DONT DATE

whywhy
edited December 1969 in Personal Issues
hey guys..

i was trying to convice a friend of mine not to date...

what ideas do u guys have..and verses from the bible do u guys have regarding this topic..

casue im running out of ideas..


thanks heaps...at the age f about 16..

and they are just lightly dating..movies..kissing..holding hand...nufen TOOOO bad..but please help me out with advice...ideas..lectures...verses..test..wateva u can find..AND PLESAE MAKE IT 21st CENTURY LIKE!!
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Comments

  • Hi

    I Kissed dating goodbye - Josh Harris

    Thats a great book that covers everything about the topic in a Christian perspective and also gives reasoning and insight.
    Heres a summary

    http://www.joshharris.com/ikdg/summary.htm
  • that was a great site...but it was talking more about SEX and finding a life partner..

    i just want..small dating schemes..

  • Of course the bible will not contain verses for every specific sin. Especially dating since boyfriend-girlfriend kind of relations were illegeal until a few hundred years ago.

    Therefore the way we can answer htese types of issues including dancing etc. is by the verse

    All things are lawful for me, but all things are not helpful. All things are lawful for me, but I will not be brought under the power of any. 1 Cor 6:12.

    Therefore those things that enslave me or are not helpful I should not do. That includes most of the issues we come across today.

    Pray for me the sinner
  • Here is an extract from the summary about dating. If you discuss these things with youth, you may find it is not hard to convince them that most of these points are true since they will start comparing them to their own experiences and ones of their friends.

    dating
    (1) leads to intimacy but not necessarily to commitment;
    (2) tends to skip the "friendship" stage of a relationship;
    (3) often mistakes a physical relationship for love;
    (4) often isolates a couple from other vital relationships;
    (5) in many cases, distracts young adults from their primary responsibility of preparing for the future;
    (6) can cause discontentment with God's gift of singleness; and
    (7) creates an artificial environment for evaluating another person's character.

    You can explain how these points will effect ones relationship with God, but there will be no direct reference to dating in the bible for the reason that it did not exist at the time.

    God bless
  • "But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for God's holy people." -Ephesians 5:3

    This verse says that there shouldn't be even a hint of any kind of impurity. So, although you say it's just "lightly dating" and "nothing too bad", the Bible says that even these are improper for God's holy people.

    Also, I would like to share something that I always think about when it comes to dating at such a young age. Relationships at such a young age could ruin a better relationship in the future. When you get into a relationship right now, you are not very mature about how to handle it, and so it's very possible that these two people will break up. But now, there's no way these two are going to get back together in the future and marry each other if one or the other wanted to because it would be awkward. If you wait until an older age and have that relationship, then you will be mature enough to keep the relationship and possibly turn it into marriage.

    God Bless.
  • cool..guys that is a start...

    u know what..i was talken to abouna..and he sorta said that dating wasnt WRONG per`say...
  • Ok this might be long so bear with me... I'm trying to bring a sunday school lesson and a youth meeting on this together...

    Every one of us is engaged to Christ (through baptism). By having a boyfriend means you rely on a boy for emotions and ect.. This means that simply, you are cheating on God. Now what is supposed to happen to two people who are engaged (her and God)? They are supposed to marry (judgement day). Yet however if God comes on Judgement Day and finds that one of us have cheated him from his love, for our God is a jealous God, I doubt He will say, "Enter into the joy of your master". But relying on a guy for emotions and so on, you are not fully giving God your heart, but rather part of it. And if a girl is engaged but loves two guys, do you think the one she is engaged to will marry her? I doubt it, especially if already died for her. There is only one chance to show God we can truly stay faithful to him. Let us not take it lightly, for for every time we show love to something else he cries for our souls that will perish in death.
  • [quote author=doit4Jesus link=board=10;threadid=3976;start=0#msg55866 date=1149411416]
    Hi

