girl thing :- /

edited December 1969 in Random Issues
ok well, is having crushes a sin. and WHY DO GIRLS (boys too) around this age get so many crush is iit like a physological thing or somthing ( i prally spelled that wronge) well thanx
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  • WOW we have had this discussion many times i will try to find you the thread.

    GBU
    PK
  • around the ages of 13-15, it is common to experience these 'crushes', however, it is not a good idea to follow these crushes. By this I mean, it's fine to like a guy (it is of human nature to have these sorts of feelings), but to go out on date or go out with this so called crush is not a good idea. And here is why:

    At this age, your still learning and still trying to mature and all your feelings based towards your crushes are purely physical attractions, so it is not a good idea to get involved into anything as it may lead to serious consequences, and why place yourself in a situation like that in the first place?

    I recommend that you discuss this with your father of confession, and yes, it may be hard to be this open, but trust me it's the only way you can form a bond with your father of confession. I assure you he will give you ample adivce on how to cope with these feelings.

    In the meantime, i recommend you pray, and pray hard to the Lord to give you guidance and protect you. After all, this is the devil playing with your mind. If he finds any opportunity to make you fall, and fall hard, it's nothing better than playing with your emotions.

    Well I hope I helped,
    Keep me in your prayers,
    God Bless

    Mazza
  • on that regards...may i add as we learnt this in sunday school last week...

    that who ever looks to someone with lust assurely i say to you that he has already commited adultry in his heart...

    so thinking about them in a "bad" way...

    Assurely i say to you that you have commited the sin of ADULTRY!!
  • I know, how scary is that because you always assume that you never brake the commandments, and when you think of the word 'adultry' you think of this horrible sin, but nevertheless, looking at someone or thinking about someone in a sinful way is truly adultry.
  • Yes, what strikes me is that God uses the term adultry where ADULTRY emplies for Ssinful relationships with another person WHEN U R MARIED
  • Sorry to intrude but I'm just curious why most people think that a crush has some physical end to it? Can a crush be purely emotional, and if not, what is an emotional equivalent of a "Crush"?
  • i personally believe that a crush is rarely 'purely emotional'- there is more often than not, a physical element associated with it
  • This is how I see it, a crush is a feeling you have for someone, a feeling is an emotion, thus crushes are emotionally based, and not just physical
  • Excuse me, but i'd like to go back a couple posts. If i looked at someone with lust, or thought about the person in a bad way, i've committed adultry?
  • That is what the Holy Gospel says.
  • [quote author=PopeKyrillos link=board=11;threadid=4087;start=0#msg57183 date=1151946267]
    Excuse me, but i'd like to go back a couple posts. If i looked at someone with lust, or thought about the person in a bad way, i've committed adultry?


    In the spiritual sense, yes. It doesn't mean looking at someone with lust is as bad as stealing another man's wife, but its still a different form of the same sin.
  • WOW i bever knew that. so in a way a crush on someone would be considered adultry right? ???
  • but wait, thats not fair, i can't control how i feel. It just happens. idk
  • no, it's fine to have feelings, but to think bad thoughts or look at someone in a sinful manner, that's considered adultry.

    Hope I clarified some things
  • for some reason i am shocked that no one listed the word "Love".

    first a crush is mostly based on looks and a lot of other outer stuff that everyone sees. a crush is not love, lust, or adultry. and it's not based on emotions either. because if it is it's considered love. a crush is not considered a sin but if really there, father of confession would be the best person to listen and advice. also crush should be treated early cauz that crush that is for 13 or 14 -y-o kids would may be turn in to the sinful thought that everyone is talking about in the posts before.
  • a crush is not love, lust, or adultry. and it's not based on emotions either.

    so if it's not those three, then what is it?
  • well it's a kind of feeling that you get when yoiu see someone who did somthing good for you, who is very nice to you, who would make you special. it's like love but it's not cuz kids don't know that kind of love yet. at least most of them don't.
  • [quote author=itsalwaysmee link=board=11;threadid=4087;start=0#msg57197 date=1151959191]
    but wait, thats not fair, i can't control how i feel. It just happens. idk


    everyone think but having desire...then temptation..then SIN...but stoping it at DESIRE and stop yourself from getting TEMPTED..then that is FINE!!

    btw..love is an emotional feeling where i have respect and attachment to a certain being...

    i say ATTACHEMNT because if i had not known the person WELL..then that falls into the term INFATUATION...thats the way i see it ;)
  • [quote author=minagir link=board=11;threadid=4087;start=15#msg57211 date=1151978579]
    well it's a kind of feeling that you get when yoiu see someone who did somthing good for you, who is very nice to you, who would make you special. it's like love but it's not cuz kids don't know that kind of love yet. at least most of them don't.


    I diasgree with you here, I personally know, from various sources that people who have these crushes barely know who they are. So how can you say that 'it was somone who did something nice for them'? Remember, these are petty issues. These type of crushes are purely based on lust and physical attraction.

