing your limit) is it?


    God Bless
  • [quote author=godislove260 link=topic=7371.msg97711#msg97711 date=1227963137]
    + it's not wrong to have a drink once in a while (while of course knowing your limit) is it?


    God Bless

    It's not wrong, but just not reccommended. Drinking could lead to the sin of gluttony. Some people drink a little for mediacl reasons and such. It just depends on your situation.
  • i tried to read most of the comments but i think u might talk to her
    tell her if anything is getting her mad at you
    i always try that. sometime it helps
  • hi, back to the original topic  ;) it's really hard when you have to see someone regularly who dislikes you. I have had jobs where my boss hated me but i had to see him every day for 6 months!
    this kind of suffering really does make us closer to Jesus, as long as we accept it and ask Him to guide us and teach us His ways. during my last job, one night i was alone in my room crying and feeling sorry for myself, then i remembered the prayer of our Lord 'YOUR will be done on earth as in heaven' and I repeated Jesus' words (Luke 22:42) 'not my will but your be done' I had prayed this before, but this time i was really ready to accept even more suffering even though i thought i couldn't deal with it.
    at that exact moment i was aware of this amazing peace (John 14:27) and then i realised that our sufferings are much less than the glory that awaits us in heaven.
    another favourite verse of mine during this time was John 16:33, the verse that Anba Boula, the first hermit used to repeat ' in this world you will have trouble, but take courage, for I have overcome the world.' Since then I have courage and peace, and this is worth more to me than an easy job.
    so I hope God will change your situation quickly, but if not, you will grow in your faith during your difficult time.
    May God give you peace and may He also give peace to all of us who struggle  :)
  • [quote author=St. Monica link=topic=7371.msg97716#msg97716 date=1227979221]
    i tried to read most of the comments but i think u might talk to her
    tell her if anything is getting her mad at you
    i always try that. sometime it helps


    Tell her that she should be thankful to God that you are not going to the caribbean given how dangerous it is. One person is enough. But at the same time, you should tell her that you love her and wish her the best, and that you hope she has a great time and comes back safely.


  • Pray for her but in the meantime just avoid her i guess.  God bless you! and Good luck.  btw.. i dont mean like ignore her but i mean just maybe go distant so that she doesnt make u angry and cause you to sin.

    +mahraeel+
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