    I Kissed dating goodbye - Josh Harris

    Thats a great book that covers everything about the topic in a Christian perspective and also gives reasoning and insight.
    Heres a summary

    http://www.joshharris.com/ikdg/summary.htm


    I would not recommend this book because it just scratches the surface without really giving a deep meaning for sex within marriage and its purity, or the purity of the christian life in general that is the basis for a pure thought. Unless one can build this basis in his life, all the struggle against sin, of any nature, will be just a firefighting position.
  • hi why,
    I dont believe in dating simply because at the age of 16 it leads nowhere but into sin. dating itself is not wrong.

    but then again think about it, at the age age of 16 you are not emotionally mature enough to make a life changing decision of who you will spend your life with. at the age of 16 you are still developing and building your personality. by the time you are at an age that you can think about marriage, you will change your mind about what kind of person you want to be with. for example, did you ever have a crush on someone and then look at them the next day and think, 'what was i thinking ?' thats exactly what happens.. you change your mind.

    the chance of a lasting relationship at this age is also very slim. because you are immature you will make mistakes and eventually get hurt. which is another disadvantage.

    you will dedicate so much time towards your partner that you may shut God out of your life..

    ii can go on forever, but im in class and the lesson just ended.. may be i'll continue this later.

    +God Bless
  • lol hizz_chiilld...I fully understand where you are coming from and agree with you all the way..

    but my problem here is...


    they know they dont want to get married to these certain guys...and really dont care if they are mature or not...they want a boyfriend ..and that is all...


    help!!...
  • Hey Why

    Once an individual especially in there teenage years decides that it is fundamental to have a boyfriend/girlfriend to be part of society, it is impossible to change their philosophy, because they have aquired this thought from many sources.

    Lets be honest its not as if you wake up one morning and say i want a boyfriend/girlfriend, as humans we often take time to think about it, while we examine our morals the advantages and disadvantages with such a life changing decision.

    Therfore all you can do for your friend is to be there for her while at the same time pleading with Christ to lead her path, for with God nothing is impossible.

    I know this is tough, but im afraid this is reality, just pray for her, put her name on the altar and God will do the rest.
  • First one needs to ask themselves, "What is the purpose of Dating? Or what is my purpose for Dating?" The most used answer to this question to this question is "To find the right person for me to marry." If this were in fact the true purpose wouldnt one need to be truely ready for marriage before they start dating. If they are not, they are wasting their time and the time of their partner because they have not finshed growing and experiancing life.

    So the real limitation to getting married is not whether you find the right person but rather it is your mental, and spiritual level that keeps you from marriage and the responsibilities of it. So in order to get ready for marriage, we need to grow in all aspects of our life. Educationally, spiritually, financially and many others. I say financially not out of how much money a person makes but out of financial responsibility to support ones' self.

    At 16 in America is definate not the right time to start dating. Still living with our parents and they are supporting us, of course many have jobs, but are still being supported by their parents. Most are thinking about continuing their education in college, so they are still not finished learning. And who can forget the most important thing of all, our spiritual life and relationship with God.

    So at this stage in our lives we still have alot of growing left to do. Then what is the point of starting a relationship when we are not ready. It is like trying to run a 20-mile marathon when we not in the right cardiovascular shape. In the beginning its ok because we thinking about how great it would be to finish, then we pass the one-mile mark and we are alittle tired but we still keep going because we have our eye on the goal. At the 2-mile mark, we are almost all the way spent but we still want to finish. Shortly after we tire out and cant go any further.

    In our society, many people begin dating when they are truely not ready just because everyone else is doing it. A relationship might last 2 months or maybe 2 years. A relation ship between two people needs spending time together. Then there is always the breakup, and this could lead to the most trouble of all. Because when people invest time into something they want results. Almost nobody marries the first person they date, and if they do they divorce anyway. So why would we go through all of this. Just to be cool with a few friends? So other people will take notice? Why would we willingly stunt our growth in life and our success. This is not love, this is a trap! We would be much more successful if we just focused on our own growth.

    Our society is also an impatient society. We want things now. "Buy now pay later", this is the best way of describing dating at this age group. Date the person that you want, and pay for it with the advancement of your life. They want to be included with the rest of society so they need a boy/girlfriend to fit in, or to show off to their friends.