    Mina, what your thinking of is something of a more deeper level and I would not categorise that as a crush. It's something much more than that, something you experience when your older and at a more mature understanding of the meaning of love, as you said before.

    Forgive me, I'm just expressing me opinion. Please don't get angry.

    God Bless,
    Mazza
  • [quote author=mazza link=board=11;threadid=4087;start=15#msg57215 date=1151982907]
    [quote author=minagir link=board=11;threadid=4087;start=15#msg57211 date=1151978579]
    well it's a kind of feeling that you get when yoiu see someone who did somthing good for you, who is very nice to you, who would make you special. it's like love but it's not cuz kids don't know that kind of love yet. at least most of them don't.


    I diasgree with you here, I personally know, from various sources that people who have these crushes barely know who they are. So how can you say that 'it was somone who did something nice for them'? Remember, these are petty issues. These type of crushes are purely based on lust and physical attraction.

    Mina, what your thinking of is something of a more deeper level and I would not categorise that as a crush. It's something much more than that, something you experience when your older and at a more mature understanding of the meaning of love, as you said before.

    Forgive me, I'm just expressing me opinion. Please don't get angry.


    dont't worry, i wont get mad. so that brings me to my first point:

    a crush is mostly based on looks and a lot of other outer stuff that everyone sees.


    so to solve all of that, the person would need to know the whole concept of likeing somone on the outside looks or creating a "crush". also that person would more likly to learn may be from there FOC or his spiritual freind.
  • a crush is mostly based on looks and a lot of other outer stuff that everyone sees.

    not nessassarily.... you see my friend (seriously its my friend) had a crush on this guy and i'm not saying that hes ugly becuz no ones ugly, everyone is an image of God, but he wasn't all that good looking. So i ask my friend why she likes him and she said becuz he acctually talks to her and notices her.
  • [quote author=itsalwaysmee link=board=11;threadid=4087;start=15#msg57441 date=1152417562]

    a crush is mostly based on looks and a lot of other outer stuff that everyone sees.

    not nessassarily.... you see my friend (seriously its my friend) had a crush on this guy and i'm not saying that hes ugly becuz no ones ugly, everyone is an image of God, but he wasn't all that good looking. So i ask my friend why she likes him and she said becuz he acctually talks to her and notices her.



    so that brings me to what i said in my second reply, which was:
    [quote author=minagir link=board=11;threadid=4087;start=15#msg57211 date=1151978579]
    well it's a kind of feeling that you get when yoiu see someone who did somthing good for you, who is very nice to you, who would make you special. it's like love but it's not cuz kids don't know that kind of love yet. at least most of them don't.
    "

    beacuse you have just said:
    [quote author=itsalwaysmee link=board=11;threadid=4087;start=15#msg57441 date=1152417562]
    So i ask my friend why she likes him and she said becuz he acctually talks to her and notices her.
  • [quote author=mazza link=board=11;threadid=4087;start=0#msg57163 date=1151914389]
    are purely physical attractions


    Mazza


    What if that's not true, personally I don't care what someone looks like I'm looking for someone I can talk to and be comfortable with telling them anything.
  • Okay, time for my story, I have a "crush" on this girl. I didn't get that "crush" from physical attractions, it was mainly from her personality. So basically personality came first and then the physical thing was just something extra. So not all cases are based ENTIRELY on how a person looks.
  • Personally, I believe that as long as you don't act on that crush of yours, you haven't done anything wrong yet, however, I heard in a sermon before that the reason the thoughts are wrong are because they are baby sins. When acted upon, they grow into something larger. That's why you need to "get rid of the roots" before it grows into a large tree.

    Sleepy
  • I heard in a sermon before that the reason the thoughts are wrong are because they are baby sins. When acted upon, they grow into something larger. That's why you need to "get rid of the roots" before it grows into a large tree.

    A verse I feel that summarises this beautifully [If I am reading what you are trying to say correctly] is James 1:15

    Then, when desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, brings forth death.

    NKJV
  • Yes, you understood me perfectly.

    Sleepy
  • hey..i think the answer to every dating question or anything related to this topic could be found in this book :"I Kissed Dating goodbye"by joshua Harris.....its realli great and i think you should read it now .... the sooner the better.. it may possibly prevent you from doing any relationship mistakesfor the time being... it speaks about stories of how teens tried out relatioships and how it always fails at a young age, the right thing at the wrong time is the wrong thing... the also points out a very good point that until God finds teh right person for you, you should be devoted to your church serving and focusing on your life now, so that you can gain experiencefor marriage, well ne ways the book puts it in betetr words than i do so read it !! bye
  • That book is good. I've read it and lent it to some of my friends. Also, there is a second book out by the same author that deals with the issue of courting someone that you plan to marry in the proper way.

    Sleepy
  • yea its realli a great book i havent read the second one but i'll read that wen im ready i guess.. good luck with everything <33+<33
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