A Perosnal issue between me and me (and my FOC, but he doesn't know it)... :(

edited October 2006 in Personal Issues
i don't feel close to him...


  • Maybe Christ was testing you to see how much you really wanted to confess and to see how much u feel u need the sacraments. But now you know you need it. MarMar you went only two times did u have the chance to go another 5 or more times?
    Afterall you seem to be one of the grown up sisters in Christ on this board.. But dont take this from as if its from God how can I know when God is speaking through me or the devil? but it is something to think about maybe?
    I hope I dont sound harsh to you. But Christ always loves you and is longing for you to join Him in Communion so you can bear more fruit and He wants you happy. He wants to give you life and give it most abundantly... right?
    Pray for me a sinner.
  • Hey Marmar,

    I just wanted to tell you to hang in there. I know what you’re going through must be tough, and it’s a stumbling block that you are faced with, but remember that these little blocks can either make us stronger in our faith or weaker, your choice. Patience is a virtue and it really it is.

    “For whatever things were written before were written for our learning, that we through the patience and comfort of the Scriptures might have hope.” Romans 15:4

    “knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience.” James 1:3

    “Here is the patience of the saints; here are those who keep the commandments of God and the faith of Jesus.” Rev 14:12

    Here’s a story that I heard once that really helps me out when I feel frustrated, I hope it helps you too.

    There was an old man that lived in a monastery in Alexandria. The monastery was being remodeled and it was pretty hectic. One day an engineer was in a hurry, and he came up to the old man and told him, “Sir can you give these paper to the Bishop, please don’t leave without giving them these papers in his hand.” So the old man humbly said, “I promise to not leave without giving the papers to the bishop.” The old man went to the bishop first thing in the morning and told him “father, father” the bishop replied, “Yes, yes in a minute.” The man went to the corner and sat on the floor quietly. The bishop walked by him 8 hours later and saw him in the same spot. So the bishop quickly apologized for leaving, he forgot that the man was there and got occupied throughout the day. Then the bishop asked him what he wanted, so he answered and said “an engineer wanted to give you this paper, its very important.” The bishop was surprised and said, “that’s it you stayed here for more then 8 hours to give me a paper, why didn’t you get mad and leave after a couple of hours”? The man warmly smiled and answered, “why would I leave, this time was a blessing I just finished reciting all of psalms.”

    I know this story is a little long, but it really teaches us that patience is a virtue and those who posses it will be blessed.

    In His Name
  • Why dont your try ringing your confession father and confessing over the phone? When I lived in London I had a friend who used to ring his confession father in Sydney and Confess by Phone. Then he would receive absolution over the phone. (I don't think there is a distance limit for God).

    Just a suggestion!

  • [quote author=marksef link=board=10;threadid=1968;start=0#msg29776 date=1120056878]
    Why dont your try ringing your confession father and confessing over the phone? When I lived in London I had a friend who used to ring his confession father in Sydney and Confess by Phone. Then he would receive absolution over the phone. (I don't think there is a distance limit for God).

    Just a suggestion!


    Yea my friend did that once..I thought it was wrong but if two priests did it, I guess not...
  • If he has e-mail, why don't you try that? It's fast and convenient... But good for you for wanting to confess so bad lol...To be honest, if I were in your position, I would be like "too bad Abouna is busy I guess I can't confess :)" lol...Haha, anyways, inshalla you will get your chance :)
  • ok well y is her not lettin u confess?
    i really dont understand...
  • lissen... i had this problem and i went completly nuts on abouna's wife :-[... i was like how come he never has time! and she goes lissen... God has seen u repent and if u dont get a chance... he will remove this sin until u do get the chance...
  • if worst come to worst u should just change FOC
  • Ring him over the phone...not for absolution of course (OVER the phone?? Gimme a break!) but for telling him flatly, as a daughter to her father, that u don't have time father...so can u find me more time??? The other father is in New Jersey which is pretty far from here....so find me a solution

    Believe me, he'll take u seriously....

    May God be with you...(by the way..use this time to clean up yourself even more...what we call tadkeek in confession)
  • By the way...God does forgive....but not before a true confession is performed because simply the priest takes up ur confessions to the sanctuary where it is forgiven and the person cured from its effects by the Holy Spirit...I know this sounds wierd...but that is what happens...if for some reason the person truly repents but could not confess until he/she died, well...the church prays over the coffin....that is equivalent to confession...of course, the church sometimes does not know the person...well...at least if She does not know Him, she can say "Well..sir, I do not know this person but at least forgive him/her if You want sir."

    Confession is critical, yet flexible as it can be seen from this post here

  • This isnt really related......but i thought is pretty cool......Abouna used to always tell me (and others) that if u cant get a chance to confess it could mean that God telling u that ur not prepared for confession

    pray 4 me guys

  • no.1 it is related to the topic
    and no2 that is actually sooo true coz lyk 1nce i was planning on confessing for a heeps long time and i went and he sed he was busy and stuff and during that that week something happened that i needed to talk to him about so i actually done it the week after so it was better coz its not my normal church so yar i think that is pretty kool

    GB ALL
  • I must definetly agree...God only knows why He doesn't want to let us confess to something at a particular instant...but that's one of the main reasons...

    What's important is...well...tell Him that you really want to confess and prepare urself a bit more...being a bit more truer to urself...or maybe for some other reason...

    Whoever wants to confess will do....whoever wants to live out the Christian life will do, except everything goes on in God's good time...