    So if we are still considering dating, maybe we should reevaluate our answer to the question "What is our purpose for dating?", because it is definitely not about marriage. We have to ask ourselves if these reasons are truely worth wasting our eventual success in life.

  • At that age, we should focus our energy on Christ/positive things, rather than wasting our time with relationships that most likely will not work out anyway.
    Think of how much that person could do with her/his time rather than spending it on the relationship.
    Besides, the right thing at the wrong time is the is the wrong thing.
    hope that made sense
  • [quote author=hardyakka link=board=10;threadid=3976;start=0#msg56048 date=1149766980]
    Hey Why

    Once an individual especially in there teenage years decides that it is fundamental to have a boyfriend/girlfriend to be part of society, it is impossible to change their philosophy, because they have aquired this thought from many sources.

    Lets be honest its not as if you wake up one morning and say i want a boyfriend/girlfriend, as humans we often take time to think about it, while we examine our morals the advantages and disadvantages with such a life changing decision.

    Therfore all you can do for your friend is to be there for her while at the same time pleading with Christ to lead her path, for with God nothing is impossible.

    I know this is tough, but im afraid this is reality, just pray for her, put her name on the altar and God will do the rest.



    I AGREE ..i couldnt have said it beta maself...

    however..LOL..i have Alot of friends like that..and a couple who need me to tell them (they are still unsure about dating) evn though they still do it...


    thanks for all the replies so far ....
  • you might find somthing in here:


    myth of safe sex- video
    Life of purity is possible with Christ
    Pornography and sex is
       addictive
       progressive- instead of watching it 1 minute or practicing it once you’ll do it more
       Deadly- it’s a good hit the first time like drugs. Physical addiction and psychological and instead of turning to God you will turn to this habit.
    There are 35-38 sexually transmitted diseases such as HPV, Herpes, AIDS- which kills, Chlamydia etc.
    Why is there more people practising sex? Media
    Why in the old days there weren’t these things but now there is? These days people don’t care about God, love and lust get mixed up, media is affective, school encourages, peer pressure and people try it out to see which partner is the best.
    You are free to do whatever you want but in the end both are loosing but mostly women as they have the virginity seal, they get pregnant, diseases.
    This culture is very destructive. They don’t say how many people die from it rather they say go try it out.
    The media says use condoms and everything will be ok but safe sex is a myth- condoms don’t work, then they say just in case condoms don’t work there is always abortion.
    Sexual activity doesn’t hold, the more you spend together eg. Dating or going out the more familiarity with them then you will end up having intercourse,
    If you make up your mind and do what God wants you to do you will slow down with things such as holding hands, hugging etc.
    When you fall pregnant and you have a disease the baby will be affected by the disease you have.
    Guys give intimacy for sex but girls give sex for intimacy- just to look acceptable in society.
    Why would you loose God for some one to say I love you and once you have intercourse ‘one night stand’ they throw you away and say they don’t know you. At that time the girl looses physically and emotionally,
    If you know a partner has aids will you have intercourse with them? Of coarse not!! So don’t take the risk as people don’t know if they have a disease or not,
    Purity is a factor to go to heaven. In our religion its wrong to have sex before marriage. If you are having sex you are sinning to your body by wrecking the Holy temple of the Holy Spirit. For example you can’t out of the blue go murder some one it goes slowly by hatred etc. that’s like sexually activity. It starts off by small steps like holding hands, then hugging then kissing then there comes all the rest.
    Sexually immorality- spending around 200 hours with a guy (mixing with guys in groups) if you work with him you fall for him.
    If you are a true devout Christian why would you do that and its not the time or age for marriage.
    Once you loose your second virginity which is the virginity in you head the physical virginity will come easily after that.
    1 exposure of porn will keep going and increasing that’s the same as choosing to have sex if you do it once you will keep going- there is no safe way.
    Rape is very common (forced sex)- 20% girls loose their virginity by drunkenness etc. its not planned, only by guys. Dating is a source that is asking for rape.
    Society thinks or implies to you if you don’t have sex then you are retarded, homosexual etc.
    VIRGINITY IS PRICELESS, DON’T THROW IT AWAY!!