  • yar thats absolutely correct iagree 100% with RFZ good stuff

    GB ALL
  • Hey gurl
    Mayb u shud just try writing a letter or sumthin cuz i live in o-town and go 2 church here 2 but i stil confess 2 my abouna in daytona. He isnt always free but most of the time hes the 1 that tells me that i am welcome into his office whenever i find it conveniant. try callin him and scheduling a time. if i dont see abouna issac (daytona abouna) in a long time then i just call his house phone and confess over the phone. good luck. may god b w/ u.

  • i just call his house phone and confess over the phone

    There is no such thing as confessing over the phone. Abouna needs to give u an absolution...and that is no way can be given over the phone...there is getting an advice over the phone but it's not called a confession.
  • I agree with the fact that abouna, in no way can give you absolution over the phone. So just try calling him and making an appointment
  • personally i think face to face is the best.
  • yar it so tottally is like i had that prob and every1ns lyk call him call him and im lyk no i have to go see him it just disnt werk that good over the fone unless as sum1 sed earlier for advice but not absolution

    GB ALL
  • same here you can't call because it will not mean you have confessed copletely and you have to go see your foc and tell him your confessions!!! lol hope everything goes well!!!
  • Marmar,
    it is awsome that God gave you to feel that way, so many others, including myself, won't feel bad if they didn't confess for a while.

    In any event, Here are some relvent points that I heard from Clergy on different occaions concerning the same topic.

    During the Liturgy, the priest prays 3 abolutions.
    1) During Vesper and morning Insence (Absolution of sins)
    2) After offering the lamb (Absolution for the servants)
    3) Inaudibly before communion (Absolution for communion)

    If any of you would notice that the first one is the same that gets said during a confession session. So if it is useless, why would the church put it to be repeated twice for every liturgy? The explanation I got was Our spiritual life is going thru these cycles of up sinning and repenting. while we may sin and repent everyday, it is near impossible to confess everyday. So the absolution is read for those who truely repented but have not gotten a chance to confess yet. This absolution is sufficient since it does involve the repentance and the priest would spread his hands kind like taking the sin of the poeple and offering it on the alter.

    This DOES NOT replace repentance. In repentance we recieve a solution and an absolution. If we have a presistant sin, we may repent and fall again and go thru that cycle over and over. A priest would be able to give us advice on a more individual basis on how to stop. Also, its a chance that we sit down with ourselves and go over our sins and transgressions so that we may repent and confess on them all.

    Again the above stment does NOT mean we shouldn't confess or as long as I attend morning raising of incense I am ok. I still need that individual session.

    Marmar, another piece of advice, a priest may postpone a few things cuz he doesn't have time or he is busy, Things like a sunday school meeting, servants meeting, an outing, etc... But two things that a priest CAN NOT put off till later. Baptisim and confession. In most sacrements, a priest has to be fasting to perform the sacriment (communion, recieve priesthood, etc..) However, the church allowes that a priest may not be fasting to perform the repentance and confession sacrement. He will be held responsible if God forbid somethin happens to someone who wanted to confess and he brushed him/her off. Lets remember one thing though, while it is his duty to perform the sacrment, it is our RESPONSIBLITY to make him aware of it. Be presistant, our father Jacob said to God (I will not release you unless you bless me) Do the same, wait by his car, (may be slash his tires or somethin, then confess about it later lol just kidding) But make known the fact that your desire to confess is far stronger than he can brush off.

    One last thing, a story about this saint who went and preached to this woman (I believe she was Saint Mary the Egyptian) and she repented and he was taking her back to confess when night fell. In the morning he found out that she passed away. He was upset thinking that she may not be saved but God appeard to him in a dream and assured him that He accepted her repentance but it was her time. So remember God is merciful and Just. He knows your works.

    Just my 2 cents.
  • wow that was great & informative coptic boy! :D :P

    god bless!

  • about what i said b4.... i have a confess over the phone to an abouna that lives far away from me....but he always tells me go to the abouna thats at my church and he will read you the absolution.... i do it all the time and both abounas r fine w/ it and they both agree that there is nothing wrong w/ that.

    P.S. Sry 4 any misunderstanding
  • their was once that i wanted to talk to my FOC and he turned me down but and i kinda shyed away for like a week or 2 but then i gave it another shot and it was fine after... i know he didnt mean it.. he told me in a nice way to come back to him tomorrow if thats ok wit me.. he didnt mean any harm by it.. i remember we were on atrip and it was really late.. maybe like 1am or something but ya.. its understandable.. just give ur FOC another shot and if he turns u down again then ask him why and tell him that he did it to u so many times.. talk to him and if nothing works then i say switch.. u need to.. so ya... gl..

    C.A.P. :-*
  • so it is okay to confess over the phone????

    batikha-basketball :)
  • maybe get advice and tell him about something (if its so necassary that you can't wait until you see him), but I just don't understand how a priest can give you absolution over the phone.
  • Christ4Life, it's okay in SOME cases. If someone moves away but they do not want to change their FoC, then they can call them and 'confess' over the phone. The only thing is they would have to go to a priest to have the absolution prayed on them...So you are right about the absolution over the phone issue...Please correct me if I'm wrong.
    Peace and God Bless!
  • okay i understand thanks!!!! god bless all....
  • I think if you have truly repented then our Dear Lord has already forgiven you. You must of course speak with your confession Father in order for you to have Holy Communion, but I'm sure the Lord who is always just and right will know in your heart what your thoughts and intentions are. Don't stress about anything going wrong in the mean time. But do try again to meet Abouna. 'Hang in there' as another member has already said. Take care and please pray for me.
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