    i no its bout sex but hey sum stuff is gr8 in here

    +FROG+
  • THANKS FROG>>>>BBUT U GOT ANYTHING NOT ABOUT SEXUAL INTERCOURSE...i dunn think they want to do that aat the moment...lol


    but thats gud stuff!~
  • um ask them this question....would they go out on the date and do whatever they want to do if one of their parents was in the back seat......i mean God is the father of all and if they are too ashamed of their parents to do anything in front of them then how would they do it in front of the all mighty God, the father of all??

    ok they might answer by saying we just going as friends...therefore tell them that just to remember that God said "But I say to you that whoever looks at a woman to lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart." Matthew 5:28........so I do not think they will be sure that nothing will ever happen on the date.

    I mean nothing "good" comes out of a date but alot of "bad" comes out
  • wow thats reallllllllllly good..thanks heaps!!
  • ok thank God

    She has taken my advice.

    thanks for your replies :)
  • Nothing good comes out of a date ???, Man i wonder how so many people get married!!!!!
  • Simple relationship: its called friendship.
  • Ok, my Priest was giving a talk about marriage and he said, "You guys become so good friends with the guys and girls in church(depending on your sex) that you are like brothers and sisters and you cant marry eachother because you are like brothers and sisters." Thus, friendship leads to such a strong bond of brothers and sister so you have to meet someone else, thus by dating, or how else would you get to know them?
  • a very bad and dangerous way: the net


    +FROG+
  • is that a joke? Get to know them through the net?????? ??? Ok, that's nice plan on the marriage date, and then comes the wedding and you find out the other person wasnt what you thought they were, interesting
  • ye it almost seems lyk a joke its the dumbest way to do anything... sadly there is even a copticmatch.com heheh funny nation but i gess they put it there bcoz sum ppl just love it and hav the need to (for sum reason) to go on the net n do it so they put a coptic 1 but then agen its encouraging ppl that woodnt do it to do it... sad nation

    +FROG+
  • well funny enough, alot of people are meeting new people over the internet.
    Many girls i know are meeting people over the net and meeting up with them. Honestly, i think it is dangerous but sometimes, where you seem to know the person it may SEEM that it is okay to meet up with them.

    this is a very dangerous method of meeting people but many people are easily fallen for its 'enjoyment'. i can tell you that i am a hypocrite :-\ :-[
  • Why,

    Since you claim you are a hypocrite then I presume you have met an individual over the net, out of curiosity what was your reasons for thinking it was okay?

    this is a very dangerous method of meeting people but many people are easily fallen for its 'enjoyment'. i can tell you that i am a hypocrite

    I’m confused by your term “enjoyment” can you please specify what you mean exactly since that term is very abstract and can be used loosely.

    If this is too personal to share in public then a pm will do if that’s alright.

    In His Name
  • umm well for the first part, when u think you know someone becuase you have been talking to them for so long, you THINK that you know a sufficient amount to at least MEET them- socially not privatly.

    for the second question, i meant the enjoyment of meeting and making friends over the net, sociallising and having the chance to talk to someone where for once your facial and bodily features are not what you are first characterised with. i am not saying it in regards to me but to all the people that use this method. i know that that i why they prefer the net over meeting face to face.
  • i dont think there is anything wrong with dating as long as:

    (1) the relationship is with God
    (2) best friends first
    (3) both ppl have to be mature spiritually and emotionally
    (4) no sneaking around (phone calls, sneaking out, lying, etc)
    (5) no lusts or physicality (if this happens then stop the realtionship immediately)
    (6) no exceptions, dont say, ok we can just kiss but we cant do this, or this, because you are setting yourself up for a fall, even if u dont do what u said you will lust, and u will want, and even if you do not sin in person u will sin in spirit
  • EXACTLY..awesome superman..

    amba daniel, when he was asked this question answered in EXACTLY THE SAME WAYYY...

    i like it..

    do u guys think that these conditions are hard to follow???

    oh can i add something aswekk to supermans point..

    it must be done in GROUPS..therefore NO singling out